YSaC, Vol. 1056: Does it have John Turturro too, or is this the French version?

2011 August 15

Hello Mr. Keyword Spammer – what do you have for us today?

———————–BIRDCAJE


cage birds, including the shelf , the caje is clean $ 40 ###-###-####

Keywords: Coralife, Aqualight, fresh water, salt water, aquarium, light, compact, fluorescent, lamps, fish, aquarium, bulbs, fish tank, led lights,oscar,fresh water, kamalau,black,silver spotted, florida, blood crab, snail, algae eater, datnoid, bichir, canister, fx5,fluval heater, goldfish, light, marine, anemone, marine light aqua soil corals shermdeazel, ricordia, xenia, zoos, saltwater, reef, coral, Culture, tiger,aquarium, angelfish, shrimp, live, liverock, saltwater, Food pellet pellets fixture, halide, bow front, tang, flower horn, cichlid, arowana, pleco, fish, discus, loach, eel, Goldfish, Catfish, coral, ricordea, zoos, zoanthid, flowerhorn ada aquariums t8 filter magnum emperor gar, flowerhorn, parrot Keyword: shark, freshwater, fluorescent, SEA CLEAR glass, cichlids, gar, zoo korallin fei feng, jardini, discus,filters, bichir knife,loach,ghost,bichir,datnoid,dat ammano discus blood acropora, SPS,LPS protein skimmer, sapphire, nano, nanocube, jbj, salt,anemone,frag,frags, arapaima,big fish tank,peacock bass,clown, cultures wet dry fresh water, crs fry cichlid, cichlids plexy co2 planted metal halide halides power worms, barb, pleco,Aquarium, catfish,pacu, African, great, rare, Odyssea gravel, canister, African, king kamfa, red dragon, golden monkey, cleaner worm HQI fluval driftwood, guppy brine amano reef T5 HO combo set up kit retrofit soft hard power compact hamilton protein skimmer alligator, gator, duster,zoas,refuge,chaeto,algae,macroalgae,sand free lights, fluorescent lighting tetra, , fluvals fresh water sump wet/dry coralife aqualight live filter,hydor, hood cherry tiger shrimp mushrooms, clams lfs plant tanks fishtank plexiglass acrylic corals, bichir, fish, arowana, datnoid, pleco, angelfish, dicus, fresh water, tropical,rock, compact pc t5 staghorn, fish, bowfront, airpump,UV light, good, deal, overflow wave maker wavemaker wavemakers stony flagtail,feifeng, rio koi kois yuma feather eheim substrate heater, ricordea, TRUVU, TRU VU, king kong parrot, flowerhorn, piranha,piranhas oscar lobster, shark, shrimp, amino deltec jbj mag drive betta stand, arowana

I would LOVE to see all those together in one birdcage. Especially the shark. Kim, who sent this in, says that she’s not sure what a shermdaezel is, but if it can go in a cage with an alligator, she wants one.

Of course, those mushrooms are pretty antisocial. I’m not sure how well they’d get on with the clown.

Thanks for the horror, Kim!

49 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 August 15

    It looks like Sparky put every word he knew into this ad.

    Adores: 6
  2. 2011 August 15
    funky monkey permalink

    After “wave maker wavemaker wavemakers”, does it say something about Eminem?

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 15
      Windrose permalink

      I don’t think so, FM. It says stony, not Slim Shady. Then again. . .

      Adores: 1
  3. 2011 August 15

    I have a breeding pair of lacawates valtrus-suka, and this is just about the perfect size. I could fill a beauty with Spice Christ and hang it the cage for them.

    Seriously, though, four mentions of bichir and one correct spelling of the actual item?

    Adores: 5
  4. 2011 August 15

    protein skimmer

    Finally I can get this headboard clean!

    Adores: 13
    • 2011 August 15
      funky monkey permalink

      Is it the whore side?

      Yes! I’ve been waiting for weeks and weeks to use that! I am SO cool! It’s going to be an awesome Monday!

      *does the happy happy joy joy dance at her desk*

      Adores: 14
  5. 2011 August 15

    *reads keywords, decides to change name to Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Stony Flagtail Feifings*

    But you can still call me “CJ” for short.

    Adores: 20
    • 2011 August 15
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Is that pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove?

      Adores: 9
  6. 2011 August 15
    The other Dave permalink

    I’m pretty sure that cleaner worm HQI fluval driftwood would make a lovely table for whatever you want. Unlike the dirty kind.

    Adores: 3
  7. 2011 August 15

    I bet Sparky was very surprised when he tried to fill his “birdcaje” with water for all those fish he has listed in that wall-o-text.

    Adores: 9
  8. 2011 August 15

    free misjay $40 birdcaje!

    Adores: 1
  9. 2011 August 15
    Windrose permalink

    That’s an excellent price for the cage, and no one else will find it by the keywords! Of course, doing business with this Sparky could be a mistake. The $40 is just to view the caje, then he chants “rio koi kois yuma feather” and turns you into a king kong parrot! I’ll have to think about it some more.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 August 15

      Is that a parrot so big it perches on skyscrapers and swats at planes?

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 August 16
        Windrose permalink

        Well, squawks at planes, but you have the idea. 8)

        Adores: 0
  10. 2011 August 15
    Lola permalink

    Birdcaje – the Brazilian version of “La Cage aux Folles”?

    That’s all I got. It’s Monday, I’m not caffeinated, and I spent the last four days cleaning and doing things around the house.

    Also: Isn’t it “Turturro”?
    /pedantry

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 15

      Fixed. It’s not so easy to write these posts from your cell phone when you’re on vacation.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 August 15

        *wishes she had drmk’s issues right about now…especially if it meant being somewhere cooler than here*

        Adores: 3
  11. 2011 August 15
    Cindy B. permalink

    I am always amazed at the intricate thought process that comes to the conclusion that people searching craigslist for a piranha might, upon finding this ad instead, change his mind and get a birdcage. I think psychologists should study Sparky’s brain, much like they do with serial killers, and perhaps find keys to the development (and therefore, prevention) of Sparkyism.

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 August 15

      I endorse Cindy’s plan to poke study Sparky’s brain.

      :wanders off to find a sharp stick:

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 August 15

        We’re also going to need lots of lemon juice!

        *Runs off to the store*

        Adores: 8
        • 2011 August 15

          And electrodes.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 15

          …and limes, tequila, salt….

          Adores: 7
      • 2011 August 15

        and we can keep it in a jar labelled “Abby Normal”

        Adores: 3
      • 2011 August 16
        Windrose permalink

        Here are some bullets in case you don’t find a sharp-enough stick.

        Adores: 1
  12. 2011 August 15

    Comment space for sale, suitable for bird, cat, dog, monkey, quiltsquare, or whatnot.
    .
    .
    .
    Keywords: Space, typewriter, paper, Payper, Elder Rosteria, knowledge, peanut butter, free, Caldonia, Dpack, elongated vowel movement, pendant, pencil, television, Gregarious Nature Squirrel, all the things, Simonize Artiste, sanswich, sandy, sandwich, Illusion Jackrabbit, Bea Arthur, Red table, roofer roofer roofer, ice thong, wit, whit, with, pirate ninja monkey robots from space, Lionel Ritchie cheese head, quiet t-shirt time, and now for something completely different, jailbait, corner, square ovals, Sparkles, Internet, pecil, towel, in a cup, 42, sammiches

    Adores: 18
  13. 2011 August 15

    Kumquat! Fallopian! Rumbled Bottom Walrus Emasculater! Turtle neck! Pecan Pie! Snarfblat!

    What? I thought we were suppose to spout of random gibberish. No? Poop.

    Adores: 8
  14. 2011 August 15
    lareina permalink

    Yeah, that’s totally strong enough to hold a King Kong Parrot. Just like a couple of ropes on a stage were enough to hold down the real Kong! …oh, wait.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 15
      Lola permalink

      lareina!!!! Welcome back!!! Sven will tend to you shortly.
      Meanwhile … *passes flask*

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 15
        Is.A.Manx permalink

        A Swedish cricketer . . . Hmm, learning one’s Overs in fjords could bulk a fella up a tad . . .

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 15
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Yeah, but is he pining for the fjords?

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 16
          Is.A.Manx permalink

          If so, he’d be a Norwegian Blue, and, ergo, the implacable and constant foe of the Swenske Whits–why the Test would become a Pekinpah movie at best . . .

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 16
          lareina permalink

          ‘Swedish cricketer’ sounds like a Muppet Show sketch that needs to happen.

          Adores: 4
  15. 2011 August 15
    SpaceBug permalink

    What, with all the references to freshwater, saltwater, goldfish, a golden monkey and wavestarters, I’d’ve expected a golden shower in there somewhere.

    corner?

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 15

      Oh man, urine trouble now!

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 15
      funky monkey permalink

      Yeah, and you better behave yourself in the corner. Make sure to dot your I’s and cross your tee tees.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 15
      Windrose permalink

      And what’s with the quilt square? Get back into your avitar right now or you will be shunned!

      Adores: 4
  16. 2011 August 15
    CoffDrop permalink

    Reading this ad, Monty Python’s Cheese Shop Skit comes to mind:

    Me: Do you have a Coralife?
    Sparky: I’m afraid we’re fresh out of Coralife.

    Me: OK, how about a fine Bichir?
    Sparky: Never at the end of the week, sir. Always get them fresh on Monday.

    Me: Yes well, I need a fluval heater…….
    Sparky: It’s been on order for two weeks, sir. I was expectiog it this morning

    Me: Oscar lobster?
    Sparky: Sorry………

    And on and on – ad nauseam………….

    Adores: 7
  17. 2011 August 15
    Is.A.Manx permalink

    Ahem.
    “[A]nemone” is spelt correctly, but “caje” is not?

    Odd thought: “cadge” (sometimes “caje” or “cadje”) is to acquire by wheedling or ad hoc barter. Sometimes associated with “cumshaw” a SW Pacific pidgin term for sequential trading ( a to get b; b to get c; c to get d; all to trade d for the desired e).

    [rolls over to nap more]

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 15

      “Where do you live, Nemo?”

      “In an anemmmoo, an amenemee, uh…uh…”

      “It’s okay, don’t hurt yourself.”

      Adores: 7
  18. 2011 August 15
    ToBScholarly permalink

    bow front, tang

    I think I saw them in concert once.

    Adores: 3
  19. 2011 August 15

    “wet dry fresh water”

    Wet dry water… is THAT how they are able to keep fish in a bird cage?

    Adores: 3
  20. 2011 August 15
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Forget the caje. I want the original plan to Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge set!

    Adores: 2
  21. 2011 August 15

    That’s a very silly line.
    Sit down.

    Adores: 3
  22. 2011 August 15
    tigprincess permalink

    at last a practical illustration of verbal diarrhoea – thanks Sparky

    Adores: 0
  23. 2011 August 15

    I went to the National Aquarium yesterday. It was a lot more interesting that this ad, though there might not have been as many words…

    Adores: 2
  24. 2011 August 16
    Windrose permalink

    Who have we got in the box? Oh, right, Hammy. Cute puppy you!

    Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Bedlam!

    Adores: 2

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