You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 242: Next, we take blankets away from the homeless.

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drmk

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Will trade food for fruit tree or bush

My husband and I bought 2 bags of food for the food bank and drove around looking for it for an hour, finally found it and it was closed. I figure there is somebody out there who likes soups, spongebob macaroni and cheese and various other instant foods. If you have a fruit tree that you are looking to get rid of or a blueberry bush with an established root stock then let’s swap!

So let me get this right …. you bought food that you planned to donate, and now just because the food bank was closed, you want to trade the food that you planned to donate for a fruit tree or blueberry bush.

In other words, you now want to get something for the food that you had initially planned to give away to the needy. That’s mighty philanthropic of you.

And, on top of it, you’re offering to trade that needy someone some instant foods (that they will use up) in exchange for a fruiting plant/bush that will continue to produce food. That doesn’t sound like a good trade to me. If you offered me a choice between Spongebob macaroni and a blueberry bush, I know which one I would take.

Thanks, Alyssa! That’s two in a row!

Comments

32 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 242: Next, we take blankets away from the homeless.”

  1. PrincessLuceval Avatar
    PrincessLuceval

    Ed: Dang, I can’t find that food bank anywhere!
    Mabel: And we have all this nice prepackaged instant food in the bag, that has an indefinite shelf life.
    Ed: Where is that place? I’m getting pissed, they’re really missing out on this food that will last forever, so if we actually look the place up and try again tomorrow, we could find it.
    Mabel: Well, it’s their loss. Let’s go home and see if we can trade it for a blueberry bush.

  2. gas station bathroom Avatar
    gas station bathroom

    I’d take SpongeBob macaroni over a blueberry bush.

    Now a strawberry bush on the other hand…

    1. Not-a-[censored] Lion Avatar
      Not-a-[censored] Lion

      Spongebob Macaroni is probably way to salty. I mean, like, he lives in the ocean. Duh!

  3. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    I just want to know where Alyssa lives so I never even visit that area. I’m not sure I’m impressed with her neighbors! 😉

  4. Cass Avatar
    Cass

    Um, it also sounds like they are looking for a fruit tree, or sexual favors to me.
    Wrong. Just wrong.

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      Yes, well, fruit trees need to be trimmed every year. Fruit bearing bushes should also be trimmed. Nobody wants to look at an unkempt bush, no matter how established the roots are.

  5. Jane Avatar
    Jane

    Did the food bank close, you know, forever? Or did they decide to teach it a lesson for hiding so well and then closing on them, rather than simply going back another day?

  6. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Seriously, established fruit trees that are bearing fruit can cost one to a few hundred dollars (or less plus years of pruning and care). Yeah, I’m going to trade that for 2 bags of crappy food. Particularly when we can see the four horsemen of the apocalypse coming over the hill there.

    1. SilvaNoir Avatar
      SilvaNoir

      Yeah. A blueberry bush you can pick up for fairly cheap, same with a grape vine, but a fruit tree? I haven’t seen any around here for much less than $100

      I think it would be more reasonable if Sparkette asked to pick a bag full of fruit from someone’s yard in exchange for the pasta and canned goods instead of taking the whole plant.

  7. Jerod Poore Avatar
    Jerod Poore

    Perhaps she’s looking for someone who purchased a blueberry bush only to find they have nowhere to plant it. That way she’s /helping/ them, by trading edible poverty food for what turned out to be a useless investment.

  8. funky "looking innuendo" monkey Avatar
    funky “looking innuendo” monkey

    Give Sparky a fruit tree, he’ll have fruit for a day.*
    Give Sparky a ‘puter, he’ll entertain us for a lifetime.

    *Because he’ll just kill the tree. Cause he’s, you know, a Sparky.

  9. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    Give a Sparky some food, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him to trade it for a tree on Craigslist, and he’ll still only eat for a day.

    EDIT: That’ll teach me to post before reading other posts.*

    *May not have actually learned his lesson.

  10. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    EEEKKKKK! Spider in the box! Probably came in on those blueberry bushes everyone keeps leaving in the lounge. Now, what are we going to do with all this fruit?

    1. P-rex Avatar
      P-rex

      I’m building a new web site in the upper corner, You might want to use a broom AFTER I leave.

      Edit: Fruit is good, attracts flies, and I can eat several times my weight daily.

  11. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    I have a couple sacks full of medical supplies and IOU’s I want to trade for Obama.

  12. Digitalaxis Avatar
    Digitalaxis

    Wouldn’t you find out where the food bank WAS before trying to give them food? This seems misguided, the whole way down…

  13. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    My boss has some orange trees she doesn’t use at all, but I don’t think your food will do her any good either. She only eats grass.

    1. SilvaNoir Avatar
      SilvaNoir

      but perhaps she could use a tune-up?

      1. HamCan Avatar
        HamCan

        I ate grass once…what were we talking about?
        Anyone have pizza?

        1. Not-a-[censored] Lion Avatar
          Not-a-[censored] Lion

          Eww! That grass was kept on. Can’t you read that sign?
          All my pizzazz is half-baked. I have Donatos.

  14. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    Mister Sparky and the Missus seem to blame the food bank for them getting lost. So they decided the needy must not be so needy after all. “The Fox and the Grapes” story is supposed to have a moral, but the Sparkys haven’t learned it.
    The food bank that Brer Bear goes to doesn’t have address numbers or a food bank sign visible from the street. So I can understand not being able to find it quickly. However, deciding to not donate because “IT’S TO HARD!” is quite telling of their character.

  15. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    “I figure there is somebody out there who likes soups, spongebob macaroni and cheese and various other instant foods.”

    [rant] No, there isn’t. That kind of food that the stores stock on their shelves are for people who hate the stuff. It’s for people like you to buy and take to the food bank to give to homeless people so they can break their teeth on dried pasta because they are unable to cook it.[/rant]

    1. Anne Avatar
      Anne

      So true. Have you ever looked into the donation ‘barrel’ that stores have out around Thanksgiving/Christmas time? A lot is things like stuffing and cranberry sauce. Nice holiday foods. But an overwhelming number is CANNED POTATOES. Has anyone ever willingly eaten a canned potato? I got a can once for personal use, to put into soup. Never again. Nasty stuff.

  16. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    Ahhhh.

    *casts flowers towards wimmin folk*

    Happy day T’all you Mothers.

  17. P-rex Avatar
    P-rex

    To all you females:

    If your fella treats you great
    and you invite him to your bed.
    Do not eat your mate,
    Let him eat you instead.

    Happy Mother’s Day.

  18. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    P-Rex, the new web site is beautiful! I especially like the artfully arranged fly carcasses! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Philanthropists Anonymous!

  19. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    I know YSaCers have good hearts, and would go back the next day to deliver the food and yell at the volunteers behind the counter. Or something like that.

  20. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
    MissMommyNiceNice

    DONATE ALL THE CHEAP HIGH FAT, HIGH SODIUM, CARBOHYDRATED FOODS!!!!

    Meh, or not. Pass the blueberries.

  21. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    D’oh Nate? Do’h Nate? Doe, a deer? A female deer? Eating all of my blueberries?

    Throws box of Sponge Bob macaroni at D’oh! I missed! I really missed.

    If this makes no sense, it’s because this is the weakened without food.

  22. Lou Stool Avatar
    Lou Stool

    How hard could the food bank be to find? I mean really, the homeless seem to have no trouble locating it, even without Google maps.

  23. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    Give a Sparky a box of Spongebob macaroni and cheese, and she or he will eat for an evening. Let the Sparky barter it for a blueberry bush, and she or he will probably plant it in the wrong place and watch it die.

  24. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    Hehe, you said bush…

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