YSaC, Vol. 687: Are you a GOOD Craigslist fail or a BAD Craigslist fail?

2010 June 4

This little gem was sent in by Cate:

**a center is salealing everything in**


sealing everything!!!!!!a center all for $28,000.00price is negotiable$$$ cash only came and see all staff in. Call me at ###-###-#### ask for Glenda #######

They’re sealing EVERTHING! EVERYTHING must be sealed, I tell you! I was a little puzzled by what sort of center we were talking about here, so I Googled for the phone number. The only hit was another ad in a nearby metropolitan area:

***For Sale*** – $28000 [location, misspelled]


A center in the area of [location, misspelled, but differently than the first time] is sealing all the staff in Avery then is new came and see.
call Glenda ####### at ###-###-#### praise is negotiable cash only $$$$$$28,000.00

That’s right. While on the [location] Craigslist, which they presumably had to type into the URL bar to even find, they managed to misspell [location] twice, in two different ways. And it’s not even that hard a [location] to spell!

This is almost enough to distract me from the fact that this ad indicates they are sealing all the staff in! I hope someone buys the center soon and lets them out! Or at least pokes some holes in the top so they can breathe.

Thanks for the link!

200 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 June 4
    TacoMagic permalink

    I’m glad the praise is negotiable because you’d certainly have to pay me to praise these adds.

    Wait, maybe they’re saying that the amount of praise you have for the seal is negotiable.

    Wait a minute, how the hell did this poster manage to spell negotiable correctly!?

    *Wanders off to get his coffee*

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 June 4
      Bridgete permalink

      *wanders with Taco in search of coffee*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        LimeLolly permalink

        Ya’ll better make another pot for the rest of us!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Bridgete permalink

          Okay, okay. *wanders off to put on a pot of coffee*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Bridgete permalink

          Hahaha. Okay…I actually did wander off to make some coffee. I went and started the coffee pot, then left the kitchen for a minute while it was brewing. I went back, and there was no coffee…because I hadn’t put any water in. So it seems I need coffee in order to make coffee…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’m glad I’m not the only one who does that.

          Put the coffee pot together, turn it on then walk away. 10 minutes later:

          “Why the hell isn’t there any coffee!? Is the maker broken?”

          TacoMa’am, “Did you forget the water again.”

          “Aww crap.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          Innana permalink

          Maybe we need Lola with her flask? Where is she, anyway?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Bridgete permalink

          I think she has a friend in from out of town.*

          *I swear I’m not stalking her. We’re FB friends now. Although I suppose being FB friends could be a form of stalking…but she requested me first. If anything, she’s stalking me! 😉

          Adores: 0
  2. 2010 June 4
    Windrose permalink

    [/Wizard of Oz corey] *cough Glinda cough*[/end WoO corey]

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 4
      Dan permalink

      We did establish the poster can’t spell, after all…

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 4

        And that’s very likely her parents’ misteak. (Yes, that was on purpose)

        Adores: 0
  3. 2010 June 4
    TacoMagic permalink

    Taco walks into the warehouse looking all shifty. He puts a briefcase on the table and turns it to face you.

    You open the briefcase to see $28,000 in non-consecutive quarters, dimes, and nickles.

    Taco looks at you over the briefcase, “It’s all there like we agreed to. Now, where’s the seal?”

    You smile knowingly at Taco, “That all depends. Did you bring a club?”

    You hear a terrified “Ort ort ort,” from the panicked seal your thugs are unloading from the truck and you know it’s going to be a profitable day.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 June 4
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Taco, I’m disappointed – I thought you’d use a Tacobox instead of a briefcase. Everybody knows a briefcase is for boxers…

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 June 4
        TacoMagic permalink

        My Tacobox is in the shop this week.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Did the hard drive melt again?

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Eek, that’s some briefcase–$100 in quarters is about 5#; $28K is 1400#

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 5
        Limelolly permalink

        You’ve blinded me with math.

        Adores: 0
  4. 2010 June 4
    Innana permalink

    A center is salealing in,
    Lhude sing cuccu…
    Twenty-eight sounds pretty great,
    And EVERYTHING!!!!!! we sing!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 June 4
      TacoMagic permalink

      Kneeeeeeeeeees.

      Oops, I mean:

      Niiiiiiiiice.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        Innana permalink

        Sigh….Every man’s battle…..

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I gotta petella, for some reason I just can’t keep focused today. I must kneed more coffee. Meniscus I should read a book or something as this is becoming a cruciate problem.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Taco, you do realize those are male knees, right?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yup, I’m an equal opportunity stalker.

          I need to find a way to make “Sideways Kitty” into a pun.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Would be a great band name.

          (Fearless isn’t sideways, she’s laying down inside her popup box with her head tilted and stuck through the opening of the tunnel…

          I just made it worse, didn’t I?)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4

          IS A KITTY.

          AND KNEES.

          (The Locked Knees Monster?)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 4
          CapnMac permalink

          1 NiTe Only!

          The Kitty Knees

          with special guest

          Knock-kneed Monster

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          I second that motion, Captain!

          Adores: 0
  5. 2010 June 4
    LimeLolly permalink

    I think it’s a boat described in this ad.

    Let’s go salealing!
    But I have to get the undersides sealed first! And get that new staff installed.

    What’s the name of your vessel?
    Praise and Cash only

    Adores: 6
  6. 2010 June 4
    sarajean80 permalink

    [lacation]
    [lecation]
    [lokattan]
    Damn, that is hard to misspell!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 June 4
      mudslicker permalink

      Obviously not. You just did it 3 times. Hehe…

      Although I believe the correct spelling of that first version is [lactation] because it’s pretty much established that Sparky is a total bewb.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 June 4
        sarajean80 permalink

        *snort* Damn coffee…

        It was kinda hard to get misspellings that could still concievably be pronounced the same way as [location]. I kept wanting to either fix it or spell it in a way that made another correctly spelled word, like lactation.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Sometimes on rough mornings I snort my coffee too.

          Last time I did that I eneded up hallucinating that I was surrounded by dancing Misjays lobbing ceramic Lionel Richie heads at me.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4

          Sigh.

          I’m not allowed coffee.

          But on the days I’m out of my ADHD meds, it’s as if I’m a normal person who’s had coffee.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Depends on the person. I have a weirdness curve associated with coffee.

          Weirdness starts high, and then slopes off sharply to about 3 cups of coffee, then it makes a percipitous climb to about 200% above nominal around cup 8.

          I’ve never pushed the limits beyond cup 12, beyond lies the realm of madness misjay.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 4

          And Walri.

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 June 4
    sarajean80 permalink

    Glenda doesn’t mention how much staff my 28K will net me. If it’s a large group of industrious workers, that seems a bargain, but if it’s those three sullen college kids who work down at the Percolator … I wouldn’d give more that a couple bucks for them. (The tall one with the mohawk never gives me enough steamed milk.)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 4
      mudslicker permalink

      I think the only staff* you’ll be getting will require a large tube of Neosporin.

      *I’m assuming they can’t spell this correctly either

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 June 4
        sarajean80 permalink

        No thank you. That last round of antibiotics made me horribly nauseous the whole time.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I don’t have a staff to sell for 28k. But I do have a Rod of Wonders.

          *Wave the Rod. The YSaC snark lounge now has a wonderful carpet of fresh grass.”

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Can you call it the Wand of Wonders? I get some … the connotations of ‘rod’ make it difficult for me to do any work. Thanks!

          Could you conjure a sundae for me, too?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          How about Pole of Marvels?

          Shaft of Awe?

          Lance of Amazement?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Well, that pretty much puts me on a track of anything but work.

          *steps down to the gutter, looking for the door to the sewer*

          Other choices:
          Billet of the Bulge
          Boom of the Party
          Lever of Glory

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          Innana permalink

          Stick of Schtick.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          If you sell your Rod of Wonders, won’t the Orb of Fantasy and the Orb of Illusion get lonely?

          Adores: 16
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Hmm, you’re right.

          Maybe I should sell them as a package.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          That’s called ‘solicitation’. You sure don’t need that on your record.
          Maybe you can trade them for a nice camel table and green ashtray skull.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 June 4

          Have you ever sprayed a combination of Salsa con Queso and Milk at your Computer Keyboard?

          If so, then join the club you all just made me form.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          You should always swallow before marveling over Taco’s Rod of Wonders and it’s accompanying Orbs. They make quite a package.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          *snerk*

          As long as there is truth in advertising and not delusions of grandeur.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Well, he has already shown off his massive link, although I thought Meredith’s was more impressive.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Meh, size never impressed me much. Unless a microscope is needed, it just needs to be clean and in good working order.

          Now knowing how to use it properly..without having to stop to read the instructions…that’s impressive!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 4
          mudslicker permalink

          Funny… I have a Rod of Sterling, a Rod of McKuen, a Rod of Steiger, a Rod of Stewart and a Rod of Blagojevich but no Rod of Wonders.

          *sniffle*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 4
          Camille permalink

          What about A-Rod of the Yankees?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 4
          mudslicker permalink

          A-Rod counts. I’ll trade you a Stevie of Wonders.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          Grampdaddy permalink

          I’ve got pepperoni of pizza – old but well preserved.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          “..thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me”

          Forgive me Lord, and feed all them pigmy children

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4

          I’ve got a King of Spades…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Go fish!

          Wait, what are we playing again?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4

          The Sport of Kings:

          Carpet Ball.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          jackie31337 permalink

          Maybe I should sell them as a package.

          I have to ask, TM: what is your preferred package management system? I personally prefer Aptitude, but boxer briefs are a close second.

          Adores: 1
  8. 2010 June 4

    Praise is negotiable? Well, not for me…I want a late model Sistine Chapel and some sprinkled kitties or the deal is off!

    Adores: 8
  9. 2010 June 4
    Mindfield permalink

    Well, look, let’s not be too quick to judge here. Maybe the staff gave really, really bad customer service. Maybe they were actively hostile toward their clients, like someone walks in off the street, hoping innocently to get some information or book an appointment for whatever it is they do there, and the staff is like, “Ohh, look at YOU, all high and mighty in your Ed Hardy tee wanting us to wait on your every freakin’ whim. You make us sick with your needy ways, whining, “Oh, I need this! I want that!” Well get out! Get the hell out! We don’t want your kind in here!”

    I mean, I think that makes a good case for sealing them in for the good of mankind.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 June 4
      LimeLolly permalink

      If they’ve messed with my caffeine… I’m using cement.
      Caffeine: for the good of mankind

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 June 4
        sarajean80 permalink

        And the good of womankind. ‘Cause if womankind don’t get it’s caffeine, then mankind will suffer. Horribly.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Ve have our vays of making you suvver..

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          You should see my mom pre-coffee. One (two?) word(s?) to describe her at that point of her morning:

          Wolf-Bear

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          One word to describe me before my first cup of coffee:

          “Unnnngggggghhhhhh.”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          No one who knows me will let me make coffee anymore.

          Apparently not everyone enjoys the results of a half cup of espresso grounds added to a six cup coffeemaker. Go figure.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          SJ

          I nominate you for position of Barrista Queen of First YSaC Church of Clothespin Jeebus of Latter-Day Not.A.Lions. The rest of them can have Flavor-Aid.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Sounds like you were ‘raised’ on the same coffee I was (I started drinking coffee at 16). I shall quote him: “It’s not that strong. Just drink your coffee. It’ll put hair on your chest… hands, tongue, eyes… *trails off*”

          My father and I are kept away from the coffee maker at family gatherings. My dad will make massively strong coffee and my coffee is his coffee with an extra 3 tablespoons of grounds.

          I actually don’t use a coffee maker anymore at home; I couldn’t get the coffee strong enough. Now I use an espresso maker with a turkish coffee grind. 1 creamer and 1 shugar[sic] to 4 shots of espresso. Fits in my mug perfectly. I’d just drink straight turkish, but I really don’t care for sipping the grinds.

          There’s a running joke with one of my D&D characters based on a conversation my friends had with me about my strong coffee: In the morning my character makes the coffee then cuts everyone off a slice and sprinkles some shugar on it. After everyone’s done chewing their coffee, we roll for a random encounter.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          I’m afraid that I’m with Astrognash. Give me any caffeine, then mankind (anything else around) will suffer. Horribly!!!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          CapnMac permalink

          [coffee corey]Taco, try the turkish blend ground medium and use a french press.
          The “strength” of coffee is directly related to the surface are of water contact over time.

          You need a coarser grind for the french press, to control the lees better. Even so, the Turkish method of adding sugar works, too. But, my real fave for that is add some cocoa and fresh-ground cinnamon and a dab of honey.
          [/corey]

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          My late Gramma and I were the only ones in the family who enjoy a more robust cup. (In her words, “It’s gotta be black as a nazi’s heart!”. Gramma was a colorful woman.) To get truly satisfactory coffee at home I use an espresso maker, but it never makes enough. One little pot fills my favorite coffee cup, so I have to make a fresh batch every time I want another cup. Most mornings that’s too much trouble, so I just cram as much grounds as will fit in my regular coffeemaker and make due.

          I had a french press but it broke when I moved and I haven’t gotten around to getting it replaced.

          Cap’n – I add a little cocoa sometimes, it really makes for a tasty cup!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          I’m with Astrognash. Any caffeine and “then mankind will suffer. Horribly.”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I actually use a French press at work (my colleagues think I’m crazy), and it does make a nice strong cup. I made a modification to my press so that I could use the finer Turkish grounds without adding much in the way of lees to the poured cup (I still get a bit escaping around the meshes, but you get that anyway).

          I added a secondary finer filter to the press so I get a double filtration of the grounds. It’s done very well for adding coffee strength. I’ve also found using a fine cloth tea strainer worked very well for catching the lees.

          My next experiment is to try boiling Turkish grounds in a pressure cooker.

          As for additives, I find I rarely go wrong with a cube or two of caramel in the pot as it brews.

          SJ: If you enjoy a bold cup of coffee and have a Dunn Bros coffee house near you, get yourself a half pound of their “Costa Rica” blend with a turkish or espresso grind. That stuff is AWESOME! Strongest cup of coffee I’ve ever been able to brew.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          jackie31337 permalink

          TM: I started drinking coffee when I was about 2. My mom used to fill the little plastic cups the creamer comes in with coffee for me. When people ask me how I like my coffee, I usually respond “chewy”.

          My daughter also developed a taste for coffee early in life, but we stick to decaf for her. She’s got enough energy already that we can barely keep up with her after we’ve had half a pot of chewy coffee.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        mudslicker permalink

        [blasphemy] Are we done talking about coffee? I feel like I took a wrong turn and ended up in Morocco and having to pee. [/blasphemy]

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          We could talk about Taco selling his Rod and Orbs as a package a bit more if you’d rather.

          *Scampers off to look for Dunn Bros coffee.*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          No.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          mudslicker permalink

          I think it’s the combination of those two subjects that just might be too volatile. I need something that will take my mind off the zomb……..

          (see, I got two and too entered correctly)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Chuzzach!!!! [pronounce aloud, as if Yiddish]

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Speaking for all the goyim;

          Huh?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          If pronounced as stated, it reads Huzzah!, but with a ‘ch’ throaty thing (don’t know what one would call it) on the h-es.

          Adores: 0
  10. 2010 June 4
    penguin permalink

    Rummages through cabinets and pulls out all plastic containers and lids. Spends next fifteen minutes trying to match containers and lids. Concludes they are related to socks.

    Googles for religious centers in Avery ***** area. Finds one. Checks site. Yes, they have a praise group. Score!

    Drives over to center, gathers up staff and seals them in the containers. Next stop is Oz to trade containers for $14k (have to split 50/50 with G since she does place the CL and makes the final drop).

    Tops off gas tank before heading out on dream road trip http://www.catalogs.com/info/travel-vacations/top-10-tacky-tourist-sites.html

    Adores: 2
  11. 2010 June 4
    Bridgete permalink

    Clearly, someone named “cash only”, a rogue hijacker of center employees, came to see all the staff into what was supposed to be their new center, but then sealed the doors, locking them all in. Cash Only is now asking for $28,000 in unmarked bills as ransom. This is the poor employer’s cry for help to get his staff back!

    Adores: 0
  12. 2010 June 4
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    ISH.

    I. S. H.

    ISH.

    Duh…

    Adores: 9
  13. 2010 June 4
    Camille permalink

    Sealing all the staff in Avery doesn’t sound like very much fun. Now, if you were sealing all the staff in shrinkwrap, or maybe Tupperware, that might be more entertaining. I’ve got some staff members you can start with.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 4
      MrWhite permalink

      Sealing my staff in Saran wrap? Actually, that does sound like it could lead to some fun.

      That cutting edge on the box worries me a bit, though.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 June 4
        whit nestor .tanks permalink

        How about using large babby jars?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          What would you do with the leftover large babbies, though?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Buy that mid evil weapon before you go sealing anything.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4

      You’re all thinking about this the wrong way. Two words:

      Bubble. Wrap.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 4
        TacoMagic permalink

        What about:

        Vacuum Packing.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Oooh, that would leave the staff minty fresh!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          and they won’t get wet…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          They would probably be perishable, though; what with the lack of oxygen and everything. Their corpses would retain their freshness, which would be a selling point for the zomb

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 4
        LimeLolly permalink

        No… cause popping the bubbles while on sealed staff…that could be construed as assault. Well it would be assault, a lot of fun, but assault nonetheless.

        Adores: 0
  14. 2010 June 4
    christina permalink

    “Sealing all the staff in Avery” makes me want to raid the supply cabinet and seal all my coworkers into their cubes with packing lables.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 June 4
      Meej permalink

      I’m glad I’m not the only one whose brain went there.
      Though my thought was, “Wow, wouldn’t labels be an expensive way to do it? Plastic sheeting and duct tape (Duct tape! Duct tape!) would be easier and cheaper.”

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        SilvaNoir permalink

        Not for me…. There’s so many leftover labels from where I work (they’re on a roll that goes into a printer) , I’ve supplied myself for life ( the ones on the end can’t be used, they would just throw them out).
        I have indeed packaged things with white stickery-labels when we’ve run out of tape.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I work for a shipping company, and I could make that happen easily. ‘Course, we don’t work in cubicles… but the sealing things away in labels, definitely.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        SilvaNoir permalink

        Also, I’ve always been disappointed that they don’t offer any of us employees discounts on our shipping.

        (and I kind of made the same comment twice, it’s Friday and I’m tired)

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          TGIF and bring on the libations!
          Here’s a lime to get it started. ()

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4

          (∴)

          Here’s a coconut.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          (.()·.)

          I’ve put the lime in the coconut.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 June 4

          Ah, but turn your head on its side to the right, and it instantly becomes a smilie with a big nose.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          SilvaNoir permalink

          I see a siamese twin smiley, joined at the skull, and the one on the left only has one eye.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          And the one on the right’s eyes don’t match.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’m in my early Picasso period.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 June 4
        Grampdaddy permalink

        More like Salvador Dali – or maybe it should be Salvador (psycho-possessed) Dolly…. don’t make me come after you with a brush, bit**!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Why the asterisks minus a footnote? Or more asterisks to indicate action?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5

          Psst… Astro. I think that’s cuss*ng.

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 June 4

    “While on the [location] Craigslist, which they presumably had to type into the URL bar to even find, they managed to misspell [location] twice, in two different ways.”

    My google finds both ads at washingtondc.craigslist.org, but the misspelled location is not Washington.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4
      sarajean80 permalink

      Found it!

      I am very, very tempted to send a vaguely worded and incomprehensible email, just to see what would happen. Possibly the word-salad recipe from yesterday. I’m too lazy to do the actual work that would require, though.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 June 4

        DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        Laurelhach permalink

        I second Astro’s motion.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Uh… restroom’s thataway… —>

          Or you could go thataway <—-

          Of course, that way is nice ^

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          How about that way? ↑

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          And sideways and slantways and longways and backways and squareways and frontways…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Thanks Astro… It’s been a tough day… I just couldn’t think what I needed to type. FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY..

          And TM (Wonka is that you?)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Well, as far as I can tell, it’s just Johnny Depp.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Johnny Depp was not Willy Wonka, he was a Michael Jackson impersonator with a candy factory.

          Sorry, I’m not a big fan of remakes, especially that one. I cringe every time I hear about another beloved childhood favorite being pummeled into oozing jelly. (The “new Psycho” was an exceptional low.)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4

          Actually, I like the new version better. Much closer to the book. And the Gene Wilder version was before my time. Granted, I do like Wilder better as Wonka, but for the movie overall, I prefer the new one.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’m with SJ. While the Wilder version was a much further splash from the book… well… I didn’t actually care for the book.

          So basically the Wilder crew took a book I didn’t like and turned it into a movie I liked. Fair play to them.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4
      CapnMac permalink

      Came up Leesburg for me.

      Brain keeps wanting to “hear” and accent in this. Which creates as cipher of
      “sealing” = “selling”
      “staff” = “stuff”
      “praise” = “price”
      “center” = ???

      None of which gives a clue as to which home language this ESL speaker is using.

      Now, there is a Chelsea outlet mall in Leeburg. Oh, and a “Corner Outlet” in town.

      I got nothing.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4

        Sounds vaguely Scandinavian.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          jackie31337 permalink

          I was about to object, but I regularly see Finns write “stuff” instead of “staff”, and “prize” instead of “price”, so it’s actually somewhat plausible.

          The blueberry soup is now in use! Contact the stuff with questions about the prize.

          Adores: 0
  16. 2010 June 4

    Seal Everything!

    http://img541.imageshack.us/img541/9379/sealeverything.png

    Also, I came across this while googling. Adorable!
    http://fineartamerica.com/images-medium/flying-seal-pup-michelle-miron.jpg

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 4
      TacoMagic permalink

      [matt]Not as adorable when you consider that the seal is being carried by a carnivorous raptor. But I’m a depressing person by nature.[/matt]

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 4
        sarajean80 permalink

        Does anyone else see a giraffe?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          No. You need glasses… or new eyes.

          (just kidding/ it’s there)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          I see a Not.A.Zebra., but no Giraffe.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Said the seal to the giraffe, “Owl see you later, we’re off to the club.”

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        SilvaNoir permalink

        What a mean thing to say about that athlete 😉

        Adores: 1
  17. 2010 June 4
    TacoMagic permalink

    *Cries quietly to himself*

    I really need to learn to stay away from the comment section over at the cheezeburger site.

    *Drinks heavily*

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 4

      Alright… I’ll bite.

      SCENE I: opens on YSaC Snark Lounge, with new grass carpet.

      Astrognash: [Snarkastically]Why?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        LimeLolly permalink

        And which cheezeburger site? They’ve got a ton of them.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          The original one.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Ah… I feel your pain.
          They don’t type with mugs.

          *hands drink to Taco*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Come, tell us what happened, and we’ll provide lulz to make it feel better.

          **Whips out video camera**

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Oh Dear God Llama-Nun…

          TEH HORROR! TEH HORROR! IT ARE HORR0RFUL!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          What happened? This; horrible, horrible this.

          A lesson to those birthing a Meme:

          Doing something once in a while to mock it: Sarcastic and funny.

          Doing something all the time to mock it: More annoying than the actual thing. You become worse than the thing you mock.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          saajean80 permalink

          *peekses owt frum unner teh beddibai*

          Comgrabyurelayshuns, jk2k!

          *skootzwifakwiknes bak unner teh beddibai*

          That is an actual post from the comments section. It makes CraigsList posters look articulate.

          Where is Lola when we need her?(and her flask?)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          It was actually that post that made me kill the active tab and come back here.

          I felt unclean.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          **shudders**

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          True story: ICHC tried to buy YSaC. We said no, for various reasons. They started “Item not as described” as direct competition.

          That site seems to have failed. We’re still going.

          Adores: 19
        • 2010 June 4

          And that’s enough for a YSaC FIRST DOWN!!!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Yet another reason the Llama-Nun and Ostrimu rock!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4

          Wow. I went and found the sight, and it’s… flat-out unfunny. Heck, trying to decipher the cheezburger comments is more funny than that site.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          And they lasted … looks like around eight months or so.

          *snort*

          Most of the postings have around 15 or so comments, the only one that I found (I’m not really looking that hard, though) that has anything higher is the “good bye” post, and that has 96. I think we had more comments than that before lunch.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Item not as Described wasn’t nearly as good anyway. Their writing lacked depth and literary references.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Need boiling mouth bleach – stat!

          I frewed up immy wittle moufy, a wittle bit.

          Holy clothespin jeebus, ftw is the matter with those people….

          *goes to freezer for LARGE beverage of choice – screw it, takes whole bottle.*

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 4
        LimeLolly permalink

        No, ICHC can be pretty funny in a cutesy, fuzzy way. No snark at all. And for me, deciphering the comments gives me a headache… but sure explains why many people have trouble spelling. I was a little perturbed the first email/text I received from a friend that said ‘Bai’ for Good Bye. :facepalm:

        I don’t think I’m a grammar/spelling nazi, but sometimes people just push me to it.

        If ICHC attempts to buy YSaC again… offer to sell for elebenty billion. That’ll confuse ’em.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          And ask for a Not.A.Lionel cheese head!

          I can tolerate small doses of ICHC, then I have to flip to another site. Gives me a headache.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4

          Ask them to pay only in vintage wheaties, obo.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4
      sarajean80 permalink

      Oh it can’t be that bad…

      *opens new window*

      *Click*

      Dear sweet Clothespin Jeebus…

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        TacoMagic permalink

        Makes typing with mugs seem intelligible.

        Err…

        i3ews t6y0p8i btg w8ith jmu7rfws ws33j 8hn53eoo8tggbolle.l

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          I posted a comment using the e-mail with a gravatar of my John Lennon/Walrus pic, and the pseudonym of “Not.A.Walrus.” It’s awaiting moderation, and reads:

          “**Eyes widen dramatically**

          the horror…

          the horror…

          TEH HORROR!!!

          **runs screaming back to mama YSaC**”

          The grammar over there is fubarred.

          Edit: Taco… I’m scared. No, because I can make out vaguely what you’re trying to type without a translation. Granting, I have to stare for a good while, and check my keyboard for what keys are remotely close to each other, but I’m 907jhweruiocvuibnfg*, and that’s asdxcvaseruibn* me.

          *actually typed with a mug, this time.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          saajean80 permalink

          The demotivational poster site is reasonably tolerable, though.

          It’s like the black sheep cousin who shows up at a fancy tea party and spikes the punch with Absolut.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Indeed. Some of their spinoff/absorbed sites are tolerable, and I comment on them occasionally (I stalk Mudsy over at Lovely Listing from time to time).

          However, I’ve never found a place where the snark is quite as fresh or as high quality as YSaC. YSaC is the only one where I comment on a daily basis.

          Of all the “Snarkblogs” I visit daily, YSaC is the ONLY site that has both made Ulysses references AND had them understood by a fair number of the commenters.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          Speaking of which, while I always recommend getting a physical copy: for those who are short of cash Ulysses is Public Domain.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Huh. I always assumed you were referencing the Roman version of The Odyssey.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Forgive him, O blessed saints of snark, he is young and knows not what he does.

          (You’ll get to Ulysses eventually in Honors English, it’s like being hit in the brain with a brick.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4

          What nationality is the author? (This is instrumental in discovering which year of English)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Irish. James Joyce, if it makes a difference.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          Oh, then either Senior Year, or never in High School. (‘Round these parts, it goes like so:

          9 – English-Language Literature
          10- World Literature (Meaning, if it had to be translated, it goes)
          11- American Literature
          12- English Literature (Shakespeare, 1984, Chaucer, that stuff)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’m sure the only people who ever truely understood ALL of Ulysses are Issac Izzy and Capnmac.

          I read it from time to time when I feel like I need to punish challenge myself after a particularly simple or terrible read. Every time I get it just a little bit more.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4

          I don’t think iSack will be in today, somehow. Recently, I can only recall seeing him in passing.

          uy rtyguy7ghujh rt589ty asdweruioxcvwer g7uybn aQWASrt tyuiotyur bnuyrttyiopuyvbdf razxduiokl*

          *I think you may have driven him away with your mug-typing, Taco.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Bridgete permalink

          Alright…it’s settled. I will eventually read Ulysses, but it won’t be for a while. I’m working my way through Anna Karenina right now (reading lighter fare alongside it) so I think when I’m done with that I will have punished challenged myself enough.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          CapnMac permalink

          I still don’t get all of Ulysses, even after consulting Ulstermen and Dublin natives.
          Or, probably from not keeping up with the Ps & Qs . . .

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          christina permalink

          Dang, this thread meanedered so much that I can condense three replys into one.
          re ICHC trying to buy YSaC: Blessed be the integrity of our Llama nun! No offense to the original ICHC idea, but elebeny hundred sites with the same general concept gets stale fast.
          I do miss Lovely Listings (or as it used to be called: It’s Lovely, I’ll Take It!) and used to comment a bit when it was a blogspot page, but my phone hates the new format and the pics don’t download correctly.
          And finally, regarding Joyce, he’s next on my list of re-reads from my smartypants college days and yes, reading Cap’n Mac’s contributions here was my inspiration (I’m starting with Kerouac’s Doctor Sax, babby steps for me).

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Christina: “Doctor Sax.” That’ll be 20¢

          Adores: 0
  18. 2010 June 4
    TacoMagic permalink

    I like to pretend that the comments slow down around this time everyday for some reason OTHER than that we’re all closing up at work and preparing for the drive home.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 4
      LimeLolly permalink

      You have reached the desk of “LimeLolly”. I am away from desk at the moment. Please leave your name, number and a brief message. I may return your call… or not.

      *beep*

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 4
        LimeLolly permalink

        edit: away from ‘my’ desk

        Nothing like a good smart alecky comeback, ruined by gramma and her ‘r’.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 4

          But that ruins the zen.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4

      Taco: I like to pretend it’s because everyone’s conspiring against the fascist regime that is McDonald’s.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 4
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Good luck on your last two finals!!!! My son is there also (Honers Algebra 2 and Honers English).

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, I was away from the computer.

      Not even in the house.

      But, managed to cheat Death once again, despite the best efforts of the driving-while-texting crowd.

      Which makes me wonder. Can one post a listing on CL by phone?
      Could some of the illiteracy be nothing but an inability to proofread auto-completed text?

      Or, are the Sparkys screwing up cause it’s hard to text that CL listing with a foot-long Coney with double chilli in traffic?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4

        Coney?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Limelolly permalink

          Astro, me lad, :shakes head:

          Coney= big, yummy hotdog. Got it’s name from the hotdogs sold at Coney Island, New York.

          Start your traveling fund for when you graduate. I’ll contribute by sending you this fabulous chicken stachue you can sell.

          *Though why Sonic calls their dogs a coney, I’ll never know. Not even close to the real thing.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4

          I only knew coneys as rabbits, and that only from LotR.

          ‘Round these parts, we call ’em hot dogs or dogs. Granted, we also have those bright red monstrosities…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          I have it on good* authority that Bright Leaf hot dogs(those bright red ones, they usually come in a bag of about a million**) get that color because they are boiled in blood.***

          Enjoy!

          * My brother in law, who once convinced me he had a glass eye. He doesn’t.

          ** Possibly not true.

          ***Also possibly not true. I’m not sure if you can boil blood without it clotting up into a big mess.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Limelolly permalink

          I believe Nathan’s brand is the owner/maker of the original coneys. Hey look, you can order them from online!

          *toddles off to find credit card*

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4
        Bridgete permalink

        The iPhone has a CL app and you can create postings as well as browse postings from that app. The posting creation had a few bugs when I tried to use it, but that was about a year ago so it’s probably better by now. I can’t tell you about other smartphones because I only have an iPhone…but there may be similar apps available for those phones as well.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          You’re so right about the bugs. What you enter into an iPhone CL app:

          I’m a state licensed roofer who is taking on private projects in order to support his family. I have over 20 years of experience in the roofing business and can provide a girth of references. I’m inexpensive and willing to work around your busy schedule. Thank you.

          And the app posts:

          ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER!

          Adores: 10
    • 2010 June 4
      Laurelhach permalink

      Hahaha, I was at my school’s blue-white football game, intimidating the upcoming freshmen. We band kids are way too cool.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 5

        Hm. We Band Kids at my school have Spring and Summer practices for that. Our first football game isn’t until August, and they’re all supposed to be green and white attire, although on Homecoming it’s coded by grade.

        Adores: 0
  19. 2010 June 4

    Really, Google? Really?

    http://i49.tinypic.com/55ovut.jpg

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 4
      Bridgete permalink

      *headdesk*

      You know…I’m rarely at a desk. I should really say something more like *headlaptop*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 4

        try *facepalm*. It comes with a picture of Picard.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 4
          Bridgete permalink

          Ah, perfect! Thanks.

          Adores: 0
  20. 2010 June 4

    People searching for “You Suck at Cragslist” regularly shows up on my search term results.*

    *Then again, so does “granny panties”. I don’t want to know.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 4

      Yes, but “You Such at Craigslist”?

      I think Google has a bad sense of humor, or something.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4
      Limelolly permalink

      As long as there are no pictures with those ‘granny panties’, YSaC is safe.
      I think.

      *checks for hidden targets*

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 4
      TacoMagic permalink

      So that’s why my search for granny panties always lead here…

      I mean, boy… that’s weird.

      Adores: 0
  21. 2010 June 5
    Windrose permalink

    sarajean, I had a truly horrid day, do you mind self-punching tonight? Thanks.

    G’night, Emerald City!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      *sigh*

      Fine.

      *Thunk*

      Ow.

      *Thunk*

      Ow.

      *Thunk*

      Ow.

      Adores: 9

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