YSaC, Vol. 1286: Ats-a no good.
2012 July 2
set the table and chair – $40
set the table and chair
OK, “set the table” I understand. It doesn’t strike me as a service that’s actually WORTH $40, but maybe it’s per month or something like that. Actually, for a table that small, I’d want two months.
But “set the chair?” That just sounds to me like a setup for a throwaway joke from a 1930’s screwball comedy. I love 1930’s screwball comedies. I think “Bringing Up Baby” is one of the funniest movies ever made. Can’t you just see Katharine Hepburn hiding an incriminating plate of mashed potatoes on a chair, only for Cary Grant to inadvertently sit on them later?
Excuse me – I have to go watch “Duck Soup” again.
Thanks for the post, Greg!
Duck Soup? Whya no chicken?
Picky, you are.
Excuse me; I have to go find my hammer and saw so I can make my bed.
Ah, see, it’s only the heiress that knows exactly how many matches are to be in the matchbook, and under which leg of the chair, or it wobbles’ but, the overly-eligible bachelor thinks the heiress is hired help, and goes off on a road (or train) trip of zany situations and circumstances. Which remain all chaste and correct, if racy and suggestive, and never once devolves into sordidness or base or crass physicality. The whole thing then collapses of its own illogic, but, then the music soars, everyone realizes what is right and correct, all live happily ever after (except for the comic-relief villain).
Oh, and in the beforetimes, preceding my YSaC awareness, was an ad for Table and Chair Sett–and the thought of accordion-pleated furniture aligned to a plaid pattern still boggles the lumpy cholesterol I use for a brain.
“Lumpy cholesterol ” – hum, should that be my next emboidered pillow project, or maybe a t-shit?
I thought Sparky was offering to pay someone to set the table and chairs. It is rather plain, you know. I think a Lionel Richie nacho cheese fountain might funk it up a bit or maybe a couple of bedazzled throw cushions on the chairs.
(I <3 "Bringing Up Baby")
And if you’ve got the Bedazzler out, you might as well add a few deer hooves; everything’s better with Bedazzled deer hooves.
Don’t forget a spot for the toe nail collection.
Silly Sparky, that’s called “staging”, which scads of people claim pays ludicrous well, but, no one actually seems to use the “for hire” services, ever.
Perhaps a blonde perm and squeeze-bulb horn are required?
For $40 of “setting the table and chairs” I think they could do better than two cushions, a bowl of candy and a sad potted plant in a too-small pot.
Let’s make it ‘tropical’ and add a Tahiti Sam
“Put things on the table and run the meeting” would have been more clear.
It’s nice, but this poem lacks the lyrical poignancy of Ewan McTeagle’s earlier work Red Table For Sale, Take it For Free! or his powerhouse The Table.
Or, perhaps, his transcendent “Send me $40 until Tuesday, when the Building Society Pays My Claim”
I was still most appreciative of Roofer.
Is it just me for is there a lot of CL sucking having to do with tables?
That didn’t come out exactly as I meant it to
Well, given the placement of one of those chairs right in front of the door, that’s a slapstick sequence just waiting to happen.
It’s feng shui for the conflicted. That way good fortune can walk in the door and slap you in the back of the head before you have a chance to screw it up somehow.
Feng Shui for the Conflicted is the name of my J-Pop Death Cab for Cutie cover band.
I’m thinking the stripes would scare Fortune away.
Yes, but which chair do I set? And what time do you want it to go off?
Hey! That’s my line!!
Oh, Cinderella!!!
I’ve heard of setting one’s cap for someone, but setting the table and chair sounds a little extreme.
Maybe its Sparky’s version of the classic Wimbledon statement “Game, Set and Match”?
Deuce
The only thing those chairs will ever match, is each other…
It sets the table or it gets the hose again…
Box Roll Call: Dave! Ferrets! Ghostie! LiLo! Capn! Listen up! You are among the Best of the Best in the Commentariat. Your country needs you to keep snarking. Get out there and rack up the doors. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Breakfast at Tiphannie’s.
I feel like I should go out and verbally kill something now.