YSaC, Vol. 413: The only dance she can do is the robot, though.

2009 September 3
by drmk

Bit of a dreamer – 21

I am a very down to earth, FEMALETRAITS2 and kind girl who loves to kiss and cuddle.  I love going out to dance – it’s a great way to interact with someone special, and burns lots of calories!  I’m looking for someone who can make me laugh, which isn’t very hard to do.  .  Let me know if your interested.

Hooray! The FEMALETRAITS spambot is back! They seem to have gotten a little bit better at it; this one is almost comprehensible! The picture with the Skeletor mask is a little … odd, and there seems to be a sentence missing before the lone random period, but for the most part it’s an improvement. Congratulations, FEMALETRAIT2 spambot guys!

And of course, I can’t make a spambot post without making a plug for one of my favorite live-action readings of a spambot ad. (Not that I know of any others, mind you.)

Thanks to “Not From Ithaca” for the submission!

Oooh, bonus update, just sent in …

Girl next door with a wild side – 19

I am Music, Guitars, Drums, Food, Shopping, Social Drinking, No smoking, Quirky, Outgoing, Easy going, Camping, Hikes, and Nature, The beach, Phone conversations. I also like to the meet new peoples and making new friends around me. I love the pet animal. I spend my mostly with my family and friends.

What do you think? Spambot? Or idiot? (Or both?)

I am Poll, asking. I love the polling doing.

View Results

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Thanks to Brett for sending this one in (five minutes ago!) … I am online, thinking, being, posting, sitting, doing. I also like to receive the new posts and making new posts around me!

41 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 September 3
    Caro permalink

    From the angle of the photo, her FEMALETRAITS2 are mismatched.

    Adores: 12
  2. 2009 September 3

    So that’s what death looks like?

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 3
      corn flakes permalink

      gives a new meaning to “flirting with death”

      Adores: 3
  3. 2009 September 3
    neverfirst permalink

    FEMALETRAITS2= headlessness.

    Adores: 6
  4. 2009 September 3
    Colleen in MA permalink

    FEMALETRAITS2= makes me laugh. .

    Adores: 4
  5. 2009 September 3
    SoundsLikeVla permalink

    If FEMALETRAITS2=headlessness, what is FEMALETRAITS1? Booblessness? Better to go with FEMALETRATS2 in a personal ad…

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 September 3

    I am looking, reading, smirking, giggling, laughing, coffee-spraying the monitor with my pet animals. Now commenting at the peoples easy-going.
    Also loving at the bots.

    Adores: 21
  7. 2009 September 3
    Bridgete permalink

    I love the pet animal too. We’re talking about Animal from the Muppets, right?

    Adores: 8
    • 2009 September 3
      Lola permalink

      Hey, Animal is great if you need a drummer or someone to party with (and can’t get a … person below normal height to respond to your ad), but do you really want him as a pet? You couldn’t leave him alone in the house!

      Adores: 11
  8. 2009 September 3
    Colleen in MA permalink

    The second ad, cleaned up:

    I love live music, cooking, shopping, camping, hiking, the beach, animals, chatting on the phone with my friends, social drinking (but I don’t smoke).

    Quirky, outgoing, easygoing. I spend my time mostly with my family and friends, but I also like to meet new people and make new friends.


    Adores: 8
    • 2009 September 3
      drmk permalink

      See, spammers? Was that that hard?

      Adores: 7
  9. 2009 September 3
    Terra Firm-uhhh permalink

    Every time I place an ad on CL for FemaleTraits2, all I get is spam from CockEnlargementSuggestion4.

    Adores: 29
    • 2009 September 3
      drmk permalink

      At least you know where to find condoms if their suggestions work!

      Adores: 22
  10. 2009 September 3

    I spend my mostly reading You Suck at Craigslist.

    Adores: 10
  11. 2009 September 3
    Cazio permalink

    I prefer to think that “I like to meet new peoples,” is accurate, and that she enjoys roaming the world, looking for small, undiscovered tribes.

    Adores: 47
  12. 2009 September 3
    corn flakes permalink

    That was weird.
    Even if the ad was written coherently and not a bot, i’m not sure if i want to date a half-naked skeletor.
    I wont rule it out, but i am skeptical.

    Adores: 11
  13. 2009 September 3

    Am I the only one entranced by the guy’s tie in the second picture?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 3
      Hiyame permalink

      The second picture is a little iffy… I mean, this girl definitely looks like the girl described in the spam bot post, so good on them. But goodness… What an odd picture to choose… I love the tie. ^^ Very… pink?

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 3

      I’m just entranced by the guy in general. Who is he? Where are they? Is that a chip clip in the foreground?

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 September 3
        corn flakes permalink

        I actually feel bad for the real girls in stuff like this.
        Somebody somewhere had a flicker/facebook/myspace/etc. picture stolen and used for spam ads.
        Hate to be capt. buzzkill, just thinking aloud.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 September 3

          It does suck. I posted artwork to my Myspace page once. I happened to be friends with my bosses who owned a gallery and their account got hacked and somehow, in some magical computer way. everyone they had friended got hacked. So somehow these spammers put up this weird porn video on my Myspace page that started with my portrait of Emily Dickinson. Very weird and upsetting at the moment.

          Adores: 5
  14. 2009 September 3

    Was that second ad written by a spambot or Borat?

    Adores: 5
  15. 2009 September 3
    ??? permalink

    “I love going out to dance – it’s a great way to interact with someone special, and burns lots of calories!”

    Is that why she’s standing on a bathroom scale in the picture?

    There was an anorexic girl at college we nicknamed “Skeletor,”* it’s good to see she has filled out some…

    *(In retrospect, that was an ATROCIOUS thing to do, but very accurate…)

    Adores: 4
  16. 2009 September 3
    that frood permalink

    …and the robo-boogie. She can do two kinds of dances.

    Adores: 7
  17. 2009 September 3
    SeaD permalink

    Oh. My. God. This post make me laugh so hard it hurts. All the comments just put me over the edge, and I need a doctor now. I’m in so much pain I can’t even begin to make a funny coomment.

    Adores: 1
  18. 2009 September 3
    Wings permalink

    You missed Option D – this is really Robin Williams reviving his Mrs. Doubtfire role… “I…am…job.”

    Adores: 2
  19. 2009 September 3
    Mrphysic permalink

    I just have to say regarding the first post WITTYCOMMENT3 and did anyone else notice RANDOMDETAIL5 – what’s up with that?

    Of course the second post reminds me of OBSCURECELEB18, it’s just like that time when FAMILYGUYREFERENCE774, Giggity Giggity!

    Adores: 29
  20. 2009 September 3
    dogface permalink

    I’m just wondering if the people they got these photos from like that they have FEMALETRAIT2 and pet animals.

    Adores: 2
  21. 2009 September 3

    Reminds me of the Futurama episode with the Lucy Liu-bot.

    Oh, Bit of a dreamer- 21, your hair smells of wildflowers on a warm spring morning, your skin is as smooth as the polished marble of the venus de milo, your eyes are as beautiful as ROMANTICIMAGE3 NOT FOUND.

    Question- do you have to register her on the first date or do you get a trial period?

    Adores: 11
  22. 2009 September 3
    RequiredName permalink

    Yay! A poll! I love polls! They make me feel so important.

    Adores: 0
  23. 2009 September 3
    Katy permalink

    This is what happens when you take the little poetry magnets from your fridge and try to make them into a w4m ad.

    Adores: 5
  24. 2009 September 3
    Count Blah permalink

    So “kind” and “down to earth” are apparently FEMALETRAITs. I wonder what the bot has in its database of MALETRAITs? “Gaseous”? “Pedantic”? “Hairy”?

    Adores: 13
  25. 2009 September 4
    DanTM permalink

    This ad brought out the poet in me.

    I’ve search all of Craigslist to find a girl like you,
    You’re kind and you’re sensible and FEMALETRAITS2,
    I can make you laugh cuz I guess it’s easy to do,
    Don’t care ’bout your face, though, cuz check out those boobs!

    Adores: 17
    • 2009 September 5
      mel permalink

      Bravo! But isn’t it “you’re face”
      (and ‘your kind and your sensitive’)

      Adores: 1
  26. 2009 September 4
    Legion, for we are many permalink

    Can the guy who did the Live Action rendering of the MAN LOOKING CL ad please please PLEASE do a version of the second ad? It would make my weekend.

    Adores: 5
  27. 2009 September 6
    kris permalink

    I’m thinking that is a baseball cap with a skull on it, not a mask… still very odd.

    Adores: 0
  28. 2009 September 6
    DooeyD permalink

    Does anyone else think there’s something very Walt Whitman-y about that second ad? “I am music, guitars, drums, etc.” And old Walt loved the pet animal as well. I’m not sure whether he spent his mostly with his family and friends, though. And I can’t put any more thought into it, because I’m too distracted by that yellow shirt. It looks somehow like she’s wearing it… sideways.

    Adores: 0
  29. 2009 September 7
    My Evil Twin permalink

    I’m thinking the second message probably isn’t a spambot, because of “I also like to the meet new peoples […]” doesn’t really have an appropriate “insert.”

    I also like to [LIKEITEM1] = I also like to [meet new people], I also like to [motorcycles], I also like to [the movies]; but I also like to [the meet new people]? Doesn’t even make sense from a badly-used spam message point of view.

    I vote for someone very, very bad at English that wasn’t paying very much attention (or possibly having imbibed too much vodka).
    Of course, it could be a spammer taking spam ineptitude to a whole new level.

    Adores: 0
  30. 2009 September 17
    Charlie Michelle permalink

    Jesus, every time I see the link to the Spambot Live Reading, I always have to go watch it. I can usually get through the whole thing straightfaced, but the second the duck comes out, I damn near laugh myself into an asthma attack.

    Thanks for the giggles.


    Adores: 1

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