YSaC, Vol. 1653: Not exactly what the doctor prescribed

2014 January 17

Have you always said to yourself, “Self, I would like to have a full time job that does not actually pay any money?” Of course not – full time is for WIMPS! You want a twenty-four hour a day job that doesn’t pay any money:

Live In Nanny

Looking For Live In Nanny(Female Only! Age 21-40 In Great/Good Health) This Job Is 24 Hours But Your Schedule Would 5:30am-7:30pm Mon-Fri then 8:00am-4:00pm Sat-Sun But Your Have to Live here Because We Are Full Time Students At #### and we Don’t Have Money To Pay But If You Do Some House Keeping We Will Give Sum Money To For You To Do Things Like On The Weekend But Your Living Here Getting Free Room, Food, Cable, Internet, Etc. Please Only Persons Interest. Please Understand This Job Doesn’t Pay For Nanny (Only Live In Nannies) This Position Is For Female ONLY! We Will NOT Take Or Talk To Any Males Wanting This Position. Please Feel To Contract Thomas Or Alison
NO Smokers or Druggie. you will be require to have a drug test and background check

Except that it ISN’T 24 hours I day, it’s just 5:30-7:30 during the week and 8-4 on weekends. Unless that adds up to 24 hours. I can’t tell, the capital letters are eating my brain.

Thanks for the wonderful opportunity, Melanie!

21 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 January 17

    D0n’t tell me; let me guess. Thomas is an English major, and Alison is studying to become a labor lawyer. You think not?

    Adores: 2
  2. 2014 January 17
    meeshybee permalink

    This isn’t an ad for a nanny, this is an ad for a Mom. They want a Mom.

    Adores: 12
    • 2014 January 17
      nojazzhere permalink

      You notice there’s no mention of a child or childs…I think they’re looking for a menage a trois/submissive. Good luck with that Sparky!!!

      …(background check??…is THAT what the kids are calling it these days???)

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 January 17
      zoe permalink

      My first thought was a couple of middle schoolers who were sick of eating leftover pizza again because their divorced dad is going through a mid-life crisis and they thought they could kill two birds with one CL ad (mom for them – playmate for dad). They’re even willing to chip in some of their allowance if it gets them out a few chores.

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 January 17

      “Look, Thomas. We just got the new catalog from Stepford Industries.”

      “Oh, hi, Alison. I didn’t hear you come in. What have they got for moms?”

      Adores: 5
  3. 2014 January 17
    Moe permalink

    Slave wanted…..

    Adores: 4
  4. 2014 January 17
    One Moving Violation permalink

    They have food, cable, internet, etc. That is why they have no money to pay for a nanny. Because you know… etc. That’s the most expensive thing on the list.

    Adores: 3
  5. 2014 January 17

    You say no males, but what if the female nanny hangs around with a chimney sweep? Is that still okay?

    Adores: 9
  6. 2014 January 17
    camille permalink

    We’ll give you money to do things on the weekends, which is to say after 4 p.m. on the weekends, when you will totally have the energy to go out and do lots of stuff after your 82 hour work week.

    Adores: 3
  7. 2014 January 17
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Live in Nanny!
    Cash for things you like to do…
    Live in Nanny!
    But we can’t really pay you
    Live in Nanny!
    Female only, drug test too
    Live in Nanny, Live in Nanny, Live in Nanny!

    Live in Nanny!
    Room and board and some TV!
    Live in Nanny!
    And we’ll get to test your pee!
    Live in Nanny!
    Last one’s sure not in that shallow grave…
    Live in Nanny, Live in Nanny, Live in Nanny!

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 January 18
      windrose permalink

      I have a feeling they will get a pregnancy test at the dollar store and call it good.

      Adores: 1
  8. 2014 January 17
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Looking For Live In Nanny(Female Only!

    Well duh! If it was male he’d be called a Billy.

    Adores: 9
  9. 2014 January 17
    CapnMac permalink

    Once again, we see that CL “effect” where the blatantly illegal can be demanded without repercussion nor second thought.

    Now, were it Tammy & Allison, it might be less discriminatory to require a distaff employee.

    However, that 86 hour week without compensation (beyond room & board) would run afoul of most labor laws.

    As does requiring a fully healthy employee. Which, if this is a US CL posting, then brings up the issue of AHA compliance to go with ADA & EEOC compliance.

    What this rather sounds like to me is Tommie & Allie had them a baby–for whatever reason or reasons–and have now discovered that children are work. Further, that orphanaria do not have a kennel/boarding scheme for inconvenient urchins.

    Just imagine their disappointment should anyone answer this ad to find out that drug testing is not free, and someone has to pay for the test.

    Sadly, there probably is a market for some entrepreneur to make a business out of creating a creche to raise “trophy children” who can be trotted out for holidays and similar occasions.

    Adores: 3
  10. 2014 January 17
    mudslicker permalink

    I hate people who write with the CAPS/lower case format.

    That is all.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 January 17
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I’ve seen worse. All lowercase, no punctuation, font color in neon or a pale color on a pale color background. (aka how NOT to get me to read your artist profile or blog posts)

      Adores: 1
  11. 2014 January 17
    Paul permalink

    If you want this choice position
    Have a cheery disposition
    Rosy cheeks, no warts!
    Play games, all sort

    Adores: 3
  12. 2014 January 17
    Ralph permalink

    I know a nanny in good health who would love to live in and get free room and board. She eats almost anything and is very good with kids, but is no longer milking. The downside is that she is not housebroken, but Thomas and Alison did not specify that as a requirement.

    You would have to check with her vet to see if she has been immunized against Capitalitis.

    Adores: 6
  13. 2014 January 17
    SilvaNoir permalink

    I’ve found the perfect match for them! one Nana, requires no money, just the occasional bit of kibble and a dish of water

    Adores: 2
  14. 2014 January 19
    windrose permalink

    Yikes! Lock up the Snark Lounge! Hide all the gerberts! We’s been hackerated! or something.


    Adores: 1
    • 2014 January 19
      SilvaNoir permalink

      ads they “found” but don’t say where they found it. very classy.

      Adores: 0

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