YSaC, Vol. 1081: Bump, set, OW!

2011 September 19

Seldom used Volley balls


Free balls all for your sporting needs, Email me for more details. Thanks

“I got it! I got it! …wait… I don’t want it! You get it!”
“I got it last time!”
“It’s not my turn!”

*crunch*

“So, the score is still 0-0, and we’ve been playing for an hour.”

Thanks for the link, Mackenzie!

138 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 September 19
    tigprincess permalink

    I think I’ll just head straight to the corner now ….. free balls for all my sporting needs? the answer to a maiden’s prayer!

    Adores: 6
  2. 2011 September 19
    tigprincess permalink

    Hey – what happened to my avatar?

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 September 19
      Lola permalink

      It’s back now … guess it was a bit chilly and needed the quilt. 8)

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 September 19
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        It was lion down for a bit.

        Adores: 16
  3. 2011 September 19

    Seldom used

    I cannot begin to imagine why.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 September 19

      For being seldom used they sure look scuffed up. Maybe Sparky should spend more time polishing his balls, or at least give them a good waxing so they look nice.

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 September 19
        Lola permalink

        Mmm, nice smooth balls …

        Wait, I typed that out loud?

        *corner*

        Adores: 5
  4. 2011 September 19

    Free balls all for your sporting needs, Email Hugh.J.nuts@hotmale.com for more details. Thanks (wheel barrel not included)

    Adores: 17
    • 2011 September 19
      D / DM permalink

      I’ve been looking for some balls to go with my rooster …never mind.

      Adores: 2
  5. 2011 September 19
    D / DM permalink

    It seems we’ve all forgotten what a “volley” ball is actually for.

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/volley

    These would be perfect.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 September 19
      Windrose permalink

      “Origin:
      1565–75; < Middle French volee flight, noun use of feminine past participle of voler to fly < Latin volāre" So what we have here are a bunch of flying balls. I had a nightmare like that once.

      Adores: 7

      • 2011 September 19
        Lola permalink

        One person’s nightmare = another person’s daydream

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 September 19

          Why so LARGE, Lola?

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19

          Holy crap! Now, I’m large, too!

          Wouldn’t have anything to do with ball condition, would it?

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Why are y’all screaming? Ahhhhh!

          PS: I know what it is. All this ball talk is making our fonts swell.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          I didn’t do it, whatever it was, CJ! Not my fault that all of this talk about balls is making things bigger.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I’m replying just so I can see my big font!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          I like big fonts and I cannot lie

          Adores: 11
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          🙂

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          Edited: well, that didn’t work. I tried to make even bigger font but it didn’t happen. Instead I get a “stack overflow” dialogue box.

          I’M TOO STACKED FOR THIS COMMENT!

          *corner*

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 September 19

          *Hide my face in from this comment*

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          Bad puppy!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19
          nonsensicalcat permalink

          I don’t know about y’all, but my balls… or…. ummm… fonts are always big. Or at least that’s what I tell people.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19

          I think someone forgot to close their brackets. What will the neighbors think?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          She’s got huuuge… trackings of fonts.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          “Close your brackets, man. There are women and children present.” 8)

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          You know what they say about girls with big fonts. Just sayin’.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          They’re BOLD?

          Adores: 6

        • 2011 September 19

          I cannot figure out why this is happening.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          I have no idea what I did, aside from hit “reply.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19

          Hmmm, will this fix it?

          Nope…

          How about this?

          No…hmmm

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          Lilly permalink

          well that is just great — between the post topic and the large fonts I have AC/DC’s “Big Balls” stuck in my head

          Adores: 10
        • 2011 September 19

          Looking at Windy’s post, it appears she tried to use inequalities as part of a copied text. I would look at her post and see if they accidentally triggered an HTML rule.

          Whatever it is has also added grey little stars next to everyone’s avatar, so it may be something that was designed to highlight a response… but it’s gone rouge!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          I like the little grey stars! And they’re grey, not rouge. 😉

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I hate it when shit goes rouge. It makes everything look cheap and easy.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 September 19

          Watch out for Ajax today, people. I tried to put in a snarky comment to show that “rouge” was on porpoise, but my computer went to 100% CPU usage and then my browser crashed on both attempts. So I’ll put it here:

          (Not just any HTML mistake can pull off that gaudy color, either).

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          And what about “porpoise”? Are we aquatic mammals now? I know they’re said to have big pecils, but what about balls? Or fonts??

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 September 20

          Porpoise was also intentional, yes.

          I’m thinking [Taco] tags may be necessary for when I do things on porpoise.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 20
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I dolphinitely think that none of it was on porpoise.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 20

          I have no fish to continue this stringer of thought. I’ve haddock enough of this; I’ve never bream so insulted.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 20
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Don’t think you can just skate away from providing answers by floundering in a sea of fishy tales. Carpe diem! Holy Mackeral! Spongebob Squarepants has risen!

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 September 20
        Windrose permalink

        It’s going to turn out to be all my fault, isn’t it? I’ll never copy and paste from that site again.

        Adores: 0
  6. 2011 September 19
    funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

    I like that blue ball in the middle.

    If Sparkys play volleyball with bowling balls, do they play football with badminton birdies? Soccer with softballs?

    If my crazy Siamese plays fetch with wadded up balls of paper, does that mean she’s a Sparky? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 September 19

      That’s probably more of a cat thing than a Sparky thing. My cat Fearless eats cardboard. She doesn’t play with it, she just eats it.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 September 19
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        My old Lucy cat eats flowers. If I bring any in the house I have to put them up high. She’s a nibbler. We think Sally the Siamese is just, well, “developmentally challenged”. She attacks the other two cats, they whip her ass, she shakes it off and comes back for more.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          My Possum kitty eats my hair when it’s wet. She’s all sorts of special.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          Firefly will lay on the back of Mom’s recliner and sniff or lick the top of her head. It’s kinda cute in a serial-killer sort of way.

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 September 19
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        River is a cardboard eater as well, and my boy Sherman used to be a crumpled up paper chaser. I could reliably distract him from what he was doing simply by crinkling a sticky note.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 September 19
          Windrose permalink

          When Rani was a kitten, 18 years ago, and computer paper came with all the pages connected to each other, she loved to get in the paper box and shred away. Mike would always be surprised when he was printing something and only got a portion of the third page.

          Rani also loved to chase cough drops or star mints around on top of the bed. She would pick up the item by one end of the wrapping, and throw it, then chase it, capture it, hold and kick, then start over. Hours of fun. But only if I was there to watch.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19
          Lola permalink

          Mine adores plastic shopping bags. Even if they don’t smell of food, they must be padded on to create attractive crinkling noises.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Every cat I’ve ever owned loves chewing on plastic grocery bags. Drives me crazy. Zeus also especially likes the hard plastic that crinkles really loud (i.e the plastic over microwave popcorn packs). Must be a plastic deficiency in their diets. Should start feeding them one Billy Bass once a week.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19

          Fearless can’t (or won’t) make the distiction between what is a toy and what is food. Simon loves to play with the pull rings off of milk jugs, but I can’t give him any because Fearless will steal them and eat them. She won’t play with them, she justs methodically knaws little pieces off and eats them.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          For some reason the plastic rings from the milk jugs always end up under the fridge. They’re like salmon going home to spawn.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          When we went to the fair a few weeks ago, we got a Hawaiian Tiki smoothy at one of the concession places. The lady put a blue tiki umbrella in it, one of those paper ones. Lyle Jr loved it to the point that we had to take it home with us. When it got here, it became the instant obsession of our other cat, George. She’d chase that stupid little umbrella all over the house. I eventually got a hold of it and threw it away after she had shredded the paper into little strips.

          Adores: 0
  7. 2011 September 19

    For all my “sporting” needs? Really, Sparky? I can’t really see myself playing horseshoes with these things.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 September 19
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Bowling Ball Horseshoes is the name of my Mannheim Steamroller cover band.

      Adores: 15
  8. 2011 September 19

    You sell my Nerf and I turn off my brain
    Too many balls drives Sparky insane
    They broke my grill, oh what a thrill
    Goodness gracious ALL BALLS ARE FREE!

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 September 19
      mud "" slicker permalink

      I thought you were going to make that last line:

      Goodness, gracious PUDDING ON FIRE!!!

      The rest of the day will be a disappointment now. *sigh*

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 September 19
        Windrose permalink

        Happy Monday, Mudsy. 8)

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I need a Hammy dog pic posting. And I need it NOW!!!

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 September 19

        *Lifts leg on post*

        Oh, you said pic…

        Adores: 9
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          But I like pie.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 September 19

        You know… the original line was ALL BALLS ON FIRE but I changed it last minute for some reason. I blame getting up after 3 hours of sleep to attend a 4-hour meeting that mostly did not pertain to my department.

        Adores: 1
  9. 2011 September 19

    Well, at least the ad wasn’t for a boweling ball.

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 September 19
      Lola permalink

      What, you don’t like seeing ads for the GI department’s annual dinner and dance? What’s your problem with specialists?

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 September 19

        Well, ever since I took second in the endoscope look-alike contest I’ve just been singling them out for abuse.

        Adores: 6
      • 2011 September 19
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        They always hold that event in the sub-basement of the conference center and I can never find it in that maze of hallways.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          The emergency EXIT door has a tendency to stick.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          Yeah, but when it finally does open everyone rushes out.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          That’s down in Hallway D.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          This post needs an enema!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          no…a coffee slice colonic.

          Adores: 1
  10. 2011 September 19
    Windrose permalink

    Special Today at House o’ Balls! All Volley Balls Are Free! That’s Right, Free! Take one, take them all! HOB Corporation is not responsible for any broken bones, sprains, or brain damage due to contact with balls.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 September 19

      HOB Corporation is not responsible for any broken bones, sprains, or brain damage due to contact with balls.

      If you’re getting those sorts of injuries from contact with balls, you’re doing it right wrong.

      Adores: 6
  11. 2011 September 19

    Oh hell..why fight it?

    Balls, balls, gitcher balls here!

    Blue balls? Got ’em!

    Seldom used? I believe there’s quite a few products on the market to help in that department.

    “Volley” balls? So, that’s what the kids are calling it these days, eh?

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 September 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      I can’t help but feel sorry for Sparky and his ‘seldom used balls’.

      :snerk:

      Okay, I’m done feeling sorry. (Sorry is that yellow one right there)

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 September 19

        QUILT!

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          I know… friggin’ fat-fingered my email… again. You’d think it would be more grateful.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Heh. “Fat fingered”. Heh heh.

          Adores: 2
  12. 2011 September 19
    Windrose permalink

    Addicted Reader is in the box today. 8) I think Lyle left some fanfic in there for you to read.

    Adores: 1
  13. 2011 September 19

    Let’s see…A regulation volleyball weighs about 22 ounces.

    If those are 11 pound bowling balls they would weigh about 23.5 ounces on Europa.

    These are obviously for the 42nd interplanetary summer Olympics.
    (-260 degree beach volleyball, nippley!)

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 September 19
      D / DM permalink

      Anything’s better than last year. Last year we showed up to play volleyball and they just gave us these loincloths, and…

      *shudders*

      Let’s just hope there are no monkeys on Europa. That’s all I’m sayin’.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 September 19
        mud "" slicker permalink

        There are only bulls on Europa.

        *silly puppy*

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 September 19

          MonkeyBinchRoosterBall please

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Yep. There it is again, and it’s just Monday. MORE MONKEY HATING!!!!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          I love Monkey, especially with a nice curry sauce.

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 September 19
        D / DM permalink

        Hammy, did you say [coreysauce]?

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19

          No, no I did not.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2011 September 19
    MandaB permalink

    *strolls into snark lounge, looks at post, laughs hysterically and walks straight to corner*

    Happy Monday! I’ll just be over here humming AC/DC.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 September 19


      I’m a rolling thunder when sent at pins
      I’m coming on like a shooting pain
      My serve is flashing across the sky
      You’re underneath you’re gonna die

      It won’t take no digs won’t spare no sets
      Nobody’s putting up a spike
      I got my balls I’m gonna break you to hell
      I’m gonna get you Kiraly get you

      Hell’s balls
      Yeah hell’s balls
      You got me spikin’ hell’s balls
      My high pitched cry, hell’s balls

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 September 19
        mud "" slicker permalink

        I think that was more like BC/AD.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19

          Before Craigslist/ After Dumbass?

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Yes….I think the dividing timeline is when bejeebus was hung on a clothesline.

          Adores: 5
  15. 2011 September 19

    As a person living in a balls free environment, I, well that is, what I am trying to say is that in my opinion, actually I just wanted to say balls free.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 September 19
      D / DM permalink

      Laundry day for you too, huh?

      Adores: 9
      • 2011 September 19
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        Every day is laundry day for me, if you know what I mean. *wink wink*

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          D / DM permalink

          I do know what you mean, you damned dirty ape.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 September 19

          To the corner with both of you!

          Adores: 2
  16. 2011 September 19

    Oooh, lookit the pretty colors!

    ::crunch::

    Ow.

    Adores: 4
  17. 2011 September 19
    mud "" slicker permalink

    AAAArgh! I let a whole half a day go by before I realized that today’s the day we talk like a pirate.

    Parlay and walk the plank deck swabbers!!!!

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 September 19

      Avast! Me mess mates dropped the sail on that one! I’ve been pillagin’ all day without so much as a yo-ho-ho! Shiver me timbers, but I be in a foul mood now, as foul as the waves tha’ roll up from Davey Jones’ locker. Yar…

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 September 19

      Want some candy little girl…?

      Oh, you said pirate.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 September 19
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Yeah, silly.

        You should have said, “Avast! Girly want some candy? Aaargh.”

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19

          Arrr Binch, get ye to my balls of volley.

          Adores: 3
      • 2011 September 19
        D / DM permalink

        Warez! Romz! DVD rips! MP3z!!!

        What? What do you mean, “Not that kind of pirate?”

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          No, Torrentz…not that kind of pirate. 🙂

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 September 19
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      Arrrrrgh! Uh…

      The Edmund Fitzgerald! Poop deck!

      That’s all I got.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 September 19
        mud "" slicker permalink

        The Edmund Fitzgerald? I think that was more like talking like a Canadian….

        8)

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Wasn’t that the song that Gordon Lightfoot did? ‘Bout some shipwreck?

          *Googles*

          Yeah. It was. I’m old, that’s what popped in my head.

          Um, yeah, arrrrrrgh!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 September 19
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Well, if you’re looking for some free pirate-themed music, look no further.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Truer than you thought it would be.

          *File Not Found*

          Do not pass go….do not collect $200.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Better now? WordPress was not as smart as I had thought it would be.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Ooh! It’s Paul and Storm. Much better.

          🙂

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 September 19

      Arrgh! Shiver me planks and swab the poop deck!

      Adores: 1
  18. 2011 September 19
    funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

    (o/t)

    I have this week off from work, we’re painting the master bedroom. Two discoveries:

    1: After moving furniture in prep for painting I’ve found at least 20 catnip mice. THAT’S where they’ve been disappearing: Behind bureaus and under the bed.

    2: I took everything off the walls and propped them up in the hallway and other rooms, etc. I have propped a mirror up in the perfect spot so as to watch myself, um, “sit on the throne”. Loverly.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 September 19
      Windrose permalink

      Oh noes! You disturbed the Holy Catnip Collection of Antioch! We will all perish for this catastrophy!

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 September 19

        “cat-astrophy”

        Yup.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          :hangs the taxidermied posterior of a domestic feline on the Snark Lounge wall:

          Now we have our very own Cat Ass Trophy!

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 September 19

          If you had two you would need a cat-astrophy “S” on the end.

          Adores: 0
  19. 2011 September 19

    “Origin:
    1565–75; < Middle French volee flight, noun use of feminine past participle of voler to fly < Latin volāre"

    So what we have here are a bunch of flying balls. I had a nightmare like that once.

    If I paste this down here is my font huge?

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 September 19

      This is a test…

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 September 19

        Hmmm.

        Adores: 0
      • 2011 September 19
        mud "" slicker permalink

        *pitch pipe*

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 September 19
        mud "" slicker permalink

        ..this is ONLY a test…

        (this refuses to embed up there ^. You broke the internet.)

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 September 19

          YAY!

          Job security 😀

          *Fires up the orbiting cave of wonders internetz troubleshooter XZ9000*

          “What are you doing Ham?”

          Adores: 2
      • 2011 September 19
        Windrose permalink

        A+ for spelling. D for content.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 September 19

          Should I add more contents?

          Asia
          Europe
          North America
          South America
          Africa
          Australia
          Antarctica
          Pangea
          Xanth
          Narnia

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 September 19
          mud "" slicker permalink

          You forgot the North Pole and the South Pole.

          Pangaea…. *throat clear*

          Aargh and Avast!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 19

          There goes my A+

          :*-(

          Adores: 2
  20. 2011 September 19

    Sure – 10 lbs is regulation for volleyball, right?

    Adores: 1
  21. 2011 September 20
    D / DM permalink

    Pangaea? I hardly know ya!

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 September 20
      D / DM permalink

      Well, that was an odd place to add this comment…

      Adores: 0
  22. 2011 September 20
    Windrose permalink

    AR, I must be going through a phase where I fall asleep before punching out. Anyway, Punchity Punch Punch! Thanks for being such a loyal YSaC commenter.

    Good Morning, Bowling Green!

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.