will trade pics of GF for iPad – $499
I need an iPad for school, but I’m strapped for cash right now. I can however take photos of my SUPER hot GF doing pretty much anything you want to see. Nothing illegal of course haha.
haha.
haha, indeed.
This pretty much writes itself.
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As a teenage boy I just couldn’t help but put “Rebuilding the carburetor on a 1963 Opel Kadett.” I think Megan Fox proved in Transformers that girls who work on cars are sexy. Anyhow, to snark.
I know of no school in the country that would require its students to own an iPad, and, in fact, I imagine a good percentage of them would confiscate such a device.
No, some universities actually are using iBooks to distribute course material. And a university that took away a student’s legally acquired property would be courting theft charges. Adults generally have rights.
[academic corey] But if Sparky’s a high school student, it’s entirely possible that 1. he doesn’t actually need it for class, and 2. that it could be confiscated, depending on school policy. [/academic corey]
[squick corey]If Sparky IS in high school, then there are additional possible issues in relation to the age of the gf. Ugh.[/squick corey]
Yup, there are a number of universities who are actually providing students with, or requiring students to have, iPads or iPod Touches/iPhones for use in the classroom. There’s mixed reviews and results from both students and faculty at those institutions.
With a bit of co-linear angst about having entire lecture series as podcasts.
Locally, Podcasting lectures was a bit controversial among the teaching staff, and that was when it was only of that day’s, that class session’s, lecture. Now that some of the lectures have been ‘canned’ as an entire course, this tends to cause questions as to whether an instructor is actually needed.
Which, to my thinking, is the wrong question. The question ought to be, should Universities have “grinder” classes that can as easily be taught by podcast as by interaction between students and an instructor?
(Ok, and the topic is a bit on my mind, the great stampede of students is upon my town.)
Ah yes, Sunday Funday AND tax free weekend here in College Town, USA. And I have to go to Target at some point today. Can I borrow the pads and hemet after Isaac’s done with them?
Oh you live in a college town too? My Dad refused to go to Wal-Mart this weekend and he practically lives there. But he and Mom did go early on Sunday for groceries.
Go Bearkats!
As a teenaged girl I rebuilt the carburater and the head gaskets on my ’77 Monte Carlo. Trust me, there is nothing sexy about it. Unless your idea of sexy involves a lot of grease, sweat and swearing.
I can’t spell carburetor.
christina, there are guys who will in fact go for exactly that! (Grease, sweat, and swearing. Add beer and football to that trifecta, and you’ll have it made! If you want. If you’re available. If not, then nevamind.)
Aren’t these the same high brow fellows who consider giving a girl a “Dutch oven” foreplay?
*Blissfully unavailable.
They might be. Fortunately, I have only ever heard of that kind of “Dutch oven” and not experienced it in person.
Take comfort in your unavailability. For those of us who are available, men like that make us wish devoutly that we weren’t.
Oh, dear, the line may or may not have been crossed. Should I Google Dutch oven to be sure?
Different kind of line. More like a Beavis and Butthead line.
Google if you must, but i’ll save you the effort and say that it involves wind of a not rosey nature.
Windrose, you may have heard it referred to as “cover smuggling”
• Solving a nonlinear partial differential equation analytically.
~candorman uses the method of characteristics~
• Rebuilding the carburetor on a 1963 Opel Kadett.
~scrap the pos~
• Performing Liszt’s La Campanelle on a Hohner Clavinet.
~Not a fan of Opera or Oprah~
• Making a human pyramid with Helen Mirren, the Dalai Lama, Bob Dylan and Lawrence Lessig?
~Mirren – maybe…lama – that’s just wrong…dylan – okay, but lessig? Why…just, why?~
• Embroidering the genome of a Drosphilia while bungee jumping?
~If this was feasible, which it’s not, I’m game!~
Wonder what Sparky thinks a video of said SUPER hot gf is worth? That would be worth at least a scooter or moped, right?
Though I bet he’ll need a wheelchair once she discovers these pictures are not going in the family album. haha
I’m betting the pictures would be blurry anyway…
I heard she had a hot body and a butter face.
That’s terrible! Wouldn’t her hot body melt her butter face?
Butterface = not facially attractive, despite the rest of her.
E.g. “She’s got a nice figure, butter face (but her face) …”
Oh I know what it means. But in our house it can only be said with a bad Jersey/Oyster Bay accent: Bud-uh fayce!
B-b-b-butter face b-b-butter face
(mum mum mum mah)
B-b-b-butter face b-b-butter face
(mum mum mum mah)
I’ll leave the rest of the lyrics to Hammy
That’s extra funny to me because the first few times I saw Lady GaGa she was wearing a mask/head dress type thing that completely covered her face and I wondered if she was hiding a butter face.
Could we speculate that the GF is “SUPER hot” under the collar for being proposed as pin-up fodder in trade for consumer electronics?
Perhaps the GF has discovered that Sparky has, er, “tested the market” for such images as trade items. The distaff rightfully being irate at such non-consensual use of images.
If he’s so desperate to get an iPad without working for it, he should sell pictures of himself.
I’d like to see pics of this soi-disant “hot” girlfriend throwing this asshat out when she learns what he’s doing. I might even pay for those! Of course, I’d give the money to her, so Sparky would still be SOL here.
Maybe GF is not what we think it is. Giraffe Fondler? Grits Freezer? Golden Firetruck?
Galloping Fround. If you get the Apone version, that’s a top-of-the-line 4G version.
Ganglion Fondue? Garbanzo Frappe? Gonad Flophouse? Gorgonzola Frittata? My goodness, the possibilities are overwhelming.
Hmm, Gorgonzola frittata would be good. Get Taco to make up some hot pepper and artichoke relish, and it would be even better.
Mind you, my fave fritatta presentation is a wedge with a nice salsa bolognaise. Would still be good, the gorgonzola would bring out the meat in the bolognaise.
Would hate a nice chianti reserva; but for brunch, a nice asti with a splash of tangelo juice.
Hehe. I recently jumped on Omegle, which is touted as an anonymous chat engine (I just wanted to see what the fuss was about) . After the third “heeeeyyy. asl?” I started answering along those lines.
“Aslan Stalks Lemurs?”
“Atrocious Senile Lech?”
“Arachnid Sells Labradors?”
And when I got bored with that, I just told them I don’t have asl, because I practice safe sex.
I got on Omegle in a foul mood a few times just to make fun of those people. I would claim to be a 300-year-old bristlecone pine, or a two-year-old border collie, or whatever.
Or I would tell them the truth, which is that I exist only as a stream of text in the internet.
Zactly. Someone said, “Well, I want to know who I’m talking to.” “Uhhh, I could SAY I’m anyone…how would you know?” And then people freak the F out, like I”M the weirdo!
“Oh, okay then. I’m a 16 year old waiting for my sexual awakening. Just like we all are on the internet…right?”
Wow, people still ask asl? That’s what put me off chatting back in the early days of IRC.
Of course, now that I have been educated by YSac, I know that asl means “what is the legal age of sexual consent in Location?” To which the answer is clearly spinach toothpaste.
I’ve never even heard of this until now, but I’m dying to go on and say my age and what I am is “Spinach Toothpaste.”
It means: How old are you? Are you male or female? Where are you located? While I suppose these basic questions are a good starting point for a conversation with a stranger, it helps if you ask additional questions. Usually the asker simply focused on whether the askee was their prefered gender and started in on the pervations. Before the days of Chris Hanson, I would tell people I was a 12 year old girl and wait to see if they were going to be inappropriate. Yes, they usually were 🙁
As someone studying to be an interpreter of American Sign Language, I always want to answer that with “mediocre, but I’m learning”. Maybe some day I will, just to watch the confusion happen.
In the IRC days, the “brush off” was to use the nearest pet, so the answer might be
“7; neutered; under the dining room table”
Wish I’d been smart enough to think of “spinach toothpaste.”
Isn’t GF just short for one of those document formats for images, like JPG?
I think it’s a GIF, but don’t quote me on that.
Well, GIF images can be animated.
eek, so, Sparky has some sort of stream of images he has converted to single images?
Fork over an iPad and only get stills from a spinning Acme Widgets inc. company logo–whadda scam!
Or maybe GF really is short for girlfriend, but the girlfriend in question is actually a hagfish, or something else slimy and primordial-looking.
Or, seeing as she’s SUPER hot, she could also be a tiki torch.
Or a volcano.
Or the goddess of fire, perhaps.
I hope that Sparky isn’t dating any of the cooking elements on my stove.
Are your cooking elements shaped like the Virgin Mary and do they show you the strength of your wifi signal? ‘Cause I would totally date that.
Or he’s one of those special people who still has imaginary friends and he’s actually “dating” a weavable. They met online a few days ago and he knew it was just meant to be. He knows she won’t mind having her picture taken for sale because she’s so quiet and reserved.
I do think it is wonderfully appropriate that the ad I have showing is the one for the company making microloans. How much could Sparky get for pics of the GF?
Will Trade IPAD for Girlfriend
I need a girlfriend for school, but am short of class. I can, however, trade an IPad for your girlfriend. Ipad is like new, hardly used, only been finger-touched. Has always had “protection” on when touched. I can send sample pictures of Ipad – nothing illegal, haha.
To the box, my Swedish friend
Does no one ask what condition the girlfriend is in?
Barely used and finger-touched is not the most flattering description.
But she probably has a minty-shell.
Something we haven’t addressed: where does the $499 come into this? Sparky is a bit vague about that.
Could it be that Sparky has learned (if poorly) to specify a specific fit & finish of the Apple product.
Possibly having traded photos of the laundry room for an EyEpad; the dog licking himself for an IPahd ,and so on?
I guess it costs $499 just to trade with Sparky?
I would like to see pictures of Sparky’s girlfriend surgically removing his head from his ass. I’m not sure it is possible, but I’d love for her to try.
P.S. It shouldn’t surprise me with the obvious lack of brains possessed by Sparky here, but is he completely and utterly unaware of the bajillions of places on the interwebs where one might freely view pictures of hot girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. doing all sorts of things in various states of undress, legal and otherwise?
My suspicion from the beginning was that Sparky was planning to receive the image request, go over to Google Image Search, and produce a picture of his “GF” from one of the websites you allude to.
Which is basically like, “Hey, free iPad, and I get to surf pr0n, too!”
Upon receiving of requested photos: “Wait, I recognize that hot girlfriend! I’m dating Christina Hendricks, too!!!”
I just remembered an arguement I witnessed in junior high between two of my friends who were looking at pictures of Jon BonJovi in some magazine. One friend said to the other, “No way, this picture is my boyfriend, you can have him in this picture.”
I have a feeling this same conversation takes place in basements today, by twenty-something guys and Jon BonJovi is replaced by Natalie Portman/Megan Fox/Angelina Jolie/etc.
Don’t be fooled. The ad is just to lure people in for a new Dateline special: To Catch an iPerv.
IPed???
Hi, I’m Steve Jobs, why don’t you have a seat over there?
iPad? I thought you said eye patch! Oh well, hang on to it anyway, Sparky, you’re gonna need it after your GF finds out about this.
Aye, Sparky, I have an iPad right har o’er my left eye, I’ll trade for pictures o’ your cabin girl, shiver me timbers!
1. 102 votes but only 26 comments? I suspect LURKERS! *waves*
2. I voted for the musical option because I didn’t know what a clavinet was. Then I looked it up. Pretty cool! I wanted to post the link but WordPress doesn’t want me to. The page has a neat price range for clavinets if the item is like new, like, it’s okay for its age, and like hell. 8)
3. How cool that Isaac is in the Don’t Suck Box!
4. By some twist of fate, the movie I am going to see with my movie club today is “An Education” from 2009.
Oh, I just don’t have anything clever to say today. My snark is taking a Sabbath day.
Only 44 comments (and 158 votes) as of 1334 CDT.
Start of the academic year must be taking it out on people.
It’s the “back to school” Sales Tax Holiday this weekend in Texas.
I’m going to take this opportunity to say that in about two weeks, I will begin a long journey from the east coast to the west coast. I will try to read daily on my iPhone but I get carsick if I read in a moving vehicle so I’ll have to squeeze it in at rest stops, lunches, and evenings in the hotel. Also because I’ll be on the iPhone, it will be hard to understand the comments because of the nesting fiasco. This all means I won’t comment at all for about a week. I know, for a new person around here, I’m dumping a lot at your feet. Please pardon that. I hope that when I take up residence on the west coast and read comments 3 hours after you’ve made them that all the good things to say won’t be gone.
We’ll miss you when you go! As for missing the interesting things to say–we’re always interesting, right? I like to think so, at least.
I’ll keep a light on for you, wave when you get here!
We welcome you to the West Coast. Just remember, the ocean is on the left
Litarider! We’re going to be neighbors! *does the dance of joy* You and I can riff until midnight, if the topic warrents. Name a state? I am in San Diego County area. I would bake a cake if it drops below 95 degrees. 8)
No need to apologize for anything!
You will be missed, both here at YSaC, and by the East Coast in general.
Be sure to wave as you go through Indiana – Manda B and I will both wave back. You’ll recognize us, we’ll be the ones in the middle of all the corn and soybeans, but we also will be the only ones who don’t have the Twinkies fried in lard as a snack-on-a-stick.
Grampdaddy, when I read those words of yours while scrolling down the page, this thought popped into my mind:
“Children of the Corn”
Ah, but “Children of the Corn” usually applies to the Nebraska sports fans when they visit other venues.
THERE’S MORE THAN CORN IN INDIANA!!! CAW!! CAW!! (Grampdaddy, I don’t know if you live in the right part of Indiana to know what annoying commercial this came from.)
Ooh! My first punch of this quarter! Sock it to me!
Isaac, in the fear that I might not get back timely from the movie and dinner that is planned to day, I am going to do my official YSaC business now. Punchity Punch Punch!
You better be back in plenty of time for the daily recap! That’s my favourite part of the weekend!
Oh, this reminds me. We’re in the third quarter now. Do you have the results for the second quarter to post in the Don’t Suck-Off 2010 thread?
Or are you still tabulating* the results?
*The only purpose that sentence serves is as an excuse to use the word “tabulating”.
Astro, you mean the total totals? For like everyone? Cause I did first place through fourth. Sigh. I just can’t get the file to format correctly in the forum. Maybe I’ll start a Google group for YSac, and put files there. Let me think about it.
The clavinet is the opening lick on Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition,” if that helps.
Translation: Whatever it is, it’s legal somewhere, so anything goes!
Actually, it’s that “I’m totally anonymous on the interwebs, so nothing is really illegal”–this despite having given out explicit contact information, and suggesting, before the fact, a willingness to suborn or abet illegality.
Skip out on Sparky my darlin’
Need an iPad for school,
What shall I do,
Need an iPad for school,
What shall I do,
Need an iPad for school,
What shall I do,
Pics of my girl for an iPad.
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pics of my girl for an iPad.
Naked as a Jay Bird,
Ooo, la, la,
Naked as a Jay Bird,
Ooo, la, la,
Naked as a Jay Bird,
Ooo, la, la,
Pics of my girl for an iPad.
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pics of my girl for an iPad.
One of her ass,
Eight by ten,
One of her ass,
Eight by ten,
One of her ass,
Eight by ten,
Pics of my girl for an iPad.
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pic, pics, pics of my girl,
Pics of my girl for an iPad.
Trade pics of GF for iPad?
The irony is, there’s an app for that!
Here’s the Sunday Story:
Sunday Recap! 08/22/10
Advert offered to trade photos of GF for iPad. Dan threw out a voting option, and at the time of this report, Human Pyramid was tied with Embroidering genomes. 343 people had voted, but only 78 responses were showing. Hmmm.
Astrognash was forced by his sex and age to vote for the rebuilt carburetor, and didn’t think any high school would allow iPads in classrooms. Charlene, Lola, and drmk, may bees be upon her, leveled the thought up to University, and confirmed the use of hand-held devices. CapnMac was dreading the Running of the Freshmen in his town, Christina needed armor to make it to Target during the tax free season.
Christina also mentioned having rebuilt a carburetor in her past, which brought Lola to lament the sort of guy who would find that sexy. Dutch ovens were examined, and hastily set outdoors. Ew. Christina and Lou Stool helped Windrose sort them out.
LimeLolly contemplated what video of the GF would be worth. HamCan, fresh from his tour of Location, bet the photos would be blurry. LimeLolly bet the GF had a butter face. Lola and Christina rolled in the butter, and got Lou Stool humming.
CapnMac wondered if GF was consenting in the proposed transactions. Charlene thought Sparky should sell self-portraits. Lola wanted to pay to see the GF throw Sparky out. Smedley wondered if GF really meant girlfriend, and started a long thread of alphabet guesses involving LimeLolly, Grampdaddy, Meredith, Christina, Lola, Isaac, KatyCat, Omegle, and Spinach Toothpaste. Capn Mac had a recipe to share and a dog to brush. Isaac, Laurelhach, and Capn ended the thread quite animatedly.
Laurelhach, Camille, and Isaac discussed how hot a GF had to be and Christina propositioned Isaac’s stove. KatyCat theorized that Sparky’s GF was imaginary or a Weavable. Grampdaddy had ads from microfinanciers , and thought Sparky could look there for funds. TamaleIllusion needed a GF and had an iPad to trade for one! Lou Stool voted TI into the box, but LimeLolly protested the GF was not like new.
Isaac pondered the monetary quote at the title of the ad, which is never clarified in the body of the ad. Capn thought Sparky had a specific iPad in mind, and Litarider felt it would cost $499 just to trade with Sparky. MandaB guessed the GF was a surgeon, and didn’t think the market would be strong when the Internet is for Pron. Isaac knew the exact details of how to go about defrauding someone with free pron photos. Hmmmm. Meredith knew there would be trouble when the purchaser was dating the same pron star as Sparky.
Christina went to High School again, and likened the girls she went to school with to men living in their parents’ basements. MandaB and Meredith wrote an episode of Chris Hansen’s next series, Christina and HamCan got an early start on Talk Like A Pirate Day, and Windrose had a list of issues. Kae and Capn helped her resolve those, but Litarider bid us a fond farewell until she lands in her new West Coast habitat. East Coast YSaCers said they would miss her, West Coast YSaCers prepared to welcome her. Astrognash had a Children of the Corn moment, shared with Capn. Isaac had his first punch of the quarter, and Windrose punched him early due to prior commitments. Lou Stool warned her to be back for the wrap-up, and Astro wanted statistics. He was, apparently, tabulating. Dan clarified the clavinet. Addicted Reader announced that Anything Goes, Capn chose to remain anonymous, and HamCan broke in to song. Bianchi Sound peeked in with an app for trading pics of GFs.
That’s all for now! Back to our regular snark. G’Night, Monte Carlo!
YAY!!
Wow, what an incredible business idea! You give me a handful of pics of a hot, naked chick and I give you my 600$ ipad, because hey, where else would I get better value for money in terms of naked-chick-pics than with this offer. I mean, it’s not like I could use my ipad and browse something called “the internet” for that job, for free.
Let’s explore the inner workings of this post by going back to the future, Michael J. Fox style, into his thought process 5 minutes proceeding this “clever” post:
“Damn…I’m broke, again. (mind switches to pornographic images) Hmmm, I have a bangin gf (mind switches to pornographic images)…maybe if I put two and (mind switches to pornographic images) two together, I’ll get 6. Wait…3 (mind switches to pornographic images). Hang on, am I doing 2 + 2 or 2 x 2..? (mind switches to pornographic images) Alright I know how to do this. (mind switches to pornographic images) Oh well, time to make this post!”
Ironically, I believe we have just stumbled upon the cause of every dumbfounding post on craigslist – males who watch too much porno.
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