YSaC, Vol. 949: This post is long overdue.
So, a while back I was invited to participate in a fabulous podcast called It’s on Craigslist, where the two regular hosts, Tycho and Zoey, surf Craigslist personal ads in real time while recording themselves, see what they find and riff on it. Here’s the episode I was involved in — which actually posted back in December! (For a variety of reasons, most of which involve me being a complete slacker, but at least a few of which involve ocelots, I’m just getting around to posting it now.) (For those of you currently at work: duh, audio file alert.)
It was a great time, and they’ve asked me to do it again, which I plan to do as things settle down for me a bit. Thanks, Tycho and Zoey!
Anyway, I thought I would share with you one of the gems that I found as we were gallavanting and galumphing through the personals …
all yal are free ok – 39
all pussy cats are free ok you just no what to say an it aient much to get what you got ,an to some i doint even want it ill just do it myself because your just to FAT or no i can deal with all except FAT FAT FAT no fattyes for me no fat fat fat ok
For best effect, read this at the top of your lungs.* I did that in the podcast, and it was extremely cathartic.
*Note: this will almost definitely get you fired.
I suppose it’s too much to expect that if someone is using nonstandard English that they are in fact going to spell “ain’t” correctly …
That said, I can’t wait to listen to this. Hearing the Llama-Nun read it at the top of her lungs is probably going to be the high point of my day! No, really.
And if this guy is so great, why is he telling the fat girls he’s not interested … on CL? If you’re really all that, you’ll have more need to tell them in person, Don Giovanni!
I wonder if she lets out a few SPICE CHRISTS as well? That’s super-fun to shout at the top of your lungs.
This was written by a ‘Tom Jones wanna-be”.
What’s new pussy cat? Don’t be fat.
I keep seeing Steve Martin, dressed in an awful tuxedo, singing this song while standing in front of a mirror.
Is it a powder blue one? ‘Cause that’s what I’m picturing.
Yep…we’re thinking the same thing…
Scary, eh?
Powder blue, with a ruffled shirtfront. Yes.
Steve Martin? Really?
I’m kind of picturing Adam Sandler as Opera Man on SNL singing this.
mudsy…if you haven’t already, get thee to a video store and rent the re-make of “Father of the Bride” starring Steve Martin and Diane Keaton….oh and Martin Short in a screamingly hilarious turn as the wedding planner.
He’s even funnier in the sequel.
Oh…that movie. I don’t think I ever saw that movie all the way through. Is it anything like the Fockers?
I’ve never seen any of the Fockers movies so I couldn’t say.
No, IMO….much funnier…
Carlton Banks of The Fresh Prince
So, if I were to extrapolate this poster’s logic and apply it to previous CL posts….
…I can come to no other conclusion than cats are out there giving away free stuff…
Tables – but only the red ones.
Used couches – properly “seasoned”.
Misjays – I have no idea.
Much more, to many too list.
I got either too much sleep or not enough sleep to be able to understand it.
When in doubt, back to sleep.
See y’all later.
AR — I’m right there with you!!! (not literally)
Sadly, I understood it.
I like “doint”; it sounds very … bouncy.
Doint.
Doint.
Doint-doint-doint-doint-doint.
*watches SJ doint on the contemporarian sofa*
It’s a phooton.
I’m sure we’ve covered this territory before, but “phooton” just sounds like the name of one of those airy SBDs…
I think we should put it on a t-shirt:
Doint! WINNING!
Make ’em wonder.
I have Not.A.Lion. blood and Clothespin Jeebus DNA!
Perfect for the back!
None of your fat are belong to Sparky.
P.S. From my experience with personal ads way back when, I’m betting that Sparky is a little hefty.
But without the “little” part.
And definitely not in the right places.
:sigh:
It never is.
Plus, if they are a little hefty, and a lot little, the heft causes an optical illusion that makes the little look littler.
That makes sense, right?
I’ll get me coat.
It’s like the normal-sized portion that looks small in an oversized bowl.
Not, uh, that I have this problem or anything. Except this weekend when I ate at a restaurant and had a kind of shepherd’s pie that they served in a gigantic bowl.
*goes in search of the brain bleach*
:passes CJ brain bleach:
You can have some of mine, I super-sized it.
::joins sj and CJ in the brainbleach shower::
I mean…
Gotta go.
:gets video camera:
Like you’ve never seen three girls openly weeping in a shower of boiling cleaning fluid before. This is the internet.
This was in the rants & raves section? That’s a higher level of crazy right there.
What in the blue fuck was that?
Nothing, Corey, just one of the cats got loose (again) and was posting on CL.
Go back to sleep…’s okay.
That explains a lot
I doint think it was blue. Probably a grungy taupe or something.
You guys are funny. I heard you might want to click my name to make sure it’s real. Sorry to do it, but it’s kinda funny today.
Oh yeah? Well I heard that unicorns shit real gold. You’ll let me know if that’s real, wontcha?
Sorry Corey, it’s blocked from work. Makes me curious what you’ve written that the ‘guards’ think it’s not work-appropriate, though.
They do. I have one in my back yard. The only problem is that the unicorn is the worse pillow fighter, so I have a bit of a problem with him shitting in my yard. Who wants wussy pillow fighting unicorns defecating on their property? Not me.
Hmm. There’s some subtle innuendo, but nothing too depraved and certainly nothing vulgar 🙂 Seriously. I don’t do vulgar. Much.
Ah, you know what Lime? I embedded a Tina Turner video. Must be it. And I’m being serious.
I got some mixed messages in there. No fatt yes. no fat. Fat. Fat ok.
Fat is one of those words for me that if I type it over and over, it looses all meaning and just becomes silly-looking. Fat fat fat fat fat fat…. hehehe. I need to get more sleep.
Sounds awfully sino-phobic. After all, Sun Yung is a quite credible actor, and has a reputation for philanthropy.
Now, that Jung-Il fellow is said to be demanding on set–but it is wrong to hate him for being Chinese since he’s Korean and all.
Perhaps Spark’ has pulled and “Elaine” and has upset the good take-away place.
I can really relate to the NO FAT FAT FAT rule.
Frankly I find a 4 gigabyte file size way too limiting. NTFS or EXT4 for me baby! You FAT people can just stay away and keep your small file allocation size!
I was using NTFS back when it was HPFS, and way before it was cool.
[/hipsternerd]
I’m glad that I’m not the only computer geek around here
I was just thinking the same thing…
::feels left out of the joke::
FAT = File Allocation Table. Basically, your operating system creates this on your hard drive when you format it and uses it as a kind of table of contents to tell it where all your stuff is. NTFS, HFS, EXT4 and such are just different (generally better) variants of the same thing.
Her eyes probably glazed over at File Alloc…. **Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Then we’ll just go with: File Allocation Table is sale.
Thanks for the explanation, ESP (Eerily-Smiling Puppy). I’m enough of a nerd to understand the explanation (and enjoy learning something new), I just don’t have much geekery in computers. Biology, on the other hand…
Take it for free?
A virus walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
The virus says, “Well, you’re not a very good host,” and leaves.
Should that first line not read
“So a virus replicates into re-sequencing establishment”?
In my day, you young whippersnappers, we had to boot DOS from one 36ok floppy and then run WordStar from another. Oh, and get off of my lawn!
Pssh. DOS. I booted to BASIC and had to load DOS separately off a 120k 5.25″floppy disk! And that was only after I bought a disk drive, because before that I loaded things off cassette!
Get your lawn off my lawn!
Psssht, BAISC? We had manual typewriters in my days. Took you most of a month to get a command line up on those things, and even when you did get it to post your keys would jam together and you’d have to dig it all apart with a butter knife.
Plus the paper feed would stop and if you weren’t looking you’d end up with 4 pages of text all in the space of 1 character.
Get you lawn carryin’ lawn off my lawn! *Shakes cane*
Let me guess—You coded in BASIC back when it was called BAISC? 😀
You know you’ve been reading TM’s posts a long time when your brain automagically fixes his typos and you don’t even notice them anymore…
smacks head to reset calibration
Now you’re reading my posts like I do!
My dad had to spend time with glass-blowers to learn to make vaccuum casings as part of his computer science degree.
:hands Dave official Shaking Cane, gives the ferret a bent swizzle stick:
Hehe…Wordstar. I just fell off my XyWrite stool into my amber screen….
You mean someone else used Xywrite? I was sure that it was something some friend of my boss’s (in 1994) made up and sold to him as a joke. Fortunately, we leapt into the late ’80s the next year with some Macs that actually used Quark.
Bwahahah. Went from WordStar 5.5 for WordPerfect 6 (and before Corel, too).
Expressed in cat math:
Free pussy cats times FAT FAT FAT equals (marshmallow fluff plus sardines) squared, over a really large tuna sammich.
Don’t forge to carry the anchovies… that part always gets me.
It’s a trap! Those anchovies are imposters!
The anchovy is a lie.
I’d like a “really large tuna sammich” right now.
Jack Sparky could date no fat,
His social life was lean.
So he posted on CL
And there he languished in his own special kind of hell.
As guys who post stuff like this should.
(Did I say that out loud?)
I’m as horny as slow-moving Spaniards
Gored in Pamplona in early July
Though I may fart, know it comes from the heart
‘Cos you’ve found you a wonderful guy
Mostly, I’m a conventional redneck
With the conventions all that would imply
Save for the fact that I can’t stand you fat
If you’re thin, I’m a wonderful guy
Though it’s been said I’m gay as a daisy in May
I swear that it’s not true
I like Nascar and monster truck shows
And drinking Bud Light (it’s my favourite brew)
I’m as horny as Dizzy Gillespie
I’ll eat just about anyone’s pie
But I’ll only date those who manage their weight
I hate fat, I hate fat, I hate fat
Keep the fatties away from this wonderful guy!
Though it’s been said I’m gay as a daisy in May
I swear that it’s not true
I like Nascar and monster truck shows
And drinking Bud Light (it’s my favourite brew)
I’m as horny as Dizzy Gillespie
I’ll eat just about anyone’s pie
But I’ll only date those who manage their weight
I hate fat, I hate fat, I hate fat
I hate fat, I hate fat, fatties suck,
I hate fat, fat fat fat fat fat fat
FAT FAT FAT FAT ok, keep the fatties away from this wonderful guy!
Lola, while you are in the box today, would you show Sister Lyle the special features? Thanks.
*blink blink blink*
I’m in the box? I need to post more when I’m sleep-deprived and uncaffeinated (it doesn’t usually show but I’m the same today and have bags under my eyes that are too big for airline carry on). However, I rather suspect that lightning will not strike twice in a row, unless someone brings in a Tesla coil.
Anyway, SisterLyleTacoNunja, follow me. You see, while this key is marked “Executive Washroom” it is really for the Golden Lotus …
o.O
I don’t think I’ve ever been shown around. Usually when I’m in here, I’m all by myself so I just sit quietly in the corner, trying not to touch anything in case I mess it up.
The labels fell off the self-destruct button and the hot towel dispenser when LL, Hamcan, and I were stuck in there the other day, but I’m pretty sure we got them back on in the right order. Like 99.9% positive.
These are hot, wet towels, correct?
I’ll be in my bunk.
*Repeatedly pressing the hot wet button*
That’s what she said (he should do)!
…I’ll go find a corner…
Puppy wanna belly rub?
*wags*
Okay, so I listened to part of the podcast that our llamanun (BBUH) linked in the post today.
Ummmm….how do I say this, diplomatically? To hell with it, I can’t…so, here goes.
The hosts were…..lame…and annoying….and annoyingly lame…particulalry annoying was the girl’s laugh… And, although I’m sure there’s a large audience out there (hi everyone!) that just loves these two…I did not.
You, drmk, did your best and managed to be both funny and charming. You also sound about like I imagined you would. Good to hear you. 🙂
Zoey was particularly giggley, huh?
EB…you are too kind…she was high-school-girlie-omg-I-can’t-believe-I’m-in-the-presence-of-a-celebrity (the lllamanun, BBUH) giggly.
Pffft. I liked her giggle. It was a nice counterpart to my “sounds-like-Kathleen-Turner-with-laryngitis” vocal quality.
drmk…it wasn’t a bad giggle…at first…but, and maybe it’s just me, a few minutes of that and it was either a) find a suitable object for gouging my eardrums or b) turn off the podcast.
I chose option B.
I’m sure, as I said, they are lovely people and I meant no insult.
I just didn’t find them entertaining.
At.All.
You don’t sound like KT with laryngitis…at least I didn’t think so.
I’m with CJ. If you hadn’t been for you, I would have stopped the podcast after about a minute.
I now know what voice to hear in my head when I read drmk’s postings, and will no longer hear them read by Sigourney Weaver.
I didn’t mind Zoey (possibly because I have an irrational propensity to crush on all girls named Zoe/Zoey) but the guy just seemed… preoccupied? It was a leetle weird. Especially the ‘runs off to find something’ part. Were you all teleconferencing? ‘Cos that confused the h-e-double-bendy-trees out of me.
But I kind of buzzed out hearing Her Llamanunness*’ voice. 🙂 And I like the laugh!
*BBUH
I liked it.
Uhm, I realize I’m older than stone tablets and cuneiform (per at least three last night), but I was under the impression that the stoner community was enthusiastically in favor of fatties in all circumstance, from brownie to blunt.
Unless Spark’ is a “Fred” or some such . . .
If you’ll pardon me, I have to go and nap some flint, that mastodon sinew is tough stuff.
You don’t look a day older than papyrus and hieroglyphics, Cap’n 🙂
There’s a joke in here somewhere. “He’s so old, the last date he had was with carbon.”
This is where we need Grampdaddy to come in and be all “We had to make our own carbon to be carbon based life forms! We had to mix our own DNA with a stick!” (That last line is still a favorite.)
I see you Lola. And that was fine work. Box bound for sure.
Is that a “Wheel of time” reference? Or just a coincidentally similar phrase you like?
I’m hoping it’s not literal, because there are no windows in my office.
But there is a (back)office in your Windows.
Nice shirt, by the way.
ESP, your ESP isn’t that good. I’m wearing a dress. 8)
Well, in my defense you’re sitting down so it’s hard to see below the waist.
Coincidentally similar, originating from the meat head baseball player vernacular, as in “I see you working”, esp. during strong efforts.
Sorta OT, but I have to share….
Like all offices, ours has the one or two people who will take the last bit of coffee from the pot and not only leave a little in the bottom so unattended it turns into this sticky sludge over time, but will never, ever, ever make a fresh pot.
Ever.
So, a friend e-mails me a flowchart on the proper procedure for coffee. The details of the chart are not important, but the outcome – on the bottom of the chart – is if you don’t make coffee when you should you will be thrown to a tiger (clearly illustrated at the bottom of the page), presumably to be eaten.
I thought it was very funny, so I printed it out and taped it to the fridge – next to the coffeemaker.
Not five minutes ago a co-worker (and this person has a doctorate, mind you) came in and asked about the flowchart.
She thought it was really funny.
“Especially,” she said, “the part where if you don’t make coffee you get thrown to a lion!”
The corners of my mouth twitched, uncontrollably, as I tried to stifle the ensuing guffaws.
I was unsuccessful, but all is not lost, the co-worker simply thought I agreed with her assessment.
[/end not.a.lion moment]
Ha! I didn’t pick up on that until the end. That was a good twist/I’m a moron there. Must be nice hanging with PhDs that aren’t teachers. The last one I saw was across the street selling things. His name was Dr. Feelgood. That’s the same, right? Oh, and I played for a guy named Doc Edwards a few years ago. And I saw a sweet tattoo of Doc Brown. “Marty!” I have problems. Sorry.
Corey – in my industry, I work with a lot of PhDs – engineers and the like. Obviously, they don’t get out much.
Ahh. Engineering. I had assumed industry was dead. Got a degree in philosophy and had to learn to play the piano. And sell drugs. But, I’m happy to explain the existential dilemma to my clients.
Well, Corey, you know how when you flip the switch the lights come on?
You’re welcome.
CJ.. you know how you get your electric bill accurately and on time? You’re welcome. lol.
Engineers do that? I love engineers! They make the magic box where cartoons live work!
*pats SJ on the head*
No, honey it’s not engineers…it’s magical fairies and unicorns…and gnomes…just like we always told you it was.
@Lime…yeah..’bout that….reckon you could just stop mine? I mean, really, I do work in the industry….can’t I get something out of it? I mean other than the occasional not.a.lion moment?
:resists urge to take apart TV to look for unicorns:
As an Engineer myself, I get all my technology completely free!* It totally rocks.
*This may not be true.
SJ: The unicorns are injected into that big conical tube thing you’ll find in there. You’ll have to hit it with a hammer.
Newer LCD TVs run on micronized quartz dinosaurs (LCD stands for Little Crystal Dinosaur). They’re hard to see when you take apart the TV, so you’ll need to squint quite a bit.
Plasma TVs, of course, work on donatations from civic minded people.
I remember being taken to the movie theatre for probably the first time to see Snow White (must have been in rerelease?) and, after, trying to get my parents to walk around behind the theatre where I was sure all of the cast would be. Like for plays! I wanted to see backstage!
And yet, I didn’t think that people and the Muppets lived in the TV. Still not sure why I differentiated.
Snow White was one of my first movie theater experiences too!
Mine was Little Mermaid… Hmm, that dates me as a young’un, huh?
Lady and the Tramp here. I’m thinking it was just a random showing at the cheap seats, back before VCRs were everywhere.
Little Mermaid is the first one I remember going to. I only know Snow White was first is because I’ve been told. (Wikipedia tells me I was probably 3 or 4 when I saw it.)
Btw, Ursula scared the sh*t out of 6-yr.-old me.
I don’t remember going, but my mom said that Ursula terrified my 3-year-old self :-p
The part at the end, right before she gets rammed with the ship – that terrified me.
I know a girl named Ursula. Pre-school/Kindergarten must’ve been hell for her.
First theater movie, The Blob or something similar.
Fitty cent double Saturday matinees.
Also saw The Exorcist when it first came out.
My dad was a projectionist at a drive-in movie theater on weekends. Sometimes he couldn’t get out to pay the child support, so he would have mom bring the kids to the theater and give her the check there. I remember watching Grand Prix, and when the race cars went around the turns, lots of brake lights would suddenly show up on the parked cars,
My sister worked her way through college as a box office and snack bar worker. She could get me in free on Saturdays if something was playing that I wanted to see. I would go sit in the very first row, and then turn and smile when the paying customers came in. I know they couldn’t figure out how I got there ahead of them.
The first movie I remember seeing was Journey to the Center of the Earth. The scene where the explorers keep stepping on this log in the cave, and not paying any attention to it, and suddenly it turns out to be a giant monster that almost eats them (spoiler alert) terrified me! I was probably three or four, cause my mom and I were sitting in those separate rooms they had for people with small children. I couldn’t watch, and I couldn’t stop watching. Ah, that explains so much.
Or, if not “civic” then under-mendacious parties with veins sturdy enough to resist ham-fisted, under-trained phlebotomy for a whopping $35 per week.
But, I may be jaded in this, in having experience at either end of 26f fistula appliances.
CJ, that’s horrible/priceless. I like how it starts out like an office coffee anecdote and then detours right into unintended YSAC territory.
Lola – my first reaction was to stare and blink…
Not.A.Lion
Not.A.Lion
Played over and over in my head.
OMG…it was classic…
Best laugh I’ve had in a long time.
Perfect moment, there. I’ve seen that flowchart, too, but fortunately I work in one of the rare offices where there are enough java fiends (myself included) that the pot never goes empty. Of course, we’re a relatively small company (3 branches across Canada, and I work at head office where we have about 23 employees total, including the warehouse folk) so that probably has a lot to do with it.
Freaky-puppy – the saddest part is that in my office, at any given moment, there are only 5-6 of us…and I don’t drink the coffee here. I bring my own…yes, I’m a coffee snob.
And still someone always leaves the pot with just a little left in it.
I work for a faceless, uncaring international company with a couple-hundred people in the office side.
My department has 15-20, and our warren of cubicles is in a mas of 25-30. Our ‘shift’ time even starts early, 0730.
Yet, despite all that, the office-supplied coffee is both obnoxious and usually just that “finger’s worth” over-cooked leavings in each of the three available pots. (Further, for a place with dozens of written policies and placards denoting same–for coffee-making, there’s nothing–go figure.)
So, for a slight bit more effort, I can have good Ethiopian dark roast instead? Color me snob, then,
This is one of my favorite Toothpaste for Dinners ever: http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/042903/coffee-vs-wine.gif
I’m not allowed to make coffee at work anymore, since it tends to resemble roofing tar even before it has sat around for a few hours. My coirkers just don’t appreciate a good slice of coffee.
Same here, SJ. My boss insists on making the coffee. Apparently he just doesn’t appreciate being able to roll up balls of coffee with an ice cream scoop in the morning.
That’s just wrong – who wouldn’t want to make a little snowman out of solidified coffee?
You have just given my life a purpose, SJ.
I must make a coffee snowman.
Where’s EB? I need her to teach me how to make a semi-spherical cake.
You can take a page from those “molecular gastronomy” fellas – get some sodium alginate and calcium carbonate, make some coffee spheres, and voila! Coffee Snowman.
I could teach you how to make a hemisphere cake…
1. Buy one of the soccer ball cake pans.
2. Follow the directions.
😀
You forgot Step 3: Profit!
Ahh, you’re right, I skipped a couple steps!
3. ???
4. Profit!
I. Love. Coffee sludge. Just so thick and syrupy that it’s acrid. Mmm. And I’m being serious. Why drink ten cups or smoke crack when you can just have a few cups o sludge? Party time! You can make coffee for me anytime.
And with that, the hazing is complete. Corey is one of us (or you, who drink slice-able coffee, but my point is that he fits into the Snark Crew well (and I like long, nested parentheticals)).
And here I thought that (like me) he was just being lazy and using it as a good reason to get someone else to make his coffee for him. I was sad he beat me to the punch.
I bring my own as well. Not.A.Coffee.Snob, just too lazy to walk all the way to the other side of the floor to get some more. I bring a nice large thermos mug and drink my 2 cups without getting out of my chair…
After drinking my two cups, getting out of the chair is something I do….frequently…
My mom won’t let me drink coffee. She says it’s because I “Do. Not. Need. Caffeine.” but I think she just wants it all for herself…
Doesn’t your mother know that coffee is one of the six basic food groups? Bacon, pie, cheese, steak, beer, coffee. How dare she prevent you from making sure you have a balanced diet!
Only five groups for Astro, he’s got a few years to go before he can add beer to the mix.
Everything else looks good.
You left off pizza!
Which is good with
“Bacon, pie, cheese, steak, beer, coffee”
QED
Ack, Ni! Ni!, I’ve omitted chocolate (one of the few food groups not good on pizza).
I keep imagining Sparks going to a shelter and letting all the kitties out, except the fat ones.
I must be incredibly bored this morning… I listened to the entire podcast, and then trolled CL for ads to send in to Llamanun and Ostrimu*.
*bees be upon them
Also listened to the podcast.
I laughed, cried, smiled
And it wasn’t due to gas
Now release the doves
“Now release the doves”
SpaceBug, you’re really Prince?!? Cool!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1vH2rjUshk
ribbit
The English teacher in me (which is most of me, except for my left leg, which is a ballerina), feels the need to insert punctuation in posts like this to see if I can make any real sentences. This is what I got today:
All: Yal are free. Okay– 39
All: Pussy cats are free. Okay: You just–no. What to say? An “it” ain’t much. To get what you got, and to some I doint. Even want it ill? Just do it myself because your “just” to FAT–or, no. I can deal with all except Fat. Fat Fat, no? Yes for me. No fat. Fat? Fat, okay.
Hmm. I feel like it’s trying to tell me something…
it’s just not anything that can be told through the English language.
I doubt it’s anything that could be told through any language.
Maybe interpretive dance.
Sounds like a job for my left leg!
Sounds sorta like the conversations I hear coming from the backseat of my car when my son is back there playing with his toys. If I ever hear a reply back, I’ll be calling a specialist. In exorcism.
When my nephew was little I heard him talking to himself in the back seat while we were driving somewhere and realized that I recognized the dialogue – he was acting out parts of the movie Dinosaur with his toys, complete with sound effects. It was eerie.
What’s up with all the cats around here? You guys not only take your jokes seriously, but your cats as well. Does anyone have a Pitbull that can chase me? Seriously. Lotta cats. And cat oriented names.
Cats are awesome! I eat at least one a day.
Don’t forget to floss, ESP.
No worries. I eat a duck for dessert. Their feathers are great for getting the bits out.
We represent the Kitty Cat Mafia – fear us, for we shall rule the world!
:evil laugh:
Right after we take our twenty hour nap.
OK
The boring reason is a lot of us have pet cats and use their pictures as our avatars.
Good way to throw him off track there ghostcat.
*waves hand in air*
These are not the cats you fear, young man.
I have a friend who has a couple to chase you, but you’d have to migrate about 300 miles south…
I’ve been going south lately. Like a bird, as it were. If I could get one to chase me the three hundred miles without maiming me too badly, then I could resurrect my career. Watching this spring training is kinda bumming me out. “Release the beasts!”
Mrrouw?
Wake up, EC – We have to go invade Poland.
Ooh, a sunny spot!
:falls asleep:
Reminds me of the LOLcat I saw the other day….
Picture of the kitty in the food bowl…
Caption read – in LOLspeak, which I refuse to learn – “Day 700 of life, plan for world domination not going so well, fell asleep in food bowl again.”
Yep, that about sums it up.
It’s okay, Corey, not all of us are cats. Now about invading Poland, can I start early? You can join in after the sunny spot moves to the other side of the door.
‘Kay. But if I hear the can opener I’m outta there.
*points to avatar* Or, in my case plastic…anything, really. I can’t resist the sound of rustling plastic.
Oooohhh…look! *chases after runaway grocery sack*
Mine are suckers for the beef jerky bag.
Uhm… woof.
I think you mean “ɟooʍ”.
o.O How did you do that? *ogles*
Magic.
A magic trick named Google.
Mine is actually from my last name. My students even call me Miss Cat.
I don’t even own a feline.
I wish I had a pitbull. They’re adorable.
But, probably not as supportive of classroom discipline as, say, a mastif or Mameluke, with that intensity of expression and the ability to curl just the least bit of lip . . .
And cheaper to feed than, say, an equally-capable E-8.
OT: Got a band concert tonight, so between that and homework I won’t be able to put in much snark. Maybe. Anyhow, for those interested, we’re playing the following:
“Chimes of Liberty” by Edwin Franko Goldman
Symphony No. 1 “The Lord of the Rings”, Mvt. V “Hobbits” by Johan de Meij
“Esprit de Corps” by Robert Jager
“Superheroes R Us” arr. Michael Story
If there’s video taken, I’ll make sure to post it for everyone.
Good luck, have fun and…umm…what do you say to band members for good luck?
Break a bassoon?
We don’t have a bassoon player this semester, actually.
I like to say “give a large effort.”
And yes, that is a euphemism in the best sense of the word, courtesy of the 2009 Marching Low Brass.
“Remember your rubbers.” was the slogan for my high school band. I was an orchestra member and was told this by many of my band friends. Apparently it had something to do with rubber bands (something that didn’t get used in orchestra but had some purpose for band players).
WE’RE DOING A JAGER PIECE TOO!!!!!!!!! Symphony Number 3, it’s very nice. We did well at local contest, but I’m hoping we can really get it together when we come back from break so we can kick butt at our St. Louis contest.
We’re going to District Festival on Friday. I was upset at our march when we first got it because I wanted to do a Karl King march, but oh well.
I’ve played all of those but the Story piece. I played the de Meij back when it was still relatively new, and we did all five movements. (this was not a high school ensemble) You have to have a MONSTER soprano sax player to pull off “Gollum.”
“Chimes of Liberty” isn’t bad, but speaking as a French horn player, I pretty much hate all marches equally.
Time to get punchy. Lola, here’s a very classic Punchity Punch Punch!
Sis, here’s a musical, La la la Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Pamplona!
Thanks, Windy! Who’s Pamplona? 8)
8) I stole it from Mindee’s epic pome.
Nested Parenthesis is IF’s English Beat cover band.
And All Pussy Cats Are Free is IF’s Stray Cats/Sons of Freedom mashup band.
It aint heavy…
It’s my blubber.
Listening to the podcast. Tycho is an ass. Zoey has a girl crush. drmk, BBUY, you are the most patient guest ever.
I get the feeling that this guy isn’t into fat people.
But I have no idea why…
(Disclaimer: SC absolutely knows why, he just refuses to acknowledge it.)
*likes SC more and more every day*
Disclaimer: Windy is happily married and only dabble in match making. The sulfur gets to me after a while.
*Is a happy panda because he’s earning brownie points.*
(Disclaimer: SC may, or may not be doing a happy jig in his seat right now.)
Aient Aliens explores the controversial theory that extraterrestrial red necks have visited Earth for hundreds of years. From the age of Tim the tool man to ancient NASCAR, from early beer pong to continued mass trailer parks in the US, each episode in this hit series gives historic depth to the questions, speculations, provocative controversies, first-hand accounts and groundless theories surrounding this age old debate. Did unintelligent beings from outer space visit the south thousands of years ago and breed with the populace?
Here in Texas we’re discussing building a laser-guided phooton border fence to prevent aliens from outer space from visiting and breeding with the populace….it might raise the average I.Q., and adversely affect state elections….and sulfur production.
That is part of the John Deere theory. The theory states that rednecks wearing John Deere caps are agents of these aliens. Being that only people wearing John Deere caps are “abducted”, it is believed that these agents report to their superiors in the “UFO’s” (Undeclared Foreign Operations(both definitions of operations are used)). In the event of a sighting of a UFO by a non-agent, the “abducton” story is used to deter belief. There have been several attemps of non-redneck agents of CAT(Clever Agent’s Taskforce) trying to infiltrate this system, but it seems these agents have been modified or otherwise transformed into chihuahuas. These CAT agents were really a bunch of pussies anyway. The number of chihuahuas involved with the John Deere-CAT feud is quivering. So when encountering a chihuahua, be supportive and give an ex-CAT agent a pat on the head and a hearty atta boy.
There is definitely something wrong with this guy. No fat? Really?
No bacon? Pork fat.
No Ice Cream? Milk fat.
No chocolate? Caocao butter(fat).
No guacomole? Vegetable fat.
No salmon or previously mentioned tuna? Fish fat.
What is the point of existence if you refuse yourself these things?
I’d pitty da foo’ but the punk only used one punctuation mark in the whole ad, and he put it in the wrong place. With all of the misspelling, instead of calling it a comma, we’ll say he used a coma. So, while he’s there let’s give him a liquid bacon IV and when he wakes up he’ll be CURED! (Pun not intended)*
* May be somewhat but not entirely untrue.
We were talking about pit bulls, weren’t we?
nojazzie, it’s Monday. I hope your expectations weren’t too high. Punchity Punch Punch.
Good Morning, All Yal!