collectible tile of John F Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy..$50
A nice hangable collectible tile of John F Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy.. …Hand decorated…
approx 6″x6″
$50 or b/o
*Squints*
*Tilts head to one side*
*Attempts to make it turn into some sort of 3-D stereogram thing*
*Fails*
This is one of those things like where you see the Virgin Mary in a slice of toast, isn’t it?
Thanks for the link, Kate!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
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Oh no, not two days in a row. This is like standing in front of a mirror
and chanting “Bloody Mary”.
Smedley, you need to either get a life or sleep a little longer. Or both! 8)
I have a life. Just because it’s mostly nocturnal, is no reason to hate.
Hmmm. To edit or not to edit.
Smedley, darling. I was making a funny, not a nasty. Teasing. Joking. Kidding. No hate involved.
Psst, Windrose, I think Smedley was joking too.
Now, orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana” has been my catchphrase for a while. I saw it on “Titan Maximum”. If you get a get a kick out of stop motion puppets saying the “F” word, go get “Titan Maximum”. Astro, you may not want your parents to watch it with you. FYI.
Wha? He was joking too? On YSaC? That never happens!
So when are we going to see John Jr. collectible crap?
Like Cessna aquarium bubblers?
Want! 8)
Pretty sure this is a conspiracy….
The seller’s name is probably Lincoln.
“collectible tile” is 15 letters, “ugly piece of crap” is 15 letters…hmm, you may be on to something.
So is “Paul is verry dead.” Coincidence? I think not…
So is “John is the Walrus”.
As is “Bianchi’s Hard-Ons”.
I always hoped my hard-ons would be involved in a conspiracy!
Ooh! I’ve always wanted a complete set of Kennedys.
Wait. Are the Kennedys in the urn-shaped tile? Or maybe they are the urn-shaped tile. Which would be kind of disappointing as it would be difficult to have guests over for a tour, point to the urn-shaped tile and say, “…and this is the gestalt consisting of the formerly separate John F. and Robert Kennedy. No, really, I had it tested for DNA, the certificate is inside.”
It’s the new environmentally friendly way of doing things… toss all the family members into one urn.
Actually their ashes are in there, and their urn is a ceramic made from the ashes of Marilyn Monroe … 8)
*watches line get its coat and leave*
The line’s not going anywhere until you say “penis.”
Will “pecil” do?
I think the pecil will only do if you get it excited.
And here I thought it had that always-lead-filled advantage.
Is the line gone now, or do the quotation marks nullify the sentiment?
I’m reasonably sure that quotation marks enhance the sentiment and the line has been obliterated.
It ran away after it got anally raped by Bianchi’s quotated pecil. That kind of treatment is a hard on to get over.
And now it’s never, ever, ever coming back, and will probably go commit suicide in the most painful way it can find.
Astro! Do not make me wash your mouth out with soap, young man!
*parenting skillz, I has ’em!
Yeah what Christina said and I’m probably closer.
Well they are both “pushing daisies” at this point now, right? So I don’t see a problem with this representation.
I’m going to go look for an ad selling an “oriental” vase.
An archaeological dig at the legendary Kennebunkport site has unearthed this rare treasure.
It’s an vase, a cheap, crappy, vase.
Thus proving scientists theory that the Kennedy’s lost all sense of style when Jackie went to Greece.
Archaeologists later confirmed that paintings of Elvis on velvet were found a level below the vase and wicker furniture was lying beside it, the Wal-Mart tags still attached.
Later they expect to unearth what may have been a closet belonging to Joseph Kennedy.
“I’ll bet we find pale yellow leisure suits in that one.” Said one obviously disappointed member of the group.
“Doesn’t matter, matey,” the head of the expedition, Dr. Wilfred Smythe, said, “we can sell all these
useless pieces of craphistorical artifacts on craigslist. We’ll make a fortune.”[Matt] Ewer have got to be kidding me.
I amphora selling things on Craigslist but at least get the pictures of the president’s vases where you can see them. Sparky has been smoking to much pottery!![/Matt]
“Tile of John F Kennedy”
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Sparky got something wrong?
Inconceivable!
I can’t imagine what else it could mean. Maybe he’s speaking in code.
Tile and urn are indivisible, and when one man is enshrined in tile, all men are urned. When all are tiled, then we can look forward to that day when these two medium will be joined as one in a peaceful and hopeful tile urn. When that day finally comes, as it will, the people of Craigslist can take sober satisfaction in the fact that they tried to sell this urn when none recognized its greatness.
All red tables, whether for sale or not, are tile urns, and, therefore, as a red table, I take pride in the words “Ich bin ein Ziegel-Urne.”
Much doors for this comment, perhaps because it reminded me of Eddie Izzard’s “I am a hamburger” rant about that speech.
He was indeed my inspiration for that comment.
How is this hangable?
Ooh, and I’m in the box again!
Hooray Camille! I’ll punch gently tonight, in case the bruises are still tender.
Well you just tip it on its side and put it on your bedazzled deer hoof rack. Tada!
Don’t the hoofs pointing up mean your luck runs out?
I don’t think it is. But even if it was, I don’t see the point considering Sparky already shot it three times…
(…and there’s your conspiracy theory, folks. Once for Robert, twice for JFK.)
EDIT: …and mysteriously, editing is back, just like that. The plot thickens!
It would look lovely on a grassy knoll.
Why is this hangable? As an instant-gratification piñata?
“Just hit it once, man!”
“Why is the candy in a pile of ashes?”
Teddy’s is gonna be an empty Jack Daniels bottle…
Woah man, too soon!
*Sniff*
We can only hope that Teddy is bellying up the great open bar in the sky right now. Or tossing out in the great public urinal in the sky.
In Heaven, there is no tossing out.
I think they’d make an exception for Teddy.
“Oh, Teddy?”
“Hic…yes?”
“Phone call for you…line two.”
“Hic..a phone call? In heaven?”
“Yes, it’s a Mary Jo Something….says she wants to remind you of the 60’s”
If there’s any justice, this is actually happening right now.
I have to say I agree, CJ. No matter how much I liked his politics, to me, nothing ever quite made up for leaving Mary Jo Kopechne to die in a river.
This time it’s him in the car, repeated ad infinitum.
Uncle Wiki says they disbanded, but are back together without Jello:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Kennedys
But…I thought there was always room for Jello!
I didn’t realize snarks had “born on” dates or moratoriums… 😉
This Sparkmeister has hit on a revolutionary form of economics. He’s willing to use body odor as a form of currency. If I knew this was coming, I never would’ve gotten the habit of deodorant so ingrained in me that the concept of breaking that habit is revolting. I had a boss in my last blue-collar college job that never was in that habit, so he’ll be stinking rich soon. I need to talk to this Spark to figure out the exchange rate. How much b/o is equal to $50? Grocery stores and other places of public business will soon start to smell not as pleasant, but there will be a lot fewer homeless people around. Or more? ‘Cause a few days sitting on the street corner sans bath would probably be much more sound an investment than playing the markets.
I foresee a booming investment market for patchouli oil.
Eeeeek! I’m allergic to it. But maybe I can invest enough to become rich enough to surround myself with people who I will pay to bathe. 8)
Wait. So you’re saying… you will use your money to pay to give these people baths?
If you look like your avatar, put me on a waiting list for about… oh, say, three years in the future. I’ve been feeling a little dirty lately, almost like I’ve been rolling around in a gutter somewhere.
You know, I thought I hated pachouli, until I smelled it on its own, without the unwashed 420 funk, It’s kind of pleasant.
I can believe that … my allergy seems to be triggered most often when it’s combined with musk, as perfume – plain patchouli (sans funk de corps) might be OK, but I’m not going to chance it.
Funk de corps sounds kinky.
Yeah, and “Corps de Funk” would get more bookings, as a band name . . .
Drum Corps International is proud to present, all the way from Ish, Kclhm, THE FUUUUNK DE CORPS!!!!!!!
*Rocks Slowly in his rocking chair on the porch*
*Squeek*
Yup. Them’sis a bad post all right. Bad post…
*Squeek*
*Squeek*
Gonna be a mighty hot day. Mighty Hot.
*Squeek*
*Squeek*
*Zzzzzzzzzzz*
I don’t know what all those dots are (certainly not ellipses), but at least there’s one part of this ad I can believe.
You’re a “the urn is half made of tile” kinda girl I see.
Not quite so optimistic. Seriously, Not.A.Tile.
Also, not a 6×6 square.
Obviously Not a.Square. Everyone who has studied catmath knows squares are 5×7 and have 3 sides.
6×6 would be an oval, right?
That would be an oval only if it had 47 to 12 corners.
Has anyone found the Craiglist entry for an oriental vase with a strange picture beneath the advert of a flat squarish teracotta item with two heads glazed onto it, bearing some likeness to each other? If so, let swap? My kitchen remodelling tiling theme of likenesses of political dynasties (Bush and Pitt already counted for) cannot accommodate a vase in which to put ashes/flowers/stuffe. phone xxx07070xxx and ask for Saucy
When is an urn a tile? Let’s crawl into Sparky’s head and find out:
Sparky: Hey Sparkette, what’s this here container made of?
Sparkette: It’s ceramic.
Sparky: Wha’zat?
Sparkette: It’s like tile.
Sparky: I thought that was called linolium?
Sparkette: Nah, ceramic’s them fancy tiles what rich folks use. Sparky: Like the Kennedys?
Your Tile theory doesn’t hold water…
You obviously overhear as many stupid conversations as I do.
One of the more recent ones at a street fair:
Sparkles1: “Deep fried oreos, maybe we should try those.”
Sparkles2: “Ew, no way. Those are so bad for you. Think of all the oil!”
Sparkles1: “Oh, I guess you’re right. What do you want to get then?”
Sparkles2: “Hey look! A funnel cake stand! Lets go get some funnel cakes!”
Sparkles1: “Oh, I LOVE funnel cakes!”
Me: *le sigh*
I’ve actually had people argue with me that diet soft drinks have to make you lose weight, otherwise it would be illegal to call them diet. Of course, these are the same folks who call my meals “rabbit food” regardless of what it is.
Illegal, eh? In a way, you almost have to admire such naïve trust in the system. Or not.
I suddenly remembered one I heard a long time ago at a craft fair (or something like that):
Girl: “Wow, this is entirely hand sewn! I wish I could sew something like that.”
Sparky (boyfriend): “Why not? You own a sewing machine, you just need a little practice.”
Girl: “But that’s not hand sewing, that’s machine sewing.”
Sparky: “No, when you use a sewing machine you’re using your hands to guide the cloth, so it’s hand sewing. Machine sewing is when one of those factory robots does it.”
Pretty much everyone, including “girl”, who overheard that turned to see if the guy was joking. He was not. He became rather uncomfortable with all the attention and moved on to look at something else while “girl” just stared after him with a dumbfounded look on her face. I’ve been giving her the benefit of the doubt in thinking that maybe Sparky was a relative.
So you’ve been to the Peanut Festival in Dothan, Alabama, Taco?
Ah, Dothan. I had three contractors that lived there, a father and two sons. These were the guys who got paid the big bucks to fix critical power grid infrastructure when something went down. They were apparently really smart, and really good at what they did, but oh.my.god. I could barely understand a word they said. Reminded me of Boomhauer from King Of The Hill.
I have a friend from Dothan who has lived away from there for a long time, so her accent is intelligibly mitigated. She has described the type of people of which you speak, however.
Once when I was rather younger and worked in a grocery store in the Pacific NW, I had a coworker from “Tinnissee,” and one day some people came in and asked me a question in a Southern accent so pronounced that I had no idea what they were saying. On some level I knew it was English but had no clue what they’d asked. My friend correctly determined the situation, and piped up, “Oh, it’s over there, aisle [whatever]” and as I turned to look at her in gratitude she chirped “Aren’t you glad I’m here to translate?” Age and exposure to more people from different parts of the country (and world) have improved my comprehension, but sometimes I still wish she was around! She’s back (almost) home now in Georgia, so I don’t have her at hand, however.
My parents live just north of Dothan, having moved there from the Midwest in the late 80’s it took them some time to adjust to the “language” of the South.
Case in point is the following which took place the day the telephone man showed up to install a new connection.
*Door knock and Mom opens*
“Guh..eeenen”
“Hello”
“Awn sum teet.”
“Excuse me?”
“Awn sum teet. Chetyet?”
*Mom turns around and yells to my father (a native to the area)*
“Honey, this gentleman is speaking to me, but I have no idea what he wants”
*Dad sees telephone company truck and figures out who the guy is*
“You’re here to install the phone line, right?”
“Yes, but awn sum teet. Chetyet?”
*Dad stands silent for a moment and then the light bulb goes off*
“OH! I see…you’re asking if we’ve had our dinner yet because you are hungry, right?”
“Yes’m…chetyet?”
“Why yes we have, but there’s some chicken left over. Help yourself.”
The man comes in and sits down to a plate of cold chicken.
Thus endeth my mother’s first lesson on “southern” and their unique ways. After that if someone showed up to work on something it was a given they’d be there for breakfast/dinner/supper, too..depending on the time of day.
Comfortably dumb
By: Ming void
Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
I’m stuck inside this vase.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now,
I hear you feeling down here.
Well I can see your pinky
Get your hand in here again.
Relax.
You need some lubrication first.
Just the basic KY
Can you show me where it’s stuck?
There is no way you are JFK
A load of bull sh!t, smoke and mirrors.
You are only fooling the naive.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.
I think Silva had a fever
Your hands felt just like two baboons.
Now I’ve got that feeling once again
I can’t explain you would not understand
RFK is not who I am.
I have become comfortably dumb.
I have become comfortably dumb.
O. K.
Your just a little dim prick.
There’ll be no more buuuuying!
But you may be a little hick.
Can you stand it?
I do believe its snarking good.
I have a house to show
A deposit, please lets go.
There is no way you are JFK
A load of bull sh!t, smoke and mirrors.
You are only fooling the naive.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.
When I was a child
I caught a cheating spouse
Out by the corner of the house
I turned to look but he was gone
I cannot give a rip now now
That was totally OT
The tile is gone.
I have become comfortably dumb.
I am nearly weeping with joy at this one, Hammy! As soon as the kids are napping I will be logging on to my computer just to give you a mountain of doors. And a big pink pig. And an autographed Roger Waters bass.
Awesome!!!+elebenty!
So I see this ad, and my mind instantly goes to “urn”. But then I think to myself, “Self,” I think, “That is just too inappropriate.” and then I read the comments and I see Marilyn and I see Teddy horking in Heaven and I remember. Oh yeah. YSaC.
Well done, all! Carry on. A bathtub full of Jim Morrisons to you all.
Teddy Horks in Heaven is LRC’s Johnny Hates Jazz cover band.
Teddy Horks Heaven is a Bob and Doug McKenzie snuff film…Eh
Gives new meaning to the phrase “take off, hoser,” eh? And an excellent earworm, too.
So like, European Urn is off limits?
Especially the Grecian ones…I heard they had an ODEr on them.
Try greek!
greek or geek?
OFF TOPIC — Hey, how would you (plural) like to be part of a YSaC Book Club? We can throw out a list of book suggestions in the fora, and spend the whole month arguing about which one to read. Everyone can participate, since we might not actually read anything. We should dedicate ourselves to books of deep social meaning that teach important lessons about life.
http://www.amazon.com/Daily-Show-Stewart-Presents-Earth/dp/044657922X/ref=pd_sim_b_7
I am definitely in favor of this. Can we start with “Harold and the Purple Crayon”, please?*
*No, I don’t get a chance to do much reading for fun that isn’t children’s books these days. Why do you ask? 🙂
‘One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish’ has a bigger socio-economic importance to the meaning of mankind than most other books… the number one pick though is ‘Horton Hears A Who’…. makes me weep. every. time.
Manda — that’s one of my favorite books. You can tell because I’ve read it so many times I don’t even look at the words anymore.
A book club where we don’t read books? Sign me up! Oh, and post an ad on CL so we can submit it here and snark about the concept. Ow, I sprained my meta. 🙂
I’m totally in, whether we read books or not. (Nerd, in case you hadn’t noticed.)
Is this a book club for men?
too
I’m in! And I’ve been yearning to reread Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.
I keep meaning to get back to the fora, but never have time. Now I may do it anyway!
I’m sooooooooooo in!! And, can we discuss the possibility of reading “The Wit and Wisdom of Spiro Agnew”? I hear its blank pages speak volumes about man’s inhumanity to man…or sammiches, it may speak about sammiches…I’m never quite sure.
I love to discuss books, and don’t have time to read them, so this is perfect for me.
Count me in.
I don’t know how to read, only how to write…
What did I just say?
Don’t worry, Hammy! The puppies can read it out loud to you.
Who’s a good widdle puppy wuppy? Awww… Now, now. No belly rubs this time, tricky pup!
Is that a pecil in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?
I was thinking a while ago about starting something like this, specifically w/ Pratchett’s Discworld books.
But any sort of book club with you folks, I’m in!
Oh, oh, oh, AR, there’s a new Tiffany book due out soon! We could do that one! 8)
Tiffany, the 80’s mall singer and 00’s Playboy skank, Tiffany?
eek, would be good, except I’ve only read the ones with Death, and Death’s Daughter in them.
So, “Mort” and “Hogfather”?
Cap, Death is in almost all of them, for a page or two, anyway. I love the Death of Rats appearances, too. Death’s daughter was in the Tooth Fairy one and another one that escapes me right now.
Smedley, Tiffany Aching is a chalk witch in the Pratchett books. She’s my role model. I would so have tied a younger brother to a stake to lure out a river monster! Maybe that’s why mom stopped with me?
The “Thud” books? I never read any of those. I didn’t see a familiar name (ie: Rincewind, CDR Vimes, Granny Weatherwax etc.) on the dust jacket, so gave ’em a pass. Are we talking about Deaths’ daughter or granddaughter?
Pratchett’s been on my must read list for about twenty years. Maybe this book club will kick my ass into gear.
Can I suggest a book?
Does it require crayons?
Smedley, you’re right, she’s Death’s granddaughter. NMN, everyone is welcome to suggest books! Don’t hold back.
I changed my mind about suggesting a book, because the book I was going to suggest is heavy reading. It does not require crayons.
Windrose count me in. Can I suggest ‘How To Be A Complete and Utter Failure in Life, Work and Everything – 44 1/2 steps to lasting underachievement’ by Steve McDermott. Its my favourite read at present and sure has got my sorry a*se into gear …..
Sad to say I think the majority of Sparkies are reading this for real! *Takes another happy pill* *washes it down with neat gin* * smiles*
Ask not what this urn/vase/thingie can do for you, but what you will have to do for the fiddy bucks to buy it.
I’m hoping it won’t be to sing: ‘Happy Birthday, Mr. President’.
Please! I’ve wasted 1/2 cup of good coffee all over my keyboard…..
Ceramic missile crisis averted!
That darn Fired El Kilnstro!
I nominate for our book club’s inaugural selection: Everybody Poops.
Followed up with The Gas We Pass.
Why do I know these things? I don’t have kids!
I don’t have them either, but I do have friends who are children’s and school librarians. Did you know there is a series with a character named Walter the Farting Dog, and that (at least at one time) stuffed toys of this character were available? And that they are/were functional? And that not long after 9/11, the TSA pulled one out of some guy’s luggage because it was setting off some of their (never described or explained) substance detectors?
Well, you do now!
Yes, Walter the Farting Dog, Captain Underpants, Stinky Cheese Man … while I have no children, I have friends’ children and godchildren, and I buy these books. Well? At that age, you just want them to read!
And be regular too, apparently.*
😀
*Honest Stewardess, that wasn’t me it was Walter!
Jeff Dunham, FTW
I’m opposed to talking about reading anything scatological.
Sure hope nobody nominates Green Eggs and Ham. Although it would be a good precursor to the poop and gas books.
Dang, no Giggler Treatment for us.
Well, you could always oppose my opposition and talk about reading Giggler Treatment to spite me. 😉
Yeah, sort of a literary mud wrestling event! And yes, Hammy, everyone is equally invited to discuss books and wrestle in the mud.
Someone else’s turn in the barrel tomorrow morn. I will be chauffering my co-irkers to the off site training area when the new one posts. Didn’t want to risk the “Three on a Match” thing.
Well if the post goes up exactly at 7:47 cdt, and I do not purchase a scratch off ticket to while away the minutes before heading to my cube, I will gladly call “firsties” tomorrow*.
*this may or may not be true.
Also, if I do happen to be the first comment, I’m changing my name to Smedley to post it. 😀
That’s naughty! I’ll be done by noon, and off till Saturday.
Yay, weekends at the end of the week. Woo hoo. Yeah.
Meh.
I’ll be there, Smed. Hopefully I’ll have my snark at 6am.
The letters aren’t right to change your name to Smedley
How about:
Trini Cash
or
Trish Cain
or
Cristi Han
or
Rina Stich
or
Chi Strain
or
Rich Saint
I try to be a rich saint, but it’s too much of a chi strain.
Well, Camille, here’s a gentle punchity punch punch that is not adjustable, but it is prime.
G’Night, Hyannisport!
Discworld books don’t really have to be read in order. And they’re all good.
I need to new post to go up sooner. I’m having breakfast now, but am about to go off to the land of not checking YSaC, lest I get sucked in for hours.