YSaC, Vol. 563: They {do|do not} suck at Craigslist.

2010 January 31
by drmk

Long-time readers and submitters know that I like to verify ads actually exist(ed) before I post them. It’s something about not wanting to fall victim to someone who’s just making something up. Oh, and the fact that I’m just generally honest. That, and the fact that there is more than enough actual suckitude on Craigslist, so I don’t have to resort to posting anything that’s not real.

I’m taking a leap of faith today, because Rick sent me this ad but I wasn’t able to verify that it was really posted on Craigslist. I hope you’re not messing with me, Rick!

smart girl in bed – w4m


{Regular|Normal|Standard|Ordinary|Typical|Usual|Average}{girl|gal|lady|woman} who works {9 to 5|9-5}..{sometimes|occasionally|often|at times|typically|generally} more, so you {can|may|could|might|should|are able to|would|should be able to} {guess|think|understand|reckon} that I am {bored|tired|fed up} of my {job|work|career} and {co workers|associates|staff}. {Need|Want|Desire|Have to have|Must have|Need to have|Have need of} some {more|additional|extra|added|greater} {excitement|pleasure} around. {Went out|Partied|Went Partying} with {some|a few} {friends|pals|buddies|close friends|good friends|co-workers} and had {a few|some|a couple of|one or two|just a few} drinks, {had to|needed to|was required to|was forced to|and was forced to} {come home|leave|end the night} {because|since|simply because|mainly because|thanks to} my ride {wanted to|had to|needed to} {go|leave}, {but|yet} i still {wanted|needed|preferred} to {go out|stay|continue} and have some fun. {I am|I’m} {petite|small|tiny} {girl|gal|lady|woman} {looking for|searching for|seeking|in search of|trying to find|in need of|seeking out|needing|struggling to find} a {man|guy|gentleman} to {dazzle|impress|charm} me with his {sense of humour|humour|funny bone} and sexy {personality|character|qualities|attitude|style}. I {don’t|do not} even {think that|believe that} made any sense, but who cares So {let’s|let us|why don’t we|we should} {get to know|become familiar with} {each other|one another}

It’s {sort of|almost|kind of|exactly like} {Mad Libs|high school|a Wurlitzer organ|tap dancing|the freemasons}. I mean, the {Craigslist ad|idiot poster|Nobel Committee|P.S. 233 2nd grade class} {should|might|does|will never in a million years} have the {common sense|temerity|nerve|clue-deficiency} to {ERROR: VERB NOT FOUND} their {ad template|pyramid scheme|Nigerian money-laundering scam|pictures of kittens}.

Ow.

155 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 January 31
    Windrose permalink

    Basically I {can/can not} figure out the {point/object/bacontini} of this ad, but being {tired/hung over/femaletraits7} I feel it’s best if I {orbit Saturn/rewrite Shakespeare in Klingon/find a cure for suckitude}.

    Adores: 33
  2. 2010 January 31
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Geez, I would hope any horny guy would just read the headline and figure out her number, and go for it. She’s a horny girl looking for action after a hard day’s work at a place she doesn’t like.

    Need to hook her up with John Deere man, there are enough brackets in that sentence to display all of his collection!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 31
      JuneJenny permalink

      Yeah, but can you imagine what she would be like in bed??

      “You can put your maletrait1 {in/on/behind} my femailtrait3. Then I’ll use my femaletrait4 to {caress/rub/fondle} your maletrait7.”

      It’s like Choose Your Own Adventure porn.

      Adores: 59
      • 2010 January 31

        Is this some kind of {in\you\end} oh?
        🙂

        Adores: 23
        • 2010 January 31

          I think it’s more of a {femaletrait12/in/femaletrait6}

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 31

          Hee hee.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 3

      well at least she has proven that she’s kind of smart, with all the synonyms, correct spelling and punctuation. not smart enough though, to realize her rather special writing style kinda makes your brain hurt.

      what just puzzles me a bit is that she’s looking for a man and then starts talking about how she doesn’t like her job/co-workers and that she’s got sort of a drinking problem. on the other hand she’s aware of the fact that her ad makes no sense, but is still posting it anyway, so we’ve got proof that she isn’t so smart as she thinks.

      perhaps she just added all the synonyms because thought they work like tags, and so more guys will find her ad…

      p.s. what’s the animal under the NOT.A.LION supposed to be? a praying black kangaroo?

      Adores: 1
  3. 2010 January 31
    Catherine permalink

    that’s waaaaay too {literate/correctly spelled/grammatical} to be a {bot/scam/example of automatically generated spam}. But it’s also not terribly {amusing/clever/un-tedious}. And what’s up with the alternative british spelling and the contraction/not contraction choices? If bots were getting this sophisticated, you’d think they could manage to get them to parse correctly. If it’s a person, can you imagine how frustrating it would be to find out what kind of foreplay she likes?

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 January 31

      Can you imagine the ‘Dear John’ letter?

      You {your friend/coworker/neighbor/wife/someone totally unrelated to you} might {want/not want/care/not care} to know that I am {definitely/not/not sure} if I am {pregnant/pressing charges/not pregnant/moving to Mexico/a man}
      and that you {should/should not/might die} get {tested/questioned by the Feds/hunted} for {STDs/ransom/information/blackmail}.

      Your {friend/baby mama/confidant/mistake},
      {Felicia/Big Duke/agent 52/Tony Montana}

      Adores: 19
  4. 2010 January 31
    penguin permalink

    A non-English speaker, she ran her ad through several English translators. Not wanting to risk being misconstrued, she decided to use all of the translations in hopes that one of them was correct.

    My brain hurts.

    Adores: 6
  5. 2010 January 31

    {I dunno|Well|Actually}, I kind of {like it|admire the effort|have a headache now}.

    {If nothing else|At least|I mean} she can {spell|punctuate|irritate the hell out of people}.

    Adores: 16
  6. 2010 January 31
    Windrose permalink

    Alrighty, then! More awake, and it occurs to me that if Craigslist charged by the word, this kind of confused and confusing ad would be avoided. Or at least too expensive to be posted by the likes of {Regular|Normal|Standard|Ordinary|Typical|Usual|Average}{girl|gal|lady|woman}

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 31
      arallyn permalink

      Windrose! This bird looks like it got into a paint canister!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 February 1

        She kinda smells that way, too …

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 1

          I love all of your birds. If I didn’t live halfway across the world, I would be begging to come by and photograph them.

          Stupid geography always ruining my fun….

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 1
          Windrose permalink

          Lareina, just tell us when you get back to Canada, if you do, and we will invite you down to Sunny California to visit. 8)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 1

          Lareina, we have 78 of them at the latest count, with the addition of the three just-fledged zebra finches. 🙂

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 January 31

    I wonder if she {likes/loves/wants/needs} some {bacon/chops/pork products/ham}?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 31
      H.J. Simpson permalink

      Mmmmmm… a wonderful, magical animal!

      Adores: 7
  8. 2010 January 31
    sarajean80 permalink

    {ERROR:WITTY COMMENT NOT FOUND}

    Brain go boom now.

    Adores: 27
    • 2010 January 31

      *sigh*
      I’ll get the mop and the brainbleach.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 31
      arallyn permalink

      Awww poor sarajean. Your kitty looks like it’s looking on in horror as your brain goes boom.

      *scoops up brain pieces*

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31

        OMG how did I not notice the kitty! That’s the cutest thing ever.

        I have such serious cat envy every time I come here…

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Traveler permalink

          May I join the cat envy group? Damn allergies…

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31
        arallyn permalink

        Pah! my parents are very allergic to cats, but they still keep mine around…even though she’s the most dander-y cat in existence. They just take antihistamines like a daily pill.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Windrose permalink

          arallyn, next time I get to play The Minister’s Cat, I will have to remember dandery. 8)

          Adores: 2
  9. 2010 January 31
    penguin permalink

    Maybe a form of cat math will help?

    {girl|gal|lady|woman} + {friends|pals|buddies|close friends|good friends|co-workers} / {bored|tired|fed up} of my {job|work|career} x {a few|some|a couple of|one or two|just a few} drinks +({dazzle|impress|charm}+ {sense of humour|humour|funny bone})2 = {smart girl in bed}

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 31
      ZOMG PENGUINS! permalink

      Ouch

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 31
      sarajean80 permalink

      This is more like cat calculus .

      I know, it’s catculus!

      Adores: 12
  10. 2010 January 31
    christina permalink

    There is not enough {coffee/tea/no-doz/crack} in my {system/cupboard/pants} to properly {comment/ponder/monkey dance} on this {listing/performance art/red table/Richard Nixon} just yet.

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 January 31

      I think there’s enough crack in your pants. But what do I know?

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 January 31
        christina permalink

        {touché/zing/well played/I deserved that/monkey dance}

        Adores: 13
        • 2010 January 31

          {Okay|Very well|All right}, {Monkey Dance|Monkey Dance|Monkey Dance} {it is|then|indeed}!

          Adores: 3
  11. 2010 January 31
    Lola permalink

    Smart in bed, perhaps; a complete f***wit behind the keyboard.

    It’s not yet noon here, never mind 5 pm, but reading that makes me want to drink heavily to either understand it or forget it, I don’t know|Zaphod Beeblebrox|St. Swithun|Táin Bó Cúailnge|bagel mit schmear.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 January 31

      +10 for Táin Bó Cúailnge reference. May Lugh be with you.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 31

      Early Irish literature FTW!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 31

        Man, I can always count on this site to make me feel gauche and insufficiently well-read. I’ll be back in a few…

        *slinks off to hug BA Honours Literature diploma for comfort and reassurance*

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 31
          Lola permalink

          If it makes you feel any better, I only learned about that in grad school. 🙂

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          And I will admit that, though I recognized the title as Gaelic, I had to go look up what it said. 🙂

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 31

          I just love Gaelic with my coffee. Keeps the vampires away.

          Adores: 10
    • 2010 February 2
      laura permalink

      My brain turned Táin Bó Cúailnge into Tae Bo Challenge.

      Adores: 1
  12. 2010 January 31

    Okay, I’m gonna ask first, does everyone want the corey explanation, or should I keep my mouth shut?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 31

      G’wan. Hurt us.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 31
      JuneJenny permalink

      Corey explanation. Yes, please.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 31
      Lola permalink

      Since you’ve warned us, go on.

      *holds saucepan over head and [FEMALE TRAITS23] and hides behind door*

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31
        Maureen permalink

        Er, don’t you need two saucepans for your [FEMALETRAITS23]? Or am I getting confused with [FEMALETRAITS17]?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Lola permalink

          Actually, I just covered my [FEMALETRAITS23] with my arm, and used the other to hold the saucepan.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 31
      sarajean80 permalink

      Go ahead, Corey this bad boy up. You couldn’t make it worse.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31
        sarajean80 permalink

        In hindsight, that sounds a little too much like a challenge.
        *winces and hides under desk*

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 31

      Either someone really sucks at bot scripting, or they’re intentionally trying to make a joke… I’m trying to figure out under what circumstances the curly braces and | symbols would show in the output, even if someone royally screwed up the code.

      The stuff in the braces are enumerated values, so if this were a bot it could generate shit tons of ads (can’t remember the mathematical term) by systematically combining the values, for example,

      Regular girl 9 to 5 sometimes etc.
      Regular gal 9 to 5 sometimes etc.

      Eventually you would get to

      Average woman 9-5 generally

      So either they don’t understand where to put the values or they’re making fun of bots.

      /corey

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 31
        Windrose permalink

        Oh, it all makes perfect sense now. Thanks, graham! *nods head slowly*

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31
        Lola permalink

        I know just enough about code that that made a little sense, and also little enough that I’m going to assume you’re right and know what you’re talking about. 😉

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31

        I can only imagine what {she} turns into from 5:01-8:59 {5:01 PM through/thru 8:59 AM}
        An {orge /A gremlin /A tranny/big hairy Italian guy/A minty shell}? There are way too many options for my liking, here.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31
          Lola permalink

          Big hairy Italian tranny with minty shell.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 31

          That’s {very/kind of/not really/totally} {nauseating/appealing/amusing/photo-worthy/meme-alicious/worth paying the extra $50/hr for}

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31

        Um, yeah. It’s a spam personal ad generator. That’s why I posted it.

        And actually you’d get to “Average woman who works 9-5.. generally more, so you can” and so on. The stuff outside of the brackets is what stays the same for each iteration of the ad; the stuff inside varies randomly depending on which value is chosen. That way each ad is slightly different.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 31

          A ha. Sure enough. I did a Google search for

          “who works” 9 5 “more, so you” “that I am” “of my” some around drinks “my ride” “and have some fun” “me with his” “and sexy” “made any sense, but who cares So”

          —notice all the quotation marks, for the unvarying parts of the spamcode—and got 1,320 hits, of which only two were YS@C.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 31

          Right, drmk, sorry — I was just trying to explain how it was supposed to process the enumerated values… I thought the non-variable text was self-explanatory. Epic fail either way.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          Isaac:

          http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/cas/1576955526.html

          Wow, even the bot is tired of unsolicited penis pictures… must be pretty bad.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          Maybe people were misinterpreting the bot’s request to be impressed with the guy’s “funny bone.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 31

          Ah, yes, you seductress… “Let us become familiar with one another,” indeed.

          *click*

          Sent.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          *looks at monitor with face screwed-up. Shows to girly friends*
          Well Graham, it’s definitely…funny.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          Oh, you’re the one who posted the ad?

          You may want to think about sanitizing your output… your arrays are leaking all over the place.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          After seeing that pic you sent to my ad, you might not want to make fun of others about ‘sanitary’ and ‘leaking’.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 31

          I thought the ad said you would be discrete [sic]. Thanks a lot. 🙁

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          True to my word, I’ve never been to Crete.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          Curses. Publicly embarrassed on the Internet due to venereal disease again…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          You wanted me to be dis-Crete, and yet here you are telling me you’ve got a disease from Venus?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          Ooh, Greek joke FTW.

          Also, that’s racist.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          You’re the one grouping all Cretans in with disease just because of that one broad. They don’t call her the ‘evening star’ for nothing, bub.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          You should really check out the number of views on our stupid forum.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          D00d 666 LOL!!!!11!!elebenty

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          I know that was stupid, but I had to before someone broke it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          What’s funny is that we stopped posting and there were less than 500 views. Maybe all the other views were the search engine bots.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          Oh, dear. I wonder what the neighbors think.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Windrose permalink

          8) Glad you two don’t feel you can’t banter here. I would miss that alot (two words). And a double negative, so what I really mean is I’m glad you do feel you can banter here.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 31

          You’re good people, Windrose (and I don’t say that just because you tolerate my antics :P).

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          Thanks, Windrose. There is that line, and Graham and I always jump back and forth across it like kids trying to infuriate their mother. And I don’t mind if people have to give me a good whack and tell me to behave, so I’m trusting you with that.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31
          Windrose permalink

          Aw, group hug! 8)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          Graham, she said hug. cut that out or we’ll both smack you. 🙂

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          It was worth a shot.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 31
      Savannah permalink

      Who or what is corey? I’ve only seen that term here.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31

        Check the second page of the YSaC Meme thread in the forum.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Savannah permalink

          And now I know. I figured it was something like that, thanks!

          Adores: 1
  13. 2010 January 31

    Perhaps she was just demonstrating her proficiency with a thesaurus?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 31
      Camille permalink

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. Thesaurus seeks same for {making little thesauri}.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 31

        …and that’s why they went extinct: no Craiglist for hookups in the Cretaceous.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 31
          Hugh Jim Bissel permalink

          …When {thesaurus | thesauri | thesauren | thesaurusseses} ruled the {earth | continent | galaxy | world}!
          /{dramatic narration | quoth the raven | that’s what she said}

          Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 31

      Are you sure {she|it} is trying to {demonstrate|test|try} thesaurus use? More likely {the|a|an}suarus.

      Adores: 0
  14. 2010 January 31
    Windrose permalink

    Wow, 28 responses! We might break 50 today! Or would that just be crazy?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 31
      Lola permalink

      It was a tiring week, birdie! Speaking of which, what sort is your avatar now? Parrot of some type?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31
        Windrose permalink

        That is Bella, a very entertaining lorikeet, no one knows exactly what cross, but probably a red lorikeet and a green nape lorikeet, but she could be a very oddly colored rainbow lorikeet. She talks very well, eats mostly a powdered nectar and fruit, is one of the heaviest birds I know, and has a feathery tongue. We are being good Samaritans, and temporarily caring for her, due to medical emergencies with her family. She is adjusting well, but wow, when her real mom comes to visit, she changes into such a lively loving bird. We’ll miss her when she goes, but at the same time when she goes, it will mean her daddy is all better.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Lola permalink

          Feathery tongue? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Cool.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          More of a brush:

          http://savelories.org/images/LoryTongueLyd4.png

          She gives kisses (“Gimmekiss! Gimmekiss!”), and that tongue feels VERY strange on one’s lip.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Lola permalink

          That’s wild! I expect it would feel strange, but in a nice way.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31
        Canio6 permalink

        I am not sure what kind of bird it is but I think we can safely say it is not. a. lion.

        Adores: 5
  15. 2010 January 31
    queensbee permalink

    it{is|Not.A. Lion.

    i need a nap now.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 31
      vickie permalink

      everything comes back to not.a.lion. {or.is.it|a.tiger}

      Adores: 1
  16. 2010 January 31

    Talk to your kids about Thesaurus, before YSaC talks to your kids about Thesaurus.

    Adores: 6
  17. 2010 January 31

    oww… This makes my brain cringe.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 1
      Windrose permalink

      The Trail of the Cringing Brain! Makes me think of the slugs in Flushed Away. EEEEEEEE! So cute. I need to see that movie again.

      Adores: 4
  18. 2010 January 31
    Stephanie permalink

    “I {don’t|do not} even {think that|believe that} made any sense.”

    No, really?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 31

      Yeah that line in the ad pretty much sums up the rest of it.

      and when you do decipher it… it’s just a “woman” who wants to find a guy to go out for drinks with. Very unnecessarily complicated.

      Adores: 1
  19. 2010 January 31
    arallyn permalink

    Unrelated to the ad, but I love love love the llamanun coffee cup and YSaC prayer! I wrote one line of it and that’s the closest I’ve come outside of science lit to being published 😛

    I would buy one if I had any money…maybe my S.O. will get me one for valentine’s day! 😀

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 31
      sarajean80 permalink

      Maybe you should {drop hints/make suggestions/ staple a note on the forehead} {to/of} {him/her/it}.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 31
        arallyn permalink

        I think I should staple a note to his head while he sleeps. Not like he’d notice, anyhow.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 31
          Windrose permalink

          arallyn, while he is sleeping, open his wallet, get the credit card, order it for yourself, and thank him profusely when it arrives. He won’t remember if he ordered it or not, likely. 8)

          Adores: 6
  20. 2010 January 31
    (Ed Snyder) permalink

    In {Soviet Russia|Communist China|Imperialist America},{bed|easy chair|armoore} is {in|on|next to|adjacent to|across the galaxy from} {smart|sexy|Picasso-esquely proportioned} {gal|girl|guy|gorilla|gourd}.

    Adores: 13
  21. 2010 January 31
    Traveler permalink

    I think that she has been posessed by the spirit of {The Joker/Ferdinand de Saussure}: {“If I’m going to have a date, I prefer it to be multiple choice”/She is exemplifying the concept of Paradigmatic Relations on Lynguistics}.

    Come to think of it, I don’t know which one of the two possibilities is scarier…

    Wait, I know: Ferdindand de Saussure is scarier. By far.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 31
      Lola permalink

      You’re right about that, Traveler. I hated those classes. If I have to have therapy for thinking about that again, I’ll send you the bill. 😉

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31
        Traveler permalink

        You can join me in the therapy. My Linguistics professor on my first year of college was around 80 years old and partially mummified. His teaching method consisted on placing his textbook on his table and reading it word by word on a deep monotone. And he made the whole subject even more nightmarishly complicated than it already is.

        On the other hand, I learned two things thanks to him: that college was much harder than high school and that it wasn’t really worth it going to every class. In fact, in december of that year, little more than two months into the course, I started skipping 90% of the linguistic classes and never looked back.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          I had a history teacher like that (entire class spent reading the book word-for-word in monotone)… the class was more of a nap-time than a learning experience. I’d read the chapters on my own over lunch, did fine on all the tests.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31
          Lola permalink

          I tried (note “tried“) taking psycholinguistics and the psycho- prefix was important here, as the instructor was INSANE. She did things like write on the overhead projector (do people even use those any more?) and not notice it wasn’t turned on, and even when it was she had this frightening cackle throughout the lectures. I dropped the class, the only time I did (called my mom and told her I was taking summer school to make it up and would pay for that on my own, as my sanity was totally worth it – and it was) and also never looked back.
          I couldn’t avoid the critical theory classes in grad school, but all you have to do is name one of the people we cited – Deleuze, de Saussure, etc., and nearly 15 years later I will still hyperventilate. I had a good instructor, but … as I type this I find my nostrils flaring in disgust/rage. It was interesting to a point, and I wrote good papers, but ultimately found it to be fairly useless crap (and I’m being kind here) as I disliked the hot discussion about stuff that was ultimately utterly theoretical.
          /rant

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          No joke, Lola. I went to a mental health seminar at UW for counselors, teachers of special needs kids and the like. If Woodstock and Comic-Con had an illegitimate love child, that wasit.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31
          Lola permalink

          “Woodstock and Comic-Con had an illegitimate love child”
          *hides*

          Adores: 2
  22. 2010 January 31
    Crump permalink

    Perhaps this {bot|spammer|ad generator} was trying to use {quantum uncertainty|freaky science} to gain an edge in the competitive world of Craigslist spam.

    See, we know the ad’s exact location, {Craigslist|YSaC}, but are unable to determine what it says. Like Schrödinger’s {cat|parrot|llama} all possible states of existence become superimposed. The {cat|parrot|llama} is {dead|alive} and this ad {works|is broken|makes me need a drink}.

    Adores: 6
  23. 2010 January 31
    Maureen permalink

    I like the fact that one line actually acknowledges that part/all of the rest made no sense.

    Also, can anybody see my nice new gravatar? I liked my quilt square, but my little girl Elise is way cuter.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 31

      I see some kind of white fuzzy critter. kitten? ferret? rat?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31
        Maureen permalink

        Ferret. This is my one-pound wonder Elise, fast asleep in what she evidently finds to be a comfortable sleeping position. That’s her back feet crossed and draped casually over her own head, there. Her front feet are below her face. Only a mustelid can {sleep in|enjoy|actually obtain} that position.

        Adores: 1
  24. 2010 January 31
    Maureen permalink

    Twisted Ferret and the Spambots are here with us tonight to {present|promote|shamelessly flog} their new single, Fatal Coding Errors, from their debut album, Regular|Normal|Standard.

    Adores: 9
  25. 2010 January 31
    Windrose permalink

    Sorry, no punches today, kids. Better luck tomorrow.

    On a side note, it occurred to me that some people do not celebrate their personal birthdays for religious or other reasons. I hope I haven’t badgered anyone of that belief, and made you feel insulted or harassed. I wholeheartedly apologize if I have done so, and hope you will forgive me.

    Everyone else, what are you waiting for? 8)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 31

      That’s RACIST!!!
      Okay, no it’s not. If people feel insulted or harassed, they don’t have to come play. I can’t find any time that you have outright said something bigoted or hurtful. Alot of people like the strange comaraderie that these little side-notes on themselves brings.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31

        Alot of people like the strange comaraderie that these little side-notes on themselves brings.

        Are you talking about announcing their birthdays or being called a racist?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          Both, from what I’ve seen. Personally, I’d love for the YSaC clan to stand outside my door on Aug 20 and scream ‘Racist!’
          Although it may not turn out well with the variety of neighbors I have now.
          It would make for an interesting obituary.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 31

          Lousy obituaries these days never list the cause of death. Laaaaaaame.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31

        **cough cough** A lot is two words **cough cough**

        **cough cough** Also, camaraderie is with an a. **cough cough**

        And shouldn’t brings be in the plural, as bring?

        </pedant>

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 31

          I hear that alot, you all.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          Mother-in-law? Is that…you?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31

          It’s a tough crowd tonight.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 31

      I’d rather be badgered by a parrot than the other way around, I think.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 31
        Windrose permalink

        A parroting badger would be very scary, indeed! And still Not. A. Lion.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 1

          Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers …. awwk!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 31
      christina permalink

      It may be a while before I have the time to fire up the old laptop and try to register again but I took a lok at the list so far and my birthday has already been claimed by Graham T. I’m willing to share the day with him, but I draw the line at BVDs.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 31
        Windrose permalink

        It was tough squeezing you both in to the same cell, but I did the warp text thing. Or is that wrap text?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 1

          I’m special: I was in her spreadsheet before anyone else here.

          Adores: 1
  26. 2010 January 31

    In the interests of science, I tried translating this ad into Dutch and back again via Babelfish:

    {Regular|Normal|Standard|Ordinary|Typical|Usual|Average} {little girl|Galle|lady|woman} who works {9 up to 5|9-5}. {sometimes|now and then|frequently|from time to time|typical|generally} more, so that you can {|be possible|were possible|would be possible|would have|manage||} {would have be possible conjecture|think|understand|calculate} that I am {bored|tired|} omhoog fed of my {job|the work|career} and {workers|associates|staff}.

    Nope, still unreadable.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 31

      What the omhoog…?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31
        Lola permalink

        omhoog = Buddhist Moog synth

        /obscurity so freakish that not even I get my jokes

        *signs off and goes to bed*

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 31

          Moogs are awesome.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 31
          Windrose permalink

          LOL Lola, I spent part of my day with a lay Buddhist group, chanting. It’s really invigorating.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31
          christina permalink

          I totally get it Lola. Though I probably wouldn’t have had I not married {a/an} {indie musician/art rocker/pseudo-hipster/music snob}.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 1

      When did the Galle get mixed up in all of this?? It used to be such a reputable establishment….

      Adores: 1
  27. 2010 January 31
    Addicted Reader permalink

    I’ve had trouble loading YSaC since last night. This is the first time I’ve been able to comment al day. It was horrible!

    Of course, by now, most of the good jokes about the ad have been made, and I can’t think of anything else.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 31

      Just knowing that you’re with us in heart and mind is enough.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 31
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Aww, that was sweet.

        (The like me. They really like me!)

        : D

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 31

          What’s scarier is that we’re like you. We’re really like you.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 February 1

          I’m going to go with 60% scary, 40% comforting.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 1

          You mean like the Snuggle fabric softener bear? awww…cute…ohmygawdget it off!!!!

          Adores: 3
  28. 2010 February 1

    The other part of this spammer’s program, I am sure, selects from a random assortment of pictures of rubber duckies.

    Adores: 5
  29. 2010 February 1

    If y’all only knew how badly I need to laugh this morning….

    ..as I wipe the tears, and stifle the snortle…I say, thank you kids.

    Adores: 0
  30. 2010 February 1
    Rick permalink

    Yay my submission got posted!
    Seriously, this WAS a “legit” ad in the fact it was in the Baltimore Craigslist.

    Adores: 0
  31. 2010 February 8
    Frank permalink

    Found this in use!

    Cum & Play – w4m – 18
    Date: 2010-01-10, 9:17AM MST
    Reply To This Post

    Regular girl who works 9 to 5 Mondays to Saturday..sometimes more, so you can guess that I am bored of my job and co workers. Need some more excitement around.
    Went out with some friends and had a few drinks, had to come home because my ride wanted to go, but i still wanted to go out and have some fun. I am petite girl looking for a man to dazzle me with his sense of humor and sexy personality. I don’t even think that made any sense, but who cares! Anyone out there?
    So let’s get to know each other, I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.

    Adores: 0
  32. 2010 December 1

    i have so many funny bones in myself that is why i would love to be a comedian -:,

    Adores: 0

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