YSaC, Vol 715: René Descartes was a drunken fart.

2010 July 2

bike – $1


i think i have a bike

Was it not the great philosopher René Descartes who said, “I think I have a bike, therefore I have a bike?” Actually, he probably said it in French or Latin.

Still, this poster is clearly an advanced existential philosopher, to have raised such a deep and meaningful question. The possible existence of the bicycle is one issue raised here. Another is the idea of ownership itself. Can anyone really be said to “have” a bike? When you are not looking at the bike, is it even there? Could not the bike be said more accurately to “have” itself? Or should we rather approach the entire situation of the poster, the bicycle, and even Craigslist itself, from the point of view of Bishop George Berkely, and view them all merely as aspects of the perception of a divine entity, and not truly understandable in a purely materialistic sense at all?

Truly, a post worthy of much scrutiny and analysis, and fit subject for at least one PhD dissertation. Probably by someone named Bruce.

Thanks for the deep thoughts, Eric!

205 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 July 2
    Innana permalink

    I think I have $1. Maybe someday we’ll be sure.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 2
      LurkRealClose permalink

      I think if you have $1, I have a bike.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 July 2

        If you give a bike a dollar, it will want to buy a stick of gum.
        If you let a bike buy a stick of gum, it will get it all caught up in its chain.
        If it gets all caught up in its chain, you will have to sell the bike for one dollar.

        To whoever wrote If You Give a Moose a Muffin, I apologize.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 July 2

          One of my favorite book series for bedtime reading and the first gift I sent for the granddaughter.

          A door for you, Astro!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          I think it all started with “If You Give a Pig a Pancake”… That great work of literature, may have been before your time.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2

          Oh, I read them all in late kindergarten-second grade.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          [children’s lit corey]The first book was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”, followed by the Moose, and then the Pig, and then “If You Give a Cat a Cupcake”. Then there were some more Mouse books.[/corey]

          Yes, but the Moose one is the best!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 July 2
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          If you read them closely enough, you may notice that they’re all the same book!

          Oops. Spoiler alert…

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 July 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          No, the one with the moose is better. 🙂

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          Dangflabbit, I wanted to read those books, and now you’ve all gone and ruined them for me.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          Meej permalink

          Speaking from current experience…

          If you change a baby’s diaper, she will probably want to nurse.
          If you let the baby nurse, she will probably take a nap.
          When the baby takes a nap, she will probably wake up wanting more food.
          If you nurse the baby again, she will probably get cuddly.
          If the baby gets cuddly, she’ll probably completely relax.
          And if the baby gets very relaxed… you’ll probably have to change a baby’s diaper.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          If You Give a Mouse a Cookie was my FAVORITE book as a kid! =)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, no wonder I feel so lost, IYGaMaC was published in ’85, when I was a mere quarter-century old.

          Adores: 0
        • 2013 August 31
          One Moving Violation permalink

          If you give a Sparky a Computer…

          Adores: 3
  2. 2010 July 2
    LurkRealClose permalink

    Good morning, my YSaC friends. Coffee? One slice or two?

    *waves at Bridgete for later and hopes she did well on the bar practice exam*

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 2
      MandaB permalink

      Good morning! 2 slices for me please. I’ll eat one and apply the other in patch form to see if I can just absorb the coffee goodness!

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      Windrose permalink

      LRC, do you have any of that rum sauce to go on the slice of coffee? I need something really strong this morning.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        LurkRealClose permalink

        I’m afraid I don’t drink, but I have some chocolate. Will that help?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2

          chocolate always helps LRC

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          It keeps the Dementors away.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 July 2

          Unfortunately, it also brings my sister running.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          develish1 permalink

          you’re clearly not hiding it well enough Astrognash.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2

          It doesn’t matter where I hide it if she can smell it, and if it’s in the house, she can smell it. Whenever our mom comes home with groceries, if there’s chocolate, she instantly sits up and offers to help her carry them in. It’s like a sixth sense. But instead of a Spidey-Sense, it’s a Sugar-Sense.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          MandaB permalink

          Chocolate always helps! I just had a big piece of homemade chocolate cake with almond buttercream frosting. My day is better already!

          Anyone want some to go with their slice of coffee?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          develish1 permalink

          you even have to ask Manda? hell yes!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          kelli permalink

          Astro – I’m not recommending you do this, but there is a chocolate scented perfume that I used to buy that could be sprayed liberally around the house to confuse your sister.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 2
          develish1 permalink

          now that’s just evil Kelli, I like it!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2

          Laurelhach, adores for all your HP references!

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, WR, I have rhum, and a recipe for a suitable hard sauce, but have no half-n-half.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          You’re welcome, Christina, that’s what I’m here for.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Windrose permalink

          I suppose it’s not the same with powdered milk, Cap? Oh well, I survived the day, and it’s the thought that counts. 8)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Yeah, reconstituted PM does not seem to whip to peaks of any sort

          Adores: 0
        • 2013 August 31
          CapnMac permalink

          A Labour Day 2013 gift:
          Note, this is more technique than ingredients. Best with a hand rather than stand mixer; under-recommended for hand-whisking.

          1 cup half-n-half; or 1/2 + smidgen cup whipping cream
          Rum (or similar distilled spirits)
          Sugar (to taste)

          Using wire beaters, beat cream until it just barely forms soft peaks.
          Add rum, and sugar to taste. For a dark rhum, I use about a jigger–1.5 ounces–and ±1 tablespoon icing sugar (reduce to 1 tsp if granulated).
          change to whisks in mixer and beat to a medium-stiff peak.
          Note, this hard sauce ought still “pour” but be set enough to “stay” once spooned on.

          On substitutions. Dairy substitution is to one’s choice–it just must be a product which will whip. Canned & jarred toppings are usually too stiff to remix, and just “break” or denature. Bourbon will substitute for rum, if with about 20% more sugar. Honey can be used with white rhum. Vodhka may be used, just add dark Karo for the sugar.

          This will serve over a wealth of items, sweets more typically than savory. Plain pound cake, shortbread, pies, even simple sugar cookies. Also good for beverages like coffee.

          Je mange donc j’Am

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      Bridgete permalink

      Hi! *waves* I’m here! We turned in the scantrons, but we also had answer sheets to take home with us and self-grade, so I already know I did quite well. We weren’t expected to get what would be a passing score on the real bar exam, we were expected to get about 20 points below that…but I got what would be a passing score on the real exam, so I’m pleased. =) Now I just have to make sure I maintain that between now and the real exam.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 July 2
        Grampdaddy permalink

        YAY! Bridgete! Keep it up and you can represent me against all those who make disparaging comments about Grampdaddy.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          Windrose permalink

          Or when Grampmommy decides enough is enough! 8) (as if)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          Well, with all of you encouraging me through all this, I think I’ll have to return the favor by becoming the official YS@C lawyer.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 July 2
        LurkRealClose permalink

        WOOT WOOT!! Nicely done, Bridgete! I have no doubt you will do equally impressively on the actual bar exam and soon be our official lawyer.

        Adores: 0
  3. 2010 July 2
    Innana permalink

    I think I have donuts set out by the coffee machine. But then, it may be my pineal gland out of balance.

    Adores: 0
  4. 2010 July 2
    MandaB permalink

    I believe this posting can be summed up in a short public service announcement.

    “This is Craigslist. This is craigslist on drugs. Any questions?”

    Actually, I do have questions. Many, many questions. I’m afraid of the answers I might get though.

    On a side note, any time the drunken philosophers sketch can be referenced, it’s gonna be a great day. I think. $1.

    Adores: 6
  5. 2010 July 2
    MandaB permalink

    I remember when the phrase used to be “A penny for your thoughts.”

    “$1 for your thoughts” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

    Damn inflation.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 July 2
      CapnMac permalink

      [transaction corey] Well, about 15 years ago, the minimum “exchange of value” was increased from “$1 and such other consideration” to “$10 and such other consideration” due to the inflation of goods prices.

      So, the apocryphal “dollar a year man” becomes the much less eponymous “ten dollar year man” or “sawbuck’a year” or some similar construction.
      Then, given the vaguarities of employment law, it’s simpler to have “donation pay” set at federal minimum wage, which then handles FICA and all the rest. For “CEO” pay, you set the salary at whatever is the SSA maximum pay, and pile a performance bonus atop that. Which can be “sweetened up” by paying the bonus in ownership of no-load securities and the like.
      [/corey]

      Adores: 0
  6. 2010 July 2
    Windrose permalink

    I think I have a million dollars! *opens eyes, checks bank account* Dang. Gotta think harder!

    Adores: 16
    • 2010 July 2
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Windy … My sister always believed that as long as you have checks left …….. It didn’t really work for her, but maybe if you close your eyes, click your heels together and wish really hard ……

      I don’t know why I can finish sentenc …….

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2

        Augh Zomb…?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 July 2
          MandaB permalink

          No Astro, it’s only July. The Aug Zombies come next mon

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 July 2

          Uncle Zomb…, then?
          He wants YOU to join the Zombie Alliance!

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 July 2
    Camille permalink

    I think I have a bike. On the other hand, it might be a lion. I was out sick the day they taught us the difference.

    Adores: 20
    • 2010 July 2
      CapnMac permalink

      I have a skate key. What a dogfish was doing with one is a different question.

      Adores: 1
  8. 2010 July 2
    Windrose permalink

    Just in case no one is here over the weekend, a long weekend for some of us, I want to wish all us colonists a Happy Independence Day! *cue fireworks and Suza marches*

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 2
      LurkRealClose permalink

      Yes, and also a Happy Belated Canada Day to any Canadian YSaCers.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 July 2

        Since when is Canada a real place?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think they are America’s hat.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 July 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Astro – didn’t you pay attention in Geography. It’s one of the USA’s most norther states.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 July 2
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, and a “not quite a fortnight” early Bastille Day! too.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 July 2
      Innana permalink

      I think I went to school with Suza Marches.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 July 2
        CapnMac permalink

        I walked to breakfast (once), random Suppers, and to several football games, to Sousa marches. (Well, and the one time, in Austin, with a bit of Sauza Commemorativo sloshing about.)

        Ah, life in matching polyester, marching.

        Adores: 0
        • 2013 August 31
          CapnMac permalink

          Like this , only 30+ years’ & 30# ago, and in the 1400-1800 kids behind the ones with musical instruments.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      Laurelhach permalink

      [band corey] Sousa marches, actually [/corey]

      *lights firecrackers*

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 July 2
        Lola permalink

        Oh, so you’re the one who was setting them off on my street at 6 a.m. today!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          …the giant firework dragon wasn’t mine, I swear.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2

          That one may have been mine. I’m not sure.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Lola permalink

          In this city, everything, including sparklers,* is illegal. I live two blocks from the police station, but they never do anything, no matter what time the fireworks are being set off.

          *This doesn’t stop restaurants from sticking them in your birthday dessert and bringing them to you, lit.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2

          The suburb of Wilmington I’ve mentioned, Monkey Juction, has a neighborhood called Myrtle Cove. One Fourth, we went to visit my Aunt at her house in aforementioned neighborhood. Apparently, someone has a license to Pyrotechnics in the neighborhood over, because we were treated to a show that was better than the one at the State Fairgrounds.

          She also had a barbecue, and had her first pig pickin’. (She moved from Pennsylvania)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          whit nestor .tanks permalink

          I think I went to school with Myrtle Cove.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Yep, saw the f/b blurb from my PD reminding that there is no legal way to have fireworks in one’s vicinity within City limits.
          However, with only 60-65,000 to police, they will roll the FD whitehats, the utility workers and all the shifts of the PD around to search out the scofflaws.
          At least this year, there has not been 11 weeks of drought to worry about, too.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Lola permalink

          I specifically own sparklers to be in breach of that ordinance, because I think it’s stupid. I rarely do things just because I’m not supposed to, but sparklers?!? C’mon, Bloomberg; while I like that all workplaces are now nonsmoking and don’t really mind the calorie counts on chain restaurant menus, and I have actually seen people injured from fireworks mishaps, the criminalization of freaking sparklers is a little too nanny-state for me. The fact that the fireworks ordinances are rarely if ever enforced simply adds to the annoyance.
          [/rant]

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          I’ve got all of you beat. In ALL of Massachusetts, all personal fireworks, including sparklers, are illegal. Professional shows are fine (I think there’d be a riot if they tried to outlaw the big Boston show with the Pops concert and everything). Even though people can just drive up to NH to get the fireworks they want, there’s actually plenty of control from the police and such. I know there have been random border checks between NH and Mass., and I rarely hear personal fireworks around here. The few times I’ve heard them, they’ve stopped pretty quickly.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Got to hear fireworks tonight (Friday night)–but, that’s not unusual. We have an “interscholastic league” (spans Varsity HS & College players) baseball team here in town, all of their Friday night games end with a pro fireworks shoot.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      Bridgete permalink

      Yay! I should be here earlier in the day on Sunday, but then I’ll be heading down to the waterfront for Boston Pops and fireworks!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        CapnMac permalink

        If that was still on A&E, I’d promise to wave at you!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          I don’t know about the concert, but the fireworks are still broadcast live nationwide on one of the networks. You could wave at the fireworks, knowing I’m somewhere below. I don’t go near the Hatch Shell anyway, it’s too crowded. I sit in the grass on the Cambridge side of the Charles river (the concert is on the Boston side), there’s a sizable area where they broadcast the concert over loudspeakers. That’s good enough for me!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          I was channel surfing last year and could not find it.
          Used to be one of the better shows, the A&E “do” of “Pops Goes the Fourth”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          Yeah, I don’t think that’s happening anymore. The only thing you’ll be able to catch is the fireworks show on CBS, but that’s after the 1812 Overture and all the other good stuff.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 3

          I always find it funny that we play the 1812 Overture on the 4th, when it’s about Napoleon’s failed invasion of Russia.We’re so self-centered, thinking it’s about our war that occurred in 1812.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, some of that is due to how seldom the orchestra gets to actually follow Tchaikovsky’s score instructions to assemble a brass band, choir, cannon, and church bells.

          It’s a simple, elegant, recognizable bit of music, and not too long-hair for the “squares” to over-think. Neither is L.v.Beethoven’s Wellington’s Victory, but the musicians seem to snub that one.

          That, and I think you may be giving some people too much credit–far, far too many have no idea “The Battle for New Orleans” was part of “The War of 1812” (most of them not getting the question posed as joke, either), of happened in 1815 after the peace treaty had been signed. Still a fun Johnny Horton song that would suit the festivities.

          Adores: 1
  9. 2010 July 2
    sarajean80 permalink

    I think I’ll read YSaC.

    :reads post:

    I think Sparky suffers from some sort of head trauma that causes her/him to write whatever thought drifts through her/his head.

    I think I need more coffee.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 July 2
      Laurelhach permalink

      *hands SJ a hefty chunk of coffee*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        Yay, it’s extra chunky!

        Adores: 0
  10. 2010 July 2
    whit nestor .tanks permalink

    Did you find it outside of Chuck’s Bike-O-Rama?

    Adores: 1
  11. 2010 July 2
    sarajean80 permalink

    I keep hearing this in the voice of The Little Engine That Could.

    i think … i have … a bike,
    i think … i have … a bike,
    i think … i have … a bike,
    :woo-woo!:
    i think i have a bike,
    i think i have a bike,
    i think i have a bike,
    :woo-woo!:
    ithinkihaveabike,
    ithinkihaveabike,
    ithinkihaveabike!

    Now all the children will have presents for Christmas! Something tells me they might all be bikes, though. I think.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 July 2
      Angel permalink

      and in my head all I can hear is “I-i-i-i-i-mmanual Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable”…

      Adores: 5
      • 2013 August 31
        CapnMac permalink

        Je suis qu’un pet ivre, vélos donc!

        Cog bicycle sum flatus ergo

        Adores: 0
  12. 2010 July 2
    Grampdaddy permalink

    The Existentialist Lament:

    I think I have a bike.

    I think I will go for a ride.

    I think it has a flat tire.

    Damn!

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 July 2
      MandaB permalink

      I think I have an air pump. That will be $1 please!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 July 2
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        I also have a tire patch. One more $1 please. (You can just pay Manda, I’m sure I owe it to her for something.)

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Do you really have a tire patch, or do you just think you have a tire patch?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Hmmmmmmm I think that I thought I had one (What did those darn kids do with it? Of course they are just giving me that “did you forget to take your meds this morning look”). Too much thinking for today. I’ll make a note to think about it on Tuesday.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Oh no. I just realized that I’m starting to sound like Grampdaddy. (Grampdaddy, can I barrow your cane to shake at those annoying kids – Oh they belong to me.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Dang it, ACG, now I have to go look. I am more than reasonably certain I know the location of a tire patch container, and that same exists within my house.

          What I cannot aver or avow is what is inside that container.

          If it’s Schrödinger’s sock-eating-cat, I may be gone for a while, until I can hitch a lift on a Tardis.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          Hey Capn, can I come? :smiles innocently:

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Should you fall through the correct sorts of looking glass, you and the tutu are free to do as you wish–as long as I do not have to write any complicated letters to parents, teachers, parole officers, or such similar party or parties en loco parentitus.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          Oh, I promise to be a good girl.

          How do you feel about doomsday devices?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Grampdaddy permalink

          ACG, you are welcome to use my cane, but there is no need to “barrow” it. It is small and reasonably lightweight, with a pleasant heft and makes a gentle whistling sound when swung briskly through the air.

          Feel free to keep it for a few days – the young ‘uns are coming to visit and I will not need it – you can leave it on the front porch when you are through.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Can I plea a Taco Magic event has occurred? I just can’t type with mugs. I was never any good at speeeling and following directions (that might explain why I’ve always been in a high ranking position of authority. My dearly departed father-in-law said my management style was “Lead, Follow but just get the hell out of my way”. Being a very traditional middle manager, I’m sure he meant that as a complement.) Hmmmmmmmm…….

          Adds it to the list of things to think about on Tuesday

          Have a Great Forth of July!!!!

          Adores: 0
  13. 2010 July 2
    Lola permalink

    I think …
    I think I think. Not sure.

    I know I need coffee. *cuts giant wodge of caffeinated goodness*

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      kelli permalink

      I used to think that I thought but now I think that I think that I thought.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        LurkRealClose permalink

        But did you thonk it?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          kelli permalink

          Thonk sounds like the sound effect for hitting someone in the head with a frying pan.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          Thanks Kelli, that saves me the trouble of having to experiment on my sister for the sound.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 July 2
          develish1 permalink

          surely that’s more of a “thunk”?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          MandaB permalink

          As we learned in our grammar lesson earlier this week, the past tense of think would be thong.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          No, Manda, in almost every circumstance, butt floss is inverse evidence of thought.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 July 2
          MandaB permalink

          A million apologies for my confusion, Capn. Thong IS the inverted past tense of think.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2010 July 2
    Is.An.Avatar permalink

    Of course you are my bright little star,

    I’ve miles
    And miles
    Of files
    Pretty files of your forefather’s fruit

    and now to suit our great computer,

    You’re magnetic ink.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 July 2
      B....... permalink

      I’m more than that, I know I am, at least, I think I must be.

      Inner Man: There you go man, keep as cool as you can.
      Face piles
      And piles
      Of trials
      With smiles.
      It riles them to believe
      that you perceive
      the web they weave
      And keep on thinking free.

      Adores: 3
  15. 2010 July 2
    Laurelhach permalink

    In Soviet Russia, bike thinks is has you!

    I was horrified when I missed all of yesterday’s paradoxical antics. But I’m back now, so you folks can rest easy.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 2

      loving the avatar 🙂

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        Laurelhach permalink

        :blushes:

        Why, thank you!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2

        shame you missed yesterday, you could have had a nice chat with Nine. I’m sure he’d have loved to see a Dalek * chuckle*

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          I was really hoping I would get a chance to use this:

          ..___
          /…….>–◖ EX-TER-MI-NATE!
          =-=–=
          =–=-=
          |.|.|.|.|.>—C
          |●…●…●
          |●…●….●
          |●….●….●

          Adores: 13

        • 2010 July 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          You win the internets, Laurel.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Nine permalink

          What did I leave that really big gun?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2

          You win the uniberse[sic]. And, Elebenty Brazillian Doors. Also, much more, too many to list.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          I’m not sure you if you want me to win the uniberse, Astro. Hehehe. Hehehehehehehehehe.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Nine permalink

          I certainly don’t 🙁

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 2
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Brazillian doors? Have we already established if they are waxed doors, or just trimmed, or whatnot*?

          *Disclaimer: I don’t know that much about woman-scaping and related terminology…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Several have asked, but none have yet been answered

          Which could be the confluence of Cat Math Logic where the equation becomes

          What did curiosity do to

          Cheshire Cat

          .XOR.
          .AND.
          .OR.

          Schrödinger’s cat

          With lim(x) including the probability asymptote for seeing the latter’s dentition if exposed (which then has a {factorial[tuna > 0]+1} -1 roll for HP/EP required. Amended if the vacuum cleaner has been run in the calendar day.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2

          Wait! Is the answer… **does catulations**

          …Shaka Zulu in a Fez playing in the Ball Court at Chichen Itza?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2

          If he loses, will he be sacrificed to the gods?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Execution probably preferable to “brazillian trim” with only wood and obsidian tools . . .
          Or conversion into a louvered-panel rail-n-stile door . . .

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Basic logic, young Astro, basic logic (it’s no wonder most people don’t understand it. As my Calc 4 professor put it ,”It is intuitively obvious even the most casual observer.” Cover your ears Astro ,oh and your eyes. (Personally I think that was how he got all of those young female undergrads to come to his office. Rumor had it that if you did during that meeting, you never has to worry about those pesky calculus grades again.

          Adores: 0
  16. 2010 July 2

    Today’s post puts me in mind of Don Music’s great masterpiece, “Mary Had a Bicycle.”

    And of course it’s on YouTube.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 July 2

      Isaac, you never cease to amuse with your links, even if they’re not as massive as Taco’s.

      Boy that came out wrong.

      Also, I can no longer lurk over on your blog, as in the last several days, it has been blocked, and I don’t care to use a proxy.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Boy that came out wrong.

        So put it back in.

        Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 July 2
        Laurelhach permalink

        Yeah, Astro, that came out extremely wrong. Stop now.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Isaac knows that it quality not quantity ( I think …….)

        Adores: 0
  17. 2010 July 2
    MandaB permalink

    Woohoo! I’m in the box!

    Funny thing about that – this morning I received an email from my mother with the subject: I might ottermangle this!

    That’s right. Grampmommy is a *lurker*!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 July 2
      Laurelhach permalink

      Come out, come out wherever you are, Grampmommy! *uses binoculars*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        Maybe we should offer her some chocolate.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Yes, chocolate for EVERYONE!! (except Astro’s sister)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          MandaB permalink

          For enough special dark chocolate she might appear.

          *free chocolate and flashes of stupid for everyone!!!*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I have the best dark chocolate. My friend from Ireland sends it to me a couple times a year.

          http://www.bournville.in/

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          develish1 permalink

          mmm….Bournville…..

          erm, sorry about the drool. I’ll clean it up I swear.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          It’s quite all right. I understand.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      LurkRealClose permalink

      YSaC – fun for the whole fambly!

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      Windrose permalink

      Uhoh, Manda, why didn’t you tell me that before I made a comment about her? *hides in the office behind the life-size ostrimu cutout*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Ummmm, it’s OK, Windrose – remember, Manda’s mommy and I have been together for about 42 years (counting dating in high school) – If she has maintained her sanity and sense of humor (she only rolls her eyes some, and makes believe she doesn’t hear me) through that, you have nothing about which to be concerned.

        Adores: 1
  18. 2010 July 2
    Litarider permalink

    Ah, thinking you have a bicycle, the great American past time. That’s how Lance Armstrong started.

    Adores: 3
  19. 2010 July 2
    Gail permalink

    I think I have a truck full of bees. I wonder if we concentrate hard enough if we can trade modes of transportation.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 2
      Laurelhach permalink

      I’ll do the thinking for transporting the bees.
      *POP*

      What?! A vuvuzela?! Oh well, same thing really.

      Adores: 5
  20. 2010 July 2
    CapnMac permalink

    Ooh, ooh! this is in my skill set.
    “I think I have a bike, therefore I have a bike?” Actually, he probably said it in French or Latin.

    Cog ergo Bike sum hoc ipso cogitaeum

    En tant que snob français dégradé, je suis offensé à votre tentative de phrasebook de jabber à moi et de refuser de considérer votre question inepte au sujet des vélos sur rail.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      Laurelhach permalink

      Désolé , monsieur, je ne savais pas.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2

      Parlay voo English?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        Laurelhach permalink

        Parlez-vous Craigslist?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          Shouldn’t that be “Parley-vue Cragslizt”?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          Laurelhach permalink

          Yur Probublee rite.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Liszt? Since when does this crew waltz around anything?

          (Wait, could Morris’ first name be Craig?)

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      MandaB permalink

      SORRY, je suis Americaine. I’LL JUST SPEAK LOUDER AND SLOWER SO THAT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME!!!

      I. THINK. I. HAVE A. BIKE. *mimics pedalling motion* ONE DOLLAR?!?!

      *sigh* These types of people seemed to find me everywhere when I travelled.

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 July 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        I know, it’s so frustrating! Why can’t they just speak American with a funny accent, like in the movies?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          SJ — just step outside. We already do that ya’ll.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 2
      Bridgete permalink

      Regardez!

      http://fattirebiketours.com/paris

      Je vais visiter Paris après l’examen du barreau avec ma mère. Nous pourrons prendre un tour du vélo. Si nous prendons le tour, je peux dire, “Je pense que j’ai un vélo.”

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 2
        CapnMac permalink

        Dang it, those guys don’t have any beer!
        How would a person velocipede about the pheasants without some bierre to improve a body’s outrageous accent (the Guy d’Lombardd nametag probably over the hoi polloi’s tetes here as there).

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          The night tour has wine! I don’t like bière anyway.

          Adores: 0
  21. 2010 July 2
    Limelolly permalink

    Is this by the same sparky who had a tool for $1?

    Somebody needs to do some inventory.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      LurkRealClose permalink

      No, no, he was a tool. The dollar was just a bonus.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 July 2
      develish1 permalink

      oooh, I’d forgotten about the tool. I wonder…..

      Adores: 0
  22. 2010 July 2

    I think I have a bike, you can ride it if you like,
    It costs a dollar, maybe not, it might be a misjay.
    I’d give it to you if I could but it may not exist.

    Kudos and vintage cereal if you know what song I just destroyed.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 July 2
      abwh permalink

      The Floyd Family perhaps?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2

        Floyd of the Pink variety. Either I really ottomangled the parody or the song is simply more obscure that I thought. Oddly enough, I was kicking around the idea of a YSaC parody of “Bike” the other day and here the opportunity presented itself. I’m mad with the psychic powers!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          abwh permalink

          The parody was eloquently (and wittily) presented. I gave you a Door Of Perception for your effort.
          Or did I?

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 2
      abwh permalink

      It’s not “My White Bicycle” by Tomorrow, for certain.

      Adores: 0
  23. 2010 July 2

    oh I love the commentary by Dan on this one. Hilarius!

    Adores: 3
  24. 2010 July 2

    Ha! Great site!

    I think I have $1.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 July 2
      MandaB permalink

      Then I think I shall give you a bike.

      *think think think*

      Did you get it yet?

      Adores: 2
  25. 2010 July 2
    Limelolly permalink

    Descartes is my hero.

    I am a bike!

    Or at least worth $1.

    Adores: 3
  26. 2010 July 2
    develish1 permalink

    If you’ll excuse me everyone, it seems I have to go hang my head in shame and cook hubby a nice meal.

    The reason?

    He’s the one who remembered out Anniversary, and bought me a lovely bottle of wine, and I…well I forgot 😳

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 2
      Limelolly permalink

      Wear the red negligee… he’ll forgive you anything. 🙂

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 July 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        If you don’t wear it he’ll forgive you faster. 😉

        Adores: 9
      • 2010 July 2
        Lola permalink

        In the last year or so there was a scientific study in the US* wherein the men consistently found the woman in the picture they were shown more attractive when her clothing was red. They reported to the psychiatrists conducting the study that they were more inclined to spend money on her and … commit intimate acts.
        So LimeLolly is right – wear red, dev! If he doesn’t forgive you right away, you can probably distract him ’til he does. 8)

        *Conducted at the University of Rochester, for anyone interested in looking it up.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 2
          Limelolly permalink

          Red always works for me… that and a little red feather boa.

          That’s all the sweet-talkin’ Mr. Lolly needs!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          No wonder I get so many compliments when I wear red! And here I was thinking red just looks good on me. 😉

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 2
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Doesn’t work for me – Every time I put on the red negligee and the red feather boa, Grampmommy tells me I look ridiculous. Help me out Limelolly, what am I doing wrong?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 July 2
          Bridgete permalink

          Back to the brain bleach…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2
          Limelolly permalink

          Grampdaddy, you might be playing the wrong background music.

          A little Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’, a little bump n grind… and if Grampmommy isn’t rolling on the floor with laughter, she’s probably taking pictures for blackmail.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 July 4
        develish1 permalink

        Thanks everyone.

        Strangely I don’t own a red one, although I may now go buy myself one. The low cut black top I opted for worked a treat though as it happens. I was thoroughly forgiven 😉

        Adores: 0
  27. 2010 July 2
    Zatarah_D permalink

    Je pense que j’ai une bicyclette, donc j’ai une bicyclette. This truth is so firm and assured that no Craigslist skeptic is capable of dismantling it, for this is the first principle of philosophy. This principle is thus worthy for selling on Craigslist for no less than a dollar, for all else can be doubted if there is no thinking that I have a bike.

    Adores: 4
  28. 2010 July 2
    queensbee permalink

    my favorite joke: rene descartes goes into a bar. the barkeep says, “would you care for some wine?” (think accent here) and descartes says, I think not, and he disappears.
    i just like the snarkiness of that one.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 July 2

      I’m officially sharing that joke as often as I can. Loved it!

      PS — ate some chocolate and am in a much better mood. Not that *that* will make any sense if you don’t go look at the grumpiness I threw at yesterday’s post this morning.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 2
        Bridgete permalink

        I saw your grumpiness…I sometimes comment late so I like to see if anyone said anything in response. Glad you’re feeling better.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 2

          Thank you. 🙂

          Adores: 0
  29. 2010 July 2
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    I can’t believe Ralph Wiggum only wants $1 for his bike. Oh, wait, yes I can.

    Adores: 0
  30. 2010 July 2
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Fletcher, in “Situation Ethics” addressed this problem directly (the ‘Think/Bicycle” paradigm, not the red negligee/boa…). Anyway, Fletcher said this, ” If you think you have a bike, and others agree that you have a bike, then you may be able to sell it for $1.00. However, if you think you have a bike and think you don’t have a bike, then you may or may not have a bike AND you may or may not have $1.00.”

    The ethical dilemma then is this: Do you share your bike (and your thoughts) indiscriminately with strangers in a public forum, with or without charge, or do you put on the negligee and pedal your ass all over town?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 2
      Limelolly permalink

      I think the answer would be…

      Wear the purple one.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 2
      abwh permalink

      Pedaling your ass in a red negligee is far more acceptable than peddling your ass in a red negligee (and also less arresting!).

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 July 3
        CapnMac permalink

        Wait, wasn’t the donkey bike trailer ins a previous CL listing?

        Riding a bike down to the auction barn to sell your Jenny could be complicated.

        Adores: 1
  31. 2010 July 3
    Windrose permalink

    Well, Manda, here it comes: A very patriotic Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, University of Woolloomooloo!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 3
      MandaB permalink

      Thank you! Thank you very much!

      May you and yours (and everyone else) have a fun and safe weekend! Happy 4th!

      Adores: 0
  32. 2010 July 3
    abwh permalink

    Testing one two… Gravatar test

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 3
      abwh permalink

      Yay! I’m authenticated!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 4
        Steph permalink

        That’s a very smexy avatar. I’ll clean up the drool, really truly. Bought a new mop specifically for that purpose…

        Adores: 0
  33. 2010 July 3

    Rene Magritte says, “Ceci n’est pas une bicyclette.”

    Adores: 1
  34. 2010 July 3
    queensbee permalink

    please share the descartes joke! it is also an indicator of intelligence. as soon as you say ‘rene descartes’… if you get a deer in the headlite look, well, then you know…

    Adores: 1
  35. 2013 August 31

    I think I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates. You think you’ve got a brand new key.

    Adores: 4
  36. 2013 August 31

    Brain not engaged. Abort/Fail/Retry?

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 August 31
      One Moving Violation permalink

      i think i have a solution

      Here, taste this and tell me if it’s the fish sauce, Tobasco, and chocolate sauce solution or the saline, grape juice, and durian solution.

      No, the real solution is give me the dollar and I’ll tell you if you have a bike.

      Adores: 1
    • 2013 August 31
      nojazzhere permalink

      Didn’t Rene Magritte paint “This Is Not A Red Negligee”????…..well, he should have…..

      Adores: 3
  37. 2013 August 31
    Brer Fox permalink

    Can anyone really be said to “have” a bike? When you are not looking at the bike, is it even there?

    Yes. If the reality you create says it is there. This does not mean that reality can be made into anything. Reality does have checks and balances. Unfortunately, my reality checks bounce and the balances are doo.

    Adores: 2
  38. 2013 August 31
    Camille permalink

    I like bikes.

    Adores: 1
  39. 2013 September 1

    Rebecca, camile, KatyCat and chorus, thanks for making Friday so much fun. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Bicycle Philosophers!

    Adores: 0

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