YSaC, Vol. 1419: It don’t go too fast.
1984 Honda Enterceptor FASTEST BIKE EVER MADE – $7500
if u dont no alredy this is the fastets bike ever build. it will go over 250 mpg
this bike will poop willys in every gear even 7th! yes i addded an extra gear to help with the power.
i have raced hayapoopas and beet them so bad they cry
if you added an 8th gear it will easily go 300 mph !
must sell cuz wife says if i go to fast ill catch on fire, i have already burned 3 jackets !
seerious only you can test ride only if you have big donkey balls witch i will check before you ride it.
This bike is AWESOME!
How could you not want this bike!
This bike will POOP WILLYS! POOP WILLYS, I tell you!!
You can race HAYAPOOPAS with this bike! HAYAPOOPAS!!
I have NO IDEA what I’m talking about!! But I’m SHOUTING! AND SHOUTING IS FUN! YAAAY!
By the way, I’m REALLY hoping that he actually has a giant plastic exercise ball for his burro.
Thanks for the link, John!
Not to mention the free hernia exam with every visit. He’ll throw in a prostate exam if you ask nicely.
Well, I don’t have a prostate, so thanks but no thanks. I do have big donkey balls, though. Do you want to check them? They’re right here in my purse. Don’t go out in the pasture, though. The donkey’s still pretty pissed.
So Sparky has been setting his on clothes on fire so his “wife”* is insisting he sell his willy-pooping bike as punishment? And he’ll only let me take a test drive if I bring him a big donkey-balls witch?
:flips through Yellow Pages:
I don’t even see a listing in here for that. Maybe I should check CraigsList.
*I assume she’s as nonexistent as his grammar.
Found one. You’re welcome.
Sometimes beets give me the poop willys, too, Sparky.
I think he burned more than a few jackets. 8/
250 miles per gallon? That IS fast! My little Ford Focus can only go about 28 miles per gallon, but if I leave the city and get on the Interstate it can get up to 32 miles per gallon, which is a little faster, because there is less traffic congestion.
TC, gallon is not a unit of time. I think the g is supposed to stand for generation. So 250 miles per generation isn’t very fast at all. I think I could walk faster than this bike. I mean, look at the picture, it’s just sitting there.
Tits aside, is it even possible to add gears to a motorcycle? I’m not mechanically inclined so I’m genuinely curious as to how that would work.
That information is available only to people with big donkey —
Wow, I made it to the corner at a speed of 350 hogsheads per milliampere.
I assume one could also add flame decals and fake exhaust pipes for the same effect.
Tits aside, I know you can add gears to a bicycle, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you could do the same with a motorcycle… I just suspect the complexity of the task is a lot greater, particularly if you don’t want things to get stuck or break while the thing is traveling at 250 mpg
Also, someone please tell me what the heck a “hayapoopa” is. Google is absolutely no help.
“Helicopter” maybe?
Hayapoopa, the Great Medicine Man and Motorcycle Mechanic of the lost Donkeyballs tribe of Northern Albania.
I believe he died around 1845 or so…but, I could be off by a year or two.
*laughing so hard I’m cryin’ my jeepers poopers out*
Suzuki Hayabusa 1
Suzuki Hayabusa 2
The Hayapoopa is a Hayabusa…. This is obviously a Joke lol
See? I lernt sumpin!
I hate it when I get beet. You just can’t get those red stains out of clothing.
*considers replacing card punch with beet punch*
And this, boys and girls, is why we ALWAYS wear a helmet.
“…i have already burned 3 jackets !” From road friction, not airspeed. Three strikes and you’re out, and who knows what the frame of the bike is like.
I hate going to fast; I prefer going to restaurants.
Or Sparky Knievel has been having trouble lining up his jumps through the flaming hoops.
Actually, when you hit 81 mph, you get flames AND some serious sh*t.
And then there’s what happens at 88 MPH.
I see. So what does this extra gear look like?
This? po→op
Or this? ad→dded
Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, willys?
I want a bike that will poop rainbows!
That would be the Kawasaki Unicron.
Nicolas Cage must be flat broke again and needing some monies. Come to think of it, 1984 is about the last time he pooped our willys in Raising Arizona.
Wow, sounds like Sparky is bike-sexual.
My son has a 1986 Interceptor but Sparky says his is an Enterceptor. It looks the same but please tell me they’re not the same thing so I don’t have to force my son to sell his for going 250 mpg, which really is dangerously fast. And $7,500 is way overpriced. The ’86 cost $1,600 and there’s not *that* much difference in the value of our dollar and yours.
We no longer use dollars, our economy is now based on the firmness of our oboes and the age of our Crisco.
*places minty shell back in closet*
Sigh…someday…
I can’t stop laughing long enough to come up with any snark.
Tits aside is what Sparky’s wife will have if she rides this bike.
Or, quite possibly, tits astride.
Or even tits akimbo.
Do your tits ‘kimbo?
Do they waggle to and fro?
Can you tie ’em in a knot?
Can you tie ’em in a bow?
Can you throw ’em over your shoulder,
Like a Continential soldier?
Do your tits ‘kimbo?
This is obviously a joke lol
You’re new here, aren’t you?
[jason] This is obviously a joke lol [/jason]
2013…the year new meme’s are born!!!
Sometimes birth is just a breeze!
Big donkey balls aside, I’m going to have to start using that.
Now yer just braggin’ Dave 🙂
Can they be nested? If something is obviously a joke in poor taste, can we use both [Jason] and [Matt]?
I hereby decree that all tags can be nested. Of course, nesting comes naturally to me. 8)
Perhaps Sparky should just bury the bike in the old Delgado Mine. Then write a letter to Lyle Swann in 1875 via Western Union. That will give Lyle 10 years to warn Doc Brown about Mad Dog Tannen. That way Marty won’t have to hit his head again.
Because Nobody wants to see Sparky burn his clothes off.
Which Willys, precisely, will it poop? Because I’d consider Willie Mays, but I would have to decline Willie Nelson. Tits aside, that hair just gives me the, well, you know.
Perhaps it poops Matchbox cars, specifically Willys Jeeps.
Maybe a jeep?
Ahhh, I have a spider in my brain!
:sprays Raid into ears:
[obscure corey]
In the ’30s the American Bantam Car Co. & Willys-Overland Motors submitted designs to answer a War Department contract for a “Truck, ¼ Ton, 4 x 4, General Purpose” vehicle. The Army was dissatisfied with the two entries, despite liking many of the features both possessed. The Bantam design was accepted, but Bantam was unable to produce the numbers needed. Willys-Overland was directed to build the Bantam GP with modifications.
Willys designated this the “MB,” for Military (Model) B. When the 1940 War Production Act was passed, Willy-Overland just did not have the production capacity. Which brought Ford Motor Company into the Mix. They used the War Department’s “GP” designation for their version of the small utility truck. Pronouncing that as GEE-PEE, and a concurrent comic strip character quickly made that “Jeep.”
Willys-Overland became Kaiser-Jeep which was then conglomerated into AMC, which Chrysler bought and divested keeping only the Jeep line.
Not one whit of which as ever settled whether the original company is pronounced “WILL-iss” or “will-EES” or “whulls’ ”
[/corey]
My dad had one, and mom and dad both pronounced it *will-EEZ*
Since I was childhood-indoctrinated with this pronunciation threaded throughout their folklore they insisted on passing down over the years (I never saw said car as this was dad’s first vehicle when they were dating), I was quite surprised when I was positive I had heard it pronounced on a documentary as *WILL-iss*
That is all.
*takes Jason gently by the hand*
Come with me, dear. Let me show you to
the cornerour lounge. It literally overflows with snark, like a newly-poured glass of champagne! Known throughout interwebsland as a comfortable and cheery place, it is full of sociable people, delicious coffee slices, more corners than you can count and interesting artifacts collected over the years from the annals of Craigslist. Most recently, we added a new coffee table. Like much here, it has a backstory that has prompted a meme and it is shiny. Shiny is good!Feel free to spend as much time as you like here!
Not everybody gets to be a meme on their first day! Nice work, Jason. Sit down on one of our oh-so- comfy Snarkaloungers, put on this lion-print snuggie, and hang with us!
Two pieces of advice: beware the TacoThong, and DON’T PET THE PUPPY’S TUMMY!
We seem to running low on dinghos, though. Time to poop over to the store?
My inner 12-year old boy child is ecstatic right now.
Sounds like an interesting place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.
I think those are either rides or rules in Zombieland.
That last one sounds like a menu item in a restaurant I’d never want to visit.
They all do. The hayapoopas come with a 10 gallon drum of nacho cheese.
I think Big Donkey Balls Buffet is located in Tijuana.
¡Todo lo que puedas comer!
For the less motorcycle-aware,
Spark is claiming that the motorcycle will “pop a wheelie.”
Which is to accelerate abruptly to balance on only the rear wheel with the front wheel off the ground.
Further, Spark’ asserts that the bike will do this in all gear settings.
Even asserting that an additional gear has been installed in the gearbox.
This package then being able to out pace (presumably flying) helicopters, and to the point of charring burn-resistant jackets from friction from the airflow.
In all probability Spark’ is 13, perhaps 14.
One does not go and get Timmy-from-down-the-street’s discarded Huffy, and bodge derailleur parts into an enclosed motorcycle transmission, particularly one attached to a rigid driveshaft.
Popping a Wheelie is really a matter of balance and horsepower-to-weight ratios. Most motorcycles are so capable (if possibly under-advised in an ElectraGlide or similar cruising bike).
As to racing a helo, that’s probably more due to back-seat flights of fancy. Ditto for charred bike jackets (leather is used precisely for its resistance to abrasion and charring).
Harumph. Perhaps some coffee will help (that, and the imminent departure of all three of the ‘tweener nephews from the house).
[Jason] “Poop willys” is obviously a joke, lol. Like Hyapoopas. [/Jason].
Ha ha! He said poop! And then he said it again! He’s on my intellectual level!
*points to Digi’s diploma, but is roundly ignored*
Actually, this 1984 Interceptor was stock with only FIVE gears. So….
catmath
Musta bin an 18-speed on Timmy’s bike then <G>
As luck would have it, Big Donkey Balls Witch is my drag name.*
*That’s a lie. It’s actually CíCí Señor, but don’t tell Sparky.
I’m more interested in the witch than the motorcycle. Is she supposed to cast an anti-spontaneous-combustion spell on the rider? Maybe she can make the motorcycle fly instead of just speeding along the ground?
The world may never know.
The gear Sparky added was reverse, which made hime poop on his willys jackets. That is why he had to burn them. Reverse on a two wheeler is not recommended.
Unless you have a sidecar on your two-wheeler, then that Reverse gear is very handy.
Unless you’ve been drinking sidecars, then you shouldn’t be using any gears at all.
I actually downloded a picture of a motorcycle with a sidecar and a snowplow attached from a craigslist ad.
Ah, yes, “1984 Honda Enterceptor” by Poop Willys, for Obo Fastet. Takes some big donkey balls indeed to play that piece.
Young man…. you’ve missed curfew! And a whole bunch of memes….don’t stay away so long next time, m’kay? 🙂
OT and very late but my intertubes were abducticated earlier. ASTRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ghostie, sweetie, darling, I know you’ll understand this when I say Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Hayapoopas!