YSaC, Vol. 1732: Art for crap’s sake.

2014 July 21

Need someone to change a wedding photo a little…

for 10 bucks I just need someone to do a semi-convincing photo shop of a wedding photo. It is a pic of them cutting a cake. I need it to look like they are cutting an animal for some sort of sacrifice or something and the faces need to be blurred out like it would be on the show COPS. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just pretty good. I can easily do it in something like MSPAINT but…c’mon…it would be crap.

Payment is via paypal. I’ll shoot it over. You can invoice me if you are a professional

Full subscription to Photoshop CC 2014: $49/month
High end photo editing workstation: $10,000
4 years of art school: $150,000

Ability to help Sparky here mangle someone’s wedding photo? Priceless.

No, literally priceless. As in, probably no one will do this for any price.

Have fun with MS Paint there, Sparky.

Thanks for the post, Lisa!

16 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 July 21
    Ralph permalink

    If Sparky ends up doing it himself in MS Paint, here’s a cake he can paste in.

    And it’s only one buck.

    Adores: 3
  2. 2014 July 21
    CapnMac permalink

    In my decades of graphic experience, there is no job so great in expanse than one only needing “a little change.”

    See, spark will want the beach scene replaced with some sort of gritty netherwolrd (or, perhaps, a crime scene lifted from COPS). The lighting will have to be all reworked after that, too. Then, the entire palette, and the histograms for same.

    Oh, and can we “de-blur” the happy couple so that all who know them will recognize them. Or perhaps just half the couple, the hateful one who wed the creature from Perdition. Oh, and can we animate the scene some, and remove some of the clothing?

    I’m going to guess that Spark’ would balk at my $200 consultation fee to just look at the source for the trainwreck to be.

    So, good luck with that amateur you’re going to stiff for feees, there, Spark’–you are likely going to get exactly what you paid for.

    Adores: 3
  3. 2014 July 21
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Wouldn’t it be easier to photoshop the wedding couples faces onto the scene Sparky wants? Then blur their faces?

    Adores: 1
  4. 2014 July 21

    Thanks to Photoshop,
    Kitty gets the chop.
    Sanity ceases to be.
    For you wake one day,
    See that pic and say:
    Someone touched in the head married me.

    Adores: 1
  5. 2014 July 21
    Yancy permalink

    It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just pretty good.

    For $10, I don’t think you’re getting either one.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 July 21
      ArtsyComputerGeek permalink

      I really think that you could get crap for $10 if you really tried.

      Adores: 1
  6. 2014 July 21

    I need someone to Photoshop Johnny Depp into my wedding picture. 😉

    ps – if Mr. Depp finds this objectionable, I’ll settle for Idris Elba.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 July 21

      Do you think Chris Hemsworth would be Thor if I photoshopped him into my wedding photos?

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 July 21
        kelli permalink

        The real question is “would Cthulhu notice?”

        Adores: 4
        • 2014 July 21

          kelli, I don’t mind it he stays in the picture. 8)

          Adores: 1
  7. 2014 July 21
    HamCan permalink

    I’m sure I saw this on Netflix…”Little photo shop of horrors”

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 July 21
      nojazzhere permalink

      May I summarize?…you would like an accomplished professional photographer to spend several hours changing a wedding photo “a little”…. offer him $10 for the job….and then expect him to invoice you for payment that you may or may not remit…?.nope, can’t see a downside…. and they get something to put in their professional portfolio….who could pass that up????

      Adores: 1
  8. 2014 July 21
    kelli permalink

    Ten whole dollars! Golly gee, mister, you sure you can afford to spend so much?

    Adores: 4
  9. 2014 July 21
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Hey little Sparky, whatchu want done?
    Hey little Sparky, who’s the clueless one?
    Hey little Sparky, where’s your Photoshop?
    Hey little Sparky, where’s the cat to chop?
    Hey little Sparky, pay up!!!!

    It’s a nice day for a red wedding
    It’s a nice day to blur a face
    It’s a nice day to add clip art
    It’s a nice day to (oops)… start again!

    Adores: 4
  10. 2014 July 21

    Hey little Ducky, what have you done?
    Hey little Ducky thanks for the EAR WORM!!

    Adores: 1
  11. 2014 July 22

    Let me review my to-do list.

    Make silly posts — Check.

    Respond to other posts — Check.

    Sweep out The Box — Check.

    Reload The Box — Check.

    Line up and punch out the last occupants of The Box — Ch– Wha? Uh. Oh.

    Hammy! C””J! One! Hammy again! camille! Ralph! One again! Punchity Punch Punch!


    Adores: 1

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