The 8 suckiest Craigslist ads …
You Suck at Craigslist is devoted to bringing you the very best of the worst of Craigslist ads. Want to see well-written, funny Craigslist ads? Go to the Best of Craigslist page. Want to see the weird, odd, and inexplicable ads? Welcome!
Here’s a small sample of our favorite posts, in order of appearance, from the more than 700 entries on You Suck at Craigslist so far. Enjoy! If you find Craigslist ads that you think are worthy of inclusion, please send them to us at yousuckatcraigslist@gmail.com!
1. YSaC, Vol. CXXIV: The Table
the table
here is picture of table
It’s the zen-like brevity that makes this. I hear the resonance of the universe in this post and in this table. I want to be one with the table. I want to drape myself across the table and join the table in its table-bliss.
After all, it is THE table. It is the UR-table. It is the Platonic ideal of tableness. And all of this comes across in a mere seven words.
I don’t even think the table is actually for sale. I think the table just wanted to share itself with the world.
Submitted by CP — thanks!
2. YSaC, Vol. CXXI: Nacho Ordinary Fountain
****Nacho Cheese Fountain****
Okay, wait. Stop right there. Does this really sound like a good idea to anyone? Those three words should NOT be strung together (in any order) under any circumstances I can think of.
Let’s see how badly this is going to end …
****Nacho Cheese Fountain****
This is still in perfect working order. I bought it for a party a couple years ago, but it has just been collecting dust in my cupboard since. All you do is add cheese to the bottom saucer, plug it in, and wait about 10mins. Your guests will have flowing nacho cheese the whole night. YUMMY!
It’s even worse than I thought. That’s just … wow.
And the phrase “flowing nacho cheese” really didn’t need to enter my consciousness.
3. YSaC, Vol. 291: No, seriously. What. The. Hell.
This post contains eight incredibly bizarre pictures of a NSFW coffee table. No, really. You have been warned.
Bronze Lady Coffee Table – PICTURES
You are looking at a Bronze-Lady coffee table. The table itself is shaped as a naked lady made of bronze material, as seen in the pictures below. Face is covered with tape for protection. Glass is round and 1 inch thick. Overall wieght is 200 pounds. This piece is in excellent condition with no broken pieces. Looking for BEST OFFER OVER $1,500
For questions and inquiries about the price email me here: xxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Oh, I have questions, all right. How much time do you have? Because I have questions.
- First of all — what the hell?
- Why are there bottles of nail polish, a TV remote, some kind of videogame controller, and what looks like a jar of Noxema near this naked bronze lady’s ass?
- OMG, and an open container of vaseline. No really, look at picture 3. (Click on the picture for a larger version.)
- While you’re looking at picture 3, please notice that the bronze lady is wearing a black sock — and WTF is the reflection of the face just above her foot?
- Picture #4 — now I know what the view looks like when you’re giving someone a brazilian wax.
- What is that thing on her stomach?
- Picture #6 — WHY IS HER FACE COVERED IN TAPE? That’s really disturbing.
- Picture #7 — you couldn’t have cleared the crap off the table before taking pictures, could you? At least wipe up the cocaine residue, for heaven’s sake.
- No, really — what the hell?
Thanks for the nightmares, Kerrin.
4. YSaC, Vol. 308: Let me tell ya about the birds and the …
selling ford truck – $1200
$1200 obo this has been a good truck for me but i have to sell it because i cant ever get to it with all of the bees around it they have been in and around it for almost 2 months now and i havent been able to get near 5 feet or else i get stung and im sick of it i still have welts from months ago stingings and i cant even get to work because i cant get to my truck so i have to sell it test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you too many bees
Sara and Geoff both sent this one in. Sara points out that apparently bee stings cause a lack of punctuation.
I really … just … wow. If anyone has always wanted a truck that has had thousands of bees living in it for months, here’s your opportunity.
Loved that nacho cheese fountain. If I was getting married, I’d register on Craig’s List.
Honestly, I would be all over that truck. Being the nature-lover that I am, I think a bottle of bee/wasp spray and a good bee-proof outfit would provide pretty much hours of entertainment. Or maybe just . . erect a really big tent around it and set off a bomb, or make a fire and smoke them to sleep, then let the dog eat them? I don’t know, but this guy’s creative genius is equal to his bravery and mad grammar skills.