YSaC, Vol. 1115: Slip slidin’ away …
LOVESEAT & SOFA – $80
Hi, my name is Jenn and were selling our sofa & loveseat for $80, because we are currently trying to get rid of it ASAP! The loveseat has a rip on the corner, but cant really see if you adjust fabric. Its still very comfy, and cuddable. It has some minor stains, mostly due from vaseline, to when my younger siblings would climb n play, but throw in covers for the couch and its still very very decent and comfortable! Only 5 years old couch 🙂 No pets in household. Clean environment. Only asking for $80 for both because we need it out ASAP! Please call me at xxxxxxxxxxx or xxxxxxxxxx. Ask for Cj or Jenn.
Thanks and i hope to hear from you soon!
Ah, the good old days … back when my older sister used to lather us younguns up with Vaseline and we would just climb all over everything. Now THAT was entertainment. These kids today, with their pomegranate-scented body lotions — they don’t know what they’re missing. There’s nothing like covering yourself with pure petroleum jelly and then pretending the sofa is a slip-n-slide.
Thanks, Janellionaire!
First, I feel I must disavow all knowledge of this posting.
Second, the Griswold family couch was a decent enough testing ground for the lubricants Clark brought home from the lab.
Unfortunately, the fabric didn’t stand up to the repeated…umm….testing and we had to scrap the whole experiment.
Again, I’m speaking totally hypothetically here. I am not the Cj you are looking for.
This brings a whole new meaning to your nickname, CJ.
Vaseline stains with a dodgy explanation are one thing, but buying furniture from a house with pets would just be gross.
Exactly! Imagine how the vaseline would make the pet hair stick to everything.
Yeah, tell me about it. I already learned my lesson about putting Vaseline on the cat. There’s a mistake I won’t make again.
When do the stitches come out, Taco?
After they finally catch the cat again. Slippery little bugger.
now that’s a youtube video I’d pay to watch!
Youtube probably does not have the bandwidth for “Gerg versus the vaseline-ed cat”
See, that’s why you should always use a water-based lubricant rather than Vaseline – it just washes right off of any furniture, clothing, or livestock it might have gotten spilled on without leaving any hard to explain stains.
Or so I hear.
I love the reason they give for selling: We are selling it, because we are currently trying to get rid of it.
Point of fact, I don’t blame them. Vaseline, indeed.
Nice Avitar, Cindy B.! 8) And yes, you could teach a class in Sparky Logic!
Thanks! *curtsies*
No idea why it has to go NOW, though. I suspect it’s before the body stuffed into it begins to smell, but that’s just a theory.
Snakes!
Ninjas!
Dead ninjas and snakes, with a side of auntie juice.
No thanks, I’m not that hungry.
You sit on it; I can’t sit with you…
…too many bees.
The seller seems to think the loveseat is a cud above one from a household with pets, or maybe the rip proves that it’s cuddable. I’ll have to chew on the definition for a while.
Maybe they meant “cuttable”. Because clearly, it is.
Or should be – and hey! Look what I found! My old switchblade!
I wept for the English language when I did a Google search for “cuddable” and it came back with 66,200 results.
And after today, YSaC will be number 66,201!
Yay?
What, doesn’t everyone cuddle their couch? I know I do! =P
I’m going with, as in only should be used for cows to chew on.
VASELINE ALL THE THINGS!!!!!
The use of “vaseline” and “younger siblings” together probably flags this for some child pron searching bot. We’ll never get any sponsorship! Ever!
Unless there’s a site out there featuring hot sofa-on-loveseat action, probably not.
doesn’t rule 34 come into play here?
Always, always, you cute little king-of-the-jungle you.
I am aware of at least one site that features furniture pron.
*Chew chew chew chew chew*
You know…
*Chew chew chew chew chew*
I been lookin’ fer a loveseat
*Chew chew chew chew chew*
But it’s gotta be cuddable, ya hear?
“throw in covers for the couch and its still very very decent”
But is that gonna cost me extra? *sniff* What’s that smell?
I think someone’s been trying to set pudding on fire again.
There’s where I lost my snake…three months ago…
Heh heh. “Snake”. Heh.
Also, can something be “very very” decent? Doesn’t the word “decent” here imply that it will be ok, but still not great?
Ah, I see, “de-scent” was meant, and sparky-correct changed that to “decent”.
Still seems Hart of Darkness to me, the horror the horror . . .
I suspect she’s not being entirely honest about the origins of the Vaseline. It’s not called a LOVEseat for nothin’, y’know.
TC, please pull up an avatar from Gravatar and join the group! That comment just showed you belong in the Snark Lounge, possibly in the corner.
Hi, my name is ‘LimeLolly’, but you can call me ‘Al’. Take my furniture…please.
[OT] Here’s an actual conversation with a coworker today:
Coworker: “With all these server problems I’ve been thinking-”
Me: “A dangerous past-time.”
Coworker: “I know.” *long pause followed by realization and a dirty look.*
[/OT]
Taco – whenever someone says “I’ve been thinking….” to me, I tell them “There you go, workin’ without tools again.”
You’re welcome.
Here’s another.
When someone says, “I don’t think…..” quickly interject with “That’s okay, you look good.”
Again, you’re welcome.
‘I was thinking..’
I knew I smelled smoke!
Or possibly “Careful, you’ll strain something.”
I tend to quote Beauty and the Beast;
X: I was thinking..
Me: A dangerous pastime (I know)
EDIT – I read in reverse order and did not see Taco’s original comment until after I posted.
Aarrgg…I meant to nest my comment where you did. Darn. =)
I once had the most wonderful opportunity ever, and I had a witness too. I was working as a photographer in San Diego Old Town. We dressed people up in Old West and Victorian costumes set them up in a saloon or parlor, and took a Polaroid photo. My coworker then took the Polaroid into the dark room and made copies in sepia tones.
We often had the Cream of the Tourist Crowd come in, and one guy argued with me about lighting and costume choices. I said, I think it will work better this way. He said, I don’t think, I know. I replied, I don’t think you know either, but you’re paying for it. He looked blank. LOL.
Indeed, the Server Problems Age (which came between the stone and bronze ages, despite popular belief) was a very dangerous past-time. All those Wooly Routers and Saber-Toothed Hard Drives running around, you know.
Taco, I’m guessing your little OT story was a Beauty and the Beast reference. At least, that’s how I took it. =)
It was indeed.
I’m too busy singing along to today’s earworm title to come up with anything spectacularly funny. So just popping in to say “hello” basically! *waves and wanders off to the corner to check her spot for Vaseline stains* I really need to stop letting Sven sit in my chair…
Love Seat
Over sized chair of dusty plum,
forcing my body into fetal pose.
Color the perfect shade of pain and depression,
you beckon me.
You’re velvety arms encase me,
as my body sinks into you’re warm embrace.
Sucking the blood red of pain &
the cold midnight blue of depression from me
into you’re fabric.
I sink into you’re warm softness
Free to dream peaceful dreams.
Karen Thornburg
I’m gonna buy this for my cow. She loves things that are cuddable (ba-dum-bum).
Cuddable.
Does Sparky mean “cuttable”? As in, the damaged bit could be cut away somehow?
Or is it chewable?
Or is it good for cuddling despite the Vaseline smeared everywhere?
Because the first time I read through the ad my mind heard “cuddable” as “cuddle-able” and it wasn’t until I read the comments that I realized that’s not what it said.
Apparently I need some coffee slices, stat. Also, somebody to cuddle.
I vote for “cuttable”. As in when you get home you’ll want to cut yourself for buying a gooey couch for eighty actual dollars.
Buyer’s remorse. The kind of thing that can only be cured with a Vaseline cuddle.
I suddenly have an urge to get me down some vaseline and cuddle up on the loveseat with you’re beautiful poetry.
If vaseline is the one source of stains they’ll mention by name, dare I ask where the rest of them came from?
I’m a long-time lurker, but Cracked.com did an article about CL and I thought you guys might like it. If it was funny enough to finally make me post, it should be funny enough for anybody. It even mentions an armour, er…armario, uh…you know the one.
http://www.cracked.com/article_19533_the-6-types-people-selling-stuff-craigslist-5Bchart5D.html
Love your avitar, Miso! Thanks for the link. 8)
Punchity Punch Punch camille! Could you, uh, pass that on to dan? Thanks.
Good Morning, Ethan Allen!