YSaC, Vol. 667: In the navy …
2010 May 15
After yesterday’s post, I think we could use a little cleansing around here. Let’s get rid of those bad spirits and rejoice!
Christian Warship Band Members and Vocalist.
Looking for band members and vocalist that are interested in joining a proffesional warship team. Team members will have in common a love for God and a passion to share God’s love through musical talents and abilities. Much more info to come. All interested parties feel free to email me or contact me by phone at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
- Compensation: If we are faithful to him, I believe that He will take care of our needs. Don’t quit your job!
Wait, so I’d have to be able to play bass AND operate a torpedo launcher? Simultaneously? All while singing “This Little Light of Mine” in four-part harmony? Sign me up!
Thanks, Jessica!
Onward, Christian Sailors! I hear seamen are all the rage these days. Do they join in holy communion and stuff? *cues Village People’s In The Navy*
Or their recent hit: Y-S-A-C!
“Young Man, why you wearin’ a frown.
I said young man, cause you’re lookin’ so down.
I said young man, you just need to look ’round,
and see all those people.
Young Man, there’s a place you can write.
And young man, no one knows if it’s right.
And young man, though your spellings a fright,
you needn’t worry.
You’ll be listed on Y–S–A–C!
Yeah, You’ll get listed on Y-S-A-C!
It don’t matter if you can’t spell,
if punctuation smells – you’ll find
the snark just keeps rollin’ along.
Gonna be on Y-S-A-C!
Yeah, you’re gonna be on Y-S-A-C!
Just sailin’ along, with your warship song……
*crawls away, knowing no more needs to be said at this point*
Best use of assplosion in lyrical format evar!!
I’m laughing so hard, I think I’m scaring the guys who are cutting down my trees.
Yup, there’s seamen everywhere. Must be shore-leave…
“Oh Boys, the Fleet’s in”
Well, I can carry a tune and I know how to play “Battleship.”
“Compensation: If we are faithful to him, I believe that He will take care of our needs. Don’t quit your job!”
That means you not only don’t get paid, you probably have to chip in on gas and buy your own ammo, right?
Not the ammo so much as needing to buy 400 tons of Distilate Nr. 2 when you get down to a “quarter tank” . . .
Ah, and since it’s a slightly obscure value, there’s about 280 gallons of NDF#2 per ton.
Can cost a third of a million to fuel an OHP frigate.
Psst, Sarajean! The box! Look at the box! 8) I’ll be punching you, in all the old familiar places!
Yay!
*presents card, slips into body armor*
Ready when you are , Windrose.
*winces*
For Taco Magic, whenever he arrives:
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/2542
8)
Wow – just found the group has a song written for Taco, too.
“Onward Taco ‘sploders,
marching to the can.
Watch out for the snake there-
he’ll bite your little** man….
Nothing personal, Taco, just trying to fit the rhythm. Really, just the rhythm….
*giggles*
Whoops, my earlier comment was in reply to THIS song. Not that the other one wasn’t awesome, but this one has toilet humor and my inner 12 year old loves it.
I really, really, REALLY try to reach out to all age groups – it’s the warshipful thing to do.
*takes his inner 12 year old out for ice cream (and his outer 59 year old out for Vodka).*
If you have access to liquid nitrogen you can make Vodka ice cream, thus pleasing both!
([corey]You need the lower temperature to get the alcohol to freeze.[/corey])
Or, if you have access to soft-serve and Shiner Bock on tap, you cam make a very nice float, that can be just right after an afternoon in the Texas heat.
(French vanilla is nice on Guinness, come to cases.)
For super-high decadence, make bourbon balls with 65+% bittersweet, then pop same on a dollop of semi-soft coffee ice cream, then drizzle with Creme de Cacao and fresh raspberries.
I actually don’t see the error here. I’m suprised that you haven’t heard of Warship bands. They’re groups that sing worship lyrics over the music of Starship.
I’m only a third of the way through my first coffee so I can’t tell if you’re joking. Please be joking!
Yes, joking, but as popular as some “Christian” bands are it could be a good money maker with the over 40 crowd.
We built this city, we built this city on clothespin jeebus!
So I guess we have our winner for band name of the day (Christian Division): Warship!
Bianchi – you do set-up for their stage shows? This could be a great opportunity for you, and they could also probably help you come up with a new name for the business – like ‘Binky Zunds, Carparated’. Ooh, and with a business slogan – “Acoustics since the Rock Rolled – we’ll blow your ass off” – and a logo, too – a battleship with great big speakers.
The possibilities are mindless….
Thanks for the input. I will give all of your ideas the attention they deserve.
Annd.. Done.
Maybe the guys that are turned on by warching should try warshipping to cleanse their souls.
Dang, I’m Jewish.
I do so love the thought of being able to operate a warship, though…
ah well!
**Grabs Sid Meier’s Civilization IV disc**
Astro – just gotta think ‘Alternative’ – just think what you could bring to their ability to reach out to others… I bet Capn could help you with the warship part, since he’s got sailing background.
Just be sure you have the updated Capn-English dictionary upgrade.
What could be more alternative than a Jewish Christian Rock Band?
Nothing.
And if there is something, I don’t want to know.
I’m not listening.
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
My point, exactly!
I’m not talking…
ALALALALALALALALALALALALAL
They weren’t rock, but I knew a Jewish Christian band when I was growing up. And to top it all off, each memeber was a teacher or aide at my elementary school.
Oh, wait! Mr. Wilbur, of the former band, was in Harvest first, which WAS a “light rock christian” band. And he’s jewish. So there WAS a jewish christian rock band as far back as 1981!!!
Corey>TECHNICALLY, it’s “Messianic Jewish”, if we wanna get correct up in here, meaning Jews that believe Jesus is the Jewish messiah.<Corey
What about a Tri-Abrahamic group? “Hora to the Clothespin Jihad”
“Just be sure you have the updated Capn-English dictionary upgrade”
Well, hard pressed to find a better warship primer than “Knight’s Modern Seamanship”
Sadly, it has no entry for FFES, even though the Freehand Formula Entry System does have some applications our IT ratings, just more usually in the shore establishment.
It being Armed Forces Day (the original Memorial Day) here in the US today, allow me to observe that having the con of a warship at sea is relatively easy bit of business. Only gets exciting when you get to within 10,000 yards of anything else. And it’s exponential for each additional thing, too–just fes things as fascinating as keeping all of those Closest Point of Approach calculations running in one’s head.
*We’re lookin’ for a few Good-uns*
Must know thy inner workings of [insert your deity(ies) here] and 50 cal.
If you have throrough musical talents and abilities, and know your way around a mine hors…errr…mine sweeper, you too can be an officer of the [insert country of your origin] national guard.
Your team members will have a common love for God and a passion to share God’s love for red tables, musak, winterbagels, and Lionel cheese.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of professionals, I shall not quit no day job.
For I am the dumbest summof a bitch on…
*oh f*ck it*
Hey Lola,
Got flask?
I’m sorry, you have reached a Lola who has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please try again later. In the meantime, here is some tea to help you enjoy your wait. Thank you for choosing YSaC. *beeeeeeeep*
Wait, I just read it again. They’re looking for members and a vocalist to join a “warship team”? Soooo….who’s this guy? If no one is yet assembled, where’s this “team” he speaks of?
Seriously, though, all I see is Ben Hur, when he’s stuck on the slave ship. Maybe it’s THAT kind of warship band!!!
“Ramming Speed!!!”
Only the one singular vocalist at that.
Everyone else would seem to be the two/three instramentalists from a few weeks ago.
through musical talents and abilities
Well, I know a number of folk with musical abilities, the musical talent those people have, though . . . (and if you want me the carry a tune, it better have handles bolted to it)
Does give a new sense of making a noise unto the lord, though
NCIS Idol anyone?
I only know one warship song:
Longer boats are coming to win us
They’re coming to win us, they’re coming to win us
Longer boats are coming to win us
Hold on to the shore, they’ll be taking the key from the door.
I don’t want no god on my lawn
Just a flower I can help along
‘Cause the soul of no body knows
how a flower grows… Oh how a flower grows.
Chorus
Mary dropped her pants by the sand
And let a parson come and take her hand
But the soul of no body knows
Where the parson goes, where does the parson go?
It figures you’d know a song by a Cat.
Christian Warships sound interesting, but I keep thinking about how hard it must be to launch a cross-shaped torpedo.
Nah, just paint a cross design on the torpedo. The power of christ incinerates you! *boom!*
They did that during the last administration.
*slaps own hand for making political comment*
*Kisses hand to “make it better” – then passed chilled bottle from freezer to “make it even better”*
Of course, to clarify, I don’t actually support starting holy wars or incinerating anyone
The worst thing about this, is that it’s engaging my corey as much as it engages my snark.
Which is not a good combo.
I had to study the ship-handling mechanics of making a surface-to-surface torpedo attack. This is an activity mor ethan due for snark, except that the snark winds up being absurdly techinical and not very inclusive, short of 5, 6 pages of endnotes and a tedious bibliography.
The wnole “holy hand grenade of Antioch” aspect of how a CIC (Combat Information Center) operates not helping ant at all, either.
“The power of Christ incinerates you!*boom*”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAA
aaaaand, we have coffee out the nose.
I can almost hear the Time Life offering on late night TV…
“Get The Best of Warship now! This 2 CD set is not available in stores. Hear such favorites as:
– Michael, Blow the Boat Apart
– He Will Provide (Don’t Quit Your Job!)
And of course, who could forget this one? “Jeebus Loves me,
This I know,
My Torpedoes Prove It’s So…”
It is always so sweet to hear the little ones singing along to that one.
Order now!
And the other childrens’ favorite:
“I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy –
down in my fort, down in my fort,
down in my fort.
I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy,
down in my fort – with flamethrowers.”
Always brings a tear to my eye…
Time to take attendance! Taco Magic? Absent. Sarajean? Here. GrampDaddy? Here. Lola? Absent. Bianchi Sound? Here. Christina? Here. Camille? Here. Spacebug? Here. Silva Noir? Here. MandaB? Here. Astrognash? Here. B? Here. Not.A.Commenter? Here. Is.A.Avatar? Here. Keelhaulrose? Here. CapnMac? Here. Meredith? Here. Hips Of Steel? Here. Arched Eyebrows? Absent. Mudslicker? Absent. HHNF? Absent. Develish1? Excused. Everyone else, too many to list? Absent.
Now, everyone who showed up today will get extra credit on tomorrow’s test.
Will there be CatMath on that test?
Not on the test itself, but you may use a catulator for the word problems. Catmath will be used to compute final averages, so be prepared to supply as many random numbers as possible in your answers.
Unblublers are optional.
MandaB – keep your eyes on your own paper!
Wherever I go, my little yellow unblubler goes
Fine, fine, but you must use it in a bot language sentence.
Oooh Oooh, I’m here, am I too late????? *waves hand madly*
jg, you just made it before the bell. 8)
Yay!
Ooh, extra credit!
Can we also get extra credit on the Final Exam if we didn’t use up our bathroom passes for the semester?
Yes, Astro, as long as you turn them in before the last class day.
I dropped this class but sometimes I come to the lecture anyway.
GRAHAM! 8) *too stunned to comment*
Yeah, learning Persian 24/7, other military duties and my wreck of a personal life have been keeping me too busy to stop by… I’ll be making an effort to check in occasionally though. I see everyone is keeping up the usual level of snark — carry on!
Also stunned here, but great to have you back, even for just a drop-by.
If your think Persian is tough, try Tabby.
Oh, uh, hi, Graham. :::blushes and looks out the window::: Glad you dropped by. Ummmm, see ya soon…uh, I mean, see ya later, k?
Aw man, there’s a test? Good thing I got the extra credit before I started drinking!
Will I need slide rules or navigation instruments?
Do I need to arrange an escort party for when the the Disbursing Officer delievers the specie to the Fueling Dock?
O the questions the questions
(with really spiffy counter-note of Willie singing Whisky River on Soundstage as I type this; the rhythm, the rhythm; O they Capture me…
Bring anything you think you might need, Capn. Any further information is not allowed at this time.
It stings to be left in the et cetera section…
I’m grading final exams, and can’t spend much time online until they’re done. See y’all in a few days.
Issac, I thought you were teaching this class? 8/ My apologies, and extra credit now applies.
Sarahjean, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Antioch!
*clears throat, then points at name*
There seems to be something wrong with our bloody (war)ships today…
I’m so thrilled this got posted, I’m really excited! Seeing it posted made my Sunday morning.
You guys are so not thinking outside Earth orbit. Does the ad SAY anything about water? What if the advertiser wants crew for the NCC 1701-JC, or a Klingon Bird of Praying?