YSaC, Vol. 690: How not to be seen.
Like New Beautiful and Elegant Wooden Blinds . These blinds were in a John Weiland home and are in great shape. There are seven available and would like to sell as a group. Sizes are:
Door: 24 x 72
(3) 29 1/4 x 73 1/2
(2) 27 1/8 x 73 1/4
(1) 39 1/8 x 73 1/4
The color is “almost” white and they open and close by wand. They can be completely raised up also.
Ah, the perils of selling blinds while you’re in the witness protection program. Let’s see, is there any other way this person could have stood in front of the object they are trying to sell but have been less of a distraction?
Gorrilla outft minus the mask (dont ask) – $30
it was 200$
honestly it is used for halloween sure, but better for pranks and shit.call steve at xxxxxxxxxx
Hmmmm. I really, really want to ask. And I guess the costume wouldn’t be much good without the mask, because it wouldn’t hide Jimmy the Snitch’s identity. Okay, maybe that won’t work. What else can we find?
I am selling my 30 gallon Aquarium. Comes with black stand, black hood w/ light and an undergravel filter. Perfect for someone who’s just starting or looking to upgrade to a bigger tank. If you remove the child in the picture, that is the aquarium in the background. Sorry it’s not that good, never thought to get a picture before we tore it apart. Cash only please.
That’s a much better solution! Now we can’t see either the person in front of the item for sale OR the item itself! Everybody wins!
Thanks, Erin, Meg, and Marcy!
“The Staypuffed Marshmallow Man approves of these blinds!”
Taco! Did you see you were in the Don’t Suck box on Saturday? I punched you and everything!
Thanks WR. I had not seen that, as it was a busy weekend. Had to go into work 3 times for a critical system that went down and it was our anniversary this weekend so I spent about 8 hours in a hot kitchen making the yearly anniversary meal. Not to mention all the yardwork we did because it was beautiful outside.
I was extremely lucky that it was a nice cool weekend here, otherwise cooking would have been very unpleasant.
Stay looks like he’s been rolling around in Oreo crumbs.
I’d just kind of assumed they caught him without all his makup on.
Sorry, meant “assmued”.
Scotty, one to beam up.
I ain’t goin’ on no transporter!
Wait a sec, I’ve got to go change my shirt to blue. Or yellow.
Anything but red. That’s a friggin’ death sentence.
Except in TNG where, as a homage to the first Startrek, all the commanding officers wore red (in fact I don’t think any redshirts die in TNG).
Most of the expendibles in TNG wore gold/yellow. So you may want to avoid those colors too. In fact, blue seems to be the only safe color. Well green if it’s a female skin tone, don’t think Kirk would ever allow harm to come to the green skinned.
Yeah, blue is pretty much the safe bet. Especially if it’s skin tight and low cut.
Follow the example of ad#3. Go tighter than skintight. Go bone-tight.
But weren’t the medical/science guys always getting some weird disease or being possessed by an alien intelligence?
Yes, but they always survived the ordeal. They just had lots of pain and suffering, which is totally fine.
Or I could just be an android instead. You have no proof that I am not.
Ah, but a Vulcan would be so much more awesomer.
We also have no proof that you are.
C’mon Laurelhach – show us your access port!
My geekometer just busted.
sj, that sounds so… dirty….
We oughtta defragment you.
Sadly my drive has been corrupted and I am beyond all hope.
Let that be a lesson to you – always use an anti-virus program before messaging with strangers!
(Do:] )
Unfortunately, brain bleach is ineffective on the positronic brains of androids. I can, however, run an emergency deletion program.
do {
echo snark;
snark++
snark = post.reference(:) + snark;
}
while {snark != ydsacbox.acceptconditions}
[ST corey]On Enterprise, everybody wore blue, except the MACOs–and there was no telling who’d snuff it.[corey]
(setq veritu T)
(while veritu
(initget 1 “Yes No 42”)
(setq veritu (getkword “\nAre You an Android?: “))
(if (= veritu “42”)
(princ “\nYou are correct\n”)
(princ (strcat (chr 13) “Zombie!”))
);end if
);end while
if (iPlayer == iTacoMagic and era >= con.iSnarkAge):
cityList = PyPlayer(iPlayer).getCityList()
for pCity in cityList:
city = pCity.GetCy()
if (city.getName() == ‘Fabulous YSaC’):
city.setName(“Takko-Land”, False)
Thank you, you have fried my circuits. I will never attempt CatProgramming again.
Hey Taco – did you know that Stay has a twin brother? Yep, it’s Mich-the Michelin Man. One went the path of the steel-belted and tread-fast, and the other got himself into such a gooey, sticky, situation he had to be relocated through witness protection plan.
The Michelin Man is named Bibendum.
And as long as I’m pedantizing, the Ghostbusters marshmallow man is spelled “Stay Puft.”
On the other hand, were he not quoting, it would be spelled correctly (save for the issue of whether it is two words, and whether they take a space or hyphen). For once.
Well yeah Isaac. He had to change it when Stay entered the “program”.
Fitness Protection Program?
Gotta love Wikipedia. A comment in the edit screen says not to change tyre to tire, and to see the discussion page, but there is no mention of such a thing on said discussion page.
But I have no desire to get into another edit war, so…
Ahhh, a ghost! And a skeleton!
Someone call those guys on TV so they can bring out their useless electronic gadgets. While the undead are eating their brains we can escape to safety.
Undead? You mean the zomb
See, that sort of thing is why I don’t say “zomb
Oh, hell…
“That’s it! These freaking undead have had their way with the denizens of Commentville for as long as I can remember. But no longer! Everyone get your shotguns, your swords, and your explosives. it’s time we fight back!”
Undead begin pouring into the room.
“Here they come!”
An epic, drawn out, and terribly expensive fight scene follows. So complex and awesome is this scene that it can’t be included in this post. By the end, our heroes are surrounded by the fallen undead. Several of the group have also fallen, but those that remain strike heroic poses and do other “winning hero” stuff. There is a lot of making out.
“Finally, the day is ours! Let’s raise a glass to all our fallen comrades and remember their sacrifice! And let it be remembered forever that on this day we defeated the zomb
I’m a denizen? Of Commentville, no less? And here I thought I was just a resident of Snark Suburb.
Cool.
Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting zombies in this Monday-to-Friday comment section!
I don’t think the Monkees fought the undead, I think it was The Beatles.
I’d go see it.
No one ever believes the HP of screaming adolescents.
Good thing it was not Blue meanies, you need a Yellow Submari
Great, they got ‘im.
Shall we bury him in the churchyard alone with his name?
Or would a non-referential burial by sea be more appropriate?
As long as there none of the above-referenced pervy making out
with either dead heroes or zombi
The first rule of not being seen is not to stand up.
I thought the first rule of not being seen was not to talk about not being seen.
No, that’s Book Club.
“Mr. Nesbitt has learned the first lesson of not being seen: not to stand up. However, he has chosen a very obvious hiding place.”
Kelli’s right.
The first rule on not being seen in to avoid eye contact.
Unless it’s a teacher. Then they’re guaranteed to call on you.
Kelli — just saw some Monty Python last week, so I got it. 😉 I believe it was “And Now For Something Completely Different” if anyone else wants to stream it from Netflix.
It’s also from season 2 of the flying circus if memory serves. The “And Now For Something Completely Different” version is more refined though, since they had a bigger budget.
You’re correct Taco. “Now” was full of season 1 and 2 done in a “glossier” style
Look, they got a picture of Bigfoot! I wonder how they got it to stand in their livingroom?
Peanut butter.
If you want me to explain that, TOUGH!
Bwahahahahahaha! *Runs into the wall*
Ok yeah, Taco really needs some coffee.
Taco, sometimes you remind me of a friend from home. But maybe it’s just a Pacific NW thing…
The poor thing looks so malnourished! It’s nothing but skin and bones. Mostly bones.
Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones.
The foot bone’s connected to the- snark bone. The snark bone’s connected to the- 5th metahumortarsal!
They just need a little BBQ sauce.
[anatomy corey]
Tarsal bones are those of the ankle; metatarsals are of the arch of the foot.
Humerus is the upper arm bone; a metahumerus would be either a secondary humerus or a vestigal one. One connected to a foot, no less.
Which would suggest some form of piniped.
So, are you, young Astro, attemting to suggest we are all Walri?
I’d recommend choosing wisely, speaking as a former beachmaster.
[/corey]
It was actually an attempt to create a mash-up of metatarsal and meta-humor. Were I referencing the humerus, I would have used an ‘e’ instead of an ‘o’.
Well, meta-carpal (with the hyphen) probably would have prevented the corey, since the image was all too Col Cotton Hill with no shins . . .
Given that one’s “funny bone” is the burses of the epicondyle of the humerus, a meta-connection to the carpal structures could be similarly jocular.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but here’s what I got from that:
Meta-Carpal would have also been funny, because it’s close to the “funny bone”, which is not actually a bone.
Is that basically it, or am I completely off?
Capn: I thought the “Funny Bone” was the nerve bundle inside the olecranon fossa; since striking this area causes the tingling sensation due to acute nerve shock.
It’s been a few years since my medical courses though, so I may not be remembering that correctly.
To Astro: Yes.
To TM, also yes, the olecranon follows the epicondyle of the humerus paralleling ,and partially within the bursa of the ligament.
Bursitis of the epicondyle (aka “tennis elbow”) can both increase and decrease the risk of ‘striking the funny bone.” Bursitis, the inflammation of the sheath the ligaments run within constricts the channel the nerves are within. The edema (swelling) can protect the nerves by increasing the “padding” effect. Just as the the bursal irritation can make the axons more susceptible to striking insult.
I was right?
Score!
Capn: You wouldn’t happen to be my Medical Anatomy 002 professor in disguise would you? In those two paragraphs you demonstrated more anatomical knowledge than most of the Masters students who ran the anatomy “labs”.
I don’t understand why they just didn’t use their ‘Cloaks of Invisibility’.
I think Cloaks of Invisibility show up on camera sort of like the way that infrared LEDs do.
That’s why they were so common in the Mid Evil age, nobody had cameras so the cloaks worked better. Now that everyone has a camera phone I think their popularity has waned.
Except in Lancaster County, and on http://amish-online-dating.com/
Where did these people learn their photography skills? The GIT-R-DONE Art Academy?
They didn’t have the tuition money for The Obscene Monkey Institute of Art. (Mama’s tips dropped off after her left implant deflated.)
SJ, you’ve suddenly got a “Southern Bell” vibe going.
Hmm, that’s odd – I don’t work for the phone company.
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Sarajean phone!
That’s not what my phone sounds like! It plays “What’s This?” from TNBC.
Wouldn’t SJ be a PacBell customer?
BellSouth, actually – Or AT&T, which I think used to be BellSouth.
Let me guess what medium they work in? Grumbacher Cadmium Feces?
I hope not, that stuff’s toxic! They use the more enviromentally friendly Yellow Ocher Manure.
Yes, but they still insist on using the Mercury Glitter.
#1: Stay-Puft/Michelin man? I think it looks more like one of my ex-aunt’s standard poodles in need of a trim …
Also: When I read “John Weiland home” my brain thought of Scott Weiland. Now I’m thinking about all of the fun stuff a person could get out of the house of a musician with known substance issues! Rock and roll!
#2: Why do I suspect that the “and shit” could be literal? That’s what makes me not want this, with or without the mask.
#3: Forget the kid, I still have to look hard to find the tank! Is it like one of those pictures where things are hidden? It’s giving me flashbacks to reading “Highlights” at the doctor’s office.
I think #1 looks like they’re covered in TV snow…which reminds me of “The Ring” and now…well, in an attempt to avoid spoilers, let’s just say that picture really creeps me out.
I say, if anybody hasn’t seen The Ring by now, they deserve to be spoiled….
p.s. a creepy girl with a hair problem and a Girl-Scout-cookie-name, Samara, gets thrown into the well by her mother and now is out for revenge on anyone who watches a killer videotape. Viewers will die within 7 days (you get a nice handy phone reminder right after viewing) and some guy kills himself in the bathtub with a toaster (what are the odds?) ; a bunch of horses kill themselves by running off a cliff; the creepy girl with the hair’s mother kills herself off the cliff too. and then the father of another creepy kid (Aidan Quinn, I think) in the movie dies when Samara climbs out of the flat screen and stares him to death after getting water all over his floor. Mom saves Aidan Quinn by helping him make a copy of the video for the library.
“bunch of horses kill themselves by running off a cliff”
I think they jumped off a boat too.
You also forgot to mention the 45 minutes of padding where the protagonist looks at the border of VHS tape.
Oh, the boat! I think it was the Mustang Ferry Company and not the Lemming Lipizzan Bungee Company. Thanks for correcting me.
Think of the wacky hijinxs that would have ensued if they had simply torrented that tape. Get out of town…
And called it “Hot asian teens!!!1!”.
Yeah, Hello Kitty on Krack.
Well, as long as you did it and not me, that doesn’t break my strict “no spoilers ever” rule.
Look closely at the imbonimable snowthing up top. You can faintly see the red glow of his mouth and eyes.
Holy Corolla, Astrognash… You completely took over the “talk amongst yourselves” section… (And now I’ve bumped you out. Bwa-ha-ha)
I like to make comments in short bursts of plenty.
And here I always thought you liked to say plenty in short bursts of comment. Henceforth, I see I must modify my opinion of you.
Isn’t that “The Invisible Monster” from Jonny Quest?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppAQZ9M96yA&feature=related
(starts to be visible at 1:45 in the clip)
Wow, punchapalluza today.
Kinda sorry I missed that gag.
*Is trying very hard not to repeat the gag now.
*Is trying very hard not to repeat the gag now.
*Is trying very hard not to choke and gag someone right now*
Is gagging now trying not to repeat
*gurgle*
*hiccup*
Sip. Repeat.
*hiccup*
Sip. Repeat.
*hiccup*
Number 8.
*Belch*
Number 8.
*Belch*
Number 8.
*Belch*
Number 9, Number 9, Number 9…
In Soviet Russia, repeat gags you!
In Soviet Kanada, Gags You Repeat!
In Communist Belgium, You Gag Repeatedly!
Number 1. The Larch. The Larch. The Larch.
“‘I Dig a Pygmy’, by Charles Hawtrey and the Deaf Aids… Phase One, in which Doris gets her oats!”
*Is not trying very hard not to not repeat the gag now.
Wow, Windrose is going to wear out her brass knuckles tonight. That’s the most people I’ve seen in the Box since the group prayer went up.
She herself is in there, too!
Good! She made me punch myself the other day, now she has to do that!
Is Windrose really going to have to punch the Ostrimu? Should I make popcorn for this? Emily Post says nothing about this situation.
Yeah, but PETA might have something to say about it.
The lorikeet versus the Ostrimu … I need to call my bookie!
I need to get my iPod. And a camera. Because
while my iPod takes video, IT DOES NOT TAKE PICTURES!!! GAH!
Maybe you can hold it very, very still and take very, very short videos.
I know, but you’d think that if it can take video, it would have picture taking ability as well.
Apple must be hiring off of Craigslist or something.
It does too take pictures!
Step 1: Record a video.
Step 2: Transfer the video to you computer.
Step 3: Convert it from the proprietary video format to something useful.
Step 4: Repeat step 3 with software that actually works.
Step 5: Play the video and pause it where you want the picture to be taken.
Step 6: Take a screenshot of the paused video.
Step 7: Import the screenshot into an image editing program and crop off everything you don’t want.
Step 8: Realize that doing it this way produces an awful picture.
Step 9: Buy a digital camera because it’s designed to take pictures.
There you go!
You see, the problem is that if I want video, I need the iPod in addition to the camera.
Our digital camera supposedly takes video, but it never does. We follow all the steps more or less exactly.
Here’s my way of solving that very problem:
Step 1: Go to a college about 3000 miles from home (Anything upwards of 1000 will work)
Step 2: Spend 4 years in college and another 3 in a Masters program.
Step 3: During that time meet a woman who you rather like and marry her.
Step 4: Get her pregnant.
Step 5: Have an adorable baby. (Ugly ones might work too)
Step 6: Mention to your parents (now grandparents of a new baby) that it’s such a shame that they will only be able to see the baby once or twice a year when you visit them.
Step 7: Parents suggest that they could buy you a video camera so that they could see the baby more often, if only through video of him/her.
Step 8: Agree that their idea is brilliant and graciously accept the funds to purchase the video camera.
Step 9: You now have a video camera.
Easy as pie!
Boy, my parents got a bad deal – they recieved a gumball machine the year I was born. (However they lived less than a hundred miles from my grandparents – is there a distance-to-gift-value ratio chart? I need a new laptop.)
Any more 9-step plans?
Not so sure that one will pan out for me quite as you’ve described.
As the first-time grammy of a baby girl that resides 2,995.4 miles from my home, I can vouch for the guaranteed workability of Taco’s solution. We also sent a webcam for their (older) laptop and opened a Snapfish account. And if you play your cards right, you can get care packages once a month that include baby safety items and clothes (because shopping for little baby things is just tooooo much fun).
Edit: P.S. @ SJ: Mr. Eyebrows will not part with his gumball machine. It is part of our living room decor. (sigh) Good thing I love that man!
Still, I want options. Especially because the college I plan to go to when I get out of high school is in-state.
Archie – Is it one of those tall cast-iron pedestal jobs, enameled a hideous burnt orange? ‘Cause if it is, I feel your pain.
Astro – One of the Big Three or somewhere else?
ECU.
For a laptop you’re looking at crossing an ocean I think.
For my ratio it’s about $1 for every 10 miles.
Indeed it is, SJ.
It has two redeeming qualities, however. First, the kids have been apprised that it takes a quarter to get candy out when they come for a visit. In reality, it does not. (Insert evil laugh of choice here) It is merely our feeble attempt to recoup the money that has gone out in support of said children over lo these many years. Second, I get to stock it. And I am partial to Hot Tamales and Good n Plenty.
I take my silver linings where I can get ’em.
I used to have one of those too, Archie! Luckily for my wife I
a) Hate gum.
b) Broke said gum-ball machine when I was 16 and had to get rid of it.
You’re trying very hard not to repeat the gag now?
… with a spoon.
a spoon!?
You fiend!
Possibly before your time, Astro.
Watch this video up to at least 2:05 in order to get your cultural enrichment.
Omigawd!
Like omigawd… you lived in ‘The Valley’ too?
Naw. But there was a moment when even kids on playgrounds in podunk central Texas towns were saying “Barf me out” and “Bitchin’.”
Thank all starry skies those phrases only lasted that one generation.
I tease young kiddos these days with those phrases and the looks of confusion just make my day. I feel old, but hey, at least they are as confused as I feel listening to them.
Though… to be fair… I believe Astro was referencing Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves?
*just trying to bridge the generational gap*
Actually, I was just being silly.
*flicks Astro*
Never admit that.
Holy cow! The curtains…
open up by wand!
THEY’RE MAGIC, LIKE IN THE HARRY POTTY BOOKS!
WANT! Especially if they come with the inmobniable snowthing!
**wonders if they work with Taco’s Wand of Fantasies**
My brain wants to read that as …HAIRY POTTY BOOKS…
…And just like that I’m back here in the gutter.
That means I win.
I wrote that based on a slip of the tongue my mom had leaving the midnight party thing for Deathly Hallows.
We might have stayed in line until 2 AM waiting for my copy.
Instead, we left at midnight, and I had my copy from the supermarket by 12:30.
If it helps, SJ, I’ve always called them the Hairy Potty books.
Potty always leads to the sewer.
*sprays air freshener*
Haven’t read the Potty books. It is on my list of things to do this summer since I have no classes til Fall semester (yay) and my hours at work have been reduced (boo, hiss).
My mom borrowed the audiobooks from the library and they were read by Stephen Fry. I could listen to him natter on for hours…in fact, I did. It took longer for him to read them aloud than it would take me to read them, but it made for a very pleasant background noise.
Excellent idea, SJ. And if he sounds anything like Alan Rickman . . . well . . . oh my.
[corey] Wonderful though Stephen Fry is, he did not record the Harry Potter audiobooks. That was Jim Dale. [/corey]
[rest of world corey] Not on the versions I have… [/rest of world corey]
Hey, don’t be too hard on us. We’re just Amurrikan!
You’re all just one murrikan? And, to think, all this time I thought Sparky was the one with the [psychiatricly contested] multiple personality disorder!
Yes siree, with our ‘shine stills an’ our down home country-fried ideals.
Sorry about that! I had no idea they did multiple versions of the audiobooks!
Camille, not sure why, but they do. [/librarian corey] Personally, I’d prefer Stephen Fry – nothing against Jim Dale.
Woohoo you’re back! Not thatbyou went anywhere, but for some horrible reason this site was bringing up a blank page for me all weekend when viewed through my phone. To make matters worse I’m between internet companies so I had no access from home either. Worst.weekend.ever.
I doubt you missed much… same ol’ repetitive stuff.
*okay, it was a fun weekend… don’t let it happen again! :)*
I doubt you missed much… same ol’ zomb
Gorilla suit without the mask.. hm, I’m sure I can get a replacement mask. Let’s see what I’ve got in my closet to replace it with….
Hulk…
Tweety Bird…
Armored Knight…
Ah here we go… Palin. I’m trick or treating tonight.. mwahahaha.
Next year, you should go in a miniskirt, a spaghetti-strap tank top, high heels, and a Nixon mask.
Talk about scary…
I didn’t know you were at my Halloween party last year!
Wow, that must have been embarrising – two guys wearing the same costume. That’s a Miss Manners no-no.
See the difference is… “I make this look good!”
It might be those Hawt Bewbs HHNF was always going on about.
Where’s she been, anyway? Did she miss the rent on the costume?
HHNF has seen MY BEWBS???
Hmm.. I did run over a squirrel the other day….no,no… it was too small to be HHNF. I’m pretty sure…..
*makes note to pass by scene of death again*
You flashed the squirrel after you ran over it? How many ‘ritas did you have, LL?
I solemnly swear, ‘ritas were not involved until after the accident.
The flashing however…. that can happen anytime.
Whoops, did you see that?
I’m having ‘deja vue’ with this post I’m replying on… I feel like I’ve said it before. I hope not on YSaC… that would be so cliche and repetitive of me.
Where does one get a Michael Palin mask?
iSack, don’t think that’s quite who she meant.
Whichever one is scarier.. that’s who I meant.
Personally, I say Sara(h?) Palin is much more frightening.
That’s one heck of a dust bunny on those blinds *gets out industrial sized feather duster*
But it’s the imbibendicular snowthing!
Oh dear! I don’t know if I have room enough to punch everyone tonight! We may have to do a relay punchity punch punch.
Punch me, and I’ll punch Astro.
Hmm, I was going to go for that progression, but that means Dan punches ME! I don’t think I like that. 8/ Anyway, Let’s just share this one. Punchity Punch Punch everyone!
G’Night, Podunk!
*punches at everyone around her*
Gah, my arms are too short! Everyone… “Simon says, take one step closer to me”
It’s all just pain and sufferring, except for the bits that aren’t.
Any impression that the latter is the condition mostly likely to occur is but imagination and the result of imprecise cogitation.
But, time and tide will easily demonstrate, even in the mayfly span of a human life of average consideration, what Entropy cares on the odds of making that ‘hard six’.
I agree with Capn’s fancy shmancy musing.
It is all in my head. But I blame the alcohol.
Cap’n, I think you could pass for YSaC’s own paranoid android with that.
Sparkies are usually in the Witless Protection Program.
Limelolly….I agree..it IS all in my head…But I applaud the alcohol.
Dave, your restful Sunday in the box with the ferret tribe must come to an end. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Rocking Horse People!