YSaC, Vol. 1049: You know, eet ees possible to be TOO attractive!
2011 August 4
free cat
Free cat, u haul
Do. Not. Want.
Thanks for the link, Megen!
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Exactly what it says on the tin.
Not.A.Lion!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
Talk amongst yourselves …
WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition.
[…] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at…2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all!
[…] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […]bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII
In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.htmlDecelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1800: So long, and thanks for all the bees.
Wow, it’s amazing to finally find this site. I’d say I’m late in getting here, but I know I’m right…Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring.
I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere…
Come to me, my little melon-baby collie!
Ah, my little darling, it is love at first sight, is it not, no?
It is love at sight first!
Mi Amore,
P. LePew
Winning.
Thangggggggggggggggquuuu..but, I must find out what zis ‘pew’ means every time I appear.
Actually, descented skunks are said to make interesting pets.
Yeah, but would you want to get close enough to find out if it is descented? Given the Sparktastic nature of CL, I wouldn’t.
Make Sparky do it! 8)
Just do what I do – When in doubt, poke it with a stick.
And stand upwind!
I tried to stand up Wind, but she slapped me. 🙁
But then I rubbed your tummy, remember?
*Wags*
Hey, get a corner, you two!
It’s a big corner, there’s room for three.
*wags*
A co-worker used to have a descented skunk for a pet, but I think it’s the same as with like a ferret: Even without their primary stink-source, they still don’t smell April-fresh.
True dat, FM! And, they are (literally) li’l nippers. My cousin had one and very sore ankles/toes.
Just like ferrets in that respect: Cute as a dickens, but ornery as that old man who hangs out on YSaC and shakes his cane at everyone.
But I smell better.
*Most of the time*
*sniff*
Like mint and fries. Have you been putting Bengay on the potatoes again?
Personally, I don’t want to know if Grampdaddy has been putting Bengay on his potatoes.
But maybe his potatoes ache.
Maybe he just enjoys the tingling sensation.
[disdain for all the cane & Walker waving; goes back to napping]
Two words: Curly Fries.
And, on another note (B-flat I think): I do not not discriminate concerning Ben Gay or Ben Straight. However, I will not be rubbing either on my potatoes.
But maybe his potatoes ache.
Funky, are you an expert on all things related to potato massage?
When taking pictures of cats on craigslist:
make sure they look alive. Make sure they are alive. Plus make sure they are not secret uhaul trucks in disguise.
And make sure that it’s a cat.
Is that Not.A.Cat?
Silesian-cat, obviously. [stretch;wash;wash] Schlesienkatze or biegun kota if you must [yawn; claw stretch; scratch; roll over and nap]
Finally, an existential Sparky. A free cat in a cage. That says it all or uhaul
FREE ALL THE U-HAULS!!
FREE MISJAY! FREE UHAUL! FREE ALL THE THINGS!
[opens one eye]Tell that Schrödinger kid to stop playing the piano with that Van Pelt girl–it’s bothering my nap!
If I get this cat and these cats, my home life will become a lot more interesting.
And that’s not including the input of the respective capybara and ferret tribes. Things could be very “interesting” at your house.
Silly Sparky, that’s Not. A. Cat.
It’s a zebra. Look, you can see the stripes!
It’s a little black Not.A.Lion.
Awwww! Isn’t he cute? Here kitty kitty kitty kitty….
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!!! NOT.A.KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
There are, I learned, skunks in my neighborhood (NYC? I was a little surprised, too). I believe it’s because I am in proximity to parks and my area is more residential than commercial and there are a significant number of houses with yards and other areas with flora. Also refuse from humans. One night I was walking home when it was starting to get dark and I thought, “Oh, that’s a cute little cat!” It was sniffing at the garbage that had been put out for next morning’s pickup.
Then I got closer … and “kitty” turned to model his/her stripe … and I had a “Hey! That’s not a …!” moment. For here, that’s a real wildlife encounter. All it needed was a Marlon Perkins voice-over.
Skunks are like the smelly striped ninjas of the animal kingdom.
Here in TN, it’s fragrant skunk musk many many mornings. At least once a week there is a squashed one on the road that you can smell for about 10 miles around.
FM, I grew up in a rural area of the Pacific Northwest, and know very well of which you speak. I recall driving to work one morning in the summer and it smelled like someone had hit a skunk and then dragged it the length of Main St. Could not get away from the smell.
Storytime!!!
Okay, everyone who brought a pet to class today, return it to its cage for now….
Funky? That’s not a cat!!!
*sprays copious amounts of Febreze around room*
Okay, let’s continue with our story now. Anyone else want a clothespin jeebus?
About ten years ago, my then 25 yr.-old son decided to accompany the family on our yearly trek to Missouri to visit family.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t ride with the rest of us (work) so he decided to come along a little later. He left Texas, after a long day of work and then laundry and packing, at about 9:00 p.m.
It was about 4 o’clock in the morning when he ran over….something on a deserted stretch of Oklahoma highway.
At about 4:05 he realized that the “something” was a skunk.
He drove to the next big town and since the smell was gagging him he decided to take the car to a car wash. He thoroughly washed the sides, undercarriage, tires and wheels.
Satisfied that most of the smell was gone, and tired from the long drive, he drove on into town.
When he got to the house I walked outside to greet him. I didn’t get five feet from the car when I exclaimed, “Whoa! Did you just run over a skunk?”
“No, Mom, I ran over a skunk about six hours ago. It was SO bad I had to stop and wash the car. Why, do you still smell it? Because I think my nose is fried.”
“Yeah,” I said walking around the car and stopping at the trunk, “and I think it’s worse in the back.”
He opened the trunk and both of us turned our heads at the sudden onrush of “skunk de pew”.
“What the…?”, my puzzled son said. “Wait a minute…..”
“It’s not in there is it?” I asked, quickly backpedaling.
“No…” his voice trailed off as he lifted his suitcase out of the car. He set it down on the driveway, close to me, and leaned into the trunk. “I don’t smell it now.”
Meanwhile, my nose was being freshly assaulted as it slowly dawned on me the source.
“Oh.MY.GAWD!” I said, covering my nose and mouth, “it’s coming from your suitcase!”
“Whoa!” son said, after confirming.
He proceeded to lay the suitcase on the grass and open it. Once again, fresh skunk smell hit us both.
“I’ll just take these inside and wash….”he began.
“The hell you will!” I said, stopping him in his tracks. “Take them down to the laundromat and wash them…but first, get some vinegar and tomato juice at the store. Wash them first in tomato juice, then in vinegar and then in detergent.”
He did as I told him, and even though the clothes smelled fine afterwards the suitcase was a goner.
Poor kid, he never did get to sleep that day, he finally went to bed around 6:00 that night and we didn’t see him till almost noon the next day.
/end storytime
We get regular olfactory announcements of visits from skunks in our backyard. We live in a very suburban setting, and there are lots of hills and rural areas within walking distance, so it’s not very unusual. We even had a possum get into the cat shed, a baby one luckily, but the cats Did Not Want to go in the shed that night. Mike had to chase it out with a stick. Anyway, I think the skunks come to sort through the bird seed thrown out of the aviaries. Yum!
I work in an urban area (San Jose, CA). There’s a colony of feral cats living in the back of the office parking lot, whom my co-workers and I feed and have gotten fixed. (My wee gray kitty was rescued from there.) One day I was driving back there, and there were two skunks eating the cat food – in the middle of the afternoon! Needless to say, we’re now very careful of ‘stink bombs’ when we go out to feed the kitties!
So, CJ, how did the skunk smell get n the suitcase, sans skunk? Do tell.
We never figured it out, Windy, except that maybe some skunk pieces stuck to the underside of the car and before he could wash it the scent seeped into the trunk, suitcase and clothes. It was equal parts weird and hilarious.
D’awwww….
And it explains this post…
Squeee! I don’t care if they’re stanky, they be cute.
I’ve always thought skunks were cute… they just have a bit of the darkside in them.
That’s okay, I tend to squirt when I’m startled too.
And Taco is done with the coffee.
And to think, I actually thought it was a good idea to use real cream this morning.
le skunk de corey – Actually, skunks have terrible eyesight and rely on their noses to get around. Unfortunately, that means a skunk can walk right up to you without really seeing you and when you move, BAM! their defenses kick in./end le skunk de corey
*Scraps the idea for seeing eye skunks.*
‘Honey, something is wrong with the cat. It seems to have a really bad case of gas.’
FREE BUNNY
—————————————————————–
Free
honey badgerbunny. Found it trapped in a big hole in my backyard. If you remove it you may keep it for free.There are a couple of
coyotespuppies running around in the woods behind my house. The first person who finds them can take them for free. It’ll only cost you $10 each or both for $25.Free
college freshmenbonobos, perhaps slightly rabid. Pick up at Chipotle or Insomnia Cookies at 2 am, as many as you can carry.Insomnia Cookies?
*ponders this*
Are you telling me that my cookies have a sleep disorder?
*further ponders*
Damn, now I feel really bad for the cookies in my cookie jar.
Insomnia Cookies is one of the most brilliant triumphs of capitalism in the 21st century.
1. Establish delivery cookie shops near college campuses.
2. Open just before 4 PM and remain open into the wee hours of the night.
3. PROFIT!
That is actually kinda brilliant.
Over here the students rely on kebab houses. There’s one near us (we often get their menus through our door) which is actually called “Up All Night” – I can’t help feeling that’s not a good advert for the food.
“If you remove it you may keep it for free.” But I don’t care, and honey badger? Really doesn’t give a sh!t.
Free
ScorpionAnt Farm, up and running. Fun for the whole family! You must haul, but I’ll lend you a pair of work gloves.After all these year I finally understand. It wasn’t a bee infested truck. It was a portable bee hive! Marketing!
I think we’ve entered a whole new realm of cat math.
Oh no, not Skunk Calculus! I barely made it through Hedgehog Algebra.
I preferred Giraffe Geometry myself.
I didn’t do very well at Capybara Physics, but I thought the experiments were cute.
Did you have Dimsdale? I’ll bet you had Dimsdale.
Camille: I read that as “cat meth”. Der.
If you give cats meth, do they stay awake for two hours instead of one? Or would the act of smoking it make them so tired they’d have to take a nap?
Errr … yes.
Sparky’s Big Picture Book of Animals.
Lion. (picture of a tiger)
Manx. (picture of bobcat)
House Cat. (picture of skunk)
Bear. (picture of naked person)
Mouse. (picture of kangaroo)
Eel. (picture of rattle snake)
This is the little known Schrödinger’s polecat expiriment.
A polecat is penned up in a steel cage, along with the following device, a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges, and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a large flask of Febreze. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the polecat still stinks if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the stinky and minty fresh polecat mixed in equal parts.
Cap’n? Zat you?
Arr, Hammy has a little Capn’ in him!
Uh… that doesn’t look right… I’ll be in the corner.
Negative Skeletor.
Watch it, Hammy. When Negative Skeletor and Skeletor collide there is a quantum explosion that takes out the universe. So be careful with that.
That’s what He-man is here to prevent…
Yes, and your avvie so aptly depicts my vision of He-Man.
Do you intend to disarm Skeletor, and his evil minions, with a hearty dose of cuteness?
What a diabolical plan! It just might work!
[yawn! whisker adjustment]
Humans![ear flick]
That Schrödinger needs to stick to Beethoven. [paw wash]
The binary causality tree always fails as cats are far too smart to exist in a dimension where poison is poisonous to cats. [watches air currents; considers using extra dimension–yawns instead]
Atom decays/not decays; poison is/is not poisonous; cat alive/dead/in alternate dimension–n dimension problem fails binary simplicity. QEDF
[rolls over and is aloof]
I’m pretty sure this is a mistake, but Taco and Funky are in the box together. We may need a new box for tomorrow.
We can mix it up today too. Funky will wear the thong and I’ll fling poo!
Yay! And all I had to do was butcher Floyd!
Dang skippy you’ll need a new baux! We’ve already been squirting and stanking today. And Taco’s about to upchuck his coffee-with-cream. I’ll go ahead bring the baby wipes with me. And some scented candles.
PS: Maybe I should add Depends to that list.
*hands FM a ‘cat’*
Here you go, name’s Pepe.
Y’all play nice now!
Sparky thought if he called it a polecat, people might think he was trying to get rid of his ex-girlfriend who is a stripper. He didn’t want to mislead anyone.
How do you know he’s a polecat?
His name is Lech “Mittens” Walesa.
the wifey replied to a ad like that oncet.
unhaul cat u i said.
i alreddy fetched supper.
I’ve caught skunks in Havahart traps; they’re pretty docile in daytime when they’re half asleep and don’t have room in the trap to raise their tail and stomp their feet. I would pick up the trap, carry it without bouncing it around, put it down and open the door. In a minute or so the skunk might realize there was an exit strategy and amble out. I was never sprayed, and on occasion the skunk would be back in the trap for a free meal the next day.
I’d love to have a pet skunk, but they’re not legal in New Hampshire; Live Free or Thiols.
In the words of our beloved Llama-Nun (BBUH), “Not to be the old grumpy man who insists on telling stories about walking to school uphill both ways barefoot over broken glass,…
You left off “through snow up to my navel in July” and my cane-waving, but I still love you!
In Soviet Russia, cat hauls u.
Much to my surprise, Funky and Taco behaved pretty well in the box today! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Chuck Jones, wherever you are. 8)