Candle Opera – $30
a wonderful piece to any collection
Hooray for eggcorns!
But … but … what’s that ominous figure hovering in the background? Why, obviously, it’s the Phantom of the Candle Opera!
Thanks, Abby!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
| WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
| 2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
 | bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.html |
 | Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1800: So long, and thanks for all the bees. Wow, it’s amazing to finally find this site. I’d say I’m late in getting here, but I know I’m right… |
| Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
Ack! Too many puns all trying to get out at once! I can’t take the stress! I’ll go read a libretto on my Kindle. Ahem.
Clearly they used up their quota of capitol letters in the title. A verb would have been nice, though.
I’m getting this image of Wheel of Fortune for CraigsList.
But instead of letters you guess parts of speech and categories.
And punctuation.
And capitalization.
“Umm, verbs?”
“Sorry, there are no verbs.”
*Next person spins.*
“I’d like to buy FEMALETRAITS3.”
…
ooohhh….tooo tooo funny. Laughing like a nut here at work. This might be my favorite post ever. It just socks you right in the face…not explanation needed.
“What was that for?” you ask.
“You know” says the post.
“Yes” you say.
(The Phantom of the Candle Opera)
Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
You give your love to me
Our love is blind…
This candelabra
Will blow your mind!
Lot 666 then, ladies and gentlemen: a candelabra, in a single piece. Some of you may recall the strange affair of the Phantom of the Candle Opera, a mystery never fully explained or really cared about. Our workshops have ignored it but it will still hold candles haphazardly. Perhaps we can frighten the ghosts of so many years ago… with a little illumination. Gentlemen!
Will go great with my flashlight cantata and flourescent bulb barbershop quartet.
Candle opera? HAHAHAHA!
Seriously, do people never read? Has this person never seen the word candelabra printed, ever? I guess since their spell check didn’t flag it, they figured it’s OK.
“A wonderful piece to any collection.” This sentence no verb.
Then again, I shudder to think what we’d get if they DID have an idea of what the word looked like. We’d probably end up with something like Candle Bras. Which, as everyone knows, are highly uncomfortable.
Plus, of course, candleabra is plural. This person is selling a single candleabrum. So there are two levels of misspelling here.
Pedantic Latin alert! I love it.
Candle Bras were great in the ’70s, though, for those all-night bra-burning sessions…
… until the Feminist Workaholics started trying to burn them at both ends.
I was going to say something about Candle Labias, but that would have just been wrong. Funny, but wrong.
“Candle Labias” brings a whole new meaning to waxing, though, I guess…
And make for quite a hot date.
Ah, candlelabia. *Insert “I have this burning feeling in my crotch” joke here.*
Personally, I find candle bras enlightening.
Not sure how Candle Labias sit with me (or I with them, for that matter.)
Candle Bras are de rigeur for flaming drag queens.
The instructions for “fulfilling” our annual performance evaluation forms at work ask us to describe our “opera rational objectives”. It’s another example of the passes-spell-check phenomenon, but in its defense, it was written by non-native speakers of English.
We had a memo come out recently, which spoke of “developing skillets.” It was followed up with a correction: “developing skillsets.” I liked the skillets better.
You don’t by any chance work for Paderno, do you?
> I guess since their spell check didn’t flag it, they
BTW, on this topic, there is a good spell check program Spell Check Anywhere (SpellCheckAnywhere.Com). It works in all programs.
Now, Tomer, you wouldn’t be spamming this blog by any chance, would you? Of course not.
Then again… Google is your friend, web-boss llama nun.
Now, now, just because our new best friend Tomer posts the exact same thing on multiple forums where people have happened to mention the term “spell check” doesn’t mean that he’s a spammer. And just because my search engine results reveal that someone arrived on YSaC after searching for “spell check” doesn’t mean that it was him.
*Walks in, smells the puns, walks back out*
A bit off-topic, perhaps, but look at how the candles are leaning all higgledy-piggledy! Call me crazy but if I’m buying an object meant to hold stuff that’s on fire, I would look for one with a tighter grip than this.
It’s the must have piece for anyone contemplating insurance fraud.
Or to set the mood for a romantic dinner, followed by a hansom cab ride to the burn ward.
Wouldn’t that be a handsome cab ride?
More like Hand Some, I guess
“hansom” is quite correct. *rolls eyes*
Unless you’re making a joke, in which case “handsome” is.
Not if the couple has suffered third degree burns to the face, no.
500 quatloos to the first person to set up http://www.yousuckatyousuckatcraigslist.com
Seriously, how many people have patiently explained that it’s “French Provincial” so far? Is there a gene involved?
@PapaSloth:
Maybe it’s a lacking gene? The one relating to humor, sarcasm, irony, etc.
A hansom cab was a type of horse-drawn carriage, if I’m correct. Those who deny all things modern, and therefore still need candelabras, may prefer a hansom cab to a taxi. In all fairness, with the way people drive these days, it could be safer.
a wonderful piece to any collection
Oh, snap! This will look great next to my votivarias!
As much as I hate revealing my ignorance, I have to ask, what are votivarias? I googled it and got 2 hits: this site and a site in Russian.
candle:opera::votive:aria
I’m sure votivarias would look super swell in a triclinium!
As far as Candle Operas go, um, I’m … partial to the works of Waxner?
Paraffuccini?
Bees-thoven?
I got nothing.
Considering the tastefully elegant and subtle design of this, er, candle holder, I’m guessing the opera was written by Liberace … ?
Or possibly Elton John. He did re-do Aida …
It’s too tasteful for them, the Candles are not covered in sequins and the table is not made of mirrors.
Lola, that explains why she’s been smiling so much lately! (Rim shot)
Whenever somebody at my college performed the aria “When I am Laid in Earth”, they would invariably announce it by saying “I would like to sing when I am laid by Henry Purcell”. The expected reply was “you’re gonna be waiting a while, honey.”
Poor fool, he makes me laugh!
Ha ha ha…
She waxes sweet on Wagner,
I think she’d light up Beethoven!
She loves the way Puccini smoke makes a fume,
And Verdi’s always burning in her room!
Well we were burning at both ends all through the night
Ya we were smokin at the opera house until the break of light
And the orchestra was playin’ Yankee Candle’s greatest tunes
And the tapers in the chorus all got off on them singing blues
And as votive grew older everybody was as one
The people on the streets came runnin’ in to join in song
Just to hear the Candle operas singing rock and roll so pure
I thought I saw the beezwax there
But I wasn’t really sure
But it’s all light
That would be a Rock Candle Opera. With deep apologies to ELO.
Can I be your friend?
Of course. But only if you know how to Rockraria!
..and now I know why your cat has that look on his face:
“Oh there he GOES again digging up his ELO albums!”
I would love to know what drugs you were rocking to when you were younger. But in the meantime, keep on rockin’ in the free world.
Here’s a hint: I lived for three years (age 19 – 21) in Germany. 🙂
And my cat prefers ELO, compared to the other crap I play. 🙂
And here I always thought cats were partial to Cheap Trick.
So…since you’ve got the Germany connection, why then aren’t you a big Hasselhoff fan and spitting out those lyrics..?
Jump in my Car
la la la…
Oh..never mind. Don’t answer. I think I even offended myself with that one.
Knight Rider came out after I got back from Germany, so David didn’t exist in Germany at that time.
Now you can begin to figure out how old I am. But in my heart, I am still 17, playing air-guitar to Rick Nielsen…
See..apparently cats AND JcT love Cheap Trick!
Party on Wayne!
i’m late, now that i cant read this site at work anymore. but we told our jokes about sopranos and tenors and drummers last week….
When I saw the title I involuntarily shuddered. The first time I ever read the term “candle opera” was when I was following the story of George Sodini, the guy who shot up the LA Fitness class. He was taking classes from some guy named R. Don Steele on how to nail young women in their early 20’s. One of Steele’s offerings to his students was that they could upload pictures of their homes, cars, etc. to a forum and Steele’s young girls would critique and offer suggestions.
One of the girls suggested to Sodini that while his dining room was nice, it was plain and he should get some candle operas for the table.
Tonight we will have a tealightful selection from Waxner’s Candle-Ring cycle.
The part of Burnhilda will be sung by MIFFY.
The part of Sigfired will be sung by an understudy, as the lead is in hospital after being badly Meistersinged during last night’s performance (which did attract glowing reviews).
For further information, consult our Wicky page, where you will find illuminating information compillared by devotived fans who wax eloquent on our behalf. Both audio-tapers and video-tapers of our recent parafformances are available for sale.
Any reference to http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2772 is an automatic comment WIN!
Nicely done.