YSaC, Vol. 595: He was shot (down) in the night!

2010 March 4

Men! Want money? Here’s a woman (maybe) who will pay you!

I’ll pay you! – w4m

The devil’s always in the details, though, isn’t it? Let’s see what they want you to do…

All I need you to do is to take a picture..

Well, that doesn’t seem too hard, does it?

1-) You can’t be seeing.

You want a BLIND man to take your picture? O-kaaaay

2-) I need a clear face pic or whole body.
3-) You take the pic, and give it to me.
4-) You get $200 and we never see each other again.

If he’s blind, he wouldn’t have seen you in the first place, right?

I’ll give you all the info, You must have a car… Discretion is advised!

Must have a CAR? A BLIND GUY? I should THINK he’d want to be discreet about that. I’m not sure how much LUCK he’d have, however. Presumably a blind person driving around might be a tad conspicuous. Although it’s certainly theoretically possible:

No games! also let me know, when can you do it, I need it as soon is possible!
DO NOT EMAIL ME ASKING FOR A PIC.. I need you take a picture to someone else…If you are afraid, Don’t bother!

Wait, I’m confused. Is the driving blind guy supposed to give YOU the picture, or take it to someone else?

You know what? Unlike a LOT of the things we post here, this actually makes me HAPPY I have functioning eyeballs.

Thanks for the link, Diana!

173 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 March 4

    So…. does she have pics?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 4

      We should email her to ask. Maybe she could take a picture of herself and bring it to us. Or to someone else.

      Adores: 4
  2. 2010 March 4
    penguin permalink

    If someone took her up on her offer, he would have to have blind faith that she would actually pay him.

    Adores: 2
  3. 2010 March 4
    mudslicker permalink

    You get $200 and we never see each other again.

    Well duh, this is a given for at least ONE of us.

    Adores: 4
  4. 2010 March 4
    arallyn permalink

    True story: My boyfriend’s mom, who is very blind, owns an SUV. It functions as a cat bed in the garage. She also drove while her eyesight was deteriorating until the state of North Dakota refused to renew her license when she came in with a blind cane and dark glasses.

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 March 4
      Windrose permalink

      She should have come to California. They are so desperate for money, they wouldn’t have failed her. 8)

      Adores: 2
  5. 2010 March 4

    Any theories on what the poster actually meant by “you can’t be seeing”?

    I’m stumped.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 4
      mudslicker permalink

      I think they meant to say in YSaC-speak

      “You can’t be seen.”

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 4

        Ah. So this is like a game of “Secret Saucy Photo Courier.”

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 4
          mudslicker permalink

          Yes…very covert and super secret…ssshhhhh!

          Must have your very own Polaroid Swinger camera.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 4
      jackie31337 permalink

      My theory is that she meant the photo would be taken with a camera that still uses film, and the photographer would not see the developed photo. Remember the days when you couldn’t see your photos until the prints came back? (I feel old)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 4
        mudslicker permalink

        You don’t have to wait if it’s a Polaroid Swinger. Ali McGraw says so.
        🙂

        Meet the swinger, Polaroid swinger,
        Meet the swinger, Polaroid swinger
        It’s more than a camera
        It’s almost alive,
        It’s only 19 dollars and 95.
        Swing it up [yeah yeah] , it says yes [yeah yeah]
        Take the shot, count it down, rip it off
        .

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7k2uwJmwxo

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4

          I remember this commercial, mudsy. And if I’m not mistaken, one of the other beach bunnies looks like it could be Peggy Lipton of Mod Squad fame (toward the end at the .45 mark).

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 4
        sarajean80 permalink

        I remember the good ol’ days, when you had to make a special trip and wait at least an hour to find out how bad a photographer you were. I have a shoebox filled with photos of people from the chin down or the nose up.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          mudslicker permalink

          My downfall was always……

          RED EYE!!!!!!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 4
          TacomMmagic permalink

          Mine was lense thumb. Every picture I took in highshool looks like some naked guy had just run by the picture and I managed to catch just his bottom.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Ugh, yes!
          That and the blown-out,too-close-full-face-flash, which made your subject look like a paper plate with eyes.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          TacomMmagic permalink

          … my friend WAS a paper plate with eyes. I called him platey.

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 March 4

          I still have trouble with red eye sometimes, but I never know if it’s the camera or the champagne . . . they both start with “c” so it sometimes gets a bit befuzzled in my mind.

          Adores: 2
  6. 2010 March 4
    penguin permalink

    Now I have the song “I Go Blind” playing over and over in my head. Fortunately I like the song. But I may not by the end of the day.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 4
      Dan permalink

      Not the song reference I was shooting for, but any time I can unleash an Ohrwurm on the unsuspecting public, I’m happy.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 4
      IrishFish permalink

      “Now I have the song “I Go Blind” playing over and over in my head. ”

      And now…so do I. That will be rattling around in there for a while . Eh cripes!

      Adores: 0
  7. 2010 March 4
    mudslicker permalink

    You’ll be shot down in the night
    Shot down like a not. a. lion….

    lalalalalala

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 4

      He was shot down in the night.
      People drive by, but his body’s still alive.
      Girl in the window—what has she done?
      She looks down at me, and says,
      “DO NOT EMAIL ME ASKING FOR A PIC… I need you to take a picture to someone else… If you are afraid, Don’t bother!

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 March 4
        Dan permalink

        THAT’S the one I had in mind.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4

          It took me a second. I knew I was recognizing the phrase, but I had to let the song “play” in my head before I realized why it was the title of today’s post.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 4
        mudslicker permalink

        That sounds like a literal lyrics version and….it rocks!!!!

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 4

        Hahaha! I was just about to (attempt) to write a parody of this song using this posting, but you beat me to it. Good job!

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Oh, no, earwormed by Tourism Jamaica; I’ve now got all the Marleys, living, dead, and undead, in a great sing-a-long of Shot Down In the Night with I Shot the Sheriff in syncopated round choruses . . .

      And, and, and I have a craving for jerk chicken and rocky road ice cream . . . ja’mon mah zombie pawdah owhn mine f’sah

      EOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOM

      Adores: 0
  8. 2010 March 4
    Admiral Akbar permalink

    It’s a trap!

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 March 4
      Windrose permalink

      So, you’ll be going, then?

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 4
      Miss C permalink

      I always think everything could be a trap, which is why I’m still alive.

      Adores: 14
      • 2010 March 4
        TacomMmagic permalink

        I’ve got my country’s five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I’m swamped.

        Adores: 14
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Funny, I never pictured you as a “Humperdink”.
          More like a “Miracle Max”.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          TacomMmagic permalink

          Well, if that’s the case:

          Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 4
          Oh-Steve permalink

          He said “They’re so perky” hehehe.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4

          Oh Steve, don’t try to stand-in for me.
          I’m only mostly dead.
          Humperdink, Humperdink, Humperdink!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          Lurker From the North permalink

          He didn’t say ‘true love’, he said, ‘to blave’ which as everyone knows means to bluff!

          Adores: 2
  9. 2010 March 4

    Blind Guys driving around? Hmm…explains the Braille on the drive-thru ATM.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 March 4
      Lola permalink

      Yeah, that has scared me ever since I first noticed it.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 4

        Seriously…exactly how many scenarios can you conjure that require Braille on a drive-thru ATM? I can think of two – driving up and walking up – either of them can keep me awake at night.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          I work at a bank and have actually seen the Braille keyboard in use. The driver pulled up so that the passenger seated behind him could use the ATM.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          Sarajean, I will sleep just a little better at night now. Why do none of us think of this?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          I thought the same thing ’til I saw someone do it. Then you have a big “Well, duh!” moment.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 4
        CapnMac permalink

        Have to [corey] here from having drawn one too many sets of bank blueprints. The nice people who make bank equipment make it for both walk-up and drive-through use without discrimination. It is to we who have to draw the details to get the installation elevations right.
        [/corey]

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          The one at my branch is a drive-thru, it is possible to walk up to it but it’s not something I recommend to my members.

          ‘Cause, you know, the cars.

          (Yes, I have people come inside to ask if they have to drive up to the ATM. Which is outside. In the drive-thru lanes. Clearly marked with great big signs. )

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          CapnMac permalink

          SJ, I just had to laugh.
          We built a facilty and let the nice people at Diebold talk the client into using all video-equipped equipment, even the lobby service. To this day, the concierge gets asked “Where are the tellers?” Then said worthy has to walk a person over to the video-teller area.

          Where the tellers then usually get to experience a pet peeve. At the drive-through, they look at the big plate of armor-glass, not the video pickup (teller gets to talk to an ear). At the walk-up, the customer watches the CRT, not the video pickup (teller gets to talk to top of the head).

          That client has not gone back to all-video after that building.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 4
      andrea permalink

      Shoot, 75% of Volvo drivers are blind, what’s the big deal?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 4
        TacomMmagic permalink

        The same can be said of 90% of the people driving in Wisconsin.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Or Florida

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Or North Carolina.
          I’m sorry to say I took the test six times before getting my license; among the various reasons that I failed were failure to yield, running over a curb in the parking lot, and driving on the wrong side of the road(also in a parking lot)
          Quite frankly, I’m surprised I passed at all. (I’ve gotten better. I almost always drive on the right side of the road now)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 March 4
          Colleen in MA permalink

          @sarajean80 Please tell me you text while you drive, too!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Sorry to disappoint, but no. That’s recently been made illegal in my state. (’bout damn time) and I’m not much for the whole texting thing anyway.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 4

        I am NOT blind. I drive two Volvos.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 5
          Meredith permalink

          At the same time???!!! That’s a whole new twist to “Ghost Ride the Whip”.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 6
          andrea permalink

          One for each eye?

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 4
        IrishFish permalink

        “Shoot, 75% of Volvo drivers are blind, what’s the big deal?”

        I must be tired. I read this the first time as, “75% of all velcro drivers are blind”. Velcro drivers? What are they? No idea. Again, must be tired.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Velcro Drivers? They are at the 20 Watt 2nite, opening for Must Drive Blind. $5 and a canned food item.

          Adores: 3
  10. 2010 March 4
    tigprincess permalink

    I’ve got a camera with a remote button! Cost less than $200 and I can take more than one photo of me. Confused? You won’t be *keeps humming strage tunes*

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 4
      TacomMmagic permalink

      That’s ok Tgr; I’ve already got a camera hidden in her home. I can take care of it. *eye twitches*

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 6

      What are strage tunes? At first I assumed it was a typo but then I wasn’t sure so I googled it but the hits were all either completely irrelevant or not in English. Which is actually pretty normal as I live in China.

      Adores: 0
  11. 2010 March 4
    Windrose permalink

    I’ll be back later to punch Miki’s card. 8)

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 4
      Miki permalink

      But I haven’t even posted anything yet. At least allow me the opportunity to let some snark fly before you go punching my card.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 4
        Lola permalink

        Nah, that’s for your feature in the You Don’t Suck box, from yesterday’s post. Congrats!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          Miki permalink

          I totally missed that. I feel so accomplished now.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          They are not always updated simultaneous to the day’s post, so sometimes you have to check later. Sometimes I try to guess in advance which it might be. I’ve actually gotten it a few times, but also like when drmk/dan feature a good dark horse too.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          TacomMmagic permalink

          If you get a bunch of punches, you get a free coffee. It’s minty!

          @Lola: And they’re also not above using the box to torment their commenters from time to time.

          For the record: I do not visit any forums about the topic of Miley Cyrus… anymore.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          Taco,
          BWAH! That’s right, occasionally the featured commenter does not feel complimented by being chosen. However, at least you have your massive link to console you. That, and your son, Creepy (or whatever intriguing diminutive you favor today). 😀

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          TacomMmagic permalink

          I’ve been favoring “Crank-Monster” and “Barfy” as of late. And that second nickname is entirely earned!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          Oh-Steve permalink

          “cheval noir” huh Lola? I want to be a dark horse! It seems so….mysterious.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          Dan permalink

          We usually write the posts several days to several weeks in advance and schedule them to post between 9-10 eastern. Obviously, we can’t do that for “You Don’t Suck,” because for some odd reason, you folks aren’t writing your comments several weeks in advance of actually seeing the post.

          That explains the different posting times. The box is updated when drmk or I actually have a moment to go through and update it manually during the day.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Some comments for future posts;

          Get a room!

          The shell, it is minty!

          Seriously?

          I’m nominating that for band name of the day.

          We should get SilvaNoir to draw a picture of that.

          TmMmMmM is waving his massive link around again.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 March 4
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Taco’s massive link is so massive it has a console? I’m….trying not to imagine where the cup holder is. Or the dimmer switch. Heh.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Ooh, I have some future posts too.

          March 28, 2010: It looks like a cat eating a turnip with a lampshade on it’s head to me!

          April 3, 2010: I think Graham ran out of duct tape on that one!

          Obamauary 43, 3093: Well, of course, he’s an asshat He’s from Alpha Centuri!

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 March 4
          TacomMmagic permalink

          Since we’re putting this out there, I’ve had my replies to Bianchi’s posts ready for a good two months already. Keep in mind, I usually don’t queue up any posts for the weekend so that my posting bot can have a few days off:

          March 28, 2010: (Sunday, no post)

          April 3, 2010: (Saturday, no post)

          Obamauary 43, 3093: (National Flurbday, I’ll be on vaction, no post)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          penguin permalink

          My reply will work for anything posted.

          “I can connect Willie, bbq, and football to it.”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 4

          “I believe the original poster left out a comma.”

          “In Soviet Russia, you suck vacuum cleaner.”

          “According to the M&M abacus, that’s only 7.”

          “But will it ride a mine hore?”

          “I’m pretty sure it’s minty.”

          Lots more, to many to list.

          Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 4
      jackie31337 permalink

      I don’t think you were punching cards yet back when I made the You Don’t Suck for my comment in the “I’m seeking a mature lady to fulfill my ‘sugamomma’ fantasy” post. Can I get a better-late-than-never punch?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 4
        Windrose permalink

        *consults the punch rule book* Says here you need a Web Boss to verify that you were, indeed, chosen once upon a time. With that approval, you’ll get a punch. 8)

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 5

        Approved.

        Bees be with you.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 5
          jackie31337 permalink

          And also with you! (Sorry, it’s a reflex. Can you tell I was raised Catholic?)

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 5
      screamer permalink

      I feel so inferior; I’ve been on here for a while now, made some what I thought were witty and snarky comments and have never been featured and therefore never punched 🙁

      It’s a terrible blow to my ego!

      Adores: 0
  12. 2010 March 4
    Lola permalink

    Grammar quibble (like that’s a first here): She says, “You can’t be seeing.”
    Then, at the end she says, “We never see each other again.” Wait! If the person doesn’t see her in the first place, they can’t very well see her again, under these circumstances.

    I love that they have to have a car, but she does not specify that they have to drive it.

    Then there’s “You have to take a picture to someone else.” To? Or of? What is this picture of? Her? Where are you taking it? And to whom?

    My brain just went splody. I need caffeine.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 March 4

      Splody… LOL that just made me burst out laughing in dead silence. Not good.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 4
      jackie31337 permalink

      Having a few different languages jostling for control of the speech centers of my brain helps me make reverse-engineer mangled English. I’m guessing this lady is not a native English speaker and she meant “for someone else”.

      Adores: 0
  13. 2010 March 4
    Miki permalink

    Okay, I just spent a good ten minutes running through scenarios and possible differentials on the English language errors on this ad and I believe I’ve deciphered it. Here is my ‘6:30am, haven’t had coffee yet but my Adderall is kicking in’ translation.

    I will pay you
    I am currently a creepy stalker who is (pick one): Paralyzed/sick/on house arrest/morbidly obese to the point where I can’t get out of bed

    I have recently learned that my ex is sleeping with someone new. I have expendable cash (obviously) and would like to take out a hit on his new lady friend. The hitman that I found on Craigslist is demanding that I send him a clear face shot so he knows who to exterminate for me.

    Discretion is advised, as when the bitch turns up dead the local cops may come looking for you if you were spotted taking photos of her from her shrubbery. Must be adventurous, since the possibility of doing time is one hell of an adventure.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 March 4

      I think I’ve got it figured out. She doesn’t want you to take a picture to someone, but to take a picture of someone. You’ll have to do it from a discreet distance (you can’t be seen), and you’ll need to have a vehicle in order to track the person down.

      If you contact the original poster, she’ll tell you whom to photograph, and possibly where.

      Like yesterday’s Sparky, she doesn’t want the traditional Craigslist responses, so please don’t email her to see what she looks like, because this isn’t really a personal ad.

      In other words, “Hi. I am looking for a cut-rate private eye. By the way, for some reason, perhaps because there are so few female private eyes in movies and TV, or perhaps because I don’t understand how Craigslist ads work, I require that you be male.”

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 March 4
        Colleen in MA permalink

        Wow – Isaac, I am truly impressed. And humbled. I feel like I’m back in high school taking the SAT. (I got a low score on the SAT.)

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 4
      Windrose permalink

      Miki, I am having a difficult time picturing a morbidly obese stalker who can’t get out of bed. Stalkers are, under normal circumstances, mobile. And do not attract much attention. I’ve heard. Wouldn’t know myself. *whistles innocently*

      Adores: 1
  14. 2010 March 4
    TacomMmagic permalink

    I think this whole thing can be summed up in one phrase:

    If you are afraid, Don’t bother!

    So uh… which blind men WOULDN’T be afriad? I think she just canceled out both sides of her equation.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 4
      Lola permalink

      Well, the way things are looking lately, my state’s governor, who is legally blind, is having a crapload of ethics issues and might be out of a job soon. Maybe he’d take it. After getting multiply trashed on the front page of the NY Times, I’m sure that it would take a bit more than for the average blind guy to make him afraid.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 4
        GrahamT permalink

        Lola: This post might be part of a sting operation by the NY AG targeting your blind, embattled governor.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          Graham, considering that the AG may well be gunning for the job, it’s not entirely impossible that your theory is correct.
          At work today we were discussing how the previous governor had only that little prostitute incident, instead of lying and coverup and the gambling son. Wotta mess.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 4
          GrahamT permalink

          People have no sense of proportion, I tell you.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          I know! I mean, this is NY state; you have to get up pretty early in the morning to sufficiently disappoint the majority of your electorate.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 4
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I nominate Lola for post of the day:

          I know! I mean, this is NY state; you have to get up pretty early in the morning to sufficiently disappoint the majority of your electorate.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          I don’t think it’s how early you wake up so much as where and with whom…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 4

          And that you weren’t disappointed…

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 5

        Lola, according to the press, Al Sharpton really WAS on line 1 for your governor yesterday. He’s throwing his weight behind him as a supporter for keeping him in office. *nodding* Yes, indeed.

        Hmmm, did I structure that sentence correctly? Upon rereading, it seems to be as picturesque as it is informative.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 4
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’m not blind nor am I male and I’m afraid of this pyscho stalker.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 4
        jackie31337 permalink

        Oh great, now I have Psycho Killer stuck in my head. I suppose there are worse things. It could be Fish Heads (got that stuck in my head at lunch-they served whole, battered, fried vendaces).

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4

          Qu’est-ce que c’est them vedances?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          Now I do, too, J & JG: “fuh fa fuh fa fuh fa fuh fuh [sic] … Better run run run run awaaaaay”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4

          Realisant mon espoir, je vedance per la gloire okay…

          Hi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          And…now I do, too. I’m almost happy, “The Lumberjack Song” has been stuck in there for the past few days.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4

          Oooo I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          Tacomagic permalink

          I sleep all night and I work all day.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 4

          i wear high heels and pantyhose, suspenders and a bra.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I wish I’d been a girlie
          just like my dear Papa

          And…it’s back. Thanks so much, guys.

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 March 4

    She says she will pay.

    She says she will pay -w4m.

    Anyone have a cat calculator handy to give me the current sammich to -w4m exchange?

    I’m guessing..and granted, I’m just spitballin’ here…but, I’m thinking it’s gotta be….42.

    So, she says she’ll give you $200, but in reality you’ll get -w4m, or in cat math…42 sammiches.

    Not worth it.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 4

      My calculator is saying 43.3, actually. You have to multiply by the square root of pics.

      As much as I love sammiches, I wouldn’t know what to do with .3 of a sammich.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 4
        Lola permalink

        You wouldn’t just eat it?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4

          I could go for 0.27 sammich right about now. But 0.3 just seems like too much. I gotta watch my calories.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 4

        You could sell the .3 sammich, you know for free or $35 for the whole 43.3…your choice.

        I see what you mean about the square root of pics, I was using the sine of pancakes…you know, IHOP.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Oh, I see what I was doing wrong…I was using the square root of Picts.
          I wondered why I kept getting answers written in pictures carved on rocks.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          See, that’s interesting, as when I use the square root of Picts I get blue tattoos and Caledonian whisky. I like my answer better, at least the whisky part.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          *checks Cat Math caculator
          The damn thing’s set on metric. No wonder I’m getting pictograms.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4

          *quickly converts to Picts*

          See, carry the square root of the cellar…divide by sammiches, and yes!

          I got it, the answer is Blue Caledonians with whiskey tattoos!

          What? Not right?

          Oh, wait…DUH! I had the calculator upside down *quickly rights cat*, there..that’s better.

          Okay, now let’s see…carry the Pi down into the cellar, marinate in whisky…

          Oh hell, forget it…anyone have a Bacontini? I need a drink.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 March 5
          Oh-Steve permalink

          I do believe .3 of a sammich would only arouse my appetite without beddin’ it back down again, Delmar.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 5

          That’s a bodice-ripper of a description, Steve.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 5
          Oh-Steve permalink

          Why thank you. I can’t take credit for it though, it is an adapted quote from “Oh brother where art thou?” Now that you mention it though, maybe I could take a gainful second income from writing cheesy romance novels. I’ll sleep on it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Thanks for giving you source on that one SteveO. Now I won’t wake up tonight yelling, “George Clooney!”

          That always troubles the Missus…

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 5

          *chuckle*

          Middle-of-the-night mutterings are always entertaining.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 5
          Oh-Steve permalink

          Yeah, we were doing ice rescue training today, and I think I might have gotten a little brain freeze from being in the water for so long. I may get very incoherent here shortly.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          You can borrow Graham’s mask and start typing crazy stuff. He doesn’t seem to be around tonight.

          Just don’t try to take his duct tape…

          Adores: 0
  16. 2010 March 4
    Rebby permalink

    I see this as some kind of terrible Coen brothers- “burn after reading” style inept intrigue- she needs someone she knows she’ll be able to trust to deliver/not look at a compromising photo of the President or Putin or Kim Jong Il making out with a Schnauzer or something.

    Adores: 4
  17. 2010 March 4
    Oh-Steve permalink

    No games? Does that include his reindeer games?

    Adores: 0
  18. 2010 March 4
    Hartster permalink

    In my country, we have pictures of everybody. We also have satellite surveillance capability. This sounds like a way to make an easy $200.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 4

      In Soviet Russia, stalker photos look at you!

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 March 4

      Note to self, remain clothed whenever in Hartster’s country.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 4

        Note to self: Don’t go outside whenever in Hartster’s country.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 4
        Lola permalink

        Wherever that is. Basically, remain fully clothed and with face obscured at all times until further information clarifies.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’ll share my collection of anti-photography clothing with everyone.
          *holds up pile of burlap sacks*
          Just remember to cut a hole so you can breathe.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          TacomMmagic permalink

          Don’t forget:

          http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          I prefer something more stylish;
          http://boingboing.net/images/phesfront_thmb.jpg

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 4
      jackie31337 permalink

      @Hartster: Greetings, my fellow American!

      Adores: 4
  19. 2010 March 4

    Baby you’ll be famous
    Chase you down until you love me
    Papa-paparazzi

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 4
      Miki permalink

      God. Damn. You.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 4

        ouch

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 4

        Miki! You may shake your fists at jg, but never swear at her. Damn you for swearing at her. Now look what you did. she has that sad puppy-dog face.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4

          Thanks for the support HHNF! Maybe I need a new avatar though. I’m not a her.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4

          Awkwaaaard….

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 4
          GrahamT permalink

          I was going to say something to stop you, HHNF, but then I doubted myself. Ever since that time in Vegas, I haven’t trusted my sense for that.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 4
          Lola permalink

          I thought jg was a guy with fem-magnet pups, too (luuuuve that avatar, don’t change it). But then I thought HHNF knew something I didn’t, and wasn’t going to say anything.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4

          Yes, it’s so much better to let the Awkward Aardvark visit me publicly and inform me of my idiocy than to, you know, whisper something to me.
          for you guys, that is.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4

          Great, that’s settled, won’t change the avatar. HHNF, I didn’t mind at all being thought of as a female type, not at all awkward. Wish I could think of something funny to say here but I’m about ready to crash.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Don’t sweat it, HHNF. It’s not like you called him a Goddess or anything.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 March 4

          *blush*

          BS: I’m never going to live that one down, am I? Even though I bestowed divinity upon you even as I mis-identified your parts.

          *notes to self: get fresh batteries for flashlight and make appointment with eye doctor.*

          HHNF: There’s plenty of room in the boat. Climb aboard. Let’s figure out to whom we will grant a gender switch next, shall we?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 4
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Just messing with you, Archie. 🙂

          It’s all about long memories and beating dead horses around here, no?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 5

          Yes indeedy 🙂

          On that note, I am continually thankful that I didn’t have a speeling prolbem when I made the comment about being last. Imagine where the path of conversation would have gone had I said Master of Lusties instead…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 5

          archie…that isn’t a flashlight, surely as he isn’t a goddess.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Too true…

          THIS POST GOES UNDER ARCHIES! DAMN SLOW TYPING! OH, THE HUMANITY!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          This is starting to feel like some kind of convoluted double double double plot twist. Were you guys setting me up somehow?

          *Hears “The Entertainer” playing in the distance.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 5

          *snort*

          I suspected as much. It was unintended, but the way it landed made the champagne tickle my nose.

          *whispers*

          Hey HHNF, just think what we could do if we had an actual PLAN.

          Adores: 1
  20. 2010 March 4
    mudslicker permalink

    Need to find a ‘dishonest’ person
    ——————————————————————————–
    I need a dishonest person to help me pull off something. There is nothing illegal about what I’m doing, but it requires some strong will and a strong face.

    These two need to go in halvesies on this whole surveillance thing.

    Adores: 3
  21. 2010 March 4
    CapnMac permalink

    Ok, my snark appears to be broken today, so I was digesting “no games” when “I need you take a picture to someone else” juxtaposed.

    So, now I am wondering if there is some sort of third party to whom all of these photos are to be delivered, one at a time, by annonymous self-portraitists (despite having taken a photo with at least a face in it).

    The paranoiac in me then wonders what use a number facial or full-figure photos might be put to. A benign answer would be all of those “set dressing” photos used in wallets and ready-made picture frames. An inimical one would be in fake IDs. Egads, have that nape-of-the-neck twitch (should not have watched Brazil last night) to see if there is any facial-recognition software missing out there . . .

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 4
      mudslicker permalink

      Hehe…

      Tell me the story about the ladder again. It was high-sterical…!

      “Yes, please.”

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 4
        CapnMac permalink

        No, the teen-ager had a stereo, not a hi-fi; or did you think I needed steroidal anagesics (only $5 cover during happy hour) after being on the roof all day? {Did reply to you in the Forum.}

        Wait, “Not Seeing You” aren’t they opening at the Stumble-In before Universal Surveilance?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 4
          mudslicker permalink

          I kind of liked the idea of the attic gnome….

          Adores: 0
  22. 2010 March 4
    tigprincess permalink

    * I am in heaven, nearly. Watching programme about Eddie Izzard running 43 marathons in succession for charity (yes, really) narrated by David Tennant. Take me now, Lord*

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 4
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      In drag. Please say, “In drag.”

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 5

      I followed Izzard’s Twitter feed while he was doing that. It’s absolutely amazing.

      Adores: 0
  23. 2010 March 4
    Windrose permalink

    Might need some work, but here goes:

    The Legend of Corey (to the tune of Streets of Laredo)

    As I logged in to YSaC comments,
    As I logged in to the comments one day,
    I spied a new poster, whose comments weren’t funny.
    His comments weren’t funny as he posted away.

    “You don’t understand the ad you are ripping.
    You don’t understand about DA Minty Shell.
    And why would you laugh so at things that you don’t know?
    I know more than you do so you go to hell.”

    We laughed and we pointed, and tried to help Corey.
    We thought if he stayed he would get our jokes too.
    But angry we made him, and angry he left us.
    I guess we should give Corey credit that’s due.

    So now if you log on to YSaC comments,
    And see someone telling the facts of the day,
    We’ll grant them the credit that’s named after Corey,
    And hope that they stop that and get on with our play.

    Windrose Song Parodies
    All Rights Reserved.
    A few Lefts as well.
    Patent Pending.
    Post no bills.

    Adores: 18
    • 2010 March 5

      Nicely done, windrose! Corey (bless his heart and I mean that in a most southerly way) has certainly become a YsaC icon. You have further immortalized him in your song. And the original is one of my favorites of all time. When I was a girl growing up in Colorado, an old cowboy I used to know by the name of Buck Teeter used to sing the original in a deep bass voice. Absolutely beautiful it was.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 5
        Windrose permalink

        Archie, great memory! Buck Teeter? Really? The first time I ever heard that song, it was performed by the Smothers Brothers, and ends with the line, “If you get an outfit, you can be a cowboy too!” Also love Alan Sherman’s version of it.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 5
          Lola permalink

          Windrose, my parents liked Smothers Brothers skits, so I grew up thinking that “If you get an outfit, you can be a cowboy too!” was the actual final lyric. 😀

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 5
        CapnMac permalink

        And, I have the late, great, Marty Robbins in my head now, Streets of Laredo being just before El Paso City on a long-lost 8-track . . .

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 5

      I love you, Windrose. That was…amazing. I need a cigarette.
      And they call the wind….Rose.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 5
        Windrose permalink

        *basks in the glow of her fan base* Thanks, HHNF! The admiration is mutual.

        Adores: 2
  24. 2010 March 5
    Windrose permalink

    Miki, here’s the OFFICIAL Punch. Not good with any other offers, see store for details. And defeets.

    Adores: 0
  25. 2010 March 5
    Windrose permalink

    So, bullet neatly dodged in my home life, don’t have to move after all, and the lack of sleep from last night is catching up with me. G’nibtzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Adores: 3
  26. 2010 March 5
    Ralph permalink

    Until 1999 New Hampshire had special license plates for blind veterans; now they just get regular plates for free; see this linky.

    A van parked down the road from me has vanity plates that say “BLIND” — the owner sells window treatments.

    I’m old enough to remember when a Speed Graflex was still considered useful for “candid” pictures. Times have changed. Even so, I think Humphrey Bogart got more than $200.

    Adores: 2

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