YSaC, Vol. 834: And now he only eats guitars!

2010 October 29

FREE! FREE! FREE!


WE HAVE BEAUTIFUL LONG GROWING WEEDS WE WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF PICKING OUR WEEDS! GREAT FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY FUN! OR ARE YOU MAD AT YOUR CHILD? DID THEY SKIP SCHOOL? SEND THEM OVER TO OUR HOUSE AND HAVE THEM PICK OUR WEEDS! YOU CHOOSE FROM OUR BACKYARD OR FRONT YARD! GIMME A CALL NO JOKE MY NAME IS MARIA xxx-xxx-xxxx THANKS CANT WAIT TO SEE YA (NO APPOINTMENT NEEDED!!!)

I think the thing that amuses me about this the most is that Maria is espousing weed-picking both as an option for a fun family activity AND as a punishment.

But that’s not really what I want to talk about today. Instead, I want to talk about something I thought about the other night while playing the recently released Rock Band 3, which is this: why is it that I am in constant danger of forgetting really important things (like remembering to wear pants), but I can spontaneously recall every word to the rap break in Blondie’s Rapture?

Discuss.

Thanks for the ad, Samantha!

287 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 October 29
    sarajean80 permalink

    GIMME A CALL NO JOKE MY NAME IS MARIA xxx-xxx-xxxx THANKS CANT WAIT TO SEE YA (NO APPOINTMENT NEEDED!!!)

    So… Why would I be calling you if I don’t need an appointment? Just to chat for a bit before I come over and “have fun” doing your chores? I don’t think so, Sparkles. I don’t like doing yardwork at my house, I’m sure as hell not going to drive over and do yours as well.

    Unless these are “special” weeds. In that case I can be there in ten minutes.

    Adores: 26
  2. 2010 October 29

    I went to Sparky’s to pick “weed”s and I forgot how to get home.

    Adores: 19
    • 2010 October 29
      Tankerbell permalink

      I went to Sparky’s to pick “weed”s and I ate all Sparky’s Doritos, watched re-runs of Star Trek for 14 hours (so colorful!) and burned a hole in my Snuggie. Now Maria’s making me go out and do yardwork for punishment. Harsh, dude.

      Adores: 9
  3. 2010 October 29

    “…why is it that I am in constant danger of forgetting really important things (like remembering to wear pants), but I can spontaneously recall every word to the rap break in Blondie’s Rapture?”

    Obviously it’s because you have your priorities in order.

    And cuz they is some bitchin’ rappin’ goin’ on in that break.

    “…cause the man from Mars is through with bars, he’s eatin’ cars…”

    Say..don’t stop to punk rock!!

    Adores: 16
    • 2010 October 29
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      OMG — that was just on XM 80’s.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 29
      Moira permalink

      Perhaps if you got the Schoolhouse Rock guys to compose you a “How to get dressed in the morning” song, you would not forget your pants.

      [corey]The inspiration for Schoolhouse Rock came when a guy wondered why his kid who had trouble with the multiplication tables could recite every lyric to every Van Halen song (or some other rock group – I don’t recall which).[pop education corey]

      (I apparently have forgotten my email address as I have a quilt this morning for some reason.)

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 October 29

        What an interesting corey, Moira!

        Okay, back to stalking waiting for the mailman. Apparently something was sent out yesterday morning to a LOT of recent law graduates in Massachusetts.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          Update: A friend just got hers. *Impatiently walks to window every 5 seconds to look for mail truck*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          *keeping fingers crossed*

          I can’t believe they use that Socialist agency the USPS to send out those letters and not the Capitalistic (“hey, we got an idea—we’ll just remove the first “s”!) UPS network.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29

          I know! Don’t they know that these are IMPORTANT and must arrive quickly?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          *lights candle to St. Thomas More, patron saint of lawyers*

          *lights candle to St. Jerome, patron saint of librarians, just in case*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          *lights bonfire to St. Bridgett, she just spelled her name wrong back then*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Bridgete, Esq. permalink

          I passed! IpassedIpassedIpassedIpassedIpassedIpassedIpassedIpassedIpassed!!!!!!

          😀

          Adores: 27
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          EEEEEEE! Party time, Celebrate, bake a cake, Excellent!

          Ahem. I knew you would. 8)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          SpaceBug permalink

          B. Esq., you say that as if you had doubts…
          Congrats.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          Now that you are admitted to the bar, I hope you don’t have to work at one!
          *passes flask*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29

          High fives, hugs, and “I told ya so”s all around!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          *Hands over a steaming cup of coffee*

          Yay! Limbo Time!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Stephanae permalink

          Uh oh, Bridgete, it might have been a bad day to announce that you’re now a member of the bar since the man from mars likes to eat bars.

          Okay, that was lame, but I wanted to say Congratulations!!!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          Congratulations! Weeds for everyone!

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 29
          Camille permalink

          Of course you passed! Yay!!!!!!

          Welcome to the club. You may later become sorry you joined.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          Yay, B!♥!

          Now I have someone to call if I’m ever arrested in Massachusetts.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          Yay Bridgete!!
          I totally baked your cake yesterday because I knew you would pass. But then I went and picked “weed”s at Maria’s and I eated it.
          Welcome to the club, my sistah!

          (These are my cats, Wishkah and Satsop. Satsop is orange, Wishkah is black. Free weeds to whomever can tell me what they are named after. We also have a kitteh named Zeus, who is black.)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Congrats Bridgete, Esq!
          Beantown won’t be the same anymore.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          HOORAY!! Congrats, Miss Bridgete! Now about these tickets…..

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          CapnMac permalink

          I passed!

          Never doubted it for a minute (scoring by testing agency…)

          Besides, it’s synchronistic kharma. It’s Lori’s birthday (and she’s made cakes for an entire semester), and it’s National Cat Day–how could you not get good news, counselor?

          Your honor, Motion for hilarity and jocularity to ensue! And forthwith!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Aside: “Tankerbell’s Cat” sounds like the title of an artillery chamber music piece

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Bombdude permalink

          Congrats Bridgete!!!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          They’re rivers in Washington State, Tank!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Meej permalink

          Bridgete – Congrats!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Laurelhach permalink

          *clapclapclapclapclap*

          Huzzah!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          OMG congradulations B!!!!!!! And on national cat day!!!!!!!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          They’re rivers in Washington State, Tank!

          And Lola wins the free weeds!!!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          YAY Bridgete! Costume party!!!

          They’re rivers in Washington State, Tank!

          And Lola wins the free weeds!!!

          More accurately they are rivers named after Indian tribes in Washington State.*
          Can I haz some free weed too?

          *I was just fishing in the Satsop last weekend.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          Awesome. I always knew my sophomore year of Pacific Northwest history and labeling that map of Washington State would play off!

          Thanks, Tanks! I think I’ll repackage the free weeds and see if I can make some money. I mean, you can’t get busted if it’s not actually verboten substance, right? (I’m so not going to even think about testing that hypothesis!)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          Thanks everyone! ♥

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Lou Stool permalink

          Congrats, Bridgete! Now that you’re a bar, lemme know if you need a stool.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29

          Congratulations! Conga line!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 30

          Mr. Eyebrows and I snuck away for a weekend in the mountains, and I missed the timely celebration for your magnificent achievement. Congratulations Barrister Bridgete!

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 October 29

      This is going to be one tough earworm to shake.

      Adores: 2
  4. 2010 October 29

    OT – 400 errors all day yesterday, so today I’m trying FF. We’ll see what happens.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 29

      OT – FF seems to be free of 400 errors…woot!

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 29

      I just got the 400 error again, on FF. Every time it happens, I have to clear: cache, cookies, offline website data, all configured accounts, and authenticated sessions. If I do all that, it works again right away. So, I think the problem has something to do with whatever files are saved to our computers when we visit the site. After a time, the browsers get bogged down with these files and won’t load the page unless the files are deleted. The annoyance for me is that, when I clear all that stuff, every site I’m signed into (with the “keep me signed in” check box) gets signed out. Not that it’s THAT hard to sign back in to things, but still.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 29
        NotMyName permalink

        Yeah, that happens to me sometimes, the password and username thing. That’s bad because I belong to about 15 seperate sites.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29
        Bombdude permalink

        Chrome… Chrome… Chrome… Say it with me now…

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Oṃ maṇi padme hum Chrome!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          I just downloaded Chrome yesterday and this is the first time I’ve used it. Our IE has a virus, I think. Do you have to refresh with Chrome? And, if so, how do you?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          The little clockwise arrow next to the URL window = refresh

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Bombdude permalink

          Or be lazy like me and hit F5

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          I love Chrome and do use it for many things, but it drives me nuts to do anything that involves a lot of typing because if I accidentally click somewhere outside the typing window and don’t realize it, it interprets backspace as “back”. So then I look at what I typed, think, “oh, no, rephrase,” go to change it, and end up going 2 or 3 pages back.

          I’ve fixed the backspace=back setting on all my other browsers but when I tried to fix it on Chrome, I got nothing but dead ends. Even after I asked Uncle Google.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 October 29
        Addicted Reader permalink

        I find that going to Tools>Clear Recent History in FF (for Mac) fixes everything. I use FF exclusively for YSaC for this reason. (I was already using Safari for most stuff, but it wouldn’t play nice w/ YSaC, so tried FF. It usually works, and the only thing I lose when I have to clear everything is the forum log-in.)

        Adores: 1
  5. 2010 October 29

    FREE! FREE! FREE!
    *Anagram fun*

    Reef Refer Fee (Nemo goes bad)

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 October 29
      NotMyName permalink

      That could also be:
      Ref Reefer Fee (Referee has to pay to get high)

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 October 29

        Reefer Ref. Fee (Pay someone for a smokin’ resume’)

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          MandaB permalink

          It’s high time you got a job!

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          Whoa, is it the holidays already?

          Adores: 3
  6. 2010 October 29

    I’m really hoping this is some kind of drug reference.

    Is it?

    Please?

    *Hang Head*

    I’m gonna go watch Doctor Strange Love.

    Adores: 12
  7. 2010 October 29
    LimeLolly permalink

    If I’m going to pick something, it isn’t going to be weeds.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 29

      Nose?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 29

        Friend’s Nose?

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29
        Lola permalink

        I think that’s Lou’s daughter’s hobby. She’s a future archaeologist right there – already expert at digging for buried treasure!

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29
          Lou Stool permalink

          Chip off the old block, Lola.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29
        LimeLolly permalink

        You can pick your nose, you can pick your seat, you can pick your friends, you can pick your tombstone….. all which sound far more rewarding than weeding some strangers’ yard.

        Adores: 11
  8. 2010 October 29
    Lou Stool permalink

    After a long day of fixing toasters on Sesame Street, I guess Maria just doesn’t have the energy to pick weeds when she gets home. She should have kept that David guy around, methinks.
    On a related note, Gordon and Susan have let the dishes pile up again. Any takers?

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 October 29

      When they’re done with that, they can come over to to the Taco Hut and tackle the massive pile of laundry that we’ve been cultivating.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 29
      Windrose permalink

      Maybe Big Bird would like to chat with some of his smaller relatives while cleaning cages!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 29
        sarajean80 permalink

        Is that a papercraft Ceiling Cat?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          It appears to be both that and a full jug of awesomesauce.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29

          With a side of fanfreakintastic!
          Seriously, I want one, how much?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          “One million dollars!!!”

          Sorry, couldn’t resist.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          Yes, a paper model of ceiling cat, FREE ! FREE! FREE!

          You do have to build it yourself. If you have scissors or an Exacto knife and white glue (calm down, Al) you can do it!

          The photo is of the one hanging over my computer in the office.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          Chthulhu permalink

          Why, yes; it is!

          http://tubbypaws.blogspot.com/2008/03/meow-you-can-has-lolcats.html

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          That. Is the coolest thing. I have ever. Seen.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          Let’s up the ante a little.

          Completed.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          Also: Kupo!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 29
      Camille permalink

      And Oscar could really use some help tidying up his trash can.

      Oh, happy National Cat Day, all.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 October 29
        Lola permalink

        Happy National Cat Day, small bear!*

        *Yes, I know it’s a dog. It’s cute either way. 🙂

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          LimeLolly permalink

          Meow to one and all.

          *flings tuna and kibble into the Snark Lounge*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Cool — national cat day!!!!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          My cat, Bugsy-the-Insane, says every day is Cat Day….

          ….and bring him offerings of tuna….

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29

          In honor of National Cat Day, I’m switching the ears on my helmet from fox ears back to cat ears!

          Yay!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          Artsy, love the avvie! Is that yours?

          Brigete (and her avatar) is always ready for NCD.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          In honor of National Cat Day, the dog in my avatar promises not to eat any of the cats in your avatars. She made no promises about sniffing butts though.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Lola — yes she’s mine. Her name is Midnight (can you guess why?) and she’s just a year old. Our vet found her while hiking in the mountains. She and her sister were about 2 weeks old. So another adoption for our family.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          Meow!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          KittyShark permalink

          MeRAWWWWWWWWWWWWR!!!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Lou Stool permalink

          Happy National Cat Day to everyone! (Can I still celebrate eventhough I’m in Canada?)

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29
        Bavec permalink

        Happy National Cat day! My, everyone is looking very festive

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29

          Well, there’s something you don’t see everyday.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Nice avatar change Bavec!

          My cat Zeus took over for me.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          Mudsy, somehow yours TOTALLY has the Feline Overlord look.

          Bavec, I like the costume!

          Christina, life is about making compromises; the effort is appreciated.

          Artsy, she’s very cute. Are she and her sister twins?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Lola: More like Feline Overload. I swear he’s autistic. It’s meow, meow, meow; brush up against you; don’t touch me!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          Since I can’t think of a good cat-like video game character, I’m afraid my avatar isn’t going to change. Sorry.

          To make up for that, I promise not to kick my cat Daisy off the couch. Happy National Cat Day!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          Bavec – That’s … an image that’s gonna linger.

          Your Zeus sounds like my Firefly, Mudsy. She randomly bites people for no real reason. We call her “Psycho-Twitch”.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          Hey, that must be why Stormtroopers are such terrible shots.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          sj: Luckily, Zeus doesn’t bite. He just can’t stand to be petted or held.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          At some point during Severus’s life, I want to get a photo of him doing his Bast impression. He’s a very long cat and he has pointy features (another reason I think he’s part Siamese under all that black fur…that and the talking) so he really looks exactly like the statues when he sits up straight. Of course, every time I’ve grabbed the camera to catch him at it, he moves.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          mudsy – She tolerates cuddling and petting to a point, as long as it was her idea. She was sitting in my dad’s lap last night and he started to pick her up so he could get out of the chair and she growled and went all mid-evil on him.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 29
        Bavec permalink

        Thank you, all.
        NMN– I resent that..
        Mudsy, your kitteh is adorable. I think we need a YSaC cat convention

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          You may resent it, but do you deny that Stormtroopers are terrible shots?*

          *There is actually a logical, very Star-Wars-geeky explanation for exactly why they are, but I’m not saying why unless someone actually wants to hear me rant about Star Wars lore.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Thanks Bavec. I’ll let him know. Hopefully it won’t go to his head.

          Actually, I like my other sweet cat Zebb better, but she’s all black and I think that would be overkill in here today.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 29
        Bavec permalink

        No I do not deny it one bit. But you’ve got me curious, what is this logical explanation?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          They are all recent graduates of the Stormtroopers’ School of Marksmanship?

          I’m actually a little curious as well. Please share your geekery with us, NMN.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Stephanae permalink

          I want to know, too. NMN. Also, by the way:

          I can’t think of a good cat-like video game character

          I recommend Catwoman in Lego Batman.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          Maybe Cat Aiming is like cat math:

          The chances of hitting an object are inversely proportional to the number of shiny objects present. This actually means having C3PO on your side a positive boon (post gold chroming of course).

          Video Game Cat:
          Blaze the Cat from Sonic Rush.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          I apologize that this explanation is so late, I was at a Halloween party. So, on to the geekery:

          Okay, this requires some basic knowledge of all the movies, including the prequels. Anyways, so in episodes two and three, the clones were the elite troopers. They were trained over their entire lives, and specifically created for war. Every single one was the same.

          With the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire, most of the original clones had been destroyed. Also, the main facility where they had been trained and created, on Kamino, had been razed. So, the Empire needed new troopers. They had multiple botched attempts at creating the original clones, but the Emperor wanted soldiers quickly.

          So, the Empire began to hire regular people, mercenaries and ex-military types. These people hadn’t been trained from birth, and weren’t created solely for war. But they were good enough. So, the Empire cloned these people, quickly and cheaply; they are many, but not well-trained.

          Also, clone trooper armor was created for battle, stormtrooper armor is for survival on hostile worlds.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 30
          NotMyName permalink

          Also, as to the video-game-cat problem, I play mature games, remember?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 30
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, you could have tried on Yoruichi Shihōin for size.

          Still find it odd, as a Once Were Warriors fan, that Jake the Musc was the ideal clone warrior (especially after being so inept as to actually act in the stinker, Speed 2).

          Adores: 0
  9. 2010 October 29
    Windrose permalink

    If you didn’t see the results of the 3rd Quarter Don’t Suck-off, they are at the bottom of the the comments from yesterday. Congrats to all the lucky winners!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 29
      sarajean80 permalink

      For those too lazy to click over, the winner was…

      :drumroll:

      christina!

      Yay, christina!

      (I’m having a really hard time not capitalizing the c in “christina”.)

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 29

        If you wish to commit a capital offense, I’ll look the other way.
        *I know, bad christina! I’ll go to my corner now.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29

          Just be careful, if you commit a capital offense you’ll get thrown in the grammar.

          I’ll go back to the corner now.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          Do you ever leave the corner, Taco?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          All the cool kids hang out in the corner.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          I’ve been to The Corner a few times. But due to my age, The Line always manages to catch me and throw me out.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29

          Sarajean! Taco’s in my corner, and yes, he’s breathing my air!

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          Calm down, christina, Taco came in turd *wish I could easily do the cross out thing* I mean, third, in the Don’t Suck-Off. He can have some of your first place air.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29

          Okay, fine, but tell him to quit hogging the Nintendo.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          Bombdude permalink

          Windy, use [del]word you want to cross out[/del], but change the brackets to &gt and &lt

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Bombdude permalink

          AAAAhhhhh!!! Missed the un-re-adding of editing darn-it! Change brackets to the greater-than & less-than (or angle brackets)…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Stephanae permalink

          I see you’re short on semicolons today, Bombdude.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          The edit feature seems to be missing again. I hope that’s intentional.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          This is a rest test. Hey, I can be taught! Gonna put that on my resume!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 30
          Bombdude permalink

          I see you’re short on semicolons today, Bombdude.

          Well, maybe, but I blame it on being short on braaaaaaiiiins… I couldn’t remember the super cool way to represent the angle brackets without them being interpreted as HTML…

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 29
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Congratulations to all of those that “Don’t Suck”. I do like Manda’s t-shit idea (or was that Taco’s). SilvaNoir …… SilvaNoir where are you? We have a new project for our resident arTist.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29

        I’m right here. Shirt idea: what, where?
        I have a backlog of commissions to work on first though

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          I want a t-shit* that says “I don’t suck enough to get fourth place!”
          *Yes, that was intentional. Taco’s best typo ever!

          Manda

          This was from yesterday.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Do paying gigs first!

          Adores: 7
  10. 2010 October 29
    Lola permalink

    “Rap-ture! Be pure! Take a tour … ”
    *ahem*
    What kind of sad childhood did this woman have that weed “picking” (not pulling? that’s slightly more likely to solve the problem) could be family fun?
    “He’s eatin’ bars! Wall to wall! Door to door! Hall to hall!”
    *ahem*
    Yeah, I got nothin’ else. ‘Cept this earworm. Thanks, drmk!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 October 29
      MandaB permalink

      I like that one, but I’m going to go with a personal fave instead. “The tide is high…”
      Lola, I’m sad your childhood didn’t involve joyous afternoons after school, with all of your friends, picking weeds and air raiding the lawn. Oh, the fun.

      “I’m not the kind of girl, who gives up just like that…”

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 October 29

        I once had a love, and it was a gas.
        Just like pulling weeds out of the grass.

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 29
        Stephanae permalink

        Maria did say, “call me.” I think she had Blondie in mind, too.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          Not only that, Blondie did a song called “Maria.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29

          Maybe we should send over some English Boys to pull the weeds.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          Lola — I was going to reference that, but was worried it was too obscure.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          It’s definitely less-known now, and given the day I’ve had, I’m surprised my brain could cough that one up, actually.

          Adores: 1
  11. 2010 October 29
    Kae permalink

    And sweet, pure me is just thinking, “what? They don’t have family of their own to entertain and/or punish? And what kind of strange world are they living in that the two are interchangeable? Wait. Don’t answer that. Please. I mean it. Please.”

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 October 29

      None of my family gatherings involved weed-pulling but otherwise I could categorize them as both entertainment AND punishment. It’s a good thing Thanksgiving involves lots of food to counteract the awkward conversation.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 29

        You’re not related to me are you Silva?

        Most of my family reunions have, but are not limited to, the following entertainments: crying women, a fist fight, swearing, random attempts at trying to mend harsh divorces (My Grandma), questions to my gay 2nd cousin as to why he isn’t married from his militant anti-gay aunt, and my father and uncle crawling out of the hall under tables to get away.

        I really, really wish I was joking. Really.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 October 29

          Well, yours sounds a bit worse… mine is full of the usual drunken relatives (one of whom will always drive away, stinking drunk, and crash the car before they even leave the end of the street), overly critical questions about what I or anyone else is doing with their lives, and just plain awkwardness considering most of us don’t see eachother except for the holidays.
          Though we do have on of my uncles who was in Vietnam and afterward burnt out his brain on drugs and spends Thanksgiving hiding under the dining room table because the helicopters are after him.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 29
          Moira permalink

          I DID forget my email address earlier, darn it.

          My family managed to implode a few years back due to my grandmother’s nearly-fatal stroke and our holidays are much smaller than they used to be. This year, for added stress, my brother-in-law has chosen to import his mother from another country for a few weeks and then leave her on our doorstep for Chrismas… although her only grandchild is at his place.

          Now, I’m okay imposing this upon my mom and I actually have fun things to do with the chronically-depressed MIL (thanks to you all, I’m going to have her teach me crochet) but it’s REALLY messing with my hubby’s ability to deal with life in a sober manner and THAT is pissing me off.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Before I moved to the Midwest from the East coast, I had NO idea what a family reunion was—no one I knew ever had one. Guess that’s because everyone lived close enough to one another that every day was crazy meme-making day.

          I never could (and still can’t) understand why there was a need to rent a shelter in a state park at the same time every year so that everyone could drive a million miles* to get together and hate on each other in person while passing the potato salad.

          *for some reason, there are half inflated balloons attached to badly made direction signs involved in this ritual as well.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29

          *have ONE, not have on

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          It’s the Lutheran Guilt Complex. There is someone, somewhere in the family that is just ducky, and mothers and grandmothers MUST put a stop to it. Because if you’re doing just fine, you have to be sinning, and darn it, you should feel guilty about it. “Divorced? At your age? You are going to be lonely for the rest of your life, then die and go to Hell. I’ll pray for you.”*

          “Thanks, Mom. Anyone you want me to say Hi to while I’m there? Aunt Wilma, perhaps?”**

          * Sigh. Yes, she did.
          ** Oh, I really wanted to. Thee this divot in mah hung? Bled for hours.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 October 29

          Uncomfortable (adj):
          1) Providing or experiencing physical discomfort.
          2) Conducive to or feeling mental discomfort.
          3) Being the only Agnostic at your wife’s family reunion of around 120 devoutly Catholic relatives.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          I gave up on that fine tradition about the time I got married. I didn’t need the stress. Mr. Artsy said “Why do you spend a weekend doing something that makes you so miserable?”. Good question. I try not to do things that make me feel that way (with the exception of Mr. Artsy’s Company Holiday Party). I can handle anything for one evening.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          My family has reunions, but I live far enough away not to go. Fortunately, most of them are mostly sane and mostly well-behaved. We’ve been fortunate enough that the serious crazies 1. were in-laws, who are now divorced (problem solved!); 2. have had treatment and are better and we actually want to see them, or 3. they stopped speaking to the rest of us and that makes us happy. The fact that people mostly get along and aren’t too insane has me convinced that most of us are lying/hiding something/more drunk than anyone realizes.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          Maybe we ARE related Taco… my mother is super-duper Catholic. She was a Sunday school teacher and says the rosary several times a day. My grandmother was a nun (and not of the llama variety… of the Irish catholic variety)…. until she quit of course because she wanted a family.

          I don’t belong in any organized religion…. I believe strongly in the possibility of a benevolent god (non-gendered), and whole heatedly believe in souls and good and evil. But that’s it.

          For this I am regularly called a HEATHEN. To the point I think I want it on a button.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29

          Get yourself an unbaptized baby to bring along. It augments the fun. You get to be BOTH a heathen and a terrible parent.

          whee ha ha.

          Damn, I’m not even AT the family reunion and it’s starting to depress me that I’ll probably have to go again in another 10 months. Time to break out the lollipops that fart bunnies.

          *FRRRT!*

          Hi Mr Fluffybottom! Lets put this little hat on you! D’awww!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29

          Mr. Fluffybottom with his hat.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          Wow…umm….my only reunions are the ones we attend on my husband’s side.

          They’re a BLAST!! Lots of people our age, every bit the smart asses we are, and they have kids and grandkids we can ooh and ahh over.

          Damn, I almost feel ashamed to tell y’all this.

          On the other hand, there is a VERY good reason we have limited exposure to reunions involving my mother.

          No, she’s not Catholic (thank God!), but she….um…she crazy. And the alcohol only augments the crazy…it’s actually kinda funny any more, but when your elementary-aged kids start telling you how Grandma regaled them with stories of Jesus appearing at the foot of her bed and telling them that their mother (me) was going to Hell for not attending church….yeah, not so much.

          We didn’t let the kiddies spend much alone time with Grandma after that.

          And now…well, she lives 700 miles away and some days that’s too close. My poor stepfather…the main is either stone deaf or a candidate for sainthood.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          Awwww…. He thinks he’s Santa!

          Being an actual pentacle-wearing, goddess-worshipping pagan in a family with a lot of born-again Southern Baptists is the pits. I’m all for freedom of religion, but making a little boy (my nephew when he was eight) cry because he thinks Aunt Sara is going to hell is just all kinds of wrong.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29

          SJ…that is so wrong!

          My grandfather was a semi-famous Baptist minister and motivational speaker.

          I once asked him why all the fire and brimstone, depths of Hell, puttin’ the fear of…well, God…into the masses was for.

          His answer?

          “Show.”

          LOL…after that I had a hard time not giggling as I watched someone preach in such a manner.

          Seriously, though, as a devout Christian it just pisses me off no end when people go around pointing fingers and telling others how they’re going to Hell for this or that.

          Darlin’ your path is your path…and God Bless you on it! 😉

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Awwww…. He thinks he’s Santa!

          I believe that Taco meant to imply:

          Awwww…. He thinks he’s Satan!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          Thanks, CJ ♥

          He’s old enough now to ask questions and understand that there’s more than one way to look at the world, but I’m still holding on to a little bit of pissed-off for my sister (his mother) who shared that delightful tidbit with him.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Addicted Reader permalink

          We don’t have Family Reunions that way some of you are describing, but there are plenty of holidays on which various parts of the family get together, and there’s always something fun*.

          My uncle who’s always late, if he shows up at all. My BPD sister-in-law whose condition is almost made worse by prolonged exposure to extended family. My other uncle with the bad temper who would scream at my cousins (though he’s not as bed now that they’re not kids any more). Religious tension between various parts of my family. And so on…

          But each holiday is a different mix, so it keeps it from being so bad.

          *And by “fun,” I mean anything but.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          I don’t mean this to offend anyone, but I so agree with Gandhi, when he said,” I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

          Amen

          Adores: 17
        • 2010 October 29

          I’ve always liked Gandhi, that kid had spunk.

          Not so much in Civilization 4 though. Gandhi nuked Amsterdam… twice. Jerk.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          Thanks for making my family reunions look so functional (is that the opposite of dysfunctional?) My in-laws are basically teetotalers and all pretty nice people so nobody gets drunk and fights, but we are forbidden to talk politics and everybody pointedly does not ask where Mr. Tank and his brothers go when they go “for walks” or “to look at someone’s car”. Although there are plenty of scandals, divorces, etc., it’s all pretty cool.
          My birth family, while also having its share of scandals and where no one has the wedding before the kids, is also pretty cool. Except my mother, who is uberCatholic and gets meaner and more judgmental every day. We have repeatedly asked not to invite her, but Dad makes us. So my sisters drink. A lot. Which, rather than making them fight, makes them freaking hy-larious. And then we go out and smoke and give eachother post-trauma therapy from whatever mean thing my Mom has just said. I don’t smoke except with my sisters. When it is necessary for my mental health.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29
          Bombdude permalink

          I left all of my family in California and moved to NC. Makes family reunions much more bearable for me.

          “Sorry mom, can’t afford the plane tickets”

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Wow. I’m old enough to have had the experience of the we’re-having-that-Norman-Rockwell-[insert holiday]-even-if-it-kills-every-last-one-of-us family expereience, at least I’ve not had to deal with airing-of-greivances; non-Vogon shouting; or (much) Storming-off-in-a-huff.

          (All but one of my mom’s 6 Aunts lived less than 35 miles from my GGM, the very clear matriarch of that clan–might have been quite a lot of Miltown-suppressed angst, but everybody behaved or knew the reason why [possibly affected by the number of former Drill Instructors, female and male, at the table, too].)

          To the contrary, the “proper” family reunions I’ve been to have been more geneology-in-the-flesh evolutions rather than Recrimination Olympiads.

          Part of that would be very extended families on both sides of my family tree. Minor things like my GGF’s sister bore 13 children across 26 years of her married life (2.5 children after the first graduated college, to put that in perspective). Makes for an interesting meeting, to be around 200-250 people you are related to, but have never really met. Or to meet the family of your grandfather’s uncle, who is not older than your own father.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          Stephanae permalink

          I really like my family and used to love family reunions. But in the last decade my aunt, grandpa, grandma, stepdad, and uncle have all died. And now our reunions are broken, and we just wait for the next funeral.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          Wait a minute, Silva is from a big Catholic family in MA that likes to drink and crash cars. This sounds familiar…

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 29
      NotMyName permalink

      Too late, I already thought about it. Thanks.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 29
      Kae permalink

      I like my family. Well, I like my mom’s family. My dad’s family…well, I like his cousins (really, they’re kind and delightful and did time in the Peace Corps.) His brother live-in ex-wife (don’t ask, I don’t know) and half MY cousins, I could live without. They’ve made infighting and inbreeding into art forms of biblical proportions. In direct reverse of everybody else here, my religious relatives are the free-wheeling, irreverent, kookie, fun, nut-job ones who draw together for everything from baby showers to burials. They’ve made baptism-by-mad-tea-party-conversation a rite of passage for anyone daft enough to want to marry into our family. It’s my proud-of-not-being-beholden-to-any-god side of the family that’s quite capable of sucking your intestines out through a straw for the sake of a five dollar piece of Depression glass and then ignoring you until the next inheritance rolls around. Though I do have to say that one of my fondest high school memories is my aunt and uncle’s anniversary party, where my cousin got thoroughly plowed on pink squirrel and made sexual advances on my Peace-Corps-in-Africa, senior-librarian, raises-sheep-for-fun cousin-once-removed…it was, like so many memories from that side of my family, straight out of a David Mamet play.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29
        Kae permalink

        And that should say “his brother and his live-in ex-wife”. But I get a little fervent as I type, because I start feeling all Jerry-Springery. Especially since…well, the guy that my aunt left my uncle for lives with them, too. In a mobile home. Ayep.

        Adores: 9
      • 2010 October 29
        christina permalink

        My family is huge, but only one side has reunions and I have yet to go to one as an adult. Apparently, though, my sister’s best friend has been my stand in for every Christmas Eve party for the last 15 or so years. My mother is convinced that no one would know who I was if I showed up, seeing as my sister’s friend is a foot shorter than me, and aside from similarly endowed shoulder knees, looks nothing like me.

        Adores: 3
  12. 2010 October 29
    Mindfield permalink

    George loved weeds. Well, he didn’t love them, but he loved killing them with his hands. No sissy herbicides for him; those took a while to work and weren’t at all satisfying to watch. Yanking them bodily from the ground, knowing that in that instant they were immediately cut off from life support and were, at that very moment, beginning the process of dying, was what really satisfied him. In short, George hated weeds.

    So it was when he saw this Maria person’s ad on Craigslist to come pull her weeds — and once he was satisfied that this wasn’t a euphemism — he couldn’t resist. Big, tall weeds all ripe for the plucking. George rubbed his hands together with quivering glee. It wasn’t often he got to tackle an overgrown yard; living in a gated community, his HOA wouldn’t let him grow his out, so he spent his time waiting for his own weeds to grow to the level of his association-mandated manicured lawn just so he could pull them before they became noticeable. It was enough to get him by, but there was no struggle, no wrestling with the accursed plants, and thus little satisfaction. He hoped Maria wasn’t over-selling the condition of her landscape just to generate interest.

    George hopped in his beat-up old Pacer — not that there was any other kind — and spent several minutes trying to get the engine to turn over. When it finally kicked in he backed out of his driveway and headed straight over to the weed lady’s house which, as luck would have it, was only ten minutes away. He idly noted as he made his way out of his immediate neighbourhood that everybody’s lawn looked perfect, maddeningly perfect. This was in large part because he’d sneak out at night and pull other people’s weeds wherever he found them, but still. He longed for someone, anyone, to buck HOA landscaping regulations just long enough to grow some lovely weeds so he could rush in and save the day. That never happened. It pissed him off.

    He pulled up alongside the prescribed address and gazed at Maria’s front yard. It was incredible — no, beyond incredible. It was Utopian. Clearly Maria didn’t live in a gated community. No HOA would ever have allowed a yard to become a jungle, and this was the Amazon of yards. Weeds almost as tall as the house, some with stems thick enough stop a speeding car dead in its tracks. Carpets of crabgrass, thickets of Queen Ann’s Lace, dandelions, goldenrod, ragweed, kudzu, burdock, thistles, milkweed — a botanical garden of weeds, some of which he didn’t even recognize, and some that he did but he could have sworn weren’t native to this part of the world.

    Not that it mattered. They were all weeds, and they were all his to exterminate with extreme prejudice. And this was only the front yard! George quivered with unbridled ecstasy. He glanced over at the house — what he could see of the house through brief breaks in the foliage — with a quick thought toward informing Maria of the carnage he was about to engage in, but the window was dark, and she did say no appointment was necessary, after all.

    George grabbed his protective overalls and gardening gloves from the back seat, got out of the car, and suited up, pulling on each glove with a smart tug as if cocking a gun. He looked askance at the forest of pestilence, shooting it an evil eye, giving it notice that it was not long for this world at all, because George the Human Weed Whacker was on the job, and he was the absolute bane to anything that dared produce chlorophyll and wasn’t made primarily of wood.

    With a deep, cleansing breath released in a primal scream that made every moose in the vicinity mourn another loss of their brethren, George plunged headlong into the prickly copse. He was surrounded by weeds of all types, right where he wanted to be, in the middle of the action. With wild abandon, he grabbed weed after weed, first in front of him, then behind, then to a side with no particular order in mind, tugging, pulling, wrestling until it came straight out of the ground, where he would toss it clear out of the patch as far as he could so he could see his way clear to the next one.

    One by one, he came at them hard and fast, grappling low on the stem and straightening his legs with a snap; most came clean out of the ground, but some required more effort, he had to wiggle them out, push at their stems with his feet, brace himself against a wall or another thick plant stem before he overcame their stubborn grip and, with a glorious snapping noise, extricated them from Mother Earth and flung them out of the patch. This was heaven. He could do this all day and never tire of it.

    George turned around to attack some at the other end of the clearing he was slowly making and was confronted with a tall thistle he somehow missed. Excellent! Missed weeds were like unexpected gifts. He yanked, and it came free with unusual ease, so he tossed it like all the rest. He continued to walk over to the end of his growing clearing and yanked two more milkweeds gleefully, then turned around again — to find a wispy Queen Ann’s Lace where he thought he had cleared. Great! It too came free like nothing and he tossed it aside; he made a right and began working on the side facing the sidewalk before turning back and–

    More weeds he thought he had cleared. Another thistle, another milkweed, and some goldenrod. Granted, he was having more fun than he had ever had, but he really thought he’d cleared that path. But why look a gift weed in the mouth? They too were tossed aside with ease as he continued on, now toward the driveway.

    There was a rustling behind him. The wind had picked up so that wasn’t unusual but he looked anyway — and saw what now constituted a thicket of weeds in an area that he knew he had cleared. This was becoming very strange. Perhaps … perhaps this was some sort of magical weed garden where the weeds just grew and grew, and when one died another one immediately took its place. Oh, what a heavenly place that would be! But, no. That just wasn’t possible. George may be fanatical and a bit eccentric, but he was a realist. Still, there was something going on here, and–

    That’s when he noticed. These weeds weren’t rooted. That’s why they came out so easily — they were standing on their roots! He knew he had picked them already! But, wait… George thought with growing trepidation. If they’re not rooted, they must have gotten there … by themselves. They’ve … they’ve come back. That means…

    Their spindly tendrils started to advance toward him. He spun around only to be facing more plants he knew he had already killed. Wild-eyed, George made a three-sixty, but on all sides they came, slowly advancing, leafy appendages reaching out for him, flowery crowns — those that had them — appearing to take on an angry mien. This couldn’t be, this just couldn’t be. It was impossible. He killed them. He killed them! The plants closed a tight ring around him and reached toward George’s horror-stricken face.

    In a nearby forest, just off a quiet highway, a grazing moose raised its head at a sudden, piercing noise and thought to itself, “Goddamn hunters. I hope that wasn’t anyone I knew.”

    Adores: 20
    • 2010 October 29
      LimeLolly permalink

      Yeah.. I’m never going outside again!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 29
        mudslicker permalink

        Oh, kitten britches how I’ve missed you!

        *pinching those cute kitty cheeks*

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          LimeLolly permalink

          It’s in honor of National Cat Day. 😉

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          I figured that out. Perhaps I need to change my avatar.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 29
      mudslicker permalink

      “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”

      Rest in Reese’s Peeses.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29
        Mindfield permalink

        Oh wow, I’d totally forgotten about that one. Creepshow was awesome.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          That bit was my favorite part. The rest of the movie was so-so.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Mindfield permalink

          I think that was the best one because Stephen King played Jordy. There was something kind of poetic about him being consumed by his own short story. Plus, he plays a dumb guy really well; he reminded me of that hick in The Stuff whose first instinct upon finding a strange puddle of white goop in the ground was to shove his fingers in and take a good ol’ mouthful.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          My favorite vinaigrette* in Creepshow was “The Crate”.

          “Just tell it to call you Billie!

          *besides balsamic 😉

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 29
      Lola permalink

      *Throws a haunted door at MF*

      And that, boys and girls, is why I don’t miss having a yard!

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 29

      Because regular weeds weren’t bad enough… zombie weeds.

      And George, if he wasn’t on his way to zombiedom himself, would find my one of my neighbor’s yard to be heaven…. the guy hasn’t mowed his lawn in 4 years and there are trees growing out of his gutters. He has no plans to do anything. Before it got as bad as it did, we offered to do some yardwork for a small fee… he turned it down.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 29

        Thoswe aren’t zombie weeds. If you you played any Pokemon, you would recognize them as a herd of Bellsprout. Probably some Oddish in there too.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          What happened to Bulbasaur?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          It makes a really good salad.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          NotMyName permalink

          Those aren’t zombie weeds. If you you played any Pokemon, you would recognize them as a herd of Bellsprout. Probably some Oddish in there too.

          Zombie Pokemon is now the new band name of forever.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 29
        Mindfield permalink

        Spiders. The answer is spiders. Hundreds of them. It won’t be long before he either breaks out the flamethrower or is captured and stored in a web. Either way, problem solved.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 29
        sarajean80 permalink

        You neighbor’s house sounds a bit like my parents’ place, Silva. The “flower beds” in front of the porch have not been touched in at least five years, there are trees and honeysuckle and who-knows-what growing up to meet the plants growing out of the gutters (that have not been cleaned out in at least five years, probably longer). In the summer time when everything’s green and growing you can’t even tell there’s a porch. It’s possible they might do something about it soon, there’s stuff starting to grow through the floor of the porch, but then again the azaleas that came with the house have been growing through the porch railing for the past few years and no one’s done anything about that yet.

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 29

      Are you getting ready for Monday or something there Mindfield?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29
        Mindfield permalink

        Practice? For NaNoWriMo? Isn’t that against the rules? 🙂

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29

          I think it’s only against the rules if you’re actually practicing on what you intend to write. I think freeform practice (as above) is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t get caught… which you have.

          And to be entirely fair, I’ve already got my first paragraph written in my head for my project.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 29

      Simply inspired, freakishly-smiley puppy dog.

      Simply. Inspired. 🙂

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 29
        Mindfield permalink

        What can I say? I am an inspired freak. 😀

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 29
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Mindfield are Zombies part of the sequel? I can’t wait for the next installment. I think that George comes back.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 29
        Mindfield permalink

        Well you’ll just have to wait until the next epic yardwork installment to find out!

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 29

        For some reason I suddenly want to play Plants Vs. Zombies. No idea why.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          LimeLolly permalink

          Be careful of those bungee jumping zombies.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 29
      Moira permalink

      I want George to come to my house. I pay to have the front and side yards taken care of but George would have a BALL in my back yard. (I think I had mentioned that a guy wanted for burglary tried to hide in my back yard last year… Between the automatic light and the state of my back yard, I felt really sorry for him…)

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 29
        Mindfield permalink

        I think George would have loved that, but I’m afraid he’s a little … tied up right now. Potted, even.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 29
      CapnMac permalink

      Wait, those aren’t weeds, those are TRIFFIDS! Run!

      Adores: 2
  13. 2010 October 29

    Well you’re in good (or bad) company, as I have the same problem. Remember math equations from my school days? Nah. Lame jokes and odd rhymes taught to me as a child as well as random song lyrics? Yup. Any useful information is shoved out of my brain by things like “Moses supposes his toeses are roses”

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 October 29
      Camille permalink

      For me, it’s jingles from commercials that I haven’t seen for 40 years. If I could clear out some of that space, I’d have room to learn something useful.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 October 29

        Tootsie is a chocolaty chew, Tootsie roll I think I’m in love with you, whatever it is I think I see becomes a Tootsie roll to me…

        I don’t think that’s aired since the 80’s. Still have it memorized.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29

          Too funny…last night I was singing the “Beefaroni” song from the…60’s?….to my grandson.

          He still wouldn’t eat the beefaroni though.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          CJ, I love the Spaghetti and Meatballs song: Ding Dong, the bell calls, Spaghetti and Meatballs, For you and for me, from Chef Boy-R-Dee! Rather pretty little jingle.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          FAMELE Q. CHICKEN permalink

          I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          I want my
          Babyback
          Babyback
          Babyback
          I want my
          Babyback
          Babyback
          Babyback
          Chili’s … Babyback … ribs ….
          barbecue sauce

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 29
        mudslicker permalink

        I never had a problem remembering the Polaroid Swinger commercial…. and the theme song from Diver Dan.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 30
          Bombdude permalink

          Did you ever have any problems remembering any swinger commercial?

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29
        Lola permalink

        I’d love to clear out those Duran Duran lyrics from junior high. Then I might know how to find my keys and not look like an ass when asked my date’s name by my friends. *awkward*

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 29

          Just call him “Rio”*

          *I actually knew a guy named Rio

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29
        Stephanae permalink

        I’m with you, Camille. Jokes don’t stick with me at all, but this jingle will never leave me:

        My baloney has a first name.
        It’s O-S-C-A-R.
        My baloney has a second name.
        It’s M-A-Y-E-R.
        Oh, I love to eat it every day.
        And if you ask me why I’ll say,
        “‘Cause Oscar Mayer has a way
        with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.”

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29

          “Hot Dogs, ARMOUR Hot Dogs!
          What kinds of kids eat Armour hot dogs?
          Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks;
          Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox,
          Love hot dogs, ARMOUR hot dogs!
          The….Dogs…Kids….Love….To….Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite!”

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          My favorite parody of that Oscar Mayer song just changes the last lines to:

          ‘Cause Oscar Mayer has a way
          of rearranging DNA.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 29
          Meej permalink

          What rolls down stairs,
          Alone or in pairs,
          Runs over your neighbor’s dog?

          It’s great for a snack,
          It fits on your back,
          It’s Log, Log, Log!

          It’s Log, It’s Log, It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood.
          It’s Log, It’s Log, It’s better than bad, it’s good!

          (Sure, it’s not a real jingle, but darn if it ain’t catchy.)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          SpaceBug permalink

          Plunk. Plunk.
          Whiz. Whiz.
          Oh, what a relief it is.

          What? The corner you say?
          OH… k…
          ::grumble:mumble:momthoughtitwasfunny:mumble:grumble::

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 29
        Bombdude permalink

        You know, I have that same problem, so when I needed to remember/memorize something really important (such as the chemical composition of some explosive, or the proper steps for disarming a certain device in bomb tech school), I would come up with a mnemonic that resembled a commercial jingle (usually with raunchy sexual connotations and food references to make it more easily remembered by a male) and voila! rote memorization made easy.

        Now if I could only remember which mnemonic goes with which process…

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Even more fun when the Bundeswehr types start belting them out as bier drinking songks, and the rest of the bierhaus goes a tad quiet as the lyrics are just that kleine bit off . . .

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 29
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Silvia — I have the exact opposite problem. I can’t remember how to tell a good joke correctly. However, if you want to know any of the theorems from Geometry or proofs of Analysis of Algorithms, I’m your person. My kids give me a hard time, telling me the same joke every few days — I kinda remember the joke, just not the punch line. This provides them with hours of amusement.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29

        Artsy- Want to trade brains?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Silva – Maybe we could switch every couple of days. That could balance both of us out. I wonder if we would change drawing styles also. I’ve never been able to do characterizations like you do, that would be so cool – even for a couple of days.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29
        mudslicker permalink

        I LOVE* people who can’t remember the punch line!!!

        Hehe

        *having half a joke stuck in my head all day always makes me sleep better

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          That would be me, Mudsy. You can tell me the same joke every day for a week before I can remember the punchline. I laugh every time, but I will never learn the joke to re-tell to someone else. I remember exactly one joke, and it is about the Mars Polar Lander, which means it was topical for about 2 minutes several years ago. To nerds.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Tank — can we blame our black cats for out inability to remember a joke?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          Sure, Artsy. We can do that. Until someone reminds me that my problem started long before either of my black cats was born. And then we’ll have to think of something else to blame it on.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2010 October 29

    “How do you solve a weeding problem for Maria?
    How do you yank them out and pin them down?
    How do you solve a weeding problem for Maria?
    A Garden Weasel! A pull and a twist! It’s down!”

    ***Abject groveling before the shades of Rodgers and Hammerstein***

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 October 29

      Completely appropriate as it’s the 45th anniversary of The Sound of Music film…

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29
        mudslicker permalink

        I caught the end of that on Oprah yesterday. For some reason, some of those kids are looking older than Julie Andrews now.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          some reason = plastic (probably)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          Oh Lola, you’re such a Pessy Mist.

          🙂

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          Were they the kid actors from the movie, or the real Von Trapp family? Cause the real kids would be, let’s see, carry the seven, more kibble, ah, they’d be dead by now.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 30
          Moira permalink

          Actors.
          Of the real kids, Uncle Wiki says two from the captain’s first wife are still alive and the three he had with Maria are still living.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29
        SpaceBug permalink

        Teardrops of laughter and avvies of kittehs
        Bright shiny thingies and all YouSac meme’s
        Brown paper packages plain as can be
        Arrive every week in the mail for me

        Babbys in worm quilts and hooves are bedazzled
        So much bad grammer, on reading I’m frazzled
        Ads by our Sparkies and asshats galore
        These are the things I can really adore.

        Minty prom dresses and fine fider warches
        Tables we’d not let pollute all our porches
        Silver tongued snarking that lasts all the day
        These are the things that make one just say

        When the zomb bites
        When the bee stings
        When I’m feeling sad
        I simply remember my favorite things
        And then I don’t feel so bad

        ‘Tis the season of unicorn induced skittles.

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Hi mom!

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 29
      Moira permalink

      Love that film. And portions of it make SO much more sense when they aren’t edited (that gazebo scene, for instance)…

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 29

      Maria . . .

      The most weeds ever seen in a yard:
      Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria . . .
      All the woeful sounds of the neighbors upon seeing her mess.
      Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria . . .
      Maria!
      I’ve just weeded a yard for Maria,
      And suddenly that name
      Will always mean shame
      To me.
      Maria!
      I’ve just pulled some crabgrass for Maria,
      And suddenly I’ve found
      How weedy a ground
      Can be!
      Maria!
      Say it loud and there’s head games playin,
      Say it soft and it’s almost like braying.

      Maria,
      I’ll never stop hating Maria!

      The most weeds ever seen in a yard.
      Maria.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 October 29
        Stephanae permalink

        I must say, the Snark Lounge soundtrack has been a bit disconcerting today. Blondie, Duran Duran, The Sound of Music, West Side Story, and commercial jingles. (Schoolhouse Rock and Van Halen were introduced but refused to sing for us.)

        Of course, I can only add to the disjointedness since I can’t think of Leonard Bernstein without Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce, and Lester Bangs. (Don’t worry—I feel fine!)

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 30
          Moira permalink

          A man and a woman had a little baby
          There were three
          In the weed-picking family
          That’s a magic number…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 30
          Stephanae permalink

          Ah, thank you, Moira. That makes the day truly complete.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 30
          NotMyName permalink

          I could make things even more diverse by typing out the lyrics to an A7X song, or Three Days Grace. I’m not going to, but I could.

          Adores: 1
  15. 2010 October 29
    Bavec permalink

    “WE HAVE BEAUTIFUL LONG GROWING WEEDS WE WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF PICKING OUR WEEDS!”
    If this is in any way related to quiet shirt time, count me out

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 October 29

      I’m giving you an adore for what you did with your icon. *is in a fit of giggles*

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 October 29
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Love the avatar!!!!!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          Totally. Making a good avatar even better.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 29

      In Soviet Russia, weed pick YOU!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 29
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Is that like “we’d pick you” or “weeds pick you”? Could be both.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          mudslicker permalink

          …especially with Taco writing it.

          😉

          Adores: 4
  16. 2010 October 29
    Stephanae permalink

    Taco’s best typo ever contest.

    Manda has nominated

    T-shit

    I submit

    scrapped off the floor of the most popular prostitute

    Any other nominations?

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 29

      I’m still rather proud of

      Descovered

      and the definition thereof:

      To take something established and strike it from all known records. To un-discover. 2: To hinder the discoveries of others.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29

        It also goes without saying that after you descover something it has to be rescovered.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          Camille permalink

          I saw someone signed in elsewhere on the internet today as “Tacomagirl,” and for a split second thought it might be Mrs. Taco.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          So far as I know TacoMa’am’s handle is Indy418, as it has been since I’ve known her.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 29

        I loved Descover. I’m still going to make it into a legal term.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          Brigete, Esq., I’m pretty sure descovery was invented and perfected LONG ago in the litigation biz. See Washington State Physicians Ins. Exch. & Ass’n v. Fisons Corp., 858 P.2d 1054 (Wash. 1993), or google “Bogle & Gates discovery violations”. That case took down one of Seattle’s largest law firms based on sanctions for descovering the smoking gun document.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          Yes, but as “descover” is not a word (yet), I intend to introduce it into the legal terminology as THE term for trying to conceal discoverable documents. 😉

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 31
          Tankerbell permalink

          Most excellent. I will back you in that from here in the upper left-hand corner.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 October 29

      I gotta say I’m pretty sure I cracked a rib laughing over the “scrapped” comment….

      *fits of giggles ensue*

      Oh…whew…good times…

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 October 29

      Am I gonna have to change my name to TypoMagic?

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 October 29
        Bombdude permalink

        Dude!!! Ultimate insight and wisdom doors to you!

        Adores: 3
  17. 2010 October 29
    Stephanae permalink

    Oh my gosh! I’m in the box.

    *performs happy dance*

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 29
      sarajean80 permalink

      And you have a kitty for National Cat Day!

      :squints at avatar:

      Yours is apparently a transdimensional breed.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 29
        Lola permalink

        Apologies, SJ, for not including you in the comment with Bridgete that you are both ready for NCD all the time. (I was distracted by da black kitteh! yesh, I was! oh, da little face! (“Little Face” is my cat’s nickname now, to the point of being greeted with “Hey, Little Face” when he meets me at the door.)) Yours may not be black, but her expression is what I love: “What.” (Not a question.)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Windrose permalink

          Cat Nicknames: Rani is Fuzzbutticus, QB of the Universe, and Rain-amuck.

          Zephyr is Zap, Zeferelli, and Zephyr! No-no!

          Ceo, may she rest in fields of cat nip and snackies and stuff, was Keyotee, and World’s dirtiest white cat.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          Is this better, Lola?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          Or this?

          Now all three of my babies can celebrate National Cat Day!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          That’s fine, Firefly is mostly black so she does tend to disappear in a dark room. Very useful for ambush attacks from the hall bathroom, her favorite place in the house. (In addition to being called Psycho-Twitch and Owww,Dammit! Firefly is also known as Sinkdrink. She will wait in front of a sink, usually the bathroom or kitchen, until someone turns it on a trickle, picks her up, flips her on her back so she’s upside down, and sticks her head under the faucet so she can get a drink.)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          Our Zeus is about 13 and he has severe asthma. We have to give him an inhaler twice a day but it totally works, so it’s worth it. I think that his inhalers are why he is really, really skinny. He’s also going bald on his ears. And he has no use for anyone but Mr. Tank. He feels the need to smack Satsop on the head at any opportunity, just on general principle. So he’s like this skinny, cranky old guy that lives at our house.

          When a certain president (who shall remain nameless in the name of not offending anyone) was elected, our house seceded from the Union, and we elected Zeus our leader. It also happened that the Catholic Church was electing a new pope around that time, so we called our leader the Pope. We named our country Zeusatopia. We still say “Habemus Papam” to him all the time, because he is the Pope of Zeusatopia. We are strange, but harmless.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          sarajean80 permalink

          Is your Zeus the ginger one at the top of your avatar pic? My mom’s ginger Nikki has asthma (not inhaler-bad but you can hear her breathing across the room sometimes) and I was wondering if it was a ginger thing.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 29
          Tankerbell's Cat permalink

          Is your Zeus the ginger one at the top of your avatar pic? My mom’s ginger Nikki has asthma (not inhaler-bad but you can hear her breathing across the room sometimes) and I was wondering if it was a ginger thing.

          No, SJ, the ginger cat in the picture is Satsop. The only ginger attributes he has are being fat and purring so loud it shakes the bed.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29
          Lola permalink

          Each of them, SJ, is cool in their own way and seem to somehow add to your comments, depending on which one and their facial expression.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 29

          Hmm…Severus’s nicknames are more just terms of endearment. I call him “love” a lot. He does have a middle name, however (Bartholomew), so when he’s in trouble, he gets the full name treatment. Even Mr. Brazil uses the middle name.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 29
        Stephanae permalink

        Yours is apparently a transdimensional breed.

        Ah, yes, her name was Moonlight and she had a way of materializing suddenly in my daughter’s arms.* Then one day, she dematerialized out of our lives and never came back. This is the only picture I have of her, but at least I caught her trick.

        *This is probably not true.

        Adores: 3
  18. 2010 October 29
    Addicted Reader permalink

    There’s a lot of weird about this ad, but for me, the weirdest part is the expression “picking weeds.” As pointed out above, I think it’s usually “pulling” weeds. I can’t really get past that to deal w/ the rest of it.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 29
      Lola permalink

      Maybe she was confused/wanting to confuse it with “picking flowers” so that it had a more-pleasant, less work-like situation.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 29
      Stephanae permalink

      ’Round here, we just call it “weedin’.” I dunno why all you folks in other parts want to go complicatin’ things by pickin’ and pullin’.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 29
        christina permalink

        I thought the pickin’ and pullin’ was what the N/SC crowd does to animal flesh after they slather, rub and char it.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 30
          Bombdude permalink

          after they slather, rub and char it

          Woah!! Don’t forget we have minors here…

          Adores: 3
  19. 2010 October 29
    SpaceBug permalink

    PLEASE HELP.
    I’ve just bought a house and the basement is fully overrun with weeds.
    They’re so thick, I can’t get to the garden below.
    Some neighbors offered to help, pulled some out and then wouldn’t come back for days (talk about lazy).
    I’m growing tired of pulling and still can’t find any good veggies in the patch.
    I’ve since tried using the burn barrel out back and they do have an intoxicating smell…
    sniff
    Dudes, ya know wha’, ne’mind…

    pass me that guitar, …oh, and those cheetos

    Adores: 11
  20. 2010 October 29
    sarajean80 permalink

    Looking over all the cat avatars that showed up to celebrate National Cat Day, I can’t help but notice that there are a lot of black cats. Is that just because of Halloween or does everyone just have black cats?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 29
      Lola permalink

      As a black cat* owner, I was noticing that, too. I think they are actually representative of YSACers feline overlords. Not sure what to think about this, other than we might have been considered witches by mid evil people.

      *Has a spot of white at throat,** but is otherwise black.

      **And a spot “down there,” but we don’t really talk about that and you don’t see it unless weather warrants stomach bearing and airing.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 29

        I have two black cats, Shag (Named because he lays around like a rug all day) and Bug (Named because she pesters me all the time, especially when the kibble dish is low)
        Both of them also make sure all the dogs have clean ears.
        They are litter mates and I rescued them from a barn, they didn’t really want to be rescued at the time and I have the scars to prove it!

        Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 29
      christina permalink

      All five of the cats that found me were black; Hamlet, Othello, Persephone, Yoru and Hieronymus (oh yes, I am sooo clever). I used this as proof to my mother that being a witch was my true calling.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 29

      I only have my one black cat. Although the two cats I grew up with were tuxedos.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 30

        Had three. Antichrist, Gata, and Buddy. Antichrist went to the pound, courtesy of the Harpy, after he wouldn’t stop marking in the house, Gata was given away after she gave birth to Buddy, and Buddy, whose face was stuck in a perma-grin after a bout with a possum he was trying to get some lovin’ from* ripped open the left side of his face, took off for parts unknown when we were getting ready to leave Maine.

        *Gods and Goddesses as my witness.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 30
      Stephanae permalink

      I had a beautiful tuxedo named Starburst once, and I’ve had a couple of gray or gray tabby cats, but the majority of my kitties have been calicos. I refuse to relinquish my witch card just because I’ve never had a black cat, though.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 30
      Moira permalink

      My Willow is the prettiest gray tortoishell ever but I am too lazy to go find a pic of her. She’s in my FB albums, though.

      Adores: 2
  21. 2010 October 29

    Wow, if you chop the first sentence short, it actually hiakus pretty well:


    WE HAVE BEAUTIFUL
    LONG GROWING WEEDS WE WOULD LOVE
    FOR YOU TO ENJOY

    *Snaps fingers*

    Adores: 7
  22. 2010 October 30
    Windrose permalink

    Stephanae, here’s your card and your first Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Meridian Bay!

    Adores: 2
  23. 2010 October 30
    CapnMac permalink

    *click* <sigh>

    Well, yes, it’s 0700 CDT, I know better, just had to, since I was up, and will be gone before the updata. And back probably well after 1700, too.

    Adores: 0

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