YSaC, Vol. 793: Can the tables be tesselated?
2010 September 18
Rectangular Tables
Two rectangular tables.
I’ve used them for plants.
This must have something to do with the cosecant. I never could figure out the cosecant.
Hexagonal Glass Table
Six sided glass coffee table. About 3.5 feet across each way, about 2 feet high. Wood is scratched but glass is in great shape.
Let’s see … 3.5 feet * six sides * 2 feet high = *smacks catulator* Damn it, I’m getting “Battle of Hastings” again.
Thanks, April and Tiffany!
I bet if you put the two rectangular tables together with the hexagonal one, you get a dodecahedron….. or maybe a sammich.
Or a space ship that takes you to the center of the galaxy where your dad tells you the secrets of the universe.
Oooo, I want to know the secrets f the universe!*
*Not really, I just want to know the winning lotto numbers
I can tell you the ones from last Wednesday with a quick Google search.
Cool, then you can sell them on Craigslist…
Just the two triangle tables together will produce a rectangular one. Albeit a rectangle that’s missing a chunk since the two triangles are different sizes.
Someone needs to hire Telly Monster as a proofreader before posting to Craigslist.
Good idea, since Telly is a member of Triangle Lovers Club.
I like love triangles too…
What?
Unless they’re trimmed, in which case they can be any shape. Or, they could be harvested, and then they’d be a bike path.
Oops, my mistake – the rectangular tables are actually the white things behind the wood and metal things in the front (whatever those are). They must have been hiding because they’re shy about being naked in a picture – without their plants on.
Is it wrong that I love the rectangular tables and the open staircase behind them? I’m sure it’s probably just a finished basement but it almost looks like a modern minimalist home design.
Send ’em $1,000 a month and they’ll send you steaks, or stakes, or tomatoes (Beefsteak). It’s the minimal they could do.
I could use the stakes to skewer the tomatoes and some ‘fu cubes from my Tofu of the Month membership.
The lack of safety considerations on that staircase is precisely why I thought the tables were only projecting three of their four sides into our space-time plane.
[stair corey] Minimalist design can be very elegant; it speaks to the Modernism that I (sort of) grew up with.
It is not very accomodating, though, of modern über-ninny-nanny building regulations (the sparky-clowns having ruined it for the rest of us).
All those stairs need to be is about half again wider, and pitched a quarter less steeply, and they’d be ah, “safe as houses.”
As shown, though, those stairs need rails and bannisters. Sparky-parents having ruined simple things like stair rails and bannisters, you have to pace them so you cannot pass a 4″ sphere through them (excepting places where it is a 6″ sphere; farqing sparqs have made this a 4-hour CEU class).
Sorry for the rant, woke up with a bushel of neck and shoulder pains and random semi-arthritic joints, and analgesia is being very slow to kick in.
That, and stairs used to be one of the things I really “did” quite well, in the day.
[/corey]
I totally agree, and truth be told, as much as I love the clean look of an open staircase, I’m one of the klutziest people on earth. Heck, my one story house is about a modern minimalist as it gets and I still find a way to bang my shins on the few coffee tables I have.
Oh my! What kind of plants did that to your rectangular tables?!? They’re all… triangular now!
Obviously the carnivorous Venus Tabletrap.
This is obviously the work of Miter Sawgrass.
Mornin’ Grampdaddy! You are bright-eyed and bushy-eared today.
We finally have an actual octagonal table submitted in a CL ad, and still Sparky can’t count. *sigh*
Good Morning Archie, Nonsense, NMN, and Astro! I have to admit that I was lurking and refreshing this morning while checking out yesterday’s comments.
I think the people who post these ads sometimes know (in this case) they aren’t rectangular, but don’t know how to say “triangular,” and think no one will notice.
That or “rectangular” has more letters and Sparky wanted to impress us with his knowledge of big words.
Or, people listing furniture on CL really are that baked, and all of the time.
Scratched wood? No thanks, this early in the morning!
Sparky is making a Perfect Glass of himself.
Maybe not wood, but perhaps a little aeration around the root ball.
Aw, crap, there goes the line….
Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.
Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.Perfect Glass is the name of my Philip Glass tribute band.
By saying Philip Glass, I obviously meant Steve Reich.
I was hoping someone would get the joke. The last comment on the red table post is a bad attempt at a corey that the Llama-nun dismisses in kind. Anywho…
Fillup Gas is me Wolfgang Voigt tribute band.
I meant to say Roofer once. Not sure what happened.
Of course the wood is scratched, drmk smacked her catulator.
That’s not nice, you have to scratch the catulator under the chin, and provide comfy places that attract loose fur. And have staircases where you can be tripped onto pan-dimensional tables . . .
Listen, Sparky, you’re fooling no one when you try to use triangles for rectangles, so I’m sure they were also on to you when you tried to use tables for plants. They don’t look anything like plants. They’re not even green.
Sparky hasn’t watered them regularly, that’s why they aren’t green. Or maybe they’re drying for harvest with one of those farm machine things – Yay, a bike path through the tables!
FARM THING!
That is all.
Shrinkage: A common problem resulting from improper maintenance and exposure to the elements; known to affect a broad spectrum including but not limited to tables, jeans, men and the economy.
So we have TARP for the economy shrinkage – do we have a TENT program for the men?
I keep picturing a program like they hand out when you go to a play…(In Grampdaddy’s case a funeral)
I am not typing one out!
Just the cast and crew part would have sent the line to Amsterdam.
I’ve been to Amsterdam, the only lines welcome there are on the tables.*
*may not be true, AMS may have some interesting quirks (like penis shaped tchochkis in EVERY gift shop), but the 420 friendly reputation is slightly overblown.
According to my passport I’ve been there a few times…
I think someone put those stamps in there when I wasn’t looking.
Good way to find out if it was you: Look in your closet, do you have any wooden shoes? Now look in the cupboard, do you have any penis shaped coffee mugs or salt and pepper shakers? If you do, it means that the person who stole your passport covered their tracks very well.
*Looking around*
Hmmm, all I found was one penis shaped wooden shoe…
Covered in PAM?
I’m not sure what PAM does with her spare time…
I keep picturing a program like they hand out when you go to a play…(In Grampdaddy’s case a funeral)
Hammy, do you mean to imply that I am one of the Living Dead? That would, of course, make me a zom
Partly
I don’t think I want any more transdimensional furniture. That last table I bought keeps phasing into a pile of rutabagas.
Huh. Mine keeps turning into buttered toast.
I think those might be French Prudential toast.
Do the plants on them always land butter-side down?
*Don’t tell Hammy, he’ll want to be on the butter side…”
I have standards you know, I won’t just run off with the first PAM, Margarine stick or hairy-butter that comes along…
Hur hur, you said hairy-butter.
I don’t understand what the problem is? Two triangles make a square… stretch the truth and it’s a rectangle.
And take an octogon, subtract the two sides needed to make a back scratcher and it’s a hexagon. Voila!
*I really could use a back scratcher.. itchy, itchy*
Do what the bears do and rub your back against a tree 😉
I told you not to borrow LRC’s poncho.
Ah, that’s where it’s got to. I will need that back, it’s Saturday, you know. Big poncho plans for the evening.
Poncho plan
By: The Itchy people
If you wear the poncho, it gives you a funky walk
It’s colors red and yellow, it’s made of dental floss
Funky with its tail, it’s an odd thing
Get caught misbehavin’, bugs will dig in with their fangs
You can best believe that, it’s a poncho, man
Likely full of larvae, it dresses a moose grand
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Poncho, poncho plans (poncho plan)
I’ve got to have, a poncho plan
Poncho, poncho plan
It’s got lice in the poncho! Ouch!….
Wow! I have a theme song! I’m touched. No, really, stop touching me there.
Boy am I glad the first poster told me what he uses those things for. Otherwise I would not have had any idea what to do with two tables.
I really do enjoy the pictures that posters include with their ads. I like to think it gives me a glimpse into their ways of life; Glimpses that often allow me to create an entire lifestyle in my head.
I blame Catalog Living for that. (http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/catalogliving?ref=ts)
The first picture tells me that Sparky likes to live dangerously. He is a rebel. He refuses to have normal-shaped tables, he feels no need to rely on a railing for his stairs. He is living life in the edge. However, he is not so much of a rebel that conformity has lost its allure. He attempts to fit in by calling his tables rectangular.
It is his cry for help.
I think I figured out the problem. Sparky never had one of those shape sorter toys as a child.
I’m going to have to table my snark until later, we’re off to go garage sale-ing, looking for a futon. CL has been no help at all. Today I will actually be visiting the homes of people who will be posting their left-overs tomorrow on the List.
Stay away from “vintage” t-shirts.
Will you pick me up something providential while you are out? I will even settle for something rectangular.
*Hands Windrose a couple of spare hazmat jumpers*
Good luck!
I use those to skip over righteous indignation…
Well, came home with 10 new DVDs, a night gown, and miniature pen and pencil set, plus a beautiful pair of knot-work earrings in sterling silver. No Futon. Saw one futon frame, bend to heck, but otherwise no luck.
The two “rectangle” tables are obviously part of circ de soleil and are attempting the never before achieved triple tri-rectangle of doom.*
*The third tri-rectangle is at the top of the stairs waiting to leap.
Finally!!
The last two pieces I needed for my 1950’s furniture reenactment of Star Wars!
“Luke, I am a triangle”
I was picturing Imperial battle tables…
RU6+2 works for the second ad.
My theory on table #2:
Sparky’s a closet fan of YSaC and he’s learned that many sided tables (too many to list) are not.an.octagon. Someone probably used the word “hexagon” in the comment and Sparky, who had just enough intellegence to respect the super brain capacity of commenters here, carefully copied the word for future use.
Or he saw it in Reader’s Digest word power.
[sparky corey] I’d be willing to wager than the average Sparkey has never looked at another CL ad before posting their own.
And, if so, it was by accident.
I’d give even odds they never even read their own, even while writing them.
[/corey]
I move that Tessellated Tables be the band name of the day.
IKEA is now tesselating all of their furniture so as to save on shipping costs, and they’re passing the savings along to YOU!*
*However, the assembly instructions will continue to be printed in the universal language of Catmath.
I absolutely love that drmk linked to the YSaCtionary 😀
Also, OT: This is normally the kind of random that I’d post on facebook, but my parents and in-laws are on Facebook. Anyways, I think maybe the bell pepper that I bought earlier this week was genetically engineered with testosterone. It grew a beard and a penis while sitting in my fruit/vegetable bowl :-p
That would be the infamous, Peter peckers pickled pipe pepper.
Okay, penis-like protrubance on a pepper I understand, but a beard? I need to see a picture of this.
Bearded pepper pecker pron?
Takes all kinds…
Well, MrEB made me throw it away, because the beard was moldy stuff growing around the stem. The weirdest part was, the penile-protuberance was red, and the rest of the pepper was green!
So it was a puppy pepper?
Am I the only one distracted by the littering of the floor and couch in the second picture?
Nope. I get so distraught when I see things for sale with trash or other assorted non-essential items in the picture. Like the poster is so lazy he couldn’t even be bothered to make the item presentable.
My other pet peeve (of the gazillion I have): People who take pictures of themselves in the mirror and half of the shot is the brilliant light from the flash.
No, bugs me too. It would have taken them maybe a minute to pick those things up and get them out of the shot.
It annoyed me as well. Especially since that looks like a charger for a Macbook in the front. I can’t imagine a Mac user having such taste in furniture.*
*Mac users live in uber hip loft apartments furnished in all white and silver as to contrast with their black turtle neck/jeans uniform, right? 🙂
Y’all snark among yourselves now, have to leave early for the football game.
[Matt]Really people, this isn’t that difficult. Someone is obviously playing a cruel trick on these two Sparkies! They stole the 2 extra sides from the rectangle tables and added them to the hexagon table just to make these CL posters look bad. It is obviously a cruel hoax, and here you sit, mocking them. You should be ashamed of yourselves![/Matt]
Watch it, kid – remember who did your geometry homework with you – the only aspect of math beyond multiplication I understood!
And yet, in spite of all of that help, I can still identify a triangle and an octagon. It’s a miracle!
This right here might just be the best example of the meaning of snark ever.
Hammy, how is it that all the ladies want to rub your puppy’s belly? My puppy is still young enough to want its’ belly rubbed, but no offers – any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
I think it has to do with their “breed standard”
Low?
Aw, cute widdle puppy wuppy! Koochie koochie koo!
My life may be complete – at least for now. THANK YOU, DC!
No one wants to rub the puppy’s belly when they know that your kids are around.
Okay, I saw the picture and thought, “OMG cute puppeh!!!”
Then I read the comment.
Is.a.trap.
I’m just writing this so that I get props in Windrose’s daily recap.
Similarly, I’m just writing this so that I get props in Windrose’s daily recap.
Im just propping this so that I get caps in roses daily reWind.
Popping caps in Windrose?
She’s going to punch you for that!
Propping Windy proppy wind-prop!
Yawn….second post of the day….I had fun today….anyone else on the east coast?
**raises hand**
A bunch of us are. I’m in Boston. We have some other New Englanders, too. And then there are some in NY (I can’t remember if they’re only around the city or if there are some upstate too), a few in Maryland, a couple in North Carolina…those are the areas I know have been mentioned.
None of the Upstaters live in NY anymore, if I remember correctly.
Does Florida count? And don’t call me chad!
Panhandler!
Psssst, I need my windshield cleaned.
For a nickle and a dime
I’ll clean it any time……..
Man you gotta raise your rates. Dimes are worth 420 now.
Man, just squeaked over 100 today. I guess Taco was right, only the dirty posts bring out the weekenders. And no one new in the box either. I guess everyone is too busy wearing their snuggies and being prude to comment. :p
I think the evil government is stealing our posts. Haven’t you ever not read a post that you know someone wrote and didn’t get an error or go to moderation after they posted it?
*adjusts tinfoil beanie and pulls Snuggie tighter*
Oh Look. At the Box. IT appears. To have been. Updated by. Magic! And there are. Four people. In the Box. Of Don’t Sucking. *innocent whistle*
Yay! And one of them is me! I think this is my very first trip to the box! I’ve had some honorable mentions, but to actually be in the box. It’s such…such…..an emotional rollercoaster of emotions, emotionally, you know? Golly.
First a theme song and now a trip to the box! I declare Lurk Real Close: Queen Robot Moose of the Year!
Nicely done, box-dwellers!
Nicely done! 🙂
But “IT appears” made me think of Moira the Missing. She’s in IT right? Come back Moira!!!
Happy new year to those of you who made the cut, and were found deserving.
My excuse is I was away from home overnight, at a wedding, so it’s now 1.50pm UK time and I’ve only just seen this 😉
Yes, but what day is it there?
I’m never entirely sure what day it is. I’m pretty sure it’s Sunday now but could easily be wrong.
I thought you were at least a day ahead of me! Well, maybe half a day, then. It’s 1:36 pm here.
We’re about 8 hours ahead of you, then – it’s just 9.40pm now.
Why is everyone saying there are triangles in the first picture? When I looked I saw solees.
isosceles?
You both did? Huh, I just saw a schooner.
Was it acute one?
Nah, I thought it was a unicorn at first. It was a bit obtuse.
Good, left with 44, return to 118 responses.
Might even warm me up, after the cold should I was just given.
oh well, too quiet here, especially with all the 400 Bad Request error messages.
Good night Flatland
Saturday Round-up 09/18/2010
YSaC, Vol. 793: Can the tables be tesselated?
Rectangular triangles and six-sided octagons made Grampdaddy a sammich, while Christina went to the center of the universe looking for a father figure. HamCan played the lotto without knowing the winning numbers, Ed offered him the ones from last Wednesday via Uncle Google, and HamCan suggested selling them on Craigslist. Ed went off to hire Telly Monster, kelli exposed Telly’s membership. HamCan loved triagles once, and Grampdaddy wanted a bike path through the harvest.
Grampdaddy thought the tables were embarrassed or bare assed because they didn’t have their plants on. Christina loved the minimalist stairs and tables. Grampdaddy wanted to sign up for the stake of the month club from yesterday, but Christina wanted Tofu of the Month clubs. Cap’n Mac said a few words and got a few stairs. Christina claimed to be a klutz. Nonsensicalcat worried about the plants causing the tables to no longer be rectangular. Astrognash invoked the Venus Tabletrap plant. HamCan countered with Mitered Sawgrass.
Archie dropped in to wish Grampdaddy a bushy good morning, and lament the counting job Sparky did. NotMyName blamed it on speeling issues; Christina noted that big words impress us. Cap’n Mac baked all of the time.
Indigo refused to have his wood scratched, with Sparky making a perfect glass of himself. Grampdaddy threw a root ball at the line. Christina named her Phillip Glass cover band Perfect Glass. Bianchi echoed the statement10. Christina meant Steve Reich. HamCan got cockney and Bianchi didn’t know what happened. Cap’n thought drmk was unusually cruel to her catulator.
Camille wanted green tables, Grampdaddy hadn’t given up his dream of a bike path, and MandaB said Farm Thing. Archie pointed out the shrinkage problem, Grampdaddy put a tarp over his tent, HamCan refused to type up the program. Or funeral. Christine put lines on the table in Amsterdam, and said penis. HamCan could not remember his trips to Amsterdam. Christina pointed out the tell tale signs. HamCan located a pair of wooden shoes shaped like penises, and Christina thought they would be covered in PAM. HamCan did not intrude into PAM’s private time. Grampdaddy didn’t finish his zombie, and HamCan did not say penis.
Sarahjean didn’t want any more tables that transformed into rutabagas. Kae has buttered toast tables. Christina thought they were French Provential toast. Grampdaddy wanted to know where the butter landed, but didn’t want to tell Hammy. HamCan and Christina shared some, er, butter.
LimeLolly is apparently shedding her skin and needs a backscratcher. Silva Noir suggested going bear. Bridgete had given good advice to not borrow LurkRealClose’s poncho. LRC wanted her poncho back for Saturday Night. HamCan wrote a theme song for the poncho, and LRC told him to stop touching her.
ToBScholarly thanked Sparky for instructions on what to do with the tables. TBS also heard Sparky’s cry for help. Penguin thought Sparky was deprived of a shape sorter toy as a child. Windrose was off to visit actual Sparkies in their lairs, looking for a futon. TBS warned her away from vintage t-shirts, and asked for something providential or rectangular. Christina supplied the hazmat jumpers and wished good luck to the shoppers. HamCan used hazmatt jumpers to avoid righteous indignation. Ha Ha. Windrose returned with no futon but lots of dvds.
HamCan visited Circ du Soliel, and the 1950s style Star Wars showroom. LRC’s poncho makes her look like a triangle. HamCan was thinking battle cruiser tables and RU6+2 units with eight sides. Ha Ha. Christina’s theory is that Sparky learned the word octagonal from YSaC, but not the definition. HamCan suggested Reader’s Digest Word Power. Cap’n believes all Craigslist ads are written by blind Sparkies.
Astro suggested Tesselated Tables as the Band Name of the Day. Christina revealed Ikea’s new marketing strategy: catmath. Eclectic Blue praised drmk for linking to the YsaCtionary, and then showed us her pepper with a beard and a penis. HamCan got all tongue twisted, Christina wanted proof. HamCan mentioned pron. EB’s spouse made her throw the pepper away.
Kelli condemned Sparky’s housekeeping skills. TBS also disliked this, and flashy self-portraits. Silva Noir also agreed, and Christina couldn’t believe a Mac user would be so sloppy. Cap’n left for the game.
Grampdaddy and Manda shared a warm, father-daughter moment. Grampdaddy lamented his cute puppy not getting belly rubs. HamCan mentioned standards, and Manda set them low. Drum Captain obliged by rubbing the puppy’s tummy. Grampdaddy was completely thankful. Christina avoided the trap.
Lou Stool commented to get mentioned in the Round-Up. TacoMagic, in a rare weekend appearance, also commented to get mentioned in the Round-Up. Christina appeared a bit confused, and HamCan expected rampant punching.
NMN took a head count of right coast snarkers. Four responded, more were fingered. HamCan called An.Avatar a pan-handler, and needed his windshield cleaned. An.Avatar named a price, and Christina jacked it up. Christina also submitted evidence that we just cleared 100 comments, because the topic was not smutty. And no new resident in the Don’t Suck box. Manda warned that the Gubbermint is stealing our posts. Snuggies were also mentioned. Then, as if by magic, Windrose noticed there were four new people in the box, including LRC. LRC pointed out that she was in the box. LRC liked being in the box for the first time. LRC was so happy she went off to ride the roller-coaster. AndieJD complimented the non-sucking members of the group. Christina missed Moira, and called for her return. Cap’n Mac sent congratulations and a cryptic message. Bianchi, Christina, and HamCan were seeing things. Cap’n marked the number of comments when he left, compared to the number when he reappeared. Then he went off to Flatland.
You misspelled my name, but I’m giving you a door for sheer awesomeness!
I don’t know if I have enough strength for punching, and four punching at that. So share this amongst yourselves, please. kelli, sarajean, HamCan, and LRC! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, TENT City!
It’s 11:21pm Tucson time, so I’ll assume my other box dwellers received their punches from each other.
FYI: There is a geologic feature in Tasmania called the Tesselated Pavement. It’s not paved, but more like a tesselated tableland.