YSaC, Vol. 574: Is six aces a good hand?
2010 February 11
Newer hexagonal POKER TABLE TOPPER green felt w/inlaid cup/chip trays – $75
Purchased new and used a few times. REVERSIBLE hex-shaped poker table topper. Perfect atop a standard card table or most any table. Measures 49″ across, from each angle. Folds in half and stores in a custom carrying bag. Felt covered with black jack dealer markings on one side. Blank on the other side, for general card or other games. Seats 8 positions. Insertable cup/chip holders. Table topper is in GREAT condition.
Hexagonal, you say? And it seats eight positions at those six sides? Mmm-hmmm.
Oops, it’s my turn to bet. Okay, I’ll bet eight chips. Ante up, Sparky! … um, Sparky? That was only six chips. You need to bet eight. Oh, never mind.
Thanks, Aaron!
I see your hexagonal seats eight topper, and raise you a red table and a French Prevential Armwoir. (I got a good hand!)
I’m guessing that if this seller has a pet, it’s a hexpus. With eight legs.
I totally want a hexpus.
If you have an octopus and a pair of shears, I can get you a hexpus.
Isaac, PETA is on line two for you.
If you had two octopi, a pair of shears, and a needle and thread you could make a hexpus and a decipus.
I prefer turning a terrier into a fish.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3Q2HZRjHHQ
Punchline to hexpus joke: “Play it? As soon as I get it out of its pajamas, I’m gonna screw it!”
That is possibly my favorite joke ever.
Mine too, Lola!
Yall are idiots it seats 8 there are 8 sides, not six. Wow didn’t anyone actually count before you started making fun of their bad math?
Thank you, Captain Obvious! I never thought to count the actual sides!
Clearly, by “hex,” the poster means that the table top has been hexed by an evil witch.
Yes, she cast a -2 Inability to Count spell on him.
Stop signs must confuse the hell out of this guy.
Six sides but seats eight players? No wonder I suck at card games. They are harder than Cat Math.
Lola: Cat math AND card games….the streams have crossed!
http://www.prettyhazel.com/Graphics/cats_playing_poker-2aa.jpg
That black one in the middle looks just like mine. Bet he’s a cheat.
Cat Math isn’t hard!
This is Cat Geometry, one of the many sub-disciplines of Cat Math.
Cat Geometry is hard stuff.
Cat Law of Complimentary Angles:
Complimentary angles are two angles which add up to Ohio.
It’s greatly simplified if you just remember that in Cat Geometry PI almost always contains hair. Also, Cat Geometry is in many ways simpler than human Geometry since cats don’t worry about silly things like proofs–if a cat believes it, that’s all the proof required.
Egads! What on earth does that make Cat Topology?
Schrodinger’s Cat (1d2) = handle-less coffee cup (2d6) or jelly donut (id20)?
Or, am I merely having a quantum anxiety attack (3d10)?
If you are you will have to roll for damages.
I have improved initiative though, don’t I get a preemptive strike of opportunity in this situation?
You are such a rogue.
You are suddenly encompassed by a rain of flambeaux.
Nice one.
Did you roll for that, or was that picked lovingly from your dictionotomy?
Will it fit on my porker table?
This poster could benefit from some intensive M&M math sessions.
Unexpected benefits of reading YSaC… if you want to drive away your annoying co-workers, small children, cats, etc., just try loudly saying POKER TABLE TOPPER five times, fast. Keep going til you get it right.
It works.
Seriously. Not. A. Hexagon.
Maybe it’s only a hexagon on ONE side. I mean, it is reversible.
In that case, I must have this table topper. I’ve never owned anything that could bend space before.
Uh, don’t you have cats?
While they do defy all known logic and reason (and occasionally physics), I consider myself owned by them rather than owning them.
My cats have always let me own them. If only because they realized it amounted to considerably less effort on their part if I got to be the owner.
Perhaps when you project the 8 sides through time you end up with a 4th dimentional hexagon?
Imagine, playing poker at a 4D hexagon! There’d be room enough for everyone to play! As long as there were only 8 of us.
I can see it now; Coming to ESPN2 – Cage Match Poker!
I would watch that. I insist on blood though. Maybe razor sharp poker chips that you could use like ninja stars and spontaneously exploding cards.
4D hexagon? Cool.
Wait, wouldn’t you have to roll a factorial, uh, 24 die to determine whether you were or were not a given location/nexus of the table to see if your quantum state permitted a bet?
Hmmm, could this all be a result of of the LHC? We are perceiving “sides” as a result of expression through the 5th or 7th spatial dimension only because the flux state of a recreated Higg’s Boson has not reached us yet (but has reached the CL poster)?
O the Muons, how they leapt for Charm and Love amidst the Leptons
You know… all this talk makes me feel fine about my descent into trekkie-dom. I am such an uber-nerd. Just another reminder why I like it here. =D
Didn’t Werner Heisenberg have a table just like this?
He may have. It’s uncertain.
I think Schrödinger may or may not have had the same table.
Schrödinger mainly used his table for Cat Poker/Math. I hear it was really difficult to tell when the cat who might or might not be dead was bluffing or not?
I hate playing poker with Schödinger’s cat. He’ll never show you what hand he has unless you call him.
You people are sheer awesome
Oh, I see what happened. You see, the table is a mixture of both six- and eight-sided. However, when we observe it, it collapses into a definite state. For us, that’s an octagon. For him, it was a hexagon.
This would make a perfect present for Squiddly Diddly. He could play all eight hands by himself
Reminds me of the time in elementary (not grade) school they had us doing math problems in Base 8. You know, if you fold this table topper in half, can you still seat six people at the four positions?
Oh my god, don’t talk about Base 8! My head asplode!
I remember when I used to hang with the guys at the bar all the time and they used to brag about getting to 8th base…
Oh wow. I am trying to imagine what 8th base would be.
I’m pretty sure it’s after you’ve had the second child and are thinking about buying a minivan.
I thought it had something to do with the back of the left knee. I might be thinking about base 6…
All your base 8 are belong to us.
*Cracks Knuckles*
Hexagon – 8 = Foldable + Reversable
8 = (Foldable + Reversable)/Hexagon
8*cat = (Foldable + Reversable)*Octogon
cat = Foldable + Reversable
Therefore:
Hexagon – 8 = cat
8 = Hexagon – cat
cat = 2.
You should own 2 cats.
Wait, what?
P.S. All math was done by my cat fluffy. Apparently she wants a sibling. Please blame all the sign change failures on her, as she’s just a cat.
“Just a cat”? “JUST a CAT”???!!!
I am sorry, but I simply cannot allow another insult of yours to go unchallenged. Yesterday it was the proud and noble Computer Gremlin you were maligning. Today it is the brilliant and elegant Cat. How, my dear sir, do you live with yourself? How do you look at yourself in the mirror, in all your taco-sexy-finger-y individuality, and then turn to your fellow man/cat/computer gremlin and judge them??!!!
I have a dream, that one day…cats and computer gremlins, and taco-y..things…will live in harmony. I dare to believe that this dream CAN and WILL come true.
I appologize for the slight against you.
However, before proceeding I do have a request:
4 + 5 = x
Solve for x please.
You want us to solve for X?
Nein!
Everyone always get so excited about X. It’s X, not sex, people. Solve for X, all the time. But does anyone ever ask themselves, “What does X do for me?” I’m betting that unless X is your mistress, informant or espionage contact, the answer is nothing. That’s what X is … X = 0.
Screw solving for x. I need someone to wash out my head. Last night’s party was pretty intense.
Bacontini still not talking to you NA-Lionel. You cheezed Bacontini off at the party last night, and he not forgive you so easy.
Bacontini has feelings too, and he think you no gouda for what you did. Bacontini, he used to tink you were da cream of da crop. But now he tink you only stringing him along.
Bacontini, whatever Not-A-Lionel did to offend you, Not-A-Lionel is sorry. Did my cheddar overflow into your personal space? It meunster’ve to make you so angry. My apologies for the lack of snacktastic containment and also talking in the third person. And really bad pun. *air kisses*
X=mass?
Bacontini tink dat dis is what it sound like when doves cry.
4 + 5 = x
Solve for x please.
Easy X = half-stride (unless a six-toed cat)
CF: Scout wants to know if you’ve seen her ham costume.
TM: You forgot to account for the worm holes. This gem “folds in half” which allows for the Spacetime Continuum to do its thing and “bend space”; hence setting into motion the Octohex Continuum Rule #34 which states that 6s and 8s are totally interchangeable in Space [where no one can hear you scream or play poker].
Yes, Scout, I at–saw your costume. I, uh, I think you left it out by the trash. Sorry about that.
Oh, and x? X = whatever I damn well want it to equal at the moment! THAT is CAT-MATH!
Catticus: why do you have pork on your whiskers?
Catticus! I love this! I need to get another cat according to Taco’s logic and I am torn between naming it Catticus or Osama Bin Bugsy.
I’m picturing a cat dressed as a gladiator, crying out in a tiny cat voice “I AM CATTICUS!” while waving a little sword around.
I might need to get out more.
sarajean, you probably get out enough. It’s when you start staging that scene in your home with your own cats and then posting the invites on CL that you’ll need to get out more.
We know the signs. We’ll let you know.
O good, then I can go back to glueing this aluminum foil to the walls of my bedroom so the little aliens living in the studs can’t read my dreams.
(For free, at least.I’m this close to hammering out a syndication deal with their overlord,Ulmik the Terrifingly Pale.)
Guys, you are all blind.
What we have here is a regular hexadecagon. It has 16 angles, alternating between 135° and 180°. And if the seller wrote hexagon instead of hexadecagon, that’s just because he is a nerd who is on friendly terms with anything hexadecimal, and lovingly calls it “hex”.
informavorette, you just got your first Corey Creds. Congrats!
I am so lost on the Corey thing, I obviously missed something.
It’s in the meme post on the forums:
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?page_id=3282&vasthtmlaction=viewtopic&t=41.1
It’s on the second page.
Hmm I’m not sure why you think that. I read the link TacoMagic posted, and it seemed to me that corey was somebody who seriously defended the poster of the CL ad. On the other hand, I made a comment which superficially seems to defend the CL seller, but the explanation I gave for his word choice was so absurd that I thought it was an obvious joke. Maybe I should put my nose outside the institute for computer science for a change and remember that in the real world, not everybody laughs at math jokes…
If you are wondering why a maths buff would find my first comment funny: a hexadecagon is a figure with sixteen sides and sixteen angles. But a 180° angle is a straight line, so a “hexadecagon” with 8 angles à 180° is just an octagon. And nerds really do call hexadecimals “hex”, but they also have enough math knowledge and enough need for precision in language (comes from writing code) to never call a hexadecagon a hexagon.
Corey Creds can be both seriously or ironically given. Your first one got ironic CCs (you tipped your hand by using the word “lovingly”), but your second, even though you noted the humor, can get serious CCs for actually having the full explanation. Actually, they could be ironically serious CCs since you were explaining a joke! Originally Corey did not seem to have any humor, but you did, so don’t take the reference as an aspersion. We welcome all comments (except trolling/spamming, of course), particularly if they really do enlighten.
I hope this makes sense. No caffeine intake yet might mean the phrasing is hazy, but I hope the intent is clear – no offense meant. And perhaps not today, but it’s not unlikely that someone here will in fact laugh at your math jokes. Keep making any you find suitable – or even merely because they are funny.
Lola, you get a CC for your explination of CCs
Is the carrying bag it comes in a magicians bag, per chance? The kind where with a little slight of hand you put into it an octogon, and it comes out a hexagon? Maybe everyone sees a hexagon, because they believe they are going to see one.
It’s the Emperor’s New Poker Table Topper?
Perhaps the “extra” two places are reserved for World Poker Tour commentators Mike Sexton Vincent Van Patten……….
Ugh. All this math is making my head hurt.
x 2
Bacontini suddenly realized dat da poker table topper looks awfully happy to see him. Perhaps it is a lady?
Hello Lady Poker Topper, Bacontini is here for you! He love your beautiful smile and your full chip holders. Yes, Bacontini shall show you a night on da town not soon forgotten.
What, you say you fold both ways? Bacontini has heard this, and it sets Bacontini afire with amorous intentions. Come, da night, she is still young and alive wit da possibilities of love.
Did I hear you say you liked full-figured ladies with beautiful smiles?
I was going to remark that the table was leering at me …
Love the icon, Topper!
Why, thank you ladycrim!
I think that Bacontini fellow is toying with my affections, though.
Those meat-flavored alcoholic berverages are all the same. I should have learned my lesson from the SlimJim Beam.
Bacontini tink dat perhaps you type much faster den him. He not mean to toy with your emotions, he only need da time to express his intentions with da words of passion!
Plus, Bacontini is a cocktail. He find it very difficult to type in any language; even da language of love.
You are forgiven, my manly meat-based brew of desire! I long to embrace you with my green felt. My inlaid cup holders burn for you! (I’m on medication for that, I swear.Two,three weeks, tops)
Yes, Bacontini is anamoured wit your beautiful smile! He want to show you dat if you take a gamble wit Bacontini, he deal you da cards of love. He want to get to know all six of your eight sides! Come, let us walk and talk of the mysteries of life, love, and fried pork products.
Be gentle, Bacontini! I been used a few times before.
And don’t forget to use a coaster. 😉
Topper is felt. Repeatedly.
Get a room, you two.
Or a casino.
Don’t trust Bacontini! He will get you drunk and take advantage of you! And don’t even start on the Cholesterol.
Next time on “As the Topper Folds”:
Bacontini: “What you mean it Bacontini’s baby? Bacontini cannot have children since da accident!”
*Change Scene*
Corey: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! The shell of this car is a DA shell!”
Lara: “Nice try, but I know that your real name isn’t corey at all! And that shell is minty.”
*Change Scene*
Topper: “Don’t play dumb with me Bacontini! Mudslicker told me about your affair with NA-Lionel. Tell me: was it worth it, was it?” *Fires her pistol*
*Fade to black*
+1 billion
Ohh, nice! I didn’t know I was such a badass.
At least I didn’t wake up with amnesia, covered in mysterious grease stains.
Been there, done that, out on bail.
You forgot the part about when Snooki came in with sand in her….er, um…..hair poof and sucking on a pickle she picked out of The Situation’s…. er, um…..refrigerated Vlasic receptacle..while Ronnie was making a Sammy….and all Pauly could do was say….”…’jay-wow, could ya hand me some Vinny—I mean vinyl?”
*fade to the whirling lights of a boardwalk Ferris wheel*
–May Seaside Heights rest in peace……
Seriously, I count 8 sides… is this some kinda optical illusion? Why can’t I count 6?? I have always been bad at math… but this bad??? OH! I get it… it is the ‘hex’ part. (hangs head in shame) I am even worse with shapes.
Shapes still love you. They are very forgiving.
Except for squares. They can be so…rigid.
Squares may be rigid but circles are well-rounded. Hexagons? Well, they’re just…hexagonal.
Ok, honestly when Sparky said chip and cup holders I was picturing a cup holder and a place for your Doritos. I would be much more interested in the topper if that was the case. I also immediately thought of Carey Grant in Topper http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0029682/
Sadly Sparky was not thinking of either of these things. And that topper is not worth $75. Maybe if it bent the space time continuum or existed in a fourth dimension but even then I would haggle.
*Weeping* I’m only one gambling accessory! There is only so much I can do!
*louder sobs, nearly hysterical* Please don’t put me back in the closet! It’s dark and the monkeys frighten me.
It is ok, Topper. You will always be welcome here.
There are three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who cannot.
What about the other two types? Wait, is this cat Math in base 8?
*hides, whimpering under the badger-painted coffee table*
Well, given that catmath is (typically) base 18 in human math (except for where it is Base 2); then Base 8 |feline| ought to be really mind bending.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world:
Those who know binary,
and a bunch more, too many to list.
psst, Bacontini, your accent is slipping!
Double-stick tape can prevent an accent from slipping. Or a safety pin. Superglue?
Every Blinking Time I Click on the Blinking Submit Comment Button I go to a white screen that tells me:
400 Bad Request
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???
I know we say it all the time, but do the clear cache/history thing. It seems to do the trick for me.
Punches all around for WIK, Lola, Mr. White, and lost_compass! Good work, crew! (I’ll be back as soon as it will let me)
Awesome. I’m no TacoSexyFingersMagic but I’m always excited to get in the box. And the punch!
Did anyone else notice that it says “poker table” topper and yet the only non-blank side is actually a BLACKJACK table topper?
Purchased both new and used? And a few times? How’d they swing that?
I don’t really see the stupidity of this one. It’s hexagonal but has 8 corners, therefore 8 potential playing places. Sure they said hex-shaped but on the other hand they also appear literate unlike the majority of the posts…
…yes.
Hexagon
It also has 8 sides. Meaning it is not.a.hexagon.