YSaC, Vol. 1648: Velour Goldmine

2014 January 6

free gold mine!!!!!!



FREE TO MANY THINGS TO POST ALL.PLANTS PICTURE FRAMS TVS TABLES BEDS CLEANING STUFF VASES RADIO FLAG BIKES HURRY FAST!!!! what ever is on or near the porch is free. please hurry fast!

I’m a bit puzzled on the urgency here. Do you think there’s REALLY a critical time limit on excavating whatever particular piece of crap you’re interested in from this particular “gold mine?”  Is there an imminent risk of cave-in?  Will a mob of zombies appear in twenty minutes if I don’t build a shelter?

Or has Sparky here just been snorting Pixi Sticks?

Still, I could use a good picture fram.  Maybe I better hustle.

Thanks for the post, Jason!

33 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 January 6
    CapnMac permalink

    I’m voting for home-made pixie-stiks.

    Particularly if the, ahem, shafts or adits of this excavation include a FRAM.

    Admittedly, Spark’ may be referring to an entire line of motor-vehicle accessories rather than a 2700 ton destroyer having undergone a Force Revitalization And Modernization. Even though that latter was used to free many things.

    An now, I must away into the ugliness which is Monday, exacerbated by Minnesota-levels of non-seasonal cold.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 January 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Grandpa was a NAPA man, I’ll pass on the FRAM.

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 January 6
        P-Rex permalink

        NAPA = Never A Part Available.
        FRAM = Forget Repairs Any More.

        Adores: 2
  2. 2014 January 6
    Crossfire905 permalink

    SOMEBODY wants to clear someone else’s crap out of the house before they come home from the bar completely plastered again.

    That’s my guess. 😀

    Adores: 3
  3. 2014 January 6
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    I see these items are free to many. Will I be able to get the moldy items I desire or will I be forced to fight ravenous crowds of consumerist mad zombies in an epic battle of power and strength? If that’s the case, I’ll need to find someone to trade my gently used cloth diapers for a chainsaw and a machete first. BRB.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2014 January 6

    Isn’t Free to Many Things IF’s Lynyrd Skynyrd/The Things mash-up band?

    Adores: 3
  5. 2014 January 6
    nojazzhere permalink

    ….”please hurry fast!”…..estranged wife is coming to pick up the rest of her stuff…..she can have the crap, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let her have the good stuff….

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 January 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      alternatively: “the housing authority said they’d be back this afternoon with a condemnation notice…”

      Adores: 3
  6. 2014 January 6
    Bombdude permalink

    please hurry fast!

    As opposed to hurrying some other way?

    Adores: 8
  7. 2014 January 6
    kelli permalink

    If whatever is on or near the porch is free, does that mean I can take the house? It’s very near the porch.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 January 7
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      Good news! Most trailers are on wheels so it will be easy to drag away!

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 January 7
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Hey! Don’t be dragging my home away.

        Adores: 1
  8. 2014 January 6
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Velour Goldmine is my Bee Gees cover band.

    Adores: 7
  9. 2014 January 6
    Ralph permalink

    Tits aside, in an old gold mine buried somewhere under the immanent fram and the hurry fast are probably tons of toxic waste. You need to do at least a Phase One Environmental Assessment under CERCLA to avoid liability if this becomes a Superfund site. This hustle could cost you plenty if you don’t.

    There’s always a catch when you get involved in surreal estate.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 January 6
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      Surreal Estate is the name of my Blue Man Group/Sunny Day Real Estate mashup band.

      Adores: 1
  10. 2014 January 6
    One Moving Violation permalink

    free gold mine!!!!!!

    I bet all you really get is the shaft.

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 January 6
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      Just the tip.

      Adores: 5
      • 2014 January 6
        nojazzhere permalink

        MissMommy…which do you recommend….15 or 20% ?

        Adores: 4
        • 2014 January 6
          MissMommyNiceNice permalink

          18.5

          Adores: 1
  11. 2014 January 6
    One Moving Violation permalink

    FREE TO MANY THINGS

    Free to POST.
    Free to PLANTS.
    Free to PICTURE.
    Free to FRAMES. (okay, so I corrected the spelling on this one)
    Free to TVS. (huh? what?)
    Free to TABLES.
    Free to BEDS.
    Free to CLEANING.
    Free to STUFF.(stuff what stuff where?)
    Free to VASES. (can vases be used as a verb?)”She vases all of the time. Yesterday, she vased her aluminum plant.”
    Free to RADIO. (oh sure, I radio every day)
    Free to FLAG.
    Free to BIKES.(I’ve never biked on more than one bike at a time)
    Free to HURRY.
    Free to FAST.

    I can understand why this was posted on YSaC. Not much of this makes sense. Besides, THINGS are nouns, not verbs. Although verbs are things.
    Okay, now I’m confused.

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 January 6
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      The time has come, ol’ Sparky said,
      To free to many things,
      To tables, beds and cleaning stuff,
      To cabbages and kings,
      And why we have to hurry fast,
      And whether frams have frings.

      Adores: 7
  12. 2014 January 6
    CapnMac permalink

    I’ve seen Treasure of the Sierra Madre, and this is no gold mine.
    Stinking badgers, maybe . . .

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 January 6
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      In that case, never mind. We don’t need no stinking badgers.

      Adores: 2
  13. 2014 January 6
    Katimomkat permalink

    It has been said that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” I think in this case, one man’s “treasure” is just a pile of crap!

    Adores: 1
  14. 2014 January 6

    There are two words missing from the title.

    “[The] free gold [is] mine!!!!!!”

    Fixed it for you.

    Adores: 5
  15. 2014 January 6
    SilvaNoir permalink

    This looks like the haunted basement in Paranormal Activity 2. So are the demonic ghosts free too? Is that why you have to hurry fast? Before you are dragged screaming down the stairs or are possessed?

    Adores: 2
  16. 2014 January 7

    I want to apologize for my failure to update the box lately. I will get to it. Really. 8)

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 January 7
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      That’s it, you’re fired!

      Oh, wait, can you fire volunteers?

      Adores: 2
    • 2014 January 7
      nojazzhere permalink

      Windy…don’t apologize….just say you were hurrying (fast) to get to Sparky’s gold mine (on or near the porch) before all the good (sic) stuff was gone….no one would fault you for that….

      Adores: 4
      • 2014 January 7

        But Jazzy, no one would believe it!

        Let me have my fantasy that no one at YSaC thinks I would fall for a Sparky ad, okay?

        Adores: 0
  17. 2014 January 7

    What else am I forgetting? Wow, look at all the dust on the Punch-o-Matic! Hmmm. . .
    TC and ghostcat, stand over here, please. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Day, Niners!

    Adores: 1

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