2008 October 11
by drmk

Free Baking Supplies

5 one lbs cans and 17 cans of one lbs of Crisco Vegetable Shortening. Freshness not guaranteed, great for baking, animal feed supplement, lubrication material. No delivery or reservations, must take all. Cans go to first person who calls and picks-up. Call ASAP.

That’s right, call as quickly as you can for these 5 1-lb cans and 17 1-lb cans of not-guaranteed-fresh Crisco, which is great for feeding to people, animals, or lubing up your truck.

Must take all 5 and 17 cans of possibly-spoiled solid vegetable lard.


26 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 October 12


    Adores: 0
  2. 2008 December 20

    Gee, I wish grocery stores or supermarkets existed where we could purchase fresh items, so we wouldn’t have to call this guy. Oh, wait…

    Adores: 12
  3. 2008 December 23
    MFC permalink

    jeezus, what is that brown spot on the underside of the lids of the cans in the right hand picture?

    on second thought, nm…

    Adores: 0
  4. 2009 January 3
    Anonymous permalink

    The especially good thing about this is the way the phrase “Freshness not guaranteed” implies that if you happen to buy these cans, and just happen to eat out of them and die from salmonella, then it’s clearly your fault. There were no guarantees about the freshness of the cans after all.

    Adores: 1
  5. 2009 January 14
    Cheryl permalink

    You have to suspect they had in mind lubing up something other than a truck….

    Adores: 1
  6. 2009 August 31
    DaddyPro permalink

    Is there some reason we can’t call this “22 one pound cans” of Crisco?

    Wait…it looks like the 5 cans might be butter flavored. I don’t think my cows, kids, or sex partners will like that.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 12
      JayP71 permalink

      Yeah, but it’s FREE. They charge for KY…

      Adores: 0
  7. 2009 September 1

    At least it’s free? I mean, considering all the horrible shit people try to sell, for actual money, on Craiglist I’m just happy this person is only trying to give garbage away.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2009 September 17
    KikiMayMay permalink

    I really, really cannot get the idea out of my head that this person was suggesting that I could use twenty-two pounds of lubricant.
    The things it does to my imagination…

    Adores: 2
  9. 2009 October 30
    ElKev permalink

    It looks to me that someone stole from their job at the local Piggly Wiggly, thinking they had 2 boxes of something cool.

    Adores: 0
  10. 2009 November 1
    Randy permalink

    On the coast of Maine, these would be picked up in a heartbeat. Lobstermen use this exact thing to grease the skids of boat launches.

    Adores: 2
  11. 2010 July 17
    Litarider permalink

    Um, okay. This isn’t a new post to YSaC but the power of the Llamanun, bees be upon her, compels me.

    Five and seventeen pounds of crisco baked in a pie
    When the pies were opened, the Crisco began to turn,
    Wasn’t that

    Wasn’t that a tainty dish

    Adores: 1
  12. 2011 October 8

    I know who claimed it. A man where I used to work claimed it all to use as pomade. His view of personal hygiene was, um, fresh and original. Okay, maybe not fresh.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 8
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      Wouldn’t that make like gnats and flies circle around his head? Ew.

      Adores: 0
  13. 2011 October 8

    I’m having a hard time getting past “lubricating material.” But I guess even the Gingerbread man needs some help with his lovin’ every now and then.

    To the corner! *zing!*

    Adores: 2
  14. 2011 October 8
    CoffDrop permalink

    Not so fast! This item is ideal for Windy. Home made Crisco candles would be perfect for the next Southern California power outage……….

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 8
      Windrose permalink

      Oh, what a great Idea, Coffy! And even if we can’t find the matches, the smell of the candles will help us find our way around!

      1. Get free ancient Crisco on Craigslist
      2. Make candles
      4. Profit!

      Adores: 3
  15. 2011 October 8


    Adores: 0
    • 2011 October 8
      Windrose permalink

      *rubs Crisco on puppy’s tummy* There you go.

      Adores: 0
  16. 2011 October 8
    madbrnnr permalink

    I got nothing because, you know…ninjas.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2011 October 8
    nonsensicalcat permalink

    I hope we can still get these… I think it’s about time we have a YSaC bake sale. If I make my special slimy snickerdoodles, we’ll make a fortune!

    Adores: 4
  18. 2011 October 8
    SpaceBug permalink

    A Limerickal fable…

    There once was a man from ‘Frisco
    Who loved to dance at the disco
    Met another
    And his brother
    Then left to party with Crisco

    They made out their plans to be oiled
    But their great party plans would be foiled
    An expiration date
    Surely sealed their fate
    For the Crisco they used had been spoiled

    Their deaths were met with much sadness
    No reason for any such madness
    A moral to take
    That for safety’s sake
    Check on your lube for its badness

    Adores: 9
  19. 2011 October 8

    If anyone is interested, I have a load of vintage tomato plants for sale. People have been saying that they’re dead and brown, but I think you’ll agree that “seasoned” is a better term.

    I originally paid $2 a plant, but these well seasoned vintage plants have appreciated significantly in value. I think you’ll find them a steal at a $35 a plant, or firm OBO.

    Adores: 3
  20. 2011 October 9
    Windrose permalink

    Well, okay, Saturdays and such. Capn and Smedley. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Berlin Mills!

    Adores: 0

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