YSaC, Vol. 999: Next book in the series: Prince Ottoman.
ARMOUR from THE SOUND OF MUSIC
MOHOGANEY WOOD RECENTLY FINISHED 4X7 IN XCELLENT CONDITION COME TAKE A LOOK NO REASONABLE OFFER REFUSED, CALL ONLY, FLOY xxx xxx xxxx ORIGINAL PRICE WAS 2K
You know, I’ve seen The Sound of Music plenty of times, and I don’t remember the scene where the children are made to dress up in mahogany armour and fight the Nazis. Although it would have added something extra to the scene where Kurt sings farewell to everyone — by whipping out a morningstar and decapitating the front row of spectators. That would have been awesome.
What? Oh, they meant armoire. Oh, how droll. So it’s the armoire from the Sound of Music, in which the children use the armoire to escape the Nazis into a snowy fantasy land ruled by a giant Actually.A.Lion.Except.It’s.An.Allegory? That would be pretty cool. “The hills are alive …. and they’re eating children …. ”
Oops. Dan says it’s time for my medications now.
Thanks, Elisabeth!
I was actually quite tempted, until I noticed the kid taking a leak against it in photo #2…
If that is really what they are doing, then a reasonable offer is “I won’t charge you to take this stinky thing away.”
That’s cause it’s Euro-peein’.
Auntie stains on couches,
and bedazzled deer hooves.
Bright minty shells,
and warm nacho cheese heads.
Green prom dresses, size sixteen!
These are a few of my favorite things!
When the table’s free;
When the bees cover the truck;
When I’m feeling saaaaaaaaaaaaddd,
I simply crawl into my favorite armour,
And then I don’t feeeeeeeel sooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
Craigslist is alive with the posts for armours
They’ve tried to sell off for a thousand years.
Craigslist fills my heart with the love for armours.
Make reasonable offer; don’t be in arrears.
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
that nest in mohoganey trees.
My heart wants to sigh like a buzz that flies
from a truck covered in bees,
To laugh like the child who relieves himself on the left in picture 2,
To roar through the night as those mighty not.lions do.
I go to Craigslist when my heart is lonely.
I know I will see what I’ve seen before.
My heart will be blessed with those countless armours,
And I’ll buy once more.
Oh, my sides hurt after reading that one!!
Sing it to the tune of the Armour hot dog song everybody!
Ottomans, armours and rocket shoes
What kind of folks sell stuff on Craigs List?
Fat folks
Skinny folks
Folks that like to rock
Tight folks
Creepy folks
Ladies that are paid for sucking co-ks!
Big dogs, chandlers and Lincoln Logs
The Crap!
Folks!
Think!
I’ll!
Buuuuyyyyyyyy!
FM! We missed you yesterday. You were in the bauwks and Windrose was going to punch you! (Don’t worry, there’s a helmet.)
Punch me? WTH? But I was in the bawx? Woo hoo!
Mini Monkey woke up yesterday projectile vomiting (and other things), laid out of work and took her to the dr, she’s got da strep. Spent all day washing bath mats and blankets and sheets and popping Mini Monkey into the tub and Lysoling the bathroom. I’m pooped. And I’m now covered up at work.
No, no, FM. Punching is the highest form of honor that can be bestowed upon a YSaC commentator. It’s like getting a gold star on your math homework, or a handshake from the mayor. Show your bruises with pride, Ms Monkey. You’re one of us!
But I can’t be a commentator. I nothing about sports.
Sigh…I nothing about 16th century French poetry.
Neither do the commentators, FM.
“Well, Jim, what do you think is going to happen today down there on that field?”
“Well, Bob, I think the visiting team is going to give it their best go today but this home team’s got a good chance of giving it right back to them. What’s your take, Jim?”
“I think you’re right. Let’s go down to the field to talk to our token female commentator we’re required to have due to Anti-Discrimination laws. Jennifer, hello.”
“Hello there Jim and Bob. I’m down here on the field talking with the coach. Well, Coach, what is your game plan today?”
“We’ve got a good team this year but so do they. My plan is to score more points than our opposition and come out of this game with another win.”
“Thanks Coach. Jim, Bob, back to you.”
Doesn’t seem so hard to me.
I’m clueless when it comes to astrophysics.
EDIT: That’s a little too coherent, Sis, judging by the NASCAR commentary I’ve heard.
Astrophysics is easy, comedy is hard.
I have my own physics? And they’re easy? Sweet!
Sucking Colorado and Kansas?
At the same time, even.
That’s pretty hard to do
I’m somewhat hampered snark-wise, since I have never seen The Sound of Music. For all I know, it’s chock-full of urine-splattered armoires and shark-mounted lasers. Nazis had those, right?
Go watch it. We’ll wait.
Brief synapsis:
Nun hired as nanny to 7 children, sings and dances until the kids are bored into submission. Father thinks this is great and falls in love with nanny. Nazis come to force father to join the army or go to prison. Family escapes over the mountains with much harrowing background music. The end.
I love the movie.
One of my favorite birthdays, ever, was about 10 years ago when I went to the Sing-Along SoM which was at that time showing/playing in Philadelphia. It is basically a cross between SoM and Rocky Horror, as people wear costumes (still think the best is Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String, though the families in which all members, of both genders, were all dressed as nuns were fairly amusing) and you are encouraged to sing along (per the name) via onscreen lyric subtitles (sadly, the Mitch Miller bouncing ball is not utilized), including the beginning where the nuns at the convent are singing in Latin, and also to talk back to the screen, hiss the Baroness, wave an Eidelweiss in the air in the manner of a lighter at a rock concert, etc. I went with a friend with whom I share a birthday and a sense of humor, and we both remember it fondly.
Question: Who gets the humor when neither of you needs it? Can I borrow it sometime?
You can borrow mine, but you might want to clean it first…
@LL: Oh..sort of like the Brady Bunch meets Stripes and Inglourious Basterds until Hogan’s Heroes gets interjected into the mix and they finish with Brokeback Mountain. The best part is, all this is set to music.
mudsy….you should be a Broadway producer, because that was genius. 🙂
I might be shy of a Tony, but I’m aiming for a Mel Brooks award.
I’ll vote for you Mudsy.
I love playing for musicals, but “The Sound of Music,” like most Rogers and Hammerstein, has a really tedious French horn part. I’d probably only do that one again for money.
I’m not a musicals sort of person — I’m really not into them — but this movie I really do like. It’s really worth seeing — perhaps not so much for the music itself but the story is great and the scenery is often breathtaking. It’s a bit of a long movie but worth it. I still have to get it on Blu-Ray just for the scenery.
*Dawns his Armoire of Invisnibility*
I’m ready for battle!
(Interesting tidbit: My browser does not recognize Armoire as an actual word)
But it was fine with “Invisnibility”?
No, but I think we are all aware of why that isn’t considered a real word.
Because Websters will not recognize my genius!
Guinness has no problem with it though.
Beer seldom does.
Is there a “drink until it makes sense” codicil to the “drink her pretty” phenomenon?
Bucket List #42: Play Scrabble with Taco
Don’t forget to bring extra tiles. And a Sharpie.
Wite-Out®?
When I sit and acchully take time to spell a word, I can do it wright. I love playing scrabal, and Im prety good at it two.
Noebody evar whants to play with me for sum reasen, thow.
That must be because they’re jealous of your, er um, how do you say….creative wordplay strategies*?
You must be a scream at Monopoly too.
*No, you can’t use your Q and Z at the end of every word if the word lands on triple letter score
Adding umlauts to things so that they work is NOT cheating.
I want to join the scrabble party! Is derp a word?
As I was saying only last night, “Further Up and Further In!”
*hopes enough Snarkers have read Narnia books so that this doesn’t just seem out of place*
“We need to go deeper.”
The corner is gonna be full today. I’ll start another batch of coffee slices in the deep fryer.
As I re-read Windy’s and Taco’s, it’s starting to sound like the story line to one of those adult movies.
All it needs is a copy machine and a secretary.
Move over corner-dwellers, I bring popcorn.
I’m starting to think we need to remodel the corner again. It seems to be a little cozy lately.
I’ll bring the hot sausage pizza…
Oh Boy, my favorite pizza! I love the taste of MF’s hot sausage!
Hey look, a shovel!
*Dig Dig Dig Dig Dig*
So, I’ll go find the Paul Klee wallpaper so we can pretend we can admit to the existence of lines, if only as metaphors of Spark’s inhumanity to furniture.
I thought we were going to get to go to Narnia when Dan started pushing the meds.
“Hey baby, have you seen my ‘faun’? Would you like to?”
The corner is no threat to me today. I’d kill for a nap right now.
Me, too, but we could just arm-wrestle for it, Funk …zzzzzzzzzz.
*crawls to corner with pillow and blankie, falls asleep drooling on pillow*
*twitches occasionally*
That’s an awfully small hole to enter.
*heads to the corner*
Buy every armour
Shell every mint
Follow every hypno-dog
‘Til your money’s spent
Firm every obo
Find shoulder knees
Worship every llama
‘Til you find your bees
Some bees that will swarm
Every truck you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live
Misname every tiger
Cheese every head
Nacho every fountain
‘Til your table’s red
Brilliant!
Anything playing off of the red table deserves an adore if you ask me. I mean take it, it’s free.
Mindfield in the box with all the poo. Sorry about that. Here’s a room freshener in holy vanilla.
Not to worry. I’ve got the Things cleaning and disinfecting as punishment — but this holy vanilla smells heavenly!
I prefer the scent of holy godzilla (or is that nunzilla?)
I have several friends who are both devout Catholics and intentional collectors of religious kitsch (one was the source of the holy vanilla BVM air freshener, and the other was the recipient of it as a gift). One had a party at one time and, among other guests, invited her priests. She was a little unsure as to whether she should tuck away things like Nunzilla, but … lo and behold, it was a popular item with the priests (I suspect the fact that their parish has an attached convent and school may have something to do with this).
Shouldn’t that have been enclosed inside some [/imprimatur] tag or something?
8)
I worked in a Catholic Church for a few years and staff had a party to celebrate our pastor’s 25th year as a priest.
I gave him the Buddy Christ Bobble Head doll. He loved it and even showed the Bishop, who also got a chuckle out of it.
Thus ensuring that not only am I going to hell, but I am taking religious leaders with me.
Oh, I”m pretty sure those religious “leaders” have a pretty good shot at going there all on their own.
😉
My father worked at a Catholic school for a few years. We used to get him nunzilla-type items as gifts. He said that most of the nuns thought it was funny.
Bad advice, Bad advice
Every morning you greet me
Truck of bees, bedazzled like these
You look crappy to me, to me
Have some Crisco, it may bloom and grow
Bloom and grow some fungus
Bad advice, Bad advice
Piss in my armour forever.
Hammy, reading “piss in my armour forever” is funny, but next to a puppy avatar it is freakin’ hilarious.
BWAHAHA. I just pissed in my armour.
Sir Robin, Go and Change Your Armor!
I once spent nearly 10 hours singing “Edelweiss” over and over in the rear seat of the car while my parents slowly slipped into madness.
It was a long road trip.
“Maaaaaaaaaaa! CJ’s singing AGAIN! Make her stop!”
[Sister]? Is that you? Here, let me test my theory on duct tape and incapacitating one’s sibling.
Hurt?
No, it won’t hurt
mea bit.And who is “FLOY”? Is that a badly spelled Floyd? Or Lloyd? Or Roy with a speech impediment?
Yes.
Probably.
Accordion.
Polka time?
*Pokes Lyle*
Poka Poka Poke Poke!
Ew! That’s your SISTER!
*returns to corner*
It’s actually a reference to the car trips we used to take with our parents. The theory was that we’d be perfectly fine and content to read, stare out the window, or whatever until 15 minutes before our arrival at wherever we were headed.
Once we hit the 15 minute mark the sibling bickering would begin, usually with an assortment of poking, hitting, or the ever popular “I’m not touching you so you can’t get mad!” “But you’re on MY side!”
“MOM! She’s LOOKING at me!!!!”
“She’s breathing my air!”
I’m convinced that if Mom hadn’t gotten a van with two bench seats, my sister and I would have killed each other about twenty minutes into the annual beach trip.
Taco, I figured it was probably that innocuous, but – HEY! – this is the Snark Lounge. We do what we can … get away with.
As for all of the other comments about siblings on car trips, I sometimes wonder what I missed being an only child. (Bet my parents don’t, however.)
*smacks Taco’s hand and pouts, staring out the window for a moment. Waits until he’s looking away. Reaches slyly across the armrest/drinkholder and snags his sleeve, yanking it viciously a few times before retreating to her side as if nothing happened.*
Your stories are nothing compared with driving from Raleigh to Chattanooga sitting next to my demon of a sister.
This is the same girl who climbs into my room through the window to steal my gum. The same girl who causes me to lock my door so she won’t wear my shoes. My shoes! She’s a girl. With her own perfectly good shoes. I’m a guy. With guy shoes. She’s a monster.
With monster shoes?
Only on Wednesdays
He posts his ads to Craigslist selling things that no one wants
He types in caps and spells like crap, his ignorance he flaunts
And underneath his ball cap, his receding hair makes taunts
I even see him posting on Kijiji!
He’s always posting flotsam, but the price he asks is real
He writes such bad descriptions, but he does it with such zeal
I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel
I think that Sparky should stick to Kijiji!
If I could say one thing on his behalf: Sparky makes me laugh!
How do you solve a problem like our Sparky?
How do you catch a clod and make him stop?
How do you find a word describing Sparky?
A circus show freak? A whimpering sod? A flop?
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Most of those things he’ll never understand
‘Cause nothing can make him change monosyllabic ways
Because he must speak around his prostate gland
Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Sparky?
How do you ignore the pecil in his hand?
When he posts, his item’s pics are out of focus and depict
Mostly shadow ‘cos he won’t turn on a light
When he does it mainly shows things he really should dispose
Like those piles of random garbage on the right
He’s a half of a half-wit since his brain got up and quit
You can tell with every word that he misspells
And what little he has left soon will render him bereft
Of the last remaining pile of living cells
How do you solve a problem like our Sparky?
How do you catch a clod and make him stop?
How do you find a word describing Sparky?
A circus show freak? A whimpering sod? A flop?
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Most of those things he’ll never understand
‘Cause nothing can make him change monosyllabic ways
Because he must speak around his prostate gland
Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Sparky?
How do you ignore the pecil in his hand?
I’m a sparky
Going on Craigslist
I don’t know that I’m naive
Trying to sell some armour I can’t spell
And dropping my leading Es
Next up on the auction block is this prestigious armoire. This piece is an early 20th century working made from a fine Mahogany, as you can tell by the marvelous grain of the wood and its distinctive coloration. According to an engraving found on the bottom, this piece was by the von Trapp family carpenters. Bidding will start at a firm OBO. Who would like to start off the bidding? *hefts gavel*
I bid one stick of gum, barely used.
I bid one teenager, barely works.
I see your lay-about teenager and up you one 9-year-old that likes to run around naked.
Anyone have change for a toddler that wakes up at 1 am and screams for several hours until you figure out that the thing he’s trying to point at is the white noise generator that he wants turned on?
White noise generator? Around my apartment, we call that a fan. (I’ve actually slept with one pretty much my whole life. I have trouble sleeping without it — I like both the breeze and the white noise.)
Same here. I even have a tiny one that I can pack in my suitcase for when I travel.
[grumpy Taco OT]
His is a heater or fan depending on the temperature of his room vs. what it should be. But, given that last night his room was rather… perfect temperature-wise we couldn’t figure out what the heck he wanted so adamently.
My wife ended up turing on the heater on low for him in desperation and just pointed it away from the area where he sleeps so he wouldn’t get warm. He quieted right down and passed out minutes later. Of course by then his father was so wound up that he couldn’t sleep.
Best we could figure is that since the last week it had been really hot we’d been putting the fan on for him when he sleeps, and it’s a pretty loud box fan at that, yesterday was rather cool out so we didn’t turn on his fan. He must have woken up and realized he wanted some noise to help him sleep.
If only he knew how to speak. A “Fan!” would have been very helpful at the beginning of all the screaming.
[/grumpiness]
He’ll learn eventually that pointing and screaming only works if you’re a celebrity.
Or a republican senator.
Or Hitler.
In other news, my blog got it’s first spam. I’m disappointed. All it says is ‘test blast.’ I was hoping for some good garble-de-gook.
Oh, I got that one! And a couple in Russian that Uncle Google translated into some sort of “upgrade your site with our suspicious software” gobblety-gook.
It’ll pick up and get more interesting, I’m sure. I got a couple of good ones recently:
Thank you. I will, in fact, have a sexy day. Be sure to thirstily watch for my approaching changes.
Irony aside, this is the first spam that ever threatened to pants me.
Ya know, I almost want to start a blog just so someone will wish me a “sexy day”.
CJ; I want you to have a Sexy Day. Buy yourself something that makes you feel pretty and strut your stuff like it’s the focal point of the Thanksgiving Day Parade.
There you go.
Wow…thanks Taco.
*peruses Victoria’s Secret site until she remembers what Victoria’s “secret” is….no one over thirty can wear that shit*
Think I’ll go to Sprawl-Mart and see if there’s any flannel on clearance.
Even for those of us under 30, Victoria’s secret remains a no-fly zone.
I don’t care how well made their thong panties are, they just don’t flatter my figure the way the TacoThong does.
I always figured Victoria’s secret was that she is actually Victor.
Drop your panties Sir William, I am sick of you posting on my website!
That’s how I’m going to start exiting a room, conversation, church, phone call: “Have a sexy day”. I’ll use Borat’s accent.
Given that that today is So Happy It’s Thursday, I would like to wish everyone a sexy S.H.I.T!
We get those thesaurus-based fill-in-the-blank spams all the time. Some of them are pretty funny.
The ones we’ve been getting recently are generic “I enjoyed your website” ones where one word is misspelled in a characteristic way; I’m assuming it’s so that they can do a search and find out on which sites their spamming is actually working/allowed. I’d give an illustration but that might encourage them.
Yeah, about 80% of the crap I’ve been getting are either spings or some variation on the “I like-a you!” theme. That is, when they aren’t in Polish. I think my “Pole to Pole” story is responsible for that. Spam has been surging recently, so I’m guessing there must have been new spam king crowned.
Your “Pole to Pole” story.
heh
I wish I could find a 100% Pole in Warsaw. All I’ve been able to find so far have been Pole-ish.
p.s. I’m having this same sort of problem in Israel as well. Too much Jew-ish and not enough 100% commitment.
Storytime!!
Taco, the thong does not go on your head! Where does it go? Umm…ermm…here, take this highly unstable chemical compound and go play in the corner.
First..and I do mean this – I have many Jewish friends and harbor no prejudice against…well, against anyone – except cat haters…but that’s another story.
Anyway – we all went to dinner one night to celebrate my mother-in-law’s birthday. There were about a dozen of us family members and the restaurant we went to was a pricey Italian place.
The food was awesome…sigh..
This was the night that [oldest son] was introduced to ‘tini drinks. His fiancee ordered an Appletini and he was smitten.
He drank one..and then another and another. I was sitting across from him and admonished him to stop before he fell outta the chair and onto the floor.
“Really, mom? I don’t feel a thing.”
“Think tequila..only worse.” I said, reminding him of a recent – and epic – bout of post-tequila vomiting he’d had.
“Oh..okay…I’ll stop.”
He did, but it was too late. Normally outgoing, he got very quiet until the food was finished and the huge red velvet cake had been brought out, Happy Birthday, was sung and the check was delivered to the table.
We had one check and easily eight people trying to figure out who owed what.
[Oldest son] finally snatched the check up, added up the money laying on the table, and when it came up short, loudly proclaimed…
“Okay, who’s being JEWISH here??”
Silence, except for a few snickers, befell the entire dining room we were in (the restaurant is divided into several small dining rooms).
“Who is it? Who didn’t put their money in? WHO IS BEING JEWISH??” He demanded, growing more agitated.
“Honey,” his fiancee said quietly tugging on his sleeve, “it was you. You haven’t put any money in the kitty yet.”
[Very drunk oldest son] stands up and announces to the room, “S’okay…I’m the JEW.”
The room erupted into applause and laughter.
We have never let him forget that moment.
/end storytime
::ring ring::
Ann Frank on line #2 for CJ and mudsy.
AR’s on line #1.
And I’m sorta on Line #4.
I believe Line #3 left a long time ago.
No line here… I’m on the fence. Been there for a while, too.
I am not sure if I like oldest son or hate him from that story CJ
I got test blasted today too!
Coffee high-five!
*Splash*
Did you pass?
Pass?! I blasted the test!
A good day for a test, ladies and gentlemen! Blasts all around. Bartender, put it on my tab!
Just finished a triple espresso, but I’ll take another blast!
I haven’t actually done anything to my blog yet. I wonder if I should look for spam.
You’re on wordpress so you’ll know. On your Dashboard page there’ll be a “Right Now” thing on the left hand side at the top. In the righthand side of that box will be your comments, approved, pending, and spam. Have-at! And if you don’t get any once you get started, I’ll come spam you 🙂
Spiffy! Thanks SisterLyle! Obviously I am still finding my footing on wordpress and I don’t have as much time to devote to it as I would like. Your advice (all of you along with SisterLyle) is very helpful.
The only blog I have is an old LiveJournal I haven’t updated in years. I’ll have to go delete my not-yet-visible, pending-approval spam one of these months.
And yeah, it tends to be of the Russian visit-my-malware-infested-site variety.
‘K, now who’s going to tackle a “Lonely Goatherd” parody? I challenge you all!
Sorry, I don’t yodel.
But will you wear the lederhosen anyway?
*corner*
He wears them when he “polishes” his “alpenhorn”.
I’ll be in the “corner”.
My sister was varnishing my alpenhorn recently and tweeted about it.
That got weird quickly.
I will not, but thank you for the earworm. That was my favorite song from the movie.
Mine too, and I’ve been humming it all day. No yodelling though: I resemble IF in that I’m yodellingly-challenged.
I thought that the whole point of yodeling was to disguise the fact that you cannot sing. Now I gotta have skill for that too?
I thought it was to disguise the fact that you couldn’t remember the words….
I thought it was because you dropped something heavy on your foot.
I thought it was made up by Bob Barker.
I thought Bob Barker invented skinny jeans.
I thought Bob Barker invented the internets.
Al Gore invented the internets, but Bob Barker invented Al Gore.
Bob Barker also went back in time and invented Bob Barker. He did it to prevent the paradox of “Who created Bob Barker?”.
But then how do Justin Bieber and Grand Theft Auto factor in? I thought I had this figured out. Dayum.
Just as the creation of 2 bowls really good soup also creates a few gallons of toxic, industrial waste, so does the creation of Bob Barker have some unfortunate consequence.
The compression of so much awesome into one place resulted in a vacuum of suckage that caused America’s Hat to birth the Bieber.
(Note to self: Never eat soup at Taco’s house.)
But, Ghostie, just think of how awesome the soup must be if it creates a vaccuum of suck great enough to cause 5 gallons of industrial waste per cup!
That’s some good soup right there.
But if you think the soup is good, you should see how much medical waste is produced when I’m making up coffee slices! I’m told if you were to line up the syringes it would circle the globe a few times.
ew.
Just, just…
ew.
That is an impressive level of awesome.
Coffee Slice?
*Crunch Crunch*
Bob Barker invented sliced bread too.
High on my list
Is a bedazzled goathead
lay-oodle lay-oodle lay hee hoo!
Where can I find
Such a awesome thing?
lay-oodle lay oodle loo!
Folks in a lounge
That was quite peculiar
lay-oodle lay-oodle lay hee hoo!
Told me to check
On the local Craigslist
lay-oodle lay-oodle loo!
OH-HO
Crazy lady selling
OH-HO
Just what I need!
OH-HO
Crazy lady smoking
Something that just might be weed!
Outstanding! I love the “OH-HO” part!
Challenge Pass 😉
Any other Newsradio fans here in the comments? There was an episode where eccentric billionaire boss Jimmy James bought a box full of fake movie memorabilia from some kid. Including “the original sword.”
See if you remember this one… ‘SOUND of music, SOUND of music, music music, sound of music…’
I remember that was the show with the dirtiest stars’ names: Andy Dick and Stephen Root. Snort.
As a career move, that show was a bit of a grenade.
The humor was both base and subtle.
Steve Root’s career seemed to explode after that; Andy D just imploded; poor Dave Foley has wound up hoist on petards not of his own making (just bought and paid for).
OT – so today, in the badlands of N. Texas, it’s currently 66 degrees. The hum-diddity is like 12% and the high is expected to be 80. This is amazing…truly amazing. By this time, each year, it’s usually over 90, humid, miserable.
Sigh…….I’m working, hubby is home – he’s taking a couple extra days to add to the upcoming holiday – and he calls me to say he’s going to the lake.
I’m working…still..
Oh well, I’m off tomorrow for a four-day stay-cation.
And, it’s going to be 92 degrees with high humidity and 30+ mph winds. This makes being on the lake, in a boat, a recipe for motion-induced puking. Not gonna do it.
Sigh….
Saturday we’re busy all day. Sunday is looking promising, and then I remember it’s Memorial Day Weekend when all the once-a-year boaters get out on the water and proceed to prove why each should be removed from the gene pool…yesterday.
An aside – last year, we were at the marina on Saturday, before Memorial Day, and as we were getting ready to leave – putting the boat on the lift, tying it off, wiping it down, etc. a couple comes walking up the walkway from another boat slip. The woman is wobbly-legged and the man is half-carrying her as they go along. She stops, at our slip, grabs one of the posts and proceeds to projectile vomit into the water…and all over the bow of the boat next to us….not once, not twice, but THREE times. The man looks apologetically at me and mumbles something about too much sun…yeah..riiiiiiiiiight I think as I can smell the alcohol. Seriously, a lot of boaters check their brains at the dock.
Anyway, here I sit..working while he’s out on the lake..probably mostly alone at this point since it is a Thursday.
And what was my point?
Oh yeah, working sux….and idiots should not be allowed to own/drive/ride on boats.
Far too many seem to do so the second the hitch drops over the ball on the truck–but, that may be because they’d already been to the Kwicky-Mart and had to cope with all those keystones of beasts that would not fit in the cooler with the ice.
I have a long-term twitch reflex whenever I hear about people going “skiing”–which, in Texas, means getting to a BAC in the 0.06-0.08 range, and driving a boat at top speed mostly watching whoever is on the end of the towrope.
This in contrast to PWC operators, most of whom seem to use maximum throttle with eyes closed. And, in some fairness, there are sensible PWC operators, but, most of those will have PWC licenses. The rest, it’s
“Wail, wees jus jait-skeen ain’ no lyesnse f’r ‘at, izzz’r?”
Which is usually all they have to offer after running over somebody.
Got no love for the twice/thrice-a-year “ski” crowd. Been to one too many coroner’s inquests and made too many EMS runs.
I’m probably highly over-qualified to operate various-sized vessels on waterways, too.
Capn…wow…first let me congratulate me on understanding EVERY word of your post.
*pauses to enjoy the moment*
Ahem, yes…well I’ve been a Skipper and First Mate aboard everything from an 18 ft. bass boat (currently) to a 42 ft. houseboat (years ago on the Mississippi), over the past 40 plus years and I can safely say…
I agree…wholeheartedly and completely.
*claps for CJ*
That’s not even an Aunt closet, it’s an entertainment center. That hole in the back where you are supposed to put wires and such would just let all of the Aunts escape. This is exactly why I will be buying a stainless steel Aunt closet which keeps both Aunts and odors in.
Okay, what did anyone from the SoM era need with an entertainment center? I saw that spot in the back of the armour, thought it was a mirror.
If it was a mirror you would see Sparky with a camera in it since he/she is taking the picture straight on. As for the time period of SoM, I think it is perfectly clear that while fleeing the Nazis they came upon a wormhole which threw them into our time so they could make entertainment centers and sell them on CL.
D’Oh – an ad, Sparky posts an ad.
Ra – sells an egyptian god of sun.
Meh – really, I don’t want their shit.
Fah – they need the cash for fun.
So – they try and try again.
La – we laugh at all their verbs.
Ti – it really has no worth.
And that brings us up to O O OBO
Awesomesauce.
Pure awesomesauce.
I’d throw more doors at you but I don’t wanna squish the bug. Love it!
Well done, sir. Or Ma’am. I am probably wrong.
Looks likes a bird to me.
I see a plane.
No, it’s… a non sequitor!
Awesome possum!
I believe the title is actually a cat math equation. The Sound of Music – Armour = 2k. Once you simplify the antecedent the answer is Floy.
But the answer is alway sammich! You are bending the cat math continuum!
Ooh…today was 999…do the llamanun and ostrimu (bees be with them) have anything extra-special planned for 1000?
I will actually be able to be here earlier in the day tomorrow, so I’m hoping they do! 🙂
Bridgete, I’m thinking about that time when we had over 1000 comments (the day we all composed the YSaC prayer), partly by encouraging people to comment who usually lurked. I would like us to try and get 1000 again, in honor of post #1000. JMO.
For the 1000th episode of YSaC, something very special has been planned. Everybody look under your seats. That’s right you all are taking home free Oprah singers!
Punchity Punch Punch Person in the box!
G’night, Location!
And there was once 1000 coments on a single [redacted][femaletraits[2]
Edit:
oop been done…
I know it’s futile to throw adores when the post is so old, but I can’t stop myself! This was a great day! I hope we get a second generation of commentors since so many of the first generation have had to go to life stuff.
Lurkers, anyone up to the challenge?
I’m so glad you do it, too, Windy. I click adores thinking (hoping?) that the commenter still lurks on occasion, and it will make them smile. Sometimes it’s wonderful to be reaffirmed even if it’s years later.