YSaC, Vol. 1062: It’s the root of all evil today.

2011 August 23

 

revaluationary war prints,very cool x2 – $25


cool old pics in original frames with old store tages still on back. call ONLY xxx-xxx-xxxx thank you

 

The Revaluationary War took place when half of the country decided that 5 actually equaled 2.* (This was an early predecessor to cat math.) The war lasted either nine months or 3.6 months, depending on who you asked, and resulted in a loss of 6,000 (or 2,400) troops.

These items have been priced historically accurately, as according to the Revaluationary Army, $25 would actually be equal to $10; this is about twice as much as what they’re probably actually worth, which is the going rate for a quoted price in a Craigslist ad.

Interestingly, the Revaluationary Army never drummed up interest in their cause; this was caused by a deflation of their ability to get their assets in gear. Ultimately, nobody depreciated them, and the army returned to their unsecured capital without any gains.

 

* This isn’t as far-fetched as it may seem — don’t forget, Indiana once tried to legislatively change the value of pi to 3.2, 4, or approximately 3.4 all within the same bill.

84 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 August 23
    funky monkey permalink

    “very cool x2 ”

    I want that on a tee shit.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 August 23
      Jen permalink

      You want a shirt that just says “very cool, very cool”?

      I’d buy that.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 23
        funky monkey permalink

        Nope. I want it word for word “very cool x2″. But then pervs would think I’m talking about my hooties, wouldn’t they? Sigh.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23
          Jen permalink

          Pervs? Yeah, pervs. Them. I – ooh look a corner!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 23

          How about “I’m so cool I’ve lost toes to frostbite.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23
          Jen permalink

          I’m so cool, it’s difficult to maintain water in a liquid state in my vicinity.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23

          I’m so cool that frost forms on me. Nitrogen frost, that is.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 23

          “I’m so cool, you could keep a side of beef in me for a month.”

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 23
          Jen permalink

          Oooooh Smedley had to go to the corner!!!

          I’m so cool, Pluto uses me to stop its drinks from warming up.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 23

          I’m so cool my entropy has reached its minimum value.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 August 23

          I’m so cool I make Absolute Zero look like a zero.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23

          I’m so cool that Kelvin looks at me and says, “Woah, you’re pretty cool.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23
          Mr. Winkey permalink

          I was cool before it was cool.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 23
          Bacontini permalink

          Bacontini so cool, he refreshing.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 23
          funky monkey permalink

          I’m so cool my boogers are frozen.

          Too gross?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 23

          FM, I don’t think that’s too gross. If Calvin measures how cold it is by whether his boogers freeze, I think the rest of us can do so. Just be careful when you get home – a tiger may be waiting behind the door to pounce.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23

          I’m so cool I’ve been banned from twelve zoos for causing premature hibernation.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23

          I’m so cool I delayed global warming by 50 years.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 23
          Lola permalink

          Smedley went to the corner? Smedley also sent my brain to the corner in a hot second!

          Side of beef in …

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 23

          I’m so cool you’ve never heard of me.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 23

          I.Am.So.Cool

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 23
          LimeLolly permalink

          I wish I was cool. I’m just hawt!

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 23
          Windrose permalink

          I’m so cool — (How cool are you?) I’m so cool they named a frozen dessert after me on Mars!

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 24
      Karmyn permalink

      Psst, FM, you left out a letter there. Ew.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 August 24

        That was (probably) intentional. It’s a TacoTypo-ism that we’ve adopted as a meme.

        Adores: 0
  2. 2011 August 23

    I’ll buy that for a dollar!

    Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Fiefings and Revaluationary War Artifact Collector

    Adores: 8
  3. 2011 August 23
    Jen permalink

    Man, American history is awesome – we get land quarrels, long walks and rampant parrots and you get WARS fought with DRAGONS.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 23

      I love Sirocco. Sirocco makes me so happy.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 23
        Windrose permalink

        I’m sure he would be happy to return your regard.

        Adores: 1
  4. 2011 August 23

    I don’t see the cool old pics. Are they behind those ugly, poorly photographed bird-things?

    Adores: 7
  5. 2011 August 23
    camille permalink

    They have old store tages on the bag. According to Uncle Wikipedia, “Tages was a founding prophet of Etruscan religion.” Furthermore, representations of him are rare, but “winged figures, representing divinity, are also common, especially on funerary urns from Tarquinia, but whether any depict Tages is questionable.”

    I think we need to revaluate these objects in light of their obvious religious significance.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 August 23

      We could start our own old store school religion!

      1. Buy ugly bird-thing pictures.

      2. Peel Tages off back.

      3. ???

      4. Prophet!

      Adores: 21
      • 2011 August 23
        Jen permalink

        So many adores – is multiple adoring allowed under this new religion, O Holy Ghostie?

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 23

          Of course! I’m sure Tages would endorse polyadory.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 August 23
          Windrose permalink

          Wow! The Church of YSaC has its first break-away cult! Awesome.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 23

          Headed by the Bhagwan Shree Raj G.C.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 23

          But you can just call me Al.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 23
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          “[O]ld store tage” is very unsettling, the Tage being a clan in NE India.

          Sparki are racist, not a mental stretch of any length–but, adhering Apatani shopkeepers to junk store kitche does seem a little over the top.

          Adores: 0
  6. 2011 August 23

    Hmmm… There are old store tages on the backs of these. According to Urban Dictionary, those are breasts. These paintings are suddenly worth the $25.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 23

      Depends on the artistic rating of the tages. I don’t know that I’d fork out $25 for anything less than a B frame… artistically speaking.

      The tages that are in smaller frames just aren’t as collectable.

      And don’t get me started on any tage that has droopy canvas.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 23

        Tage you’re tit it!

        Adores: 6
  7. 2011 August 23

    The Salivationary Army’s lesser-known twin.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 23
      funky monkey permalink

      Yes, right next door to GoudaWill.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 23
        camille permalink

        I went to GoudaWill once, but their merchandise was too cheesy.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 23
          Lola permalink

          Not to mention the fact that all the clothes only came in bleu, the only entertainment available was Betamax tapes of “The Roquefort Files,” the only toys featured the Cookie Muenster, and the only books were the Havarti Boys mysteries. I hate to complain about a charity shop, but that one gave me the chevres.

          Adores: 16
        • 2011 August 23
          funky monkey permalink

          Yeah, and I don’t care for the way their items smell, ya know? Anytime I buy something from there I can’t keep the cats off of it.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 23

          I was going to buy a spread there, but at those prices? I told the saleslady they must be crackers to expect people to dip into their savings like that.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 23

          well cheez whiz, you guys!

          Adores: 2
  8. 2011 August 23
    Windrose permalink

    Actually, the Revaluationary War continues today. People who paid $300,000 or more for their houses now find they have to throw in their first born child and a couple stock options to get half that when they sell.

    Adores: 3
  9. 2011 August 23
    Windrose permalink

    I just noticed that this is Vol. 1062. In a mere 4 days (or 3.2 in Illinois) we’ll reach 1066! I don’t want to be Hastings about that date, and maybe it’s only special to me.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 23
      funky monkey permalink

      Post 1066 should be named “Norman”.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 August 23
        drmk permalink

        Damn it, I should have waited.

        By the way, if you haven’t seen this, you really need to.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ8A5gRe_Dw

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 23

          Genius.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 23

          Catchy tune, as are all the rest. An updated history “Schoolhouse Rock”, if you will.

          Adores: 0
  10. 2011 August 23

    To my everlasting (at least 15 minutes) shame, I did not understand what was wrong with the add until I’d read the comments.

    Truly my speling prows are formidable!

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 23
      funky monkey permalink

      And this is why we heart ye, my pequeno burrito.

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 August 23

      Truly my speling prows are formidable!

      I heard your poop deck is intimidating too…

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 23

        Especially after chili night.

        Adores: 2
  11. 2011 August 23


    You say you want a revaluation
    Well you know
    We all want to change the price
    You tell me that it’s evaluation
    Well you know
    We all want to know the worth
    But when you talk about misconstruing
    Don’t you know you can count Sparky in

    Don’t you know it’s gonna be all rite
    all rite, all rite

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 August 23
      Lola permalink

      Dayum. Hammy beat me to that comment.

      *refuses to pet the puppy’s tummy*

      Adores: 2
  12. 2011 August 23
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Forsoothe, with Ye Olde Store Tages on the back! Perhaps from Walton Market?

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 23
      CoffDrop permalink

      Oops!

      Adores: 0
  13. 2011 August 23
    Lola permalink

    OT: Eastern seaboard just had an earthquake centered in VA, reportedly. Hope everyone is OK.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 23

      I felt it here in NC. Made the doors and windows shake.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 23
        Lola permalink

        They felt it here and on upstate and out to Ohio, according to FB people. That’s a fair range. I am hoping our DC-area people are OK.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 23

          The building where I work was evacuated, but we’re back now.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 23

          OK here near DC. Had a lot of stuff fall off the walls and off of shelves at home, but nobody hurt. Hope everybody else is ok too.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 23
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          Curiously coincident, there was a 5.3 quake in southern Colorado, last night about midnight. Items off shelves, rattling, and the like from that one.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 23

          jg, whereabouts are you? I’m in Baltimore.

          All’s fine here. I noticed bottles rattling on the shelves and assumed it was due to the construction right outside the building. Didn’t realize it was an earthquake until I checked FB 20+ minutes later.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 23

        Felt it here. Whole house shook. Nothing major, though.
        Glad to hear that there don’t seem to be any casualties so far.

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 23

        AR: I’m in Fairfax VA. I think I knew you were in Baltimore from your posts. I’m up there a lot, since I owe my life to JHU Hospital. Glad you are OK!

        Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 23
      LimeLolly permalink

      Dittos on the hope everyone is ok. A coworker has a husband that works for the federal government and was told the epicenter was Mineral, VA… a little northwest from Richmond.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 23
      drmk permalink

      Hope all are safe.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 23

      Monitoring police/fire scanners – multiple residential collapses in Louisa, VA. No mention on injuries as of yet.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 23
      Windrose permalink

      Dang! California is just so last month! We don’t get torndoes or hurricanes, or tsunamis, and now our earthquakes are being out-sourced. Looks like wild fires are all we have. Although the Aussies did it better, with cute koala drinking water photos.

      Kidding aside, hope everyone made it through in safety.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 August 23

        I’d be happy to FedEx Hurricane Irene to you.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 23
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          You’ll want the large flat-rate box, now that Irene is 600-something Km across.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 23
          funky monkey permalink

          I was hoping tropical storm Don would be bigger, my father-in-law is named that. Would be a great opportunity to say “Dammit Don!!! Are you causing more trouble?! Won’t you please stop? DAMN!” for a few weeks.

          Seriously, fingers crossed for anyone shakin’ and swayin’.

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 23
      Jen permalink

      Sending good thoughts to everyone affected – earthquakes are the suckiest. Can Mother Nature just chill the frak out already? 2012′s supposed to be the freaky year – she’s early!

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 23
      CoffDrop permalink

      Evidently the quake occurred on a little known fault line outside of DC called “Bush’s Fault”.

      Adores: 4
  14. 2011 August 23

    Oh, what a difference one letter can make…

    Adores: 2
  15. 2011 August 24
    Windrose permalink

    Bianchi, no hiding in the box after hours! Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Eastern States, wherever you are!

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 25
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Hey thanks! Twice in a week. What am I, Taco?

      Sorry I missed it yesterday. The view from the beach house window of the Pacific has been taking all of my time. Oh and the cell service sucks too…

      Adores: 1

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