YSaC, Vol. 688: In your face, Dawkins!

2010 June 5

metal patio items/house gods


My tennants move out leaving a lot of metal /patio items on the back yard come and get it anything that is there is for free,first come firs serve.we also have furniture,kitchen gods ,rugs,a 52 inc tv it wont turn on is free too, two sofa,one sectional two dresser kitchen gods,chritmas decoration ,3 rugs including a persian, computer speakers,One big TV.two barbecue pit, and more
call me at ###-###-####
I will be there today and tomorrow
first come first serve.
I will sale some items for a cheap price but most of them are free.

You know, man’s search for faith in an uncertain world has been an ongoing struggle for millennia. (I don’t care WHAT Firefox says, that IS the correct spelling of “millennia”) The quest to understand the nature of the divine has encompassed the logical reasoning of Saint Augustine, the mysticism of the gnostics, and the nihilism of Nietzsche and Sartre.

Where can we find meaning in a seemingly empty and hostile universe? How can we come to a personal revelation that makes some sort of sense in today’s increasingly confusing and shrill media landscape? In short, how can one ever hope, realistically to find God?

Oh, wait. Found ’em on Craigslist. Never mind.

Thanks for the spiritual awakening, Courtney!

93 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 June 5

    Oh, almighty Frigidarius! I am but your humble servant of the kitchen! I am not worthy! I am not worthy!

    Now I shall pray.

    Dear God in the Kitchen, I would be totally jazzed if you could fill up with the cream cheese with chives, so I don’t have to bug someone to go to the store and get it. Oh, and milk too.

    Adores: 19
  2. 2010 June 5
    Grampdaddy permalink

    I certainly need the kitchen gods – I’ve been concerned about what to do with my frequent burnt sacrifices.

    Adores: 11
  3. 2010 June 5

    My question is: which Tennants is he asking to move out and leave all of this stuff?

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 June 5

      David Tennant, duh! Now that he’s been replaced, his landlord clearly doesn’t want him anymore…

      I think he’s a better Doctor than the new guy, IMO.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 June 5
        Laurelhach permalink

        Oh, I don’t know about that. I was really skeptical about Mr. Smith as the Doctor, but I’ve been enjoying this season a lot. Of course, it could be because I think the writing is better. I loved Tennant, though, he’s a fabulous actor.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 6
          Jen permalink

          No! Daleks in primary colours, looking as though they’re about to teach me my ABCs are NOT cool. Though will admit liking new Dr despite him being Not.A.Tennant.

          BUT as Camille already pointed out the lares/penates connection, I present what I hope is a linkety to Ten and Donna as kitchen gods.

          This is why I heart this site. Literature, classics, fantasy geekery and coffee tips. All in one snarkily wrapped package. πŸ™‚

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 6
          Laurelhach permalink

          Meh, the new Daleks are wierd, but at least I can tell them apart now. They’ve changed so much from the first few episodes. You used to be able to defeat them with a cloak and then push them over.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Hey, where has Ten been, anyway?

      Was wondering if his Tardis was broken.

      Free Tardis parts if you do not anger the the kitchen deities? Dang, if only I was not headed to Houston!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 5
        Limelolly permalink

        Ten Been?
        Ben Ten?

        I have a whole thesis on the similarities.

        Adores: 0
  4. 2010 June 5

    Kitchen God? I assume they mean the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
    Ramen.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 June 5
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Yum! Homemade Noodley Goodness.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 5

        Ramen, eh? Would that be as opposed to varelse?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Wait about five years, you will learn, as almost all collegians typically do, of the miracle which is ramen.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Astrognash (or Not.A.Walrus.) permalink

          Just when you think it’s safe to make an innocent sci-fi reference…

          BTW: I look differnt becuase I’m away in Roanoke, VA. We’re visitng relations.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      Laurelhach permalink

      Watch it, I think you could be excommunicated from the First YSaC Church of Clothespin Jeebus of Latter-Day Not.A.Lions for such sacrilege.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        As Barista Queen of the First YSaC Church of Clothespin Jeebus of Latter-Day Not.A.Lions, I can say that we welcome members of all faiths, no matter how wrong and misguided they are. In fact, we have a special refreshments table set up, with Kool-Aid specially made for the blasphemous non-believers.
        It’s almond-flavored.

        Adores: 14
  5. 2010 June 5
    Grampdaddy permalink

    By the way, I also want to be the first to claim the 52 inch TV that doesn’t work. I never* watch TV, and I’m tired of people asking why I don’t have a big screen**. The “doesn’t turn on” set would be perfect!

    *ALMOST completely true.

    **I don’t like to talk about the size of my screen. Let’s just leave it that I’ll put my screen up against Taco’s “Rod of Wonder” anytime.

    *Wow, that didn’t come out right*

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 June 5

      Grampdaddy, are you by any chance what would be referred to as “an old coot”?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 June 5
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Astrognash, are you by any chance what would be referred to as “a young whippersnapper”?

        Oh, umm, yeah, I probably would be. T’will be entering into my 3rd score of years shortly. However, as I tell my childrens – “I may get older, but I refuse to grow up.” They agree that I have proven my immaturity frequently.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 June 5

          Touché, Grampdaddy. Touché.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5

          And God Bless You for that, Grampdaddy!

          I’ve given my children strict orders that if I ever grow up they’re to take me out to the woods and leave me for dead.

          I think, no I know, they’d do it, too.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Touche’? Heck, I never even looked at her!

          *sits in corner, pondering, “Perhaps I should change my name to ‘Touche’Magic’…*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          CJ – and you also! I’m also trying to convince them to put me into a large ‘Hefty’ bag out at the curb on trash day, when my time finally comes.

          May we both find ourselves in the woods together – we can search for for not.a.lions and trucks with bees together…

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Dear Isaac – Thank you for bringing some much needed Shakespearean culture to this discussion. It is always good to know that you and Capn can elevate the mental age of the rest of us to somewhere above 3rd grade.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 5

          I am always happy to bring the highbrow literary references. That’s my job, y’know.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Now, I find I keep thinking of our dear Astro as being Joey Logano.

          Which is likely apt given the #20 driver resides over in Concord NC.

          But equally inapt for Mr Logano being four years’ older than Astro, too. (And for Astro only having caused accidental damage to the odd computer monitor, not wrecking orange cars at over 150mph.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Eclecticblue permalink

          Grampdaddy: That Hefty bag might work, but what if you’re not bound for glory, but to that other place you would not choose? πŸ˜‰

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Eclecticblue –

          Other place? – Yonkers??

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Maureen permalink

          Grampdaddy, not yet being in your third score puts you some years short of your 40th birthday. And since my darling wife has already had hers, I refuse to call anyone who hasn’t met their 40th an old coot.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          [corey]Sorry Dear Maureen, a score is 20 years (think of A. Lincoln – “Four score and 7 years ago….) as opposed to a decade (10 years)[/corey]

          So, that would put me at reaching 60 shortly and, when compared to Astrognash, that makes me an ‘old coot’.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Maureen permalink

          I know what a score is. Your first score is your first 20 years, your second score is your next 20, and so forth. So if you are still in your second score, you aren’t 40 yet. When you turn 60, you will have completed three score and be in your FOURTH score, thereby sounding really old to someone who doesn’t know the score.

          Maureen, who doesn’t know the rules of the game, but keeps score anyway. My only option, because nobody’s asked me to give away the score in a while now. Maybe that’s because last time I didn’t cut my fingernails, and therefore there was scoring. Next time I’ll wear scoring pads.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 5
          Limelolly permalink

          Ah… but Gramp… you said that you were about to ‘enter’ your third score (41-60).
          I just can tell… you’re older than I am, and I’m exiting my second score of life.

          But luckily for us all, your mental and emotional age is much, much…. much younger. 9…10? Young enough that potty humor is still hilarious. πŸ™‚

          *ouch* stop with the froggies, I bruise easily

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Sorry folks, four score is 80 years (four score and 7 years was 87 years before Lincoln’s Gettysburg address, when the nation was founded). Therefore, three score is 60 years, with or without catmath….. The difference is that a “score” denotes the completion of twenty years, not one through 20.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 5
        Limelolly permalink

        D*76nit… forgot that explanation from class years ago… always gotta be the teacher doncha?

        Let me just say, I don’t deserve that ‘F’. Can I do some extra credit to make up for it?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          [corey]Actually, ‘score’ is a tally of twenty, such as achieving 20 points and placing one tally mark on the record sheet [/corey]

          Not so much always gotta be the teacher as having it beat into me by MY 4th grade teacher – literally – the ruler on the knuckles method of education.

          *Passes Lolly a vodka and lime in companionship, changes ‘F’ to ‘A’*

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      Limelolly permalink

      Can you call it a curtain instead? Screen just gives me some horrific nightmares.
      Thanks.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 June 5
        Grampdaddy permalink

        My curtain of compulsion?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 5

          His drapery of desire?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 5
          Limelolly permalink

          or
          Awning of Awareness
          Partition of Perfection
          Shroud of Secrecy
          Shield of Savoryness – (on second thought… no)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 5
          Laurelhach permalink

          This needs to stop before I run out of mind bleach.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 5
          Limelolly permalink

          Astro ordered more brain bleach last week. It’s under the red table, just bow in reverence to the kitchen god before taking a jug.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Bewbtube of Bounty?

          I do like “Shield of Savoryness”, Limelolly. Perhaps we’ll put it to a vote.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 5
          mudslicker permalink

          You are the SnarkMaster today Gramdaddy.

          πŸ˜‰

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 June 5
        Limelolly permalink

        Grampdaddy with his 52 inch Shield of Savoryness….
        hmm, what’s the pixel quality of that? πŸ™‚

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Limelolly – difficult to tell. According to CL poster, it won’t power up….

          Adores: 1
  6. 2010 June 5

    Dear Landlord:

    We, the recent tenants of your dwelling, feel it necessary to contact you regarding one item left behind.

    The kitchen god.

    You see, we’ve relocated to a lovely house of death that reeks of blood – it’s perfect! And after acquiring a sadistic/sensual dolly from eBay (it was a steal), we find that she is in much need of a kitchen god to satisfy her insatiable appetite for sprinkled kitties.

    Please return said item, as quickly as possible.

    Thank you,

    Your Former Tennant,
    David

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 June 5
      CapnMac permalink

      CJ, what probability is it that the culinary idol is a front-yard residing, concrete cabezza?

      Adores: 0
  7. 2010 June 5
    Camille permalink

    [corey] In ancient Rome, the household gods were known as lares and penates. [/corey] And I’m sure they do not take kindly to being sold on Craiglist. Chances are good that they will exact an awful revenge: the seller will soon be infested with a swarm of angry bees, or a pack of hypno-dogs, or a bevy of bad puns, or something.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 June 5
      Limelolly permalink

      Well, they aren’t actually being sold. The ad says most of it is free.
      Does that make this a ‘missionary outreach’?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 June 5
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Depends on the position they take on this.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 June 5
          Windrose permalink

          And how big their outreach actually is. They need a web page with a massive link to be truly effective.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          You always want to make sure you see eye-to-eye with your missionary outreach.

          Adores: 8
      • 2010 June 5
        Maureen permalink

        No thanks, SJ, I don’t want ANYONE’s outreach in my eye. Particularly if it’s about to firs serve.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          You’ve got something in your eye. It looks like…

          *cleans glasses, then squints at screen*

          Is that a ferret foot?

          Adores: 0
  8. 2010 June 5

    “First come, firs serve”

    I see. If I rock up late, the firs will be busy serving someone else?

    And what kind of firs are they? Douglas? Norwegian?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 5

      Well, judging from the way that they’ve been pining for the fjords, I think they’re probably Norwegians.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 June 6
        Wendy Bear permalink

        Pining for the Fjooooords? He’s bloody demigoded!

        Adores: 1
  9. 2010 June 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    I want the one sectional two dresser kitchen gods! I’ve been looking for a practical deity that offers different storage options.

    And a merry chritmas to all!

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 June 5
      Linnee permalink

      And a merry chritmas it will be, sarajean, if i get there in time for the decoration.
      Hope it’s mintey.

      Adores: 0
  10. 2010 June 5
    Windrose permalink

    I know I have birds on the brains, but those metal bits look like a cage of some sort. Hmmmm.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I though they looked like some sort of shelving unit that had been taken apart, but I like the cage idea better.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 5
        Limelolly permalink

        It is a cage.

        An Extreme Fighting cage.

        I hope there are no other ‘surprises’ in the backyard!

        Adores: 0
  11. 2010 June 5
    Windrose permalink

    Ah, I see Taco’s box is back from the shop, and he’s in it. Er. Uh. No, I’ll leave it.

    Adores: 0
  12. 2010 June 5
    CapnMac permalink

    Since we have no real topic anyway, for you connoisseurs of the terpsichorean muse:

    One NiTe 0nly

    Inappropriate Cat Touching

    opens for

    Ginzu Cat Tao
    (formerly Neko Ginzu Waza)

    May the kuriya kami be pleased.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 June 5
      Limelolly permalink

      Do they sing ‘Scratching The Bedpost’, or ‘Meowing When The Sun Goes Down?’

      Because those are my favorites.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        The Crazy Cat Lady Starter Set is doing a lovely rendition of “There’s A Cat On The Porch!” right now. Seems to be more of an interpretive dance number, what with the running back and forth to different windows and “digging” on the glass, but there is a bit of hissing and growling involved.

        Adores: 4
    • 2010 June 5
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Personally, I really like Inappropriate Cat Touching’s new hit, “Don’t Spank the Kitty”, especially the refrain”

      “Ooh, Ooh, Ooh.
      Oooh, Oooh, Oooh,
      Oooooooooooooooooooh, Yeah!

      Adores: 0
  13. 2010 June 5
    Eclecticblue permalink

    Dear Llamanun/Powers That Bee,
    I’m trying to switch from the mobile site to the desktop site, so I can get the nifty comment threading… I tried to click on the little “mobile site on” switch, but nothing happened… I tried to click on the link at the very bottom that says “Switch to our desktop site, and it reloaded the page… To the mobile site (it overrode the option?). Just thought you might want to know, if this isn’t already a known problem. I’m running the stock browser on Android 2.1, in case that makes a difference.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5

      Huh. It’s doing the same thing on mine. I’ll look at those settings.

      Adores: 0
  14. 2010 June 5
    MrsBeckett permalink

    Awesome! I could use a house God, and a kitchen God. I wonder if they help keep my house clean, and help me think of what to cook for meals, and help me cook?

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 June 5
      Eclecticblue permalink

      Ditto on that one! Let me know if you come across a good deal πŸ™‚

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      Limelolly permalink

      I have no gods kitchen or otherwise, and those sneaky elves keep escaping from the basement. :sigh:
      Slave labor is so hard to come by these days.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 5
        Laurelhach permalink

        The elves stick around longer if you don’t leave socks lying around. True fact.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Eclecticblue permalink

          No, I’m pretty sure you have to actually GIVE them the socks before they run off… or else, how would they do your laundry?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Limelolly permalink

          Ah, there’s my problem.

          I hate not having matching socks, but I could never find the corresponding mate.
          I see now those elves skated out with them. So the dryer really isn’t a black hole?

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 June 5
    Windrose permalink

    This goes with yesterday’s coffee thread, but then again, we almost always have a coffee/tea/water with significant impurities thread going. 8)

    http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/archive.php?today=954&comic=1

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      Nice! Another comic to add to my ever-growing list.

      Speaking of yesterday’s never-ending coffee thread, I tried the caramel-in-the-coffeepot thing Taco recommended yesterday this morning (I had no caramels so I used Rolos instead) and it is very good!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 5
        Limelolly permalink

        Rolos….. not just for snacking, anymore.

        Better buy the big bag next time.

        Adores: 0
  16. 2010 June 5
    mudslicker permalink

    I see our favorite little gordito fairy gets another punchity punch. Pinto beans.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      Limelolly permalink

      Guacamole

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 5
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Don’t forget the sour cream!!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Camille permalink

          And the salsa.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 5
          Limelolly permalink

          the flour tortillas

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 5
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Margaritas

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 6
      Windrose permalink

      Official Punchity Punch Punch, Taco. You wear it well.

      G’Night, Roanoke!

      Adores: 0
  17. 2010 June 5
    Limelolly permalink

    Goodnight, deity. (if you really exist)

    Adores: 0
  18. 2010 June 6
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    “3 rugs including a persian, computer speakers,One big TV”

    I’ve head of persian rugs, but what the hell are computer speakers rugs and One big TV rugs?

    Adores: 3
  19. 2010 June 6
    queensbee permalink

    will prayer to the kitchen god make you a better cook, or will they come and clean your kitchen? hope i dont have to wait until critmas, whenever that is.

    Adores: 0

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