YSaC, Vol. 1588: With many cheerful facts about Guido Willoughby Cujo
Sung to the tune of Tom Lehrer’s “The Elements,” which in turn is to the tune of “A Modern Major General” by Gilbert and Sullivan:
Sunny Liza Robin Ariel Adelaide Rayna Kosmic Selina Leera Darlin – 24
Zatch Pooh Hercules Rover Duncan Pirate Houdini Coon Matrix Guido Willoughby Cujo Fairbanks Hailey Wrangler Amos Raider Noah Crankshaft Curly Gus Mason Freckles Icky Ignatius Aaron Majestic Parker Andre Duke Porter Elvis Archer Fallon Baldy Rooney Kaz Beasley Figaro Attila Rasta Kane Kilo Dudley Cisco Archie Gordy BubbaRusty Moe Armageddon Excalibur
Furball Buckeye Jorge Keeper Kito Howler Kutta Zeebo Rex Judge Zeek
(Chorus)
Furball Buckey Jorge Keeper Kito Howler Jutta Zeebo Rex Judge Zeek
Furball Buckey Jorge Keeper Kito Howler Jutta Zeebo Rex Judge Zeek
Furball Buckey Jorge Keeper Kito Howler Jutta Zeebo Rex Judge Zeek Judge Zeek Judge Zeek!
(In case you were wondering, this was posted in w4m)
Thanks for the post, Mike!
I know everyone, man
I know everyone, man
Some I think are fun, man
Others carry guns, man
Met everyone under the sun, man
I know everyone.
I know Zatch Pooh Hercules Rover Duncan Pirate Houdini Coon Matrix Guido Willoughby Cujo Fairbanks Hailey Wrangler Amos Raider Noah Crankshaft Curly Gus Mason Freckles Icky Ignatius Aaron Majestic Ona stick.
I know everyone, man
I know everyone, man
Some I think are fun, man
Others carry guns, man
Met everyone under the sun, man
I know everyone.
I know Parker Andre Duke Porter Elvis Archer Fallon Baldy Rooney Kaz Beasley Figaro Attila Rasta Kane Kilo Dudley Cisco Archie Gordy BubbaRusty Moe Armageddon Excalibur
Furball Buckeye Jorge Keeper Kito Howler Kutta Zeebo Rex Judge Zeek Take a peek.
I know everyone, man
I know everyone, man
Some I think are fun, man
Others carry guns, man
Met everyone under the sun, man
I know everyone.
Excellent earworm.
Yeah? Well, a little farther down, someone is going to RRRIIIP that thing right outa there for ya.
It’s hell signing checks, I’ll bet.
Imagine my ordeal calling roll on the first day of school!!!!!!!
I don’t like any of the new Pokemon.
Poor girl’s monogram must look like an eye chart.
A trendy suburb somewhere is having its first royal baptism.
“Freckles Icky?”
I am offended, and confine Sparky to a period of detention in the ‘Coon Matrix, picking up garbage contaminated with Zatch Pooh.
Freckles awesome! (Sunlight bad.)
Stripper names can definitely be both bizarre and plentiful. Savvy?
Regards,
Duncan Pirate
Oh, that Judge Zeek! He’s such a character, and he puts those trailer trash chickens in their places. I watch him every day.
I’m gonna be charitable and assume the Sparkettes clubbed together to get the one of them who could type to put a group ad up for all the guys they collectively fancied.
What? The category means ‘women seeking men’, right?
A little bit of Matrix in my life
A little bit of Elvis by my side
A little bit of Judge Zeek’s all I need
A little bit of Crankshaft’s what I see
A little bit of Freckles in the sun
A little bit of Kosmic all night long
A little bit of Houdini, here I am
A little bit of you makes me your spam!
Mambo number 24…
I want to know how Sparks got a COMPLETE list of my former lovers from the eighties??? There was one on there that even I had forgotten…..(sigh!) Those were good times….good times…..and not one trailer-trash chicken in the bunch, Windy!
Let me guess, it was Andre “the Giant” Duke who slipped your mind, right?
Oh, O.K.,…..two I’d forgotten……
Rasta Kane is IF’s the Killer’s reggae cover band.
*happy Trees*
Once again, I’d pay good vintage cereal to see this band! Will they be touring with Swedish Rodents and the Submarine Spam?
Pooh Hercules is so much better than regular Hercules.
Pooh Hercules prefers honey in his Greek yogurt.
I have to admit “BubbaRusty” is one of the more evocative nicknames I’ve come across. One can just picture the debris in his front yard.
I see a propane tank and a row boat and a swing set with a bedazzler hanging on it.
Oh, no – the bedazzler goes on the table made from an old cable spool, the gutted deer is hung on the swingset.
Noah Crankshaft was an old guy who drove a school bus filled with two of every animal.
Sounds like a porn name for sure!
Furball! FURBALL!? What is sparkette doing stalking my cat!? I’ve got to get the bottom of this!
Pirate Houdini is the name of my traveling gypsy magic and swordsmanship show.
Ooooo! Where can I buy tickets?
“Moe Armageddon” sounds like a Three Stooges short where they have to stop a giant asteroid from hitting the earth.
I can just imagine Moe bopping the other two on the head with the explosive devices they’re supposed to be planting to blow it up.
Curly: “Armageddon? Armageddon outta here! WOOO-woowoowoowoowoo!”
“Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!”
Why For, Em?
‘Tis it nobler to suffer slings & arrows
Of outrageous Pirate Houdini,
Or to take up furrball against the Zeke?
Whether tis nobler to flee the flying monkeys
And fling houses upon wicked Wendies,
Thier stripe-ed hose offending the West.
No, pay no attention to the Pollonius
Behind the curtain, lest Ophelia’s madness
O’ercome the twenty-four (obo)
To sweep, perchance to meld platonic casual encounters
Thus, in furies and laments
To rawr and rumour of rawr.
[exeunt]
‘Tis sheer poetry, O Cap’n. Reminds me of William Shakespeare’s Star Wars.
Tyfani was having such a hard time choosing a name for her baby. It was the 8th month already, and all she had was a repurposed chicken tractor that she could use as a playpen and an old deer hanger that she thought would serve as a swing when babby got a little older. She just couldn’t possibly think of a name for babby alone. She finally hit on a solution. She decided she’d post the names of all of the guys she met at the last annual Lacawates Valtrus Suka, any of which could be the father, and the first one to respond would give his middle name to babby. Bad at math as she was though, she didn’t realize none of those men were the father because the Lacawates Valtrus Suka was 10 months ago, not 8. No, the event 8 months ago was her participation in a test of a recent social anxiety medication. It is there that she met preeiminent physicist, chemist, and psychologist Dr. Joseph Ballard, who suffered from a crippling timidity toward women. Even though the couple hit it off very well after Dr. Ballard’s first dose, he retreated back into his shell after the study was concluded and he discontinued the treatment. Tyfani never got a response to her craigslist ad, so she just chose two of the names at random.
These are the events that led to Tyfani naming her child Pirate Freckles Stargazer. Pirate always felt out of place and firmly believed his father could not possibly be somebody he and his mom met at the annual Lacawates Valtrus Suka. At the age of 10 after finishing his high school diploma and half of a Bachelor’s Degree in physics, Pirate decided to try finding his real dad. Just after turning 16 and finishing his first PhD, Pirate finally met Dr. Joseph Ballard. Finally feeling like he met the source of his mental acuity, Dr. Stargazer decided to follow in Dr. Ballard’s footsteps.
That is the story of how the pantheon of mental geniuses the like of Leonardo da Vinci, Nikola Tesla, Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, and Dr. Joseph Ballard gained a person known not so much for his visionary, groundbreaking work in astrophysics as for his unfortunate name, Dr. Pirate Freckles Stargazer Ballard.
Ah, but when it comes to goofy, long names, who can forget Johann Gambolputty… de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
I’m… I’m not sure if I need more coffee or I’ve already had too much. I want this to be a secret code, like there’s some sort of CraigsList spies out there communicating with each other. Maybe I just want this to have some sort of meaning. Somehow. All those capital letters are just begging to be used…
SLRAARKSLD. Hm. I don’t speak IKEA, maybe it needs more work. SLR is a kind of camera, right? And AA is either batteries or a recovery program…
Better get more coffee.
If this was posted in w4m, I assume that Sunny Darlin is a 24-year old crazy cat lady, naming all her cats that she will bring on a date for those who like lots of pussy.
Seems to me she just named her newly acquired tons of baby mystery snails – about 60 or so.
I knew Cujo Fairbanks. Cujo Fairbanks was a friend of mine. And you, sir, are no Cujo Fairbanks.
P-Rex: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m Phidippus Rex.
Z-Rex: And I’m Zeebo Rex.
P&Z: No relation. Welcome to the show.
Just realized….Sparkery forgot Dino, Desi and Billy…..can you imagine??? oh, by the way
GET ME OUTA DIS BOXXXX!!!!!!!!
Sheesh, you sleep in one morning and the natives get all snarky! nojazzy, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning All of the Above!
NOTE: The Web Bosses are experiencing Technical Difficulties. Today’s post will be up as soon as possible. Please do not trash the lounge in your frustration. Thank You.