YSaC, Vol. 1606: Kissing cushions
2013 September 27
Loveseat hideabed needs refurbished. Free if picked up
This was a great piece of furniture but storage and my dog have made it expendable. Needs a new cousin and cover. Includes mattress. Could be great with some work. Can also call or text ###-###-####
It needs a new cousin? I wasn’t aware that couches had family members. Well, OK, I’m game – I guess we need to convince this couch’s mother’s sister to have another baby couch so it can have a new cousin.
Still, for my money, the most impressive thing about this couch is that it actually has the ability to place phone calls and send text messages.
Thanks for the post, Jason!
*looks at phone bill*
*looks at furniture*
I guess that explains all the calls to Sweden. They don’t tell you that at IKEA, do they?
The other Sparky got rid of the sofa with the integrated stereo because it kept calling its friends instead of doing its share of the housekeeping.
I think I would hide abed if someone offered me this flea bag of a dog gnawed couch.
Dog Gnawed Couch is my Three Dog Night Tribute Band! 8)
That’s what they say about those houses that the seller’s agent won’t let you enter until you sign a waiver.
Notice the bike lurking in the background? What is it about couches on CL?…there always seems to be a bike around. And the bike always appears to be more comfortable than the couch itself. Makes one wonder, doesn’t it? ….No? ….oh well, it’s Friday, and Msolwe is going to be out…..it’ll be like a vacation day in our class. Catch you on the flip-side!!!!!!
Operating a wood chipper definitely qualifies as “work.”
Reminds me of when I was looking for a new place. There was a big Victorian in my price range. The catch was that the second floor… had no floor. You could walk up the stairs to the bathroom and fall off the toilet into the livingroom below. “Needs some work” indeed. (I passed on that place)
No, see, this isn’t the sort of thing you advertise on CraigsList. You put it on your curb with a sign that reads, “Awesome couch – Priceless family heirloom – Please do not steal.” Then you sit back and let reverse psychology do its thing.
I have a cousin in England it can have. No really; I’m serious. It can have her; I’ve been ashamed to be related to her for a very long time.
Now, that’s no way to talk about the PM.
Who is–as the wags put it so well–is the best PM named David Cameron ever.
Which part of England, GG? I’d like to avoid her if she’s that bad.
Marazion, Cornwall.
I’m thinking maybe it’s the sofa-eating dog you need to get rid of. Or, perhaps, get it a cousin so that it won’t be hanging around the house scarfing down the furniture because it doesn’t have anything better to do.
[sleeper-furniture corey]
Having slept on too many of these creations, all too few of then follow basic design rules for furniture.
This one has the particular Fail of being too tall. This doubly so for being a twin. One will want for a step stool to clamber in; and it’s rather a long drop if one roll off this rack–especially upon the teething dog.
[\corey]
Also channelling Corey here but this is not too tall, it’s too high. Vertical things are tall; horizontal things are high. Ergo, tall walls, high ceilings. Tall chair-backs, high seats. Corey out!
So, I’m tall when I stand up, but if I lie down I get high. That must be why sleep feels so good.
I wish getting high was that easy OMV!
That probably explains why I get the munchies whenever I lie down on the couch to watch TV.
I may be high, but my first thought upon looking at the second photo was not “bed”, but “ironing board”. Which makes me wonder why there are no loveseats that fold out into ironing boards, or sofas that convert into desks, or armchair/armoires. I’ll have to get my cousin right on that.
Mine was a fold out table, but I didn’t have my glasses on at the time.
Wahl, I already got me a cousin, but I never slept on ‘er, honest. We was jes’ kissin’.
You know, re”furb”ishing “fur”niture is how Furby’s are made. So be responsible, have your furniture splayed or nuttered.
This is a good argument for using the locking feature on my smart phone. I thought I just lost my phone in my sofa hide-a-bed. When all along, my couch was pickpocketing me. I have a sofa hide-a-phone hide-a-bed. Although, it might be a sofa hide-a-keys hide-a-remote hide-a-loose change hide-a-pop tart hide-a-snake hide-a-phone hide-a-bed. Why would anybody build these features into furniture?
That’s what you think, but in order to pick it up, you have to buy the couch a bunch of drinks, then when you get it home, you have to fumigate and refurbish it (upholster? I hardly knew ‘er) and next thing you know it’s all, “you never give me any cousins.”
This reminds me of when I was about 7 years old. I was sleeping on the top bunk of a bunk bed and I was having a dream that I was falling. I just kept falling and falling…then I woke up about 4 inches off the floor. I sized up my predicament, looking at the floor, wondering why it was right in front of my face, when I realized…THUNK! I fell out of bed. Well, being only 4 inches off the floor at the time, I wasn’t hurt. I’m sure it would have hurt more if I woke up closer to the top of the bunk. I tried to replicate the dream to see if I could wake up earlier to see if it would hurt more, but I was really trying to experience that hovering over the floor bit. For some reason, I started dreaming about girls instead. I never got the hovering thing back.
Women change your life. See? If it wasn’t for you women, I could be hovering!
I too rolled out of the top bunk of a bunk bed at the age of seven. Only my collarbone caught on the top of the ladder as I went over the edge. My Mom put me back in bed after cleaning up (apparently I exhibited reverse peristalsis.) When I woke in the morning I didn’t remember a thing but my arm and shoulder were hurting real bad. My Mom took me to the hospital. I had broken my collarbone, almost breaking through the skin. That is how I learned left from right, it was my right collarbone that I broke. Never thought of trying to hover, wish I had known one could do that.
I used to have dreams that I could run without touching the ground, which I suppose is a form of hovering. This is the only form of running I have ever enjoyed, and I have always been sorely disappointed that I can’t do it in real life.
The flying in my dreams is mostly hovering and gliding. I jump up, and with both feet off the ground, hug my knees to my chest, and off I go. To slow down I’d lower a foot, but if I touched the ground I couldn’t fly again for the rest of the dream. As a kid, I kept trying to do it in real life, but it never worked. Darn you, gravity.
Clearly its ratings are sagging as the kids are getting older.
You don’t use my mattress
You don’t keep me covered
You don’t bring me cousins…anymore.
-B.S.
Edit: Hmm, I was supposed to be nesting with Tankerbell’s comment.
Good god! This is America, people!!!! We throw EVERYTHING away!!
(Apparently, except for this couch shit.)
You know what this couchbed needs to fix it right up? More hot ninja sex, an eight track, and a self loathing cat mummy. Problem solved!
…and a Not.A.Lion rug…..
Here’s a new cousin to match the others.
C””J, thank you for taking advantage of our Extended Stay Box offer! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Dog Gnawed It!