YSaC, Vol. 1050: Incomprehensible edition!
party time
i have a very nive stereo pretty big to i have two tall speakers that has a 12 in each one and then a couple other speakers in it to and then it also has 3 smaller speakers i cant figure out how to post pics so jus email or text xxx-xxx-xxx make offer but i am realllllllllyyyyy wanting to trade for an ipgone 3g or 3gs…the speakers are fisher but imnot sure bout the reciever i dont remember i can text pics tho
Best I can tell, this guy wants us to have a party with his speakers. However, we all know what partying leads to … hangovers and headaches. Luckily, we have just the thing to help with that! Er, I think we do, anyway … I can’t really tell what this one says either.
do u got a pian on your body let me help u – $8
i put pictures up in box but u put this in the mikecowf for 2 mins and heat it up and put in on your body where it hurts and it will hep the pain go bye bye if u get one u will love it i like mine u may call or text me any time about thi at xxx xxx xxxx
I might be wrong here, but it seems to me that if a pian(o) fell on me,* this bit of scrap fabric and rice wouldn’t really do too much to help.
Thanks, tari99 and Mackenzie!
*If I learned nothing else from cartoons, I learned not to walk under a piano as it’s being hoisted fifty feet in the air for no apparent reason.
Let’s see, if we apply a generous dose of cat math…add the 3, divide by pi, and multiply by the infinity of insanity….and we get
*pulls catulator ear and narrowly avoids sharp-clawed swipe*
Ah…the answer is:
i haz a very pian speaker $8 12 in each box heat has three smaller mikecowf, heat up 2 mins trade for igpone and go bye bye.
Looks to me like for $8 Sparky will drop a heated piano on someone for you and you know…whack them off.
Wait, that’s not right is it?
Oh..whacked. For $8 you can get someone whacked with a heated piano.
Or an iPhone.
One of those.
An iPhone with a heated piano app.
Orrr….an igpone with a heated pian speaker app.
My Sparky-to-English translator must be getting better. Is it wrong that I immediately understood what “mikeowf” meant? It’s what you play videotapes in, right?
I traded my mikeowf for a toaster as I have a blu-ray player now so all my soda will be cold on its own.
For a split second I thought there was a cow named Mike involved, but yes, I got it far too quickly too.
Is Mike a ‘happy cow’? Cause the snark lounge needs more cheese.
I don’t think I want any cheese from a cow named “Mike”, especially if he’s happy.
“I don’t know what I did wrong, Pa – I pulled and pulled on that blasted cow’s teat until I thought it’d come off and didn’t get a drop of milk. Now that blasted thing’s following me around everywhere.”
jg ….I was picturing a herd of milk cows being serviced by Mikecow, but now I think I’m off all dairy products. Blech.
Sorry, LL. My inner nine-year-old always seems to rise up and make me interpret posts in the most disgusting way possible.
If you mean to say that you have a very naïve stereo, then it’s not the stereo.
Is it live or is it nive?
He stole it from a church, they kept it in the nave?
That’s all I’ve got.
At long last! I have found the Matryoshka Doll of speakers! How I have searched!
Problem is, it only plays Russian folk music, Russian ballet music, and People’s Worksongs for the Glory of Mother Russia.
ipgone: The newest in IP Address erasing technology.
I obviously need coffee. I read ipgone as an automatic urinal. The things people want these days…
Oh, such a good idea, L2! I should have thought of that. I haz a jealous.
automatic urinal
Reminds me of a book I read.
‘Fresh Minty Shell’
by I.P. Gone
It’s the latest and greatest open-proxy server.
Dude, I’ve been searching for an ipgone for a LONG time! I have all this pesty intellectual property hanging around and no clue how to get rid of it! Now I don’t have to worry about licensing it or making contracts or anything; I just push a button and IP-GONE!
Ooh, I know what the second one is! [corey] They are homemade heating pads, filled with dried beans, rice, or unscented kitty litter. It takes about ten minutes to make one on a sewing machine, a bit longer if you hand-sew them. You could save yourself eight bucks and just fill a sock with dried beans or rice and microwave it for a couple of minutes. Works great.[/corey]
AHHHHHH!!!
I understood a Sparky!
:hyperventilates:
[further corey] I got it, too, as I use one I bought at the drugstore for my neck – numerous ruptured discs, just don’t ask – and it works like a charm. [end further corey]
I feel for ya CJ, re the discs: Hubby had 2 rupture in his neck and as tough as he is they almost took him down. A round of silicone shots has kept his pain at bay for almost two years, knock on wood.
Oh yeah, had the shots…and woke up SCREAMING from the pain…not gonna do that again.
Three ruptured in neck, and four in lumbar/sacro region. Lower back, pain free – for the most part – due to yoga and pilates.
Neck…meh..not so much. Can’t really work out a neck, and since the rupture involves a good deal of “jelly” loss, my only recourse is pain meds…which I take, every day. Friggin’ hate having to, but I hate pain more. Lots more.
Oddly enough, the main issue with cervical ruptures is not always neck pain. It’s arm/shoulder pain and weakness. The numbness is interesting, too.
Eventually I will have to have surgery, but the surgeon said to wait until I cannot stand the pain or start losing mobility in my arms/hands before doing it. It’s risky and the results are not guaranteed.
Good times.
What the hell? Who is that old woman bitchin’ about her ailments?
*shakes cane at mirror*
Sigh….
FM, I have a question for you…in no way to minimize Hubby Monkey’s neck pain (been there, having that myself), were they silicone shots or cortisone shots? I’ve had cortisone for pain, but silicone made me think he got a neck enhancement. Inquiring minds…
Mine were cortisone. Don’t know about the monkey man.
I think that there’s a procedure where they inject silicone oil in between the vertebrae. I know it’s done for knees and other joints.
CJ – You were a rodeo bull rider in your younger days? Cool!
Coff – well, yeah…before that I was a WWE wrestler, and before that I was a linebacker for the Steelers…and before that I was a trapeze artist.
Of course, after the bull riding was over I became something much safer – a crash-test dummy for the big three auto makers.
Secretly, I did it because I think the jumpsuits are nifty.
Ghostie, here’s the flask.
Ahhh…
Thanks, I needed that.
[beanbag corey]they also chill in the freezer nicely, too–just make sure they are dry first. And set a timer, 15-30 minutes is enough; overnight tends to rupture the filler.
[/corey]
Sparky says: i have two tall speakers that has a 12 in each one and then a couple other speakers in it to
Translation: He screwed his speakers.
Sparky says: put in on your body where it hurts and it will hep the pain go bye bye
Translation: She’s saving money to send her current abusive significant other take a long trip.
Sparky says: imnot sure bout the reciever i dont remember i can text pics tho
Translation: Answer hazy, try again later.
:shakes magic 8 ball again:
I need a different sparky, dammit.
I got to go run monkey errands, but when Taco shows up, give him this.
*holds Taco thong up by pinky finger*
He let me borrow it yesterday. I didn’t have time to wash it for him, sorry. And I’m afraid I stretched it a bit. My butt is bigger than it used to be. Tell him to ignore the fur balls on it. And those, er, stains. Umm. Yeah.
He won’t need that until next Thursday. Today, he will be wearing his Friday thong. I know it’s confusing. The embroidery on the back is very tiny and difficult to see.
And there is no Sunday thong.
Because of God.
And, you know, ninjas.
With all due respect Miss CJ *hug*, I certainly hope there is a Sunday thong. Because if Taco goes thongless on Sunday, that would mean there is no God. Please, please…won’t someone think of the children?
Ooh, I spot a When Harry met Sally reference!
Yeah!! Ghostie!!! LOVE that movie.
I heard that if you say a word 286 times it will become a meme. I really want “mikecowf ” to become a meme…
mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf mikecowf
*to Mike* Honey, I think the YSaCers are getting back at you for the banana jokes.
SWIM AWAY LITTLE PEASKERS! SWIM AWAY!
I have this uncontrollable urge to start selling those pain pads with popping corn kernels sewn into them……..
Coff…you are a genius.
A brilliant, twisted genius.
I like you.
it’s a strange day here, it’s far too quiet.
i think it may be time to go to the v-e-t.
o, look, a nap, I’ll take that.
I have a strange feeling the Capn’s cat is ignoring us….again.
OT: Totally unrelated, unless “cats” are part of today’s discussion, comment follows:
I feed a feral cat here at work.
She’s named Abigail Pywacket, and I’ve been taking care of her since she was a wee kitten.
Abby greets me every morning and I feed her.
It’s a routine and we’ve got it down.
Today I went out at lunch and upon my return Abby came running up to the car, meowing.
I got out of the car and noticed her face was covered in….something.
She’s feral, so while she lets me pet her…it’s only when I’m about to feed her usually.
I decided whatever was on her face was bugging her – and I guess her constant blinking and head shakes was a big clue, too.
I knew the only way I could get close was to feed her again, so I went inside and got the food, then headed out to the back of the building to our normal rendezvous spot, Abby right next to me.
I poured the food and then leaned down to get a look.
Turns out it was cobwebs…something we have a LOT of here.
I put one hand on her head and was brushing the crap off her face when she suddenly did a 360, jumped several feet in the air and skittered away.
In the process, my left thumb somehow got caught in a piece of cat anatomy and twisted..badly.
So, now my left thumb is swollen, hurts like hell and I’m wondering how I’ll explain this to everyone.
Yes, I sprained my thumb feeding a cat.
I haz a talentz.
/end OT injury report
Just shrug and say “You know … ninjas.”
hungry cats will bite the middle of cobwebs as that sometimes nets a spider or egg sacks.
Hint for ferals, save old toothbrushes, and use them for face-brushing. The size is less-intimidating, and you have a long handle so the “big” hands are less close, too. Toothbrush also feels good about the whiskers and face, too.
*flipping a coin* Heads, I ask which part of the cat anatomy was involved, tails, I don’t ask.
🙁 CJ. Sorry your finger got hurt during the exercising of your talentz. I have a similar story to relate except that it involves a goat.
I lived, at the time, on a ranch out in a heavily agricultural area with crops and various livestock present. One day when I went out to hang some laundry, I spied a loose goat in my yard. It was well-cared for with a tag and a collar. I surmised that it was probably a 4-H goat that had gotten away. I went into the garage and grabbed a horse lead rope thinking I would snap it on and tie it up until someone came searching. Easy. Uh huh.
As I snapped the lead on the collar, the goat objected by dropping to the ground and rolling…taking the middle finger of my left hand with it in the collar. Major ouch.
You would think that would be enough of an insult considering that I wanted to SAVE it from getting out on the highway. But no. The goat had other things in mind.
When it got up from the ground, it bolted…right into my house. I had apparently left the door ajar. At this point, I am standing in my yard, holding my twisted finger and staring in disbelief at my house.
Do you all know what an animal does when it is frightened? I rushed into my house, fearing the worst. The goat had gone through my back porch, the laundry room, the kitchen and right on into the living room. Luckily, I keep my cool in situations such as this and calmly went around and closed all the doors to the other rooms, opened the front door, grabbed the fireplace poker and chased the goat around the room. It was obvious TO ME where the goat needed to go…not so obvious to the goat, however. It went into hiding behind the woodstove. Great.
At this point, I considered how my day was going to proceed. First things first. I called Mama Eyebrows and told her that I would be unable to meet her for lunch in town as planned because I had a broken finger and a goat in the house. This information was greeted by a prolonged period of silence and then the word “WHAT?!?” I very patiently explained the situation to her. She very impatiently told me, “”Your father and I will be right over.”
In conclusion, Papa Eyebrows took care of the goat (which by the way never despoiled my house, thankfully) and Mama Eyebrows took me to the hospital. After the medical staff dried their tears generated by their gales of laughter at my story, they relocated my finger and sent me on my way. Months of physical therapy resulted. I have more use of it than was expected, but I can only flip people a crooked bird. I guess compromise is a part of life.
You made me cry. ::dies::
O.M.G…Archie…
That was awful, and hilarious…and hilariously awful!
*wipes eyes*
My sides hurt.
“i have two tall speakers that has a 12 in each one and then a couple other speakers in it to and then it also has 3 smaller speakers”
Holy crap… Those are Inception speakers!
*urp* Can’t punch too hard. Full of sushi. Mmmmm.
CJ, Punchity Punch Punch.
G’Night, Kohavi and Provost!