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YSaC, Vol. 270: If it’s old, it must be valuable, right?

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drmk

in

Antique Buffet (very old) – $1100

This buffet is very old, How I know, because my Aunt who owned it (at one time) was very old before she passed. Best offer and it is yours. No worries… she told me to sell it…. 😉

2701270a

Professor: “Good morning, class, and welcome to Logic 101. Today, we’re going to study the logical fallacy known as cum hoc ergo propter hoc. Who can tell me what’s wrong with this statement?

     My aunt is old.
     My aunt owned this buffet.
     Therefore, this buffet is old."

Snowflake K. Student: “Um ….. my aunt isn’t old anymore because she’s dead?”
Professor: “Not exactly. Anyone else?”
Precious B. Student: “If it’s your aunt’s buffet you don’t have permission to sell it?”
Professor: *heavy sigh* “Try again.”
Design R. Student: “Ooooh, I know! The buffet is ugly, the support beam is broken, and there’s no way it’s worth $1000?”
Professor: “I give up. I’m going to go outside and yell at squirrels for a while.”

Meanwhile, at Sylvia Plath’s favorite furniture shop:

maybe depression bed – $100

not sure but i know its old. still in good shape.selling all i own so come see all of it.
jay xxx xxx xxxx
im not sure i believe it is a full size.rail to rail 55″ wide

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Amy sent this one in, saying, “I’m pretty sure they were going for “This bed may be Depression-Era”, but instead they made it sound like the bed could need Prozac. I definitely don’t want to sleep there!”

I’m getting depressed just looking at the bed. I mean, look at it. It’s just filled with ennui.

And I’m not sure I believe it’s a full size, either.

Comments

24 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 270: If it’s old, it must be valuable, right?”

  1. Libby Avatar
    Libby

    Though the chest may not be old, those walls could be in a museum…look at the walls chipping!
    as for the bed, he may just be depressed because jay is getting rid of his friends sheets, blanket, and pillow. could use a good shrink maybe?

  2. a*p Avatar
    a*p

    Well actually, at that width the bed is probably a 3/4 full, not full full… an antique size no longer made. I’ve a similar size bed that does indeed date to the depression. Getting a new mattress is a pain.

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      See? I *knew* I wasn’t sure I believed it was a full size.

  3. Regina Avatar
    Regina

    Maybe it’s a dysthymic bed…

  4. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    I am strong and dependable.
    I own IKEA furniture.
    Therefore, my IKEA furniture is strong and dependable.

    Rats, it doesn’t work!

    1. SilvaNoir Avatar
      SilvaNoir

      but it’s made from the finest cardboard!

  5. cf Avatar
    cf

    “No worries… she told me to sell it”

    I hope that was before she died.
    If it was after, thats just creeeepy.

  6. Clovis Sangrail Avatar
    Clovis Sangrail

    Thank god it’s a bed. I thought it was going to be an oven.

  7. CE Blog Avatar
    CE Blog

    What was the idea with 3/4 sized beds? Were they for lonely fatties?

    1. a*p Avatar
      a*p

      Naw, they slept a family of 10. They were made this small to fit in tiny Depression shacks, which were in turn hoisted to the top of the family tin lizzy, and thus the first mobile home was invented.

  8. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    I actually want that bed, it’s gorgeous. Maybe it’ll feel better now that winter is over?

  9. Violet Avatar
    Violet

    That’s so funny, I also always use a whimsical emoticon to denote my grief over the passing of my loved ones. Too bad this wasn’t in personals!

  10. Griff Avatar
    Griff

    The standard bed sizes are:

    Twin — 39″ x 75″

    Full — 54″ x 75″

    Queen — 60″ x 80″

    King — too damn big

    — An experienced amateur furniture maker.

    1. a*p Avatar
      a*p

      I am so p0wn3d. Google just told me this:

      “The technical size of a “3/4 bed” is 48 inches wide by 75 inches in length. However, less then 20% are actually 3/4 size mattresses. Many customers have mattress sets that are usually an inch or two shorter or wider than the technical 3/4 size. Knowing this, it is a must that you order the proper size, because your purchase is non-refundable even if it doesn’t fit your mattress.”

      ::hangs head in shame::

  11. Dick Rebel Avatar
    Dick Rebel

    That side cupboard looks to be a mission piece.

    I sold a full set including the exact side cupboard above, a buffet, china cabinet, table that expands to seat 10, and 10 chairs for 7500 in 1998 when I moved to Manhattan. If that side cupboard is sturdy and only the support bar is broken and can easily be fixed, that unit very well may be worth 1100. If it’s a knockoff or the finish can’t be easily restored it’s worth a small portion of that.

    Regarding the bed, it’s almost certainly worth more than 100 smackers. However as others have noted the size will be 3/4 and even then it’ll be an inch or two off. You will need to have a mattress made for it. It’s actually hard to find places that still do this, and expect to pay handsomely for a mattress that doesn’t live up to mass produced premium brand standards.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Hi, I’m from the future, and you desperately need these: (corey) (/corey).

      1. CoffDrop Avatar
        CoffDrop

        Windrose a time traveler? I’m not surprised. Time travel is stressful, not only on the traveler, but on her loved ones too:

        He woke this morning to a bird’s celebratory song.
        A smile on his face, for their love could never be wrong.
        He wondered where she was this time, and if she would be long,
        He fixed his morning cup of coffee, and sat in deep thought.
        Wrong this can not be, but is their love all for naught?

        Yesterday in Salem, the year 1692 she helped right a wrong,
        Today only knows where she lingers, somewhere in time long gone.
        She cried when the Great Library of Alexandria burned,
        There in 48 B.C. only as an observer as Caesar was spurned.
        Always in the shadows when mighty kings were interned.

        A stranger when they met, harboring a secret so dark.
        Unable to share the horrors she had witnessed, her life so stark.
        Time spent together, sharing laughter and tears
        Soon Blossomed to something so dear.
        Stolen moments in time, when she is able to put aside her fears.

        He doesn’t understand her need to jump. Nor the call that beckons.
        But he accepts this woman, and abides with few questions
        The calls from the past haunts her every waking moment.
        There are always consequences and others that sit in judgment.
        Maybe one day the calls will end and she can stay with him in the present.

        Each time she jumps he wonders if she will return to him.
        Time spent away from her becomes each time harder.
        Hoping she doesn’t get lost in time and unable to find her way.
        He prays for her safe return each and every day.
        As he struggles to keep his questions and fears at bay.

        Based on a poem by Rena Kay.

      2. SilvaNoir Avatar
        SilvaNoir

        Can I hitch a ride in your Tardis?

  12. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    So, I know you’re asking yourselves why Mama Windy is up so early on a Saturday! Well, I’ll tell you. I’m going off to work overtime, to work on a project that is impossible for us to get done in the amount of time given with the shortage of staff in our office. Of the 500 plus records I need to review, I may hit the 150 mark before I leave today. Yes, I love my job. I now return you to your regular snarking, because if I look at that bed frame too much more, I’m going to say, “F the project” and go back to my bed. My warm, soft, cozy, honey-still-asleep-in-it bed.

  13. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    This is my auntie’s old buffet;
    She said selling it’s okay.
    She owned it, so it must be really old;
    That logic’s sound, or so I’m told.
    The finest years I ever knew
    Involved the crumbling walls and you.

    I would sell anything I own,
    Auntie’s buffet, my heart, my home.
    I would sell everything I own
    For a happy bed again.

  14. "Lyle" Avatar
    “Lyle”

    I thought aunts owned Armwours… I’m so not good at furniture.

  15. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    This mirror is sooo old….. I can tell by the wrinkles and gray hair .

    Nevermind, that’s just granny.

  16. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    This post is on Craigslist.
    This person sucks at life.
    Therefore this person is sucking at Craigslist.

    QED, Bitches.

  17. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    It’s suspiciously quiet in the Snark Lounge today. You know that feeling you get when the kids are playing quietly, and you know you’re gonna find the poodle painted yellow and black and wearing Pretty Pretty Princess shoes? That’s how I feel.

    Hammy, Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Dear Auntie who Art in heaven!

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