YSaC, Vol. 673: Look who’s evil now!

2010 May 21

wanna date ???


need a date??

If you are reading this ad, you are going to have one of two possible reactions. The first group of people reading this ad are going to look at it and say, “Wow. That’s… minimal. I doubt responding to this ad is a good idea.”

The second group will have seen Frankenhooker, and won’t be able to think of anything else.

Thanks for the link, Cate!

Oh, and happy Mr. T Party Day, everyone! Go out and pity some fools!

111 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 May 21
    MandaB permalink

    It follows a natural progression.

    Wanna date?

    Need a date?

    You mind if we dance with your dates?

    Adores: 8
  2. 2010 May 21
    Meredith permalink

    HEY! That’s my name over there!!! I could have used seeing that yesterday. But it did make this day a whole hell of a lot better, too.

    PUNCH ME!!!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 21
      Windrose permalink

      Meredith, please go back to my last posts yesterday. 8)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 21
        Meredith permalink

        Ohhhhhh, that’s an easy one. I wanna Mythos Punch. Thanks for holding it for me. Hope it didn’t melt in your purse.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 21
          Windrose permalink

          Naw, it’s as fresh as a — a fresh mythos thing. That stays fresh. Ahem.

          R’lyeh Punchity Punch Punch!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 21

          Mythos—the Freshmaker!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 21
          mudslicker permalink

          Myth Makers

          Docter who?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 22
          Laurelhach permalink

          I can’t tell if that’s a statement or a question.

          Adores: 0
  3. 2010 May 21

    Wanna date?

    Need a date?

    Mmmmmm, dates

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 21
      Meredith permalink

      I prefer figs.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 21
      Is.An.Avatar permalink

      Oh yes!

      Date Bars with Pecans
      Date Apple Bread
      Date Muffins
      Date Nut Cookies
      Date Pinwheel Cookies II
      Date Cookies
      Date Turnover Cookies
      ***Date Balls***

      Adores: 7
  4. 2010 May 21
    Meredith permalink

    And now I must also look up Frankenhooker when I get home.

    Adores: 0
  5. 2010 May 21
    Windrose permalink

    I pity the fool who placed this ad, and I pity the fool who responds like I d– I mean, like I expect some did. Gee. Look at the time. Must rush, ta!

    Adores: 1
  6. 2010 May 21
    mudslicker permalink

    I’m taking the liberty of re-writing the topic quote just for Taco:

    Look whose evil now!

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 May 21
      dan permalink

      Yes, but can you place the reference?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 21
        mudslicker permalink

        Is this like a test? Because I don’t think I brought a #2 pencil with me today.

        Is this from a musical? Evil Dead? I am totally relying on Google right now…

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21
          dan permalink

          Yep. “Evil Dead, the Musical.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 21
          mudslicker permalink

          I can cheat real good can’t I? *chuckle*

          But those lyrics totally fit this post!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21
          CapnMac permalink

          “Evil Dead, the Musical”

          Like Sam Rami and Bruce Campbell need another way to extend the franchise . . .

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 May 21
    Camille permalink

    Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do need a date, now that you mention it, but there are some important caveats:

    1. You can’t be bread. Cake or pie are acceptable, and I have been known to date the occasional jelly doughnut.

    2. You must be able to distinguish between various types of jungle cats. There will be a quiz.

    3. Sorry, but I do not date meat-flavored cocktails.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 May 21
      Lola permalink

      Camille, the next time I try online dating, I will steal borrow your criteria per above. I think I see where I’ve been going wrong up to this point.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 21
        Meredith permalink

        I think this should go right into the online dating profile. Anyone who understands it gets instant elebenty date points!

        Also, anyone who understands it has skulked out this site, so you could be dating someone you “know”…

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 May 21
          Lola permalink

          Also, anyone who understands it has skulked out this site, so you could be dating someone you “know”…

          I still haven’t decided if that’s a plus or minus. Probably a plus. ‘Cause I’m here. Though I don’t know if I would want to date myself.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21

          You can go blind doing that, Lo. Or get hairy palms, anyway.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 21

          I suggest a 4th criteria: Must have (depending on gender preference) either femaletraits 2 and 3 or a completely randomly placed rubber duck.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 21
      mudslicker permalink

      A quiz! Brilliant!

      As an aside, I think I married a bear claw. But he’s definitely not bread or a cracker. I should have gone for a biscotti.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 21
      Steph permalink

      Aww, now, you’re just hurting Bacontini’s feelings.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 21
        Meredith permalink

        You don’t KNOW that she was referring to Bacontini. I mean, she could have meant some OTHER meat-flavored cocktail.

        What about Brat-hattan? She could have meant him!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 21
          Meredith permalink

          Or perhaps Scrapple-colada!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 21
          mudslicker permalink

          Pork-olada!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21

          Tuna-politan?

          Bloody mackerel?

          Arctic char-garita?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 21

          Shrimp cocktail? (Yes, a boring choice, but a choice I cannot consume)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 21
          Lola permalink

          You’re not missing much (I don’t like them).

          Vodka Hamlet?
          Spamhattan?
          Tuna colada?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 21
          Camille permalink

          Oh, I like Vodka Hamlet. To drink, or not to drink?

          Adores: 8
  8. 2010 May 21

    Oh, I need a date! Pick me! Pick me! Of course, I’m really looking for June 27th, as my first choice, but only if it’s fresh. If not, something in the Septembers should do nicely…maybe the 15th?

    I hate to be such a diva about my dates, but you did ask!

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 May 21
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, there’s two I want at present.
      11 June
      and
      13 June

      (Arrgh, must get yummy flavor of dates rolled in almonds and pistache out of my head)

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 22
        CapnMac permalink

        And, I’ll be happy to share 13 June with the rest of the Sookie fans out there, too.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 21

      I’ll take June 8th and September 25th, please.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 21

      I’d like October the 30th, 2010.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 21
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Buzzzzz … October 30th, 2010 is already taken. Try again.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 21

          Darn. Any more Oct. 30th, 2010’s in stock? You see, it’s very important that I have it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 21
          christina permalink

          Sorry Astro, October 30, 2010 is on backorder and the warehouse has informed me that the next batch isn’t due to arrive until November, pending HHNF returns the dolorian in one piece.
          If you prefer, we can ship you an imported 30 October 2010 and throw in the 24 hour clock for the same price as the domestic model.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 21

          No, I’ll just ask my band director if he has extras. He’s probably the one who ordered them all. It’s 52nd annual Cary Band Day, you see. I believe it’s the largest high school sponsored marching band competition in the southeast US

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 21

      I’ll take November 13th, 1999
      and September 3rd, 2003
      and the deLorean, thanks.
      There are a few things that need fixin.

      Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 21
      mudslicker permalink

      Well, I’m taking December 21, 2012.

      I’m giving the *neener neener* to the Mayans.

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 May 21

        Oh, I’d also like December 29th, 2010. I’d like to steal my sister’s 13th birthday away from her.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 21
          CapnMac permalink

          Now, be nice, your sister will only ever have the one bat mitzvah

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 21

          And if it’s like any bat mitzvah I’ve ever been to, it’ll be punishment enough.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 21

          Hah! Nice to my sister, that’s a good one. Most sisters don’t break into rooms THROUGH WINDOWS for CHEWING GUM. I’m not even going to recount other things she’s done, because it’ll put me in a foul mood.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 21
          CapnMac permalink

          Hey, be a mensch, everybody noes the gum goes in the locking frezzer next to the swingset out by the zombie winter bag…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 21

          Oh, right, I forg…

          Adores: 1
  9. 2010 May 21

    I’m back! Man I missed you guys!

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 May 21
      mudslicker permalink

      Welcome back Steve-OFD!!!

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 21
      christina permalink

      Hi Steve, welcome back! Where ya been?

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 21
      Meredith permalink

      Oh, uh, yeah… long time no see. I was just asking, uh, Windrose, yeah Windrose, about you. “Where’s that guy, Steve-O???” I said.

      Glad to see your shining…uh…cab? Chassis?

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 21
      CapnMac permalink

      Ditto.
      So, where was the fire?

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 21

      Well, to make a long story short, Thinkpads are not drop proof, just drop resistant. I got it fixed though, so I am back in the swing of things after about a 3 week hiatus. It’s like coming home….

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 21
        mudslicker permalink

        … if home were an asylum…

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 21

          —where the inmates were in charge….

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 21

          — and llamas and flightless birds are warshipped as near deities…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 21

          B1
          f5
          you sank my warship!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 21
          GrahamT permalink

          Heh, that’s what she said…

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 21
          HellHathNoFury permalink

          oh, hi hon!
          Missed you.
          *doe eyes*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 21
          GrahamT permalink

          Careful, those have been getting me in trouble recently.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Doe eyes (whether proximal to swing sets or not) or Battleships?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 22

          Dough ships. They ain’t too seaworthy. Aircraft carriers cannot be bread.

          Adores: 4
  10. 2010 May 21
    B....... permalink

    Perhaps Sparky is a hermaphrodite…….

    Adores: 2
  11. 2010 May 21
    BillsBayou permalink

    My mind went to Frankenhooker RIGHT AWAY!

    Clearly one of the funniest lines in B-Movie history.

    Adores: 1
  12. 2010 May 21
    dan permalink

    I’ve changed the “Mr. T Party” link above to point to the actual page about the party, not just the front page on Overthinking It.

    Also for those interested:

    A Brief History of Fool-Pitying: Origins of the Phrase “I Pity the Fool”

    Adores: 2
  13. 2010 May 21
    TacoMagic permalink

    Today’s Taco has been replaced by a disease ridden walking corpse. Let’s watch.

    (Sorry folks, no snark from the Taco today. I came down with the flu last night and just can’t bring on the funny.)

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 21
      mudslicker permalink

      Get to feeling better TM! Don’t worry, I’ve already posted something in your honor.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 21
      Meredith permalink

      Your gremlin gave it to you, didn’t it? Those things are like adorable walking chemical warfare.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 21
      CapnMac permalink

      Apply hot peppers, it will help. Tortilla soup (Sopa seca de tortilla) is very apt for what ails you. So would a caldo de res. Or a nice bowl of chilli

      Just no ‘sploding!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 21

        Maybe I could offer you some hot cold lozenges, Taco?

        I mean, if only they existed.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 21
        CapnMac permalink

        And, in a bid to make you healthier by internet osmosis, I’n maving crispy tacos and an excellently hot chile con queso. [vibe~~~~~~~~]

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21

          **Sends Taco a cyber-bowl of Tortilla Soup from Torerro’s Mexican Restaurant. (Which makes some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever eaten.)**

          It has chicken in it. It should help.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21
          CapnMac permalink

          Ok, I’m still wrapping my head around either Tide Water or Appalachian “mexican” food.

          But, only in the same sense that I link Texas and “crab cake.”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21
          Lola permalink

          We have serious Mex in NYC, Capn. Made by actual Mexicans (of which there are many in my neighborhood). Location matters less than authentic technique and ingredients if they know what they’re about! And with that, I’m going to go ask for the mole that’s not on the menu … 🙂

          (Note to the unfamiliar: that’s mole-ay, the sauce, not mole, the animal. I don’t know if humans, anywhere, eat them.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21

          Piedmont, Cap’n. Piedmont. We’re neither hicks nor beachbums. Just a crude mix of rednecks and relocated Yankees.

          And Torerro’s is a restaurant run by a Mexican family. So, it’s actually real Mexican food. They hire Hispanic workers, and have really good food.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 21
          christina permalink

          Ditto what Lola said. NY also has some of the best soul food and caribbean food I’ve ever had.
          Now, no offense to the good Cap’n or any of my fellow Texans, but I came to Texas by way of California where Mexican meant fresh fish, lime, avacado, cilantro and soft corn tortillas. “Tex-Mex” gave me a bit of culture shock, everything was made of meat, beans and doused in something red. I’ve learned to ask “do the beans contain meat or lard?” before placing my order.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 24
          TacoMagic permalink

          Thanks for all the soup wishes. Normally I do indeed treat my sickness with copious amounts of fresh peppers and foods containing such (I also use peppers as my disease defense, which works fairly well as I only get sick about once every 5-7 years). However, this particular strain of flu came with a rather nasty sore throat.

          My first attempt at pepper application felt similar to attempting to swallow a handful of sharpened glass shards. Repeat attempts were not made.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 21
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      My Grandmother always said — tea and Southern Comfort. You can’t questions Granny.

      Adores: 2
  14. 2010 May 21
    Shay B permalink

    Actually, you can link right to the scene, thanks to the wonders of Youtube:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BtunhScwso

    Adores: 0
  15. 2010 May 21

    Sugar dates and figs!
    Sugar dates and pistachios!

    Adores: 1
  16. 2010 May 21

    Dear Sparkette,
      hI. i waNna date. how abowt teh 40wAtT @ 8 on Caturday? i’Ll evin go w/ u 2 teh portapotty to skare awai snakz.
                    4eVer Urs,
                      Sparky

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 May 22
      MandaB permalink

      Deer Sparky,

      May bee. Whose playing?

      -Sparkette

      Adores: 0
  17. 2010 May 21
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    @ Lola Chevy Chase reference FTW!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 21
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Damn mobile site. This goes elsewhere…

      Adores: 0
  18. 2010 May 21

    When I were a lass, I worked in a video store that had a copy of Frankenhooker. The box had some built-in chip dealy so that if you pressed a button on it, it played the “Wanna date?” clip. Over. And over. As each customer just had to try it. Wanna date? Wanna date? Wanna date?

    I had repressed that memory very nicely, I thought.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 May 21

      And we’re thrilled to have brought it back up for you.

      Now stop twitching.

      Adores: 5
  19. 2010 May 21
    Limelolly permalink

    Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.

    Cheryl “Rhode Island”: That’s a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

    Adores: 7
  20. 2010 May 21
    Windrose permalink

    Uh-oh. More self punching. 8/ This is an honor I will remember for as long as I can.

    Adores: 4
  21. 2010 May 23
    Steven permalink

    Wow… A Frankenhooker reference! This just made my year!

    Adores: 0
  22. 2010 May 24
    Ladycrim permalink

    I wanna date, I need a date, but I just don’t think that I’m ever gonna love a date. Now don’t be sad, ’cause two out of three vague questions ain’t bad.

    Adores: 2

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