YSaC, Vol. 545: Baby, you can drive my car! (But not backwards)

2010 January 13

DAUGHTER NEEDS A CAR


I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF A GOOD RUNNING CAR FOR MY DAUGHTER TO DRIVE HERSELF TO AND FROM SCHOOL AND WORK. I HAVE 3 BIG PLASTIC STORAGE CONTAINERS FILLED WITH VERY RARE CEREALS AS OLD AS THE SEVENTIES, NEVER OPENED WORTH SOME MONEY. THANKS

Huh. Rare decades old cereals, you say? Or rather VERY RARE CEREALS, you say? I’m sure we can hook you up with something.

What about this?

Van no battery and it only goes forward – $200


any questions call james at ##########

How does this one sound? Actually, I think it raises too many questions. Possibly questions of the “questions man was not meant to ask” variety. Let’s see what else we have.

1991 integra shell minty – $650


i am selling my 1991 acura integra da shell it is minty no dents no nun… diz waz my project car but havent had time to drop a motor in it so im sellin it for 650 firm obo if da price is rite ill throw in da tranny i got to so holla at me
### ### #### or hit me up on aim #######
545

Hmm.. a minty nun-free car sounds very nice. However, I suspect “GOOD RUNNING” would actually include some sort of engine. Plus, the idea of a car that is “650 firm obo” makes my (and the submitter’s) brain hurt.

Selling 1999 Plymouth Neon


selling a green plymouth neon great condion wondreful condion 157kilometers, NICELY desighned, Call at ########## for qoustions or if ur intertested in buying! it costs 1600$

I think we have a winner. After all, while this car is ten years old, it only has 98 miles on it! And it’s green! I think we know who has the REAL minty car here!

Thanks to Ryan, Nicole, Alicia, and Eric!

216 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 January 13
    MsDolfinn permalink

    For some reason with every car I have ever purchased, minty was never an option. I think I was robbed.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 January 13
      Andrea permalink

      Personally I prefer the classic pine tree mirror hanger scent, makes it feel like Christmas all year around! All minty makes me feel like is brushing my teeth, which doesn’t involve presents and insane amounts of food, so the pine tree wins that one (or PINE TREE FTW, if I was cool, but I’m not).

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 January 13
        sarajean80 permalink

        I’d like to find one that smells like old cigarettes. I quit smoking years ago but miss that delicious, invasive aroma in my car.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          Several of the “second” (not used as much/suitable for teenage (me) driving) cars my parents would fit that description. Mostly they aired out in time but occasionally on a hot day the Mazda would exude a bit of an ashtray tang. Mmmm … if that’s your thing. We kept the little scent trees in it for a while.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          It’s not so much the smell I miss as the ability to not smell it on others. When I smoked the stale smoke smell of other smokers never bothered me, but after I quit I could smell them from across a crowded room like some sort of lame superpower. I miss having an ignorant nose.

          Adores: 4
  2. 2010 January 13
    Colleen in MA permalink

    He had me at “ill throw in da tranny”. Gets me every time.

    Adores: 41
    • 2010 January 13
      Andrea permalink

      Hopefully they throw the tranny in the trunk so it doesn’t taint the minty smell.

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 January 13
        Lola permalink

        Aw, some of the m-to-f trannies I know smell just as nice as any other lady.

        Adores: 16
        • 2010 January 13
          Andrea permalink

          True, but I’d be willing to bet that’s not the case with one that is willing to be thrown in ‘if da price is rite’. And if they’re being thrown in against their will that would explain the minty smell – you need something to cover up the rotting corpse smell.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          But as it says “ill throw,” perhaps s/he is simply sick and not dead. Trannies are for life, not just for Christmas, but maybe this guy is tired of taking care of his and is trying to push it off onto someone unsuspecting.

          Adores: 12
      • 2010 January 13

        you wont believe this but I went shopping earlier today and turned around in a ladies clothing store and walked right into one, a tranny that is. Thing was he was dressed better than me, which really annoyed me.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          If it makes you feel better, dev, you’ll never have an adam’s apple.

          Adores: 4
  3. 2010 January 13
    Windrose permalink

    At Honest John’s Minty Used Car Lot, we guarantee every car is nun-free, minty fresh, and I’ll throw in da tranny if someone will just point one out to me. 650 firm obo, especially looking for ancient boxes of cereal, unopened. Call at ########## for qoustions or if ur intertested in buying! it costs 1600$ to call, but I’ll stand on my head to make a deal.

    Adores: 29
    • 2010 January 13

      To help identify trannies, simply look for the adam’s apple.

      Adores: 20
      • 2010 January 13
        sarajean80 permalink

        Or lack of one for the f-m variation.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Oh!

          And who said this site isn’t educational?

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          Chest binding is a little harder to catch on to, but it can be a clue.

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 13
        Jen permalink

        When my thyroid swelled up right around where an Adam’s apple _would_ be (poly-cystic multi-nodular goitre, doncha know), a friend tried to cheer me up by telling me “people will think you’re a really pretty trannie!”

        Adores: 12
  4. 2010 January 13

    Poor drmk cannot qualify for the “minty” car. The poster specified “no nun.” Does this violate CraigsList’s nondiscriminatory policy?

    Adores: 19
  5. 2010 January 13
    Black Ice permalink

    I’m afraid I can’t get past the first one. What exactly would a “very rare” cereal look like? Gold plated cheerios? Ambrosia covered sugar pops?

    Actually I lied, I can get passed the first one. Only to be stopped by the second. This ad doesn’t seem to answer any questions a potential buyer might have. Such as “what does the van look like?” And “why does it only go forward?” And most importantly “how can it go anywhere when it doesn’t have a battery?”

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 January 13

      Maybe they have some 3-CPO’s or Mr T cereal or most frightenly, Urkel-o’s.

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 January 13
        Black Ice permalink

        Ugh! DX

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 13
        Lola permalink

        No Quisp,* no deal.

        *(must be vintage, not revival/throwback version)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 13
          MrWhite permalink

          Another original Quisp fan. Yum. Did it scrape your gums raw, too? It was totally worth it, though.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13
        tacomagic permalink

        Actually a few boxes of Pac-Man cereal from the 1980s might actualy make me consider trading my car.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 13

      At one time in my life I owned, and regularly drove, a car that had no reverse, no second gear, and no starter motor, so to me that van deal doesn’t look all that bad.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13
        tacomagic permalink

        So you’re saying you lived on a hill then?

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13
        Black Ice permalink

        Is that even legal? >.>

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 13
        Cled permalink

        I once had a wonderful yellow Chevy Malibu convertible with a black top. Only problem was that before you started it you had to get underneath and bang on the steering linkage with a hammer. It was my studentmobile.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 13

          I tried to park so that the car would be facing down a hill with nothing in front of it. Since that was often not possible, I eventually learned to start it by holding the driver door open, pushing it forward with my left foot, then popping the clutch with my right foot. It goes without saying that this car was a chick magnet.

          Adores: 28
        • 2010 January 13
          screamer permalink

          I once had a 75 Vega that wouldn’t start when it was warm. You had to open the hood and touch a screwdriver to the starter and something else to get a connection; then it would start but there needed to be someone in the drivers seat pressing down on the gas. I remember one time I was alone, making a left across a six-lane road and it stalled when I had all 3 westbound lanes blocked. Nightmare scenario!!

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 13
      tacomagic permalink

      The second one can’t but bring up the fond memories of Kodos:

      “As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.”

      Ah memories of fake things.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 13

        I’m not sure I understand that comment, but should I be saying “fuck you”?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          Lara permalink

          I believe Tacomagic was referring to the second ad which is van that goes forward but has no battery which is impossible. I don’t think the reference was to your memory of your car.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 13

          Follow your instincts on that one jg………

          Adores: 5
  6. 2010 January 13
    lost_compass permalink

    I’ve got a nice little car for your daughter, sir. Cash only – no Chex.

    Adores: 53
    • 2010 January 13

      He sounds flakey.

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 January 13
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      I’d beware – he might be a cereal killer.

      Adores: 35
      • 2010 January 13

        *Groans*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 13
          lareina permalink

          CJ, you just have to take these things with a rye smile.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 13
          lareina permalink

          Wry – rye? Cereal? Anyone?

          *slinks away in shame*

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 January 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Wheat a minute, lareina, I got it!

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 13
        PrincessLuceval permalink

        I think plenty of people oata get it, Lareina.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Ergot that right, princess.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13
          lareina permalink

          Aw, thaks, guys. Maize well stick around, in that case!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Admit it! You’ve had that one saved up. 😉

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 13
          lareina permalink

          No, I swear, I came up with it rice on the spot!

          Dear God, there’s something wrong with me…

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 13
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          So it was bran new?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          Lareina’s quite the quinoa with the puns.

          *pronounced keen-wa*

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 13

      All Hail The Pun God!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 13

        We are not worthy! We are not worthy!

        Adores: 2
  7. 2010 January 13
    tacomagic permalink

    You know, in post-apocalyptic America, where cereal is used as a form of currancy, a tub full of rare ones may just make you king of the waste.

    Of course it doesn’t even come close to the wealth that a crate of Count Chocula represents.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 January 13

      What if you had a crate of the ever-elusive Boo-Berry AND Frankenberry? You would probably be worshipped as a god!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13

        Hmmm…..they still sell all 3 of those cereals where I live! Aha! Finally, the answer to my lifelong quest for world domination & an entire religion centered around ME. And to think, it only requires a box of artificial-everything cereal with no nutritional value. Who’da thunk it?

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 13
      Lola permalink

      “You know, in post-apocalyptic America, where cereal is used as a form of currancy” … I am not, by and large, a fan of speculative fiction, but that’s a book or film I’d pay to see and read!

      I can see the General Mills tribes feuding with the Kellogg’s and Post tribes. The whole series of wars was initially fuelled by one innocent question: “Got milk?”

      Adores: 11
  8. 2010 January 13
    Cled permalink

    Hmmm. For certain personal reasons that some of you know, a no-nun car is not a viable option for me, though the mintiness is tempting.

    But wait! maybe I can do a deal here. Maybe I can get the van with no battery that only goes forwards and trade it to the parent with the decades-old cereal. (Disappointed survivalist?) The daughter can drive in huge circles, thus eliminating the need to drive backwards, and I have the chance of a getting a big barrel of ergotamine, if the there’s any rye in there. What could go wrong?

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 January 13
      tacomagic permalink

      What could go wrong?

      The cereals could be sugar-free.

      Adores: 10
    • 2010 January 13
      Lola permalink

      Cled, I think I figured out a bit more from your avatar (clarifies why you live where you live). She’s cute!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13
        tacomagic permalink

        My avatar tells me to burn things.

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Either that’s a reference to a movie I haven’t seen yet or you live in my neighborhood.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 13
          Lara permalink

          I can totally see that when I look at your avatar Tacomagic. Does it sound like a chipmunk?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Make a sombrero out of tin foil and that will stop.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 13

        Sometimes I wish I could escape into the cloth. Cled, are there any positions for an agnostic, crime-fighting priest and his killer robot sidekick?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          GrahamT,
          “Lay clergy” is probably not what you think it is …

          Adores: 15
        • 2010 January 13

          Another dream crushed. Thanks a lot, Lola. 🙁

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          Sorry, GrahamT. Wasn’t me who made that rule. I’ll try to break it to the robot more gently.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13

          Thanks Lola, he generally doesn’t take bad news very well.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 13

        Cartoons of the cloistered religious make for the sweetest avatars. Everyone knows that.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Gazillion points to Isaac for recognizing the habit.

          Takes one to know one, I suppose. (*)

          —–
          (*) Yes, I know yours isn’t cloistered, but it’s funnier this way.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 13
      Lara permalink

      ooo, time for hallucinations! Accuse people of being witches!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 13

        I demand a fair trial! Bring me a scale, a duck, some wood, potatoes and very small rocks.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 13

          HHNF turned me into a newt.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 13

          Today’s Monty P. reference. It’s a fair cop!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13

          You got better.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13

          I’ll say.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 14
          Meredith permalink

          Came in this morning, moaned about all I’d missed by leaving town yesterday, and then read this as “I demand a friar trial”

          he he

          Adores: 3
  9. 2010 January 13
    mudslicker permalink

    DAUGHTER NEEDS A CAR

    No, DAUGHTER NEEDS A NON-DESPERATE PARENT who won’t entrust her life and well-being to a crazy person who is willing to trade their 1974 Pinto for a cache of moldy Kaboom, Quisp and King Vitamin cereal.

    Van no battery and it only goes forward

    Must be a Nova (the rare van model). Spanish translation: No va = No go. Perfect!

    1991 integra shell minty

    So holla at me: Challah makes me wanna holla! How kosher!
    Da shell it is minty: But I don’t like shells in my mints.
    No dents no nun: …no va!

    My mind is broke for the day now.
    KTHNX

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 January 13

      Thank you for facing these threats head-on for us. It’s a scary job, but someone has to do it.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 13
        mudslicker permalink

        I took one for the team. Can I now be paid in Cap’n Crunch after it’s been rolled over by the minty shell of an Integra (that name is so oxymoron-ish)?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13

          Yes, who knew that “Integra” would be so flimsy and made out of a chocolately shell?

          Adores: 3
  10. 2010 January 13

    that model integra (1990-93) has a chassis code of DA, so it is common for honda people to refer to that car as such. “DA shell” makes sense to me because it means everything but the motor and transmission. no excuse for the other nonsense, really, but that’s a great price. mint usually means no rust no dents and little paint fade.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 13
      Lara permalink

      mint may mean that, but does minty? You do realize this site is about humor right? I’m thinking you don’t

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 13
      mudslicker permalink

      We’re talking YS@C here. Usually doesn’t ever apply.

      This person believes that the word the is spelled da.

      Do the extrapolation and I’d put money on the fact that mint refers merely to what he was distracted by while digging in the pocket of his flannel shirt.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 13

        my point is that not every instance of “da” in the ad posted above is a substitute for the word “the.”

        example: http://desmoines.craigslist.org/cto/1514568520.html

        or search your local craigslist for “da integra”

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13
          mudslicker permalink

          You’re over-thinking corey.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 13

          Des Moines? GTFO my street-racing city if you can’t take a joke.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13

          In Soviet Russia the Integra da You!!!

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 13

        sorry for understanding

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          mudslicker permalink

          *offers box of vintage Fruit Loops as peace offering*

          Welcome to YS@C corey! Leave level-headed thinking at the door. We’re all a tad eccentric around here.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 13
        Steve-O permalink

        Mudslicker, a tad eccentric? This is where I come so my co-workers don’t have me commited.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 13
          mudslicker permalink

          I was trying to be level-headed and non-redundant Steve-O. Shhhhhh!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 13
          Mimi permalink

          You don’t want to be redundant, or repeat yourself either.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 January 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Oh..that doesn’t bother me Mimi. It’s when I say the same things over and over again but in different ways that I would totally like to avoid!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 14
          marn permalink

          used to work with a guy who used ‘redundantly repetitious’ in all seriousness. of course, it was so funny, than 20+ years later, hubby & I always say redundantly repetitious whenever possible.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13

        Actually, I’m kind of glad Corey showed up with a little bit of real explanation. It serves to slightly lessen the hurt my brain is feeling after reading these ads. My brain still hurts, of course, but it only takes a little pressure-relief to keep me from wanting to gouge my eyes out with a rusty rake. Thanks, Corey!

        Now if only somebody could explain to me in exactly which universe old boxes of cereal are considered viable currency? I can start saving up now & move there when I’m ready to retire.

        Adores: 6
  11. 2010 January 13

    Once owned a Pontibuick that wouldn’t run in the rain. Guess she was afraid of getting her feet wet.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 13
      Windrose permalink

      My roomate in the 80s had a Dodge Colt that also wouldn’t start in the rain. Unless you opened the hood, carefully dried the inside of the distributor, I think it was, and got it started before it got wet again. Fun times!

      Adores: 1
  12. 2010 January 13

    Dude, a 99 Neon with 157″kilometers” has to Blue Book for like, 44 cents. I’ll trade you a stamp (never been licked!).

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 January 13
      sweetbiscuit21 permalink

      When I met my hubby, he was driving a Falcon Ute that was once a panel-van, which he had cut down himself. In the back he always had cans of white spray paint, to cover up new rust-marks, along with every tool imaginable, which were required on a regular basis.
      This thing had more hits than Elvis, and I very quickly named him “Kenny”, because as much as we tried, that car just never died.
      Hubby was finally persuaded to upgrade, and Kenny went out in a blaze of glory – the star of a car-and-caravan Demolition-Derby.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 January 13

        At least it met an honorable end, rather than someone trying to sell it on Craigslist for 2000x its market value.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 13
        Lara permalink

        I had a friend in High School that had an old voyager van that we called the Gutless Wonder. You couldn’t open the driver’s side door, the driver’s side window was duct taped into position, the arm rests were scattered throughout like so many severed car limbs and they kept a bunch of kitty litter in the back seat for when it got stuck in snow. I had the misfortune to be in it once when it was driven on the highway. It couldn’t go over 35 mph and shook like any minute it was going to fall apart and we would all be left with no shell, minty or not. I started refusing rides after that. During the winter cats slept in it. I mean A LOT of cats. I guess it was a chick magnet because it attracted pussies. *Excuses herself*

        Adores: 21
      • 2010 January 13
        sarajean80 permalink

        I had a classmate in high school who drove an ancient pick up truck. He was in a minor accident and rolled it, destroying the roof but leaving most of the body intact if resembling a very crumpled paper bag. Being a poor high school student(and something of a redneck), he cut off the damaged roof and the tops of the doors and drove it like that for the rest of the time he was at school(and for some time afterwards so far as I know. You can still see it if you drive down the right street, parked in front of his parents’ house) If it was supposed to rain he would duck tape a bright blue tarp over the openings and in winter you could see him driving around town in about twenty layers of clothing, including several gloves and at least one ski mask. It was also painted a very bright orange, the color of traffic cones and safety vests.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 June 26
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I had a friend in high school who drove a Yugo. Let me borrow it, once.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 13
        Ed Snyder permalink

        My first car (in 1986) was a ’70 Olds Delta 88. It was a hideous asparagus color and we called it the skeeter killer because of all the oil it burned. When I joined the Navy, I gave it to my girlfriend’s dad because he wanted to enter it into a demolition derby. The first time I took leave he handed me $50 and I asked him what the money was for. He told me that he won $100 in the derby with the skeeter killer and that was my share.

        Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 13
      Lara permalink

      I would require mine to be licked.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 13
        Lara permalink

        That was meant in reference to Graham’s stamp comment, I think I pressed the wrong reply button. It was dirty to begin with but its twice as dirty just out there by itself. However, do you remember that commercial awhile back where everyone is scrambling for cars and a guy likes the door handle of one to claim it? That came to mind. Maybe that car was minty.

        Adores: 14
        • 2010 January 13

          It was damned funny anyway.

          p.s. your freudian slip is showing. 😉

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 13

          Hey, whatever makes you minty.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13

          An altoid.

          Adores: 4
  13. 2010 January 13
    Lara permalink

    I just like the statement “da shell it is minty.” It has this wonderful feeling that the person has some exotic accent. Of course I want to put a comma in there to get the right reading, it should be “da shell, it is minty.” Maybe even make the shell a female so it’s “da shell, she is minty.” Good times. I would definitely be interested in a minty car. Spearmint in particular. For that last one, I bought a car which was 10 years old and owned by a woman who never drove it because right after she bought it she got diagnosed with cancer. Given all of that the car still had 27,000 on it. 98 miles would be truly impressive. I think maybe that seller forgot to say that it has no engine in it like the minty car. Hell, it could be minty too. There must be some sort of equation relating the number of minty miles to real miles. 100,000 miles on a regular car=20 miles on a minty car. Now excuse me, I need to go eat some of my very rare cereals.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 13

      http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3819#comment-20977

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 13
        Lara permalink

        way to not get the joke there Corey. Linking to your own comment a few up from mine is super classy.

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          fa⋅ce⋅tious  /fəˈsiʃəs/ Use facetious in a Sentence
          –adjective 1. not meant to be taken seriously or literally: a facetious remark.
          2. amusing; humorous.
          3. lacking serious intent; concerned with something nonessential, amusing, or frivolous: a facetious person.

          Origin:
          1585–95; facete + -ious; see facetiae

          Related forms:
          fa⋅ce⋅tious⋅ly, adverb
          fa⋅ce⋅tious⋅ness, noun

          I’m just sayin.’

          Adores: 20
        • 2010 January 13
          Windrose permalink

          I vote for Carey as Captain Obvious! If elected, you get a sense of humor, minty with no nun!

          Adores: 19
        • 2010 January 13

          Hey, Corey, here’s a Sense Of Humor pill. Seems you’ve been neglecting your meds. It’s a suppository. Don’t know if it will fit past your head, but I’ll get the gloves and the BaconLube.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 13
        Lara permalink

        Thanks Lola. I did need some etymology today anyway. I have a dictionary of that somewhere that I need to dig out.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13

          i guess i enjoy laughing at something i don’t understand less than some of you guys. sorry for trying to help you learn something today.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 13
          Windrose permalink

          Dang, there’s no way to give someone negative numbers. 8) Just kidding!

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Thank you for sharing, Corey. Now we know.

          The post is still hilarious.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 January 13
          Windrose permalink

          Corey, to enjoy this site, you must take a vow of jocularity.

          Adores: 8
      • 2010 January 13

        i am now getting emails about my comments here. you guys really don’t want me to spoil your joke.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          We take our jokes seriously here.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 January 13
          lareina permalink

          No, sweetie, we’re trying to help you get that it is a joke. Well, other, nicer people than I are.

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Corey, I followed your links and I see that you are a really serious guy and I also see that you really like Integras. We don’t mean to pick on you (well, not too much). It’s just that this isn’t a very serious blog. The joke would be just as funny to us if it were any other kind of car. The make of the shell just isn’t important here.

          You’re welcome to join us in laughing. Take a look at some of the other posts and read the comments. We’re really quite a nice group of people. 🙂

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 January 13

          Teh intarwebs is SRS business!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 13

          lareina is only in it for teh lulz.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Nice comment cled! Better brains than mine…

          Graham: teh? Don’t you mean da? LOL

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 January 13
          Karaoke Monkey permalink

          Karaoke Monkey is shocked that you would say such a thing, GrahamT!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 13
          Kanye West permalink

          Yo Corey, I’m real revved for you, I’mma let you finish, but da Mazda B-series is da best shell of all time. Da B-series is da best shell of all time!

          Adores: 20
        • 2010 January 13

          Corey, welcome to the site. I think what our regulars are trying to say is that while referring to this particular shell as “da shell” might not be out of line, there are many, many other things about this ad that are mockworthy.

          We here at YSaC actually welcome the opportunity to learn something new, so your point regarding the da shell are welcome. Now if you have anything else about the ad that you can help explain — including but not limited to why there’s no nun, or how someone can offer a firm price of $650 but also be willing to accept offers — we would be open to that kind of enlightenment as well.

          Adores: 21
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Yeah, that whole “no nun” thing just puts it beyond the pale.

          Harrumph.

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 January 13
          Steve-O permalink

          Well, at least no one accused us of being racist today, simply because our taxonomy is awesome.

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 January 13

          Jeeze- I’ve written some pretty humorless, dumb stuff here and I’ve never received e-mails of encouragement. What am I doing wrong corey?

          Adores: 15
        • 2010 January 13
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          poor Corey, people are always questioning his Integra-ty.

          Adores: 23
        • 2010 January 13
          Ed Snyder permalink

          I’m still waiting for Corey’s link to inform me what a nun is in Integraspeak. I already know that Tizwaz is a brand of leather motorcycle clothing and I conclude that Diz Waz must be something similar for Acura freaks (I figured that all out on my own without a fancy link from Corey). But I’m stumped by the nun.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 January 13

          I emailed corey and asked him to come back since the post frequency has died off a bit.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13
          Ed Snyder permalink

          In Soviet Russia, humor doesn’t have any sense of Corey.

          Adores: 17
        • 2010 January 13

          Okay, I admit that I lied about emailing Corey. I’m too stupid to find any email address for him, even looking at his website, so I’m wondering if he was confused about receiving emails for his comments here.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          Windrose permalink

          Corey, confused? Naw. I didn’t email him, but I left a comment on his site. I complimented him on his knowledge. I did too!

          Adores: 5
  14. 2010 January 13
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    “1999 Plymouth Neon – NICELY desighned”

    Have truer words ever been spoken?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 13
      Dan permalink

      Honestly? I have no idea.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 13
      Lara permalink

      For some reason that made me think of the last words of the Norwegian dramatist Henrik Ibsen who when he was told he was getting better said “On the contrary!” and died.

      Adores: 11
  15. 2010 January 13
    Windrose permalink

    157kilometers Metric system, how we have failed you!

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 13
      Lara permalink

      I certainly failed it, repeatedly.

      Adores: 7
  16. 2010 January 13
    christina permalink

    Quisp, King Vitamin, Kaboom…repressed memories. So this is why I am diabetic.
    Now I’ve got this vague memory of a mid-eighties cereal commercial involving a Polynesian king proclaiming the cereal’s flavor to be “A-yumma-yumma.” Google is no help. Anyone else remember this one?

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 13
      mudslicker permalink

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKtJWqxpVio

      Here’s the commercial christina.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13
        christina permalink

        Thank you mudslicker! Much less surreal than I remember, but weird none the less.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Yes. I was thinking the same thing. I believe the eyes of a 6 year old are a bit skewed. Everything is awesome at that age.

          Sorry for the brutal letdown. Hehe.

          *yumma-yumma*

          Adores: 2
  17. 2010 January 13

    Rare cereal? See, I think cereal should be well-done..now, minty..I can take that rare any day of the week.

    Pass the tranny, please.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 January 13
      lareina permalink

      No, no, trannies have to be thrown. In a pinch, tossed. But never passed.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 13
        zac permalink

        I am sure there is an inuendo in there about “tossing trannies” but it just won’t come to me.

        First post BTW.

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 January 13

          Welcome, zac!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          It’s like dwarf-throwing, but with better dress-sense!

          Glad you’ve joined this happy little zoo.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 13
          Cled permalink

          Nice to meet you, zac. I can tell you’ll be right at home here.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          Maybe they dress the dwarves up first, sweetb.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 13

          Welcome, zac! Now, say goodbye to your sanity. 🙂

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 13
          sarajean80 permalink

          You won’t miss it much, I know I don’t.

          Adores: 3
  18. 2010 January 13
    Karaoke Monkey permalink

    *launches into chorus of ‘Welcome to the Monkey House’*

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 13
      Jen permalink

      Why did the monkey get lost?

      Because jungle is _massive_!

      *inappropriate chortle:joke-goodness ratio*

      Adores: 4
  19. 2010 January 13

    Oooh, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve been on the NWSR *northwest street racing* classifieds. Between the methheads and Engrish and stolen-parts dealers, it’s a sesspool of fail. Unless they have something for my twin turboed volvo, and then it’s s definite WIN

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 13
      Windrose permalink

      Aha! I knew someone would make a racist remark!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13

        At least it wasn’t me this time.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 13

        *shakes fist* Dang you, me! Dang you to heck!!

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13

          Answer the door. It’s Al Sharpton.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13

          *gets pliers, duct tape and shovel*
          What a loverly surprise! Come on in for some lemonade and rare cereals, Mr Sharpton!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          If it would make you feel better, I could probably work up a little indignation regarding Lara’s remark about accusing people of being witches.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 13
        mudslicker permalink

        Hey, hey hey! You kids settle down! I’ll send Harry Reid in to illustrate a few lessons.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Beer and cereal summit!

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 13
      Lola permalink

      I’m totally using “cesspool of fail” in future.
      Maybe at this year’s class reunion that I am again avoiding.
      (I’m snarky in real life, too.)

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 14
        tigprincess permalink

        Lola me too with “cesspit of fail”. Welcome Zsc. The driver’s door of my current car doesn’t shut in the cold weather and requires an extra shove! The engine and other bits do work – forwards and backwards!

        Adores: 2
  20. 2010 January 13
    InsideJoke permalink

    I’m sorry, but I missed this lesson in school. What is the cereal to trannie conversion rate? Because I’m thinking three tubs of very rare cereal might be the only way to get around a “$650 firm” price.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 13
      mudslicker permalink

      Rare may be an exceedingly relative term. Rare to the seller may mean 3 tubs of Rice Krispies that expired August 14, 1974 and it’s only rare because all the puffs are cemented together and no one in their right might would have kept them around that long.

      3 tubs of Quisp and Quake and Twinkles might have been what the buyer was expecting. Set-up for a let-down.

      *Depressy the clown face*

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 13
        mudslicker permalink

        might – mind

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 13
        Windrose permalink

        Depressy The Clown cereal! What a great idea! We’ll make millions (over over-weight kids even larger)!

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 13
          mudslicker permalink

          That would so SOOOoooooo wrong Windrose. PTSD at the breakfast table.

          *please pass the juice and Flintstones vitamins please*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 13
          Depressy permalink

          Depressy cereal will taste like pain!

          Adores: 13
      • 2010 January 13
        sweetbiscuit21 permalink

        It’s the Cat Math again – the conversion makes perfect sense when you’ve studied Pycatgoras’s theorem.

        Adores: 9
    • 2010 January 13

      Remember it’s “$650 firm obo”…wait…is this person telling us he has a firm obo?

      Oh dear…oh my…

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 June 26
        Steph permalink

        I… oh, my. The thought is so agonizing that I cannot summon any snark!

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 13
      Ed Snyder permalink

      On the other hand, if they have a Lou Gehrig Wheaties Box that is probably worth 2 Yugos and a Chevette.

      (Actually that would be older than the ’70s. Guess the best I can hope for is a Mary Lou Retton.)

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 14
        Maureen permalink

        In Soviet Russia, Mary Lou Retton hopes for you!

        Adores: 5
  21. 2010 January 13
    Ladycrim permalink

    What’s sad is I know people who would LOVE to get rare cereal boxes! (Hopefully not enough to trade a car for them …)

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 14
      mudslicker permalink

      Yeah, in Soviet Russia maybe!

      *wink*

      Adores: 1
  22. 2010 January 13
    Nicole permalink

    Oh yay! My submission arrived! =D Happy belated birthday to me! -lame face-

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 13
      Lola permalink

      I don’t think your face is lame. That’s a cute ferret.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 13
        Nicole permalink

        Aww yay for a ferret fan. That’s my little Oliver. I also have 8 cats, soon to be 9. I should really have one of their demonic faces as my avatar, but they are too busy tearing up the furniture to pose for pictures.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 13
          Lola permalink

          You’re not allowed to buy them where I live for some reason, so I don’t see them too often (people buy them elsewhere and bring them in, of course; I’ve seen them at the vet). I’ve never had my own but the people I know who have/have had them like them. I think they’re cute.
          But then one of my friends owned multiple domestic rats when we were in college, and I liked them, as well. I don’t have a problem with rodents … domestic ones as pets, that is. (The mice my cat catches I have no problem helping to dispatch. No Hantavirus for me! But if someone had pet mice I’d be OK with them.)

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 14
        Maureen permalink

        Lola, re comment below: you do know ferrets aren’t rodents, yes? They’re weasels. Or as I pronounce it: WEEEEEEEEEEE-zooo! (insert nonsensical string of baby talk and smooching sounds here)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 14
          Lola permalink

          I don’t know if I knew that or not (I’ll definitely remember now) … doesn’t matter either way. Still like them. 🙂

          Adores: 1
  23. 2010 January 13
    Rocky permalink

    I bought a ’95 Neon in January 2002 with half the miles for less than $1600…so someone needs adjust their expectations…

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 13
      mudslicker permalink

      But was it GREEN…”Hello!”…???

      Adjust or razzle-dazzle the issue by including the terms “firm” and “OBO” in the same ad.

      I’m sure gonna miss the GM Pavillion at the next World’s Fair.

      Adores: 2
  24. 2010 January 13
    Windrose permalink

    Dear Littlestowl: Congratulations! You get a shiney new card with your first punch. I may be mistaken and unobservant, but that was one of your first time comments, wasn’t it? Not bad! Hope you stay around.

    Adores: 4
  25. 2010 January 13
    H.J. Simpson permalink

    Mmmmm… minty.

    Adores: 9
  26. 2010 January 13

    I could be mistaken, but this post has probably generated the most comments in the shortest period of time. The free kittens post has 170 but it seems like it didn’t get there for a couple days.

    Adores: 3
  27. 2010 January 13
    Ed Snyder permalink

    “i got to so holla at me”

    Sounds to me like he’s angry at himself for offering to throw in da tranny. So angry that he’s going to go yell at himself for awhile.

    Adores: 5
  28. 2010 January 13
    penguin permalink

    What happened was that Desperate Dad’s commodity broker, Slick Sam, left him a message that told him to go long in wheat. Desperate Dad, not being the brightest bulb, misunderstood. He headed straight over to Dave’s Deep Discounts (where printed on every receipt is “Customer agrees not to hold DDD liable for any injury, illness or death as a result of using or consuming any product sold by DDD”). He used his last unemployment check to buy up all of the Wheaties and only questioned for a fleeting moment why Tonya Harding was on the front.

    Now he has no job, no money and can’t afford to take the risk of actually eating the cereal. Especially after what happened at the last family bbq when he served hamburgers he got from DDD’s that were labeled 90% lean “beef”. But if he can get his daughter a car, she can get a job as a dancer and all will be well.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 January 14
      tigprincess permalink

      Penguin this is obviously the simple explanation why should anyone be asking quostons?

      Adores: 2
  29. 2010 January 13
    Heather permalink

    I’d consider giving the first lady my van if she could hook me up with a box of Halfsies.

    Adores: 3
  30. 2010 January 13
    Traveler permalink

    Recently I tried watching M. Night Shyamalan’s “Lady in the Water” , but I turned it off at the point when [mild and mostly uninteresting spoilers ahead] the cereal boxes seem to be giving clues about the story to the little boy. So maybe those were rare cereal boxes? In that case those may be worth something, at least if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to help some watery tart -or any non-specific kind of moistened bint- that has appeared in your neighbourhood.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 13
      sweetbiscuit21 permalink

      No farcical aquatic ceremony in my neighbourhood lately.

      Adores: 4
  31. 2010 January 13
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    All the “Minty” comments made me check. So here we go, straight from urbandictionary.com:

    “Minty: a favorite expression of Seth Cohen from the o.C., used to mean slightly embarrasing and having homosexual tendencies.”

    He’s right. That car is totally minty!

    Adores: 7
  32. 2010 January 13
    JayP71 permalink

    Since when was the Neon “NICELY desighned”?

    Adores: 1
  33. 2010 January 14
    chronologically gifted permalink

    I have, in my time, owned a Corvair, a Vega, and a semi-automatic VW. Obviously I am not in a position to judge other people’s definition of minty or well-desighed cars. That said, even I would not be interested in the van. In a previous life, I worked on an Army base in Germany. My BFF and I went half-sies on a car that had no reverse. We were cute young things. On an Army base. For some reason, getting the car turned around never seemed to be a problem. *sighs nostalgically* These days, I can’t see me getting that kind of help!

    Adores: 3
  34. 2010 January 14
    Meredith permalink

    Wow, guys, 200 comments in one day. I’m so proud, and so sad that I didn’t get to take part in this.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 14
      lareina permalink

      Well,records were made to be broken! Consider this a challenge for the next one 🙂

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 14

      We did it in honor of you. It was so empty and cold without you, so we tried to make up for it. It didn’t work. *sob*

      Adores: 3
  35. 2010 February 21
    Steph permalink

    My life is complete. I’ve discovered the post in which “minty shell” originated.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 March 21
      Windrose permalink

      As well as Corey’s one and only appearance, that still lives on. And the cereals for a car for the daughter. That still shows up now and then. It was a great day in YSaC history.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 23

        Wait, I’ve been reading about Corey all this time and this is his *only* appearance? Whoa.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 April 4
          NilTrace permalink

          I guess he didn’t find YS@C as minty as the rest of us do?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 26
          Steph permalink

          I know! I’d expected him to have more appearances, as much of a legacy as he’s left…

          In other news, holy crap–I forgot I’d posted on this one. Full circle! …or something philosophical.

          Adores: 2
  36. 2011 January 14

    No nun, but I may be able to get a tranny? Bah. At that price, I should be able to get the tranny nun of my choice.

    Adores: 2

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Tweets that mention YSaC, Vol. 545: Baby, you can drive my car! (But not backwards) | You Suck at Craigslist -- Topsy.com

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.