YSaC, Vol. LXXVI
2008 October 11
Free Baking Supplies
5 one lbs cans and 17 cans of one lbs of Crisco Vegetable Shortening. Freshness not guaranteed, great for baking, animal feed supplement, lubrication material. No delivery or reservations, must take all. Cans go to first person who calls and picks-up. Call ASAP.
That’s right, call as quickly as you can for these 5 1-lb cans and 17 1-lb cans of not-guaranteed-fresh Crisco, which is great for feeding to people, animals, or lubing up your truck.
Must take all 5 and 17 cans of possibly-spoiled solid vegetable lard.
Ew.
disgusting!
Gee, I wish grocery stores or supermarkets existed where we could purchase fresh items, so we wouldn’t have to call this guy. Oh, wait…
jeezus, what is that brown spot on the underside of the lids of the cans in the right hand picture?
on second thought, nm…
The especially good thing about this is the way the phrase “Freshness not guaranteed” implies that if you happen to buy these cans, and just happen to eat out of them and die from salmonella, then it’s clearly your fault. There were no guarantees about the freshness of the cans after all.
You have to suspect they had in mind lubing up something other than a truck….
Is there some reason we can’t call this “22 one pound cans” of Crisco?
Wait…it looks like the 5 cans might be butter flavored. I don’t think my cows, kids, or sex partners will like that.
Yeah, but it’s FREE. They charge for KY…
At least it’s free? I mean, considering all the horrible shit people try to sell, for actual money, on Craiglist I’m just happy this person is only trying to give garbage away.
I really, really cannot get the idea out of my head that this person was suggesting that I could use twenty-two pounds of lubricant.
The things it does to my imagination…
It looks to me that someone stole from their job at the local Piggly Wiggly, thinking they had 2 boxes of something cool.
On the coast of Maine, these would be picked up in a heartbeat. Lobstermen use this exact thing to grease the skids of boat launches.
Um, okay. This isn’t a new post to YSaC but the power of the Llamanun, bees be upon her, compels me.
Five and seventeen pounds of crisco baked in a pie
When the pies were opened, the Crisco began to turn,
Wasn’t that
Wasn’t that a tainty dish
I know who claimed it. A man where I used to work claimed it all to use as pomade. His view of personal hygiene was, um, fresh and original. Okay, maybe not fresh.
Wouldn’t that make like gnats and flies circle around his head? Ew.
I’m having a hard time getting past “lubricating material.” But I guess even the Gingerbread man needs some help with his lovin’ every now and then.
To the corner! *zing!*
Not so fast! This item is ideal for Windy. Home made Crisco candles would be perfect for the next Southern California power outage……….
Oh, what a great Idea, Coffy! And even if we can’t find the matches, the smell of the candles will help us find our way around!
1. Get free ancient Crisco on Craigslist
2. Make candles
3???
4. Profit!
Twister!!
*rubs Crisco on puppy’s tummy* There you go.
*Wags*
*Slides off lap onto floor*
I got nothing because, you know…ninjas.
I hope we can still get these… I think it’s about time we have a YSaC bake sale. If I make my special slimy snickerdoodles, we’ll make a fortune!
A Limerickal fable…
There once was a man from ‘Frisco
Who loved to dance at the disco
Met another
And his brother
Then left to party with Crisco
They made out their plans to be oiled
But their great party plans would be foiled
An expiration date
Surely sealed their fate
For the Crisco they used had been spoiled
Their deaths were met with much sadness
No reason for any such madness
A moral to take
That for safety’s sake
Check on your lube for its badness
10!
If anyone is interested, I have a load of vintage tomato plants for sale. People have been saying that they’re dead and brown, but I think you’ll agree that “seasoned” is a better term.
I originally paid $2 a plant, but these well seasoned vintage plants have appreciated significantly in value. I think you’ll find them a steal at a $35 a plant, or firm OBO.
Well, okay, Saturdays and such. Capn and Smedley. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Berlin Mills!