YSaC, Vol. 1067: Thank God I’m a …

2011 August 30

neddle art – $50


this pillow can be used for your chair or a grate gift for birthdays, christmass.ect all new produts used all by hand all home made. this cuntry girl is blue and dark red took me a moth to do . these pillows are 18x 18. and all so can be persnalized .ask how. this one is sold as is. thank you.

 

I was really hoping I could get her to personalize this one with the title of “Cuntry Girl”.

Thanks for the link, Kim!

101 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 August 30
    Gary permalink

    “Would you like me to personalize that for you?”
    “I don’t think so, thanks anyways”

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 August 30
      Windrose permalink

      Hi new person! Welcome!

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 30
      Lola permalink

      Hi, Gary! Our posts aren’t always like this. About the comments, I cannot say the same things.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 30

      If you need any coffee, Gary, we have slices in the corner fresh out of the oven-pot.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 30
      Spaceman.Spiff permalink

      Given that

      all new produts used all by hand

      some how that seems to suggest far too much “alone time” is involved (even if alleged to have taken a month to “do”).

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 30
        Lola permalink

        Quiet pillow time?

        Ew. EW.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 30

          After a while that pillow would be a hard on to fluff up.

          Adores: 4
  2. 2011 August 30
    TheCarpathian permalink

    It took them a moth to do? Must be pure silk, then.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 August 30
      Windrose permalink

      Hi, other new person! Welcome!

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 30

        Hi person welcoming the new person!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 30
          funky monkey permalink

          Hi person saying howdy to the new person welcoming the new person.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 30
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          Number One, the Larch.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 30

          Hi Larch!

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 30
      Lola permalink

      Dear Carpathian,
      Welcome.
      Please don’t bite me.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 30

        Howdy Carpathian!

        I’m fine with some light nibbling, just don’t touch my toes.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 30

          Vego, Vego, Vego. You’ve been a naughty monkey!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 30
          funky monkey permalink

          Hey hey!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 30

          Give me angry! C’mon, yeah, yeah, yeah!

          I’ve worked with better.

          But not many.

          Adores: 3
      • 2011 August 30
        TheCarpathian permalink

        Thank you all. I lurk frequently, but post only rarely (and haven’t for a while). As far as biting… no promises, but as long as I’m amused, I generally won’t bite.

        Adores: 5
  3. 2011 August 30
    funky monkey permalink

    “used all by hand”

    Er, um. Ew.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2011 August 30
    LimeLolly permalink

    Neddling is the art of teasing things with fur. It usually involves a trip to the doctor shortly thereafter.

    Adores: 2
  5. 2011 August 30

    I…umm…soooo many….

    I…ermmm…

    I have absolutely no idea how to respond to this…because, you know…ninjas.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 30
      Lola permalink

      That was me, earlier, CJ. This was up before I left home, and I would have responded except I don’t know how to transcribe one’s mouth opening and closing and eyes blinking like a puzzled goldfish … I’m pretty sure that’s what I looked like.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 August 30
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Do you hear minor seconds played on a xylophone when you blink at the ad? Because that’s totally happening for me.

        Adores: 13
        • 2011 August 30
          Dan permalink

          I’m an admin – why can’t I figure out how to give this post more than one “adore?”

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 30
          Windrose permalink

          The best I can think of, Dan, is to add a line to the post stating this comment has been awarded elebenty million adores.

          Adores: 2
  6. 2011 August 30

    Hey! I’ve been to that cuntry.

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 August 30

      A gentleman never tells.

      :pulls chair closer:

      So tell!

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 30

      I had the opportunity, but I didn’t go. Too swampy for my taste.

      Hey look the coffee slices have caremel whipped topping today!

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 August 30
        Lola permalink

        Caremel = caramel made with extra care by cuntry girls.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 30

          Crap. There’s a word I don’t often misspell, given my love of all things caramel.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 30
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          In that case, I don’t wanna know who made the whipped topping.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 30
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          Churned the clotted cream, mayhaps?

          [ow! that’s a corner!]

          Adores: 2
  7. 2011 August 30
    funky monkey permalink

    How I loved John Denver!

    You can give it for a birthday
    You can give it for Christmas
    You can personalize it
    And give it to Aunt Eunice

    If you give to your grandma
    She’ll give your ass a big kiss!
    God save us from cuntry girls!!!

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 30
      Windrose permalink

      Yeah, life on the farm is kinda laid back,
      Ain’t nothin’ that a cuntry girl, she can’t hack.
      Early to rise, early in the sack,
      Thank God I’m a cuntry girl.

      I finally understand that song. 8)

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 August 30
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        I grew up in the sticks.

        We didn’t need a song to figure all that out. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Adores: 3
  8. 2011 August 30

    a grate gift for birthdays

    I’m sure it would be very grating to receive that.

    this one is sold as is.

    The others have one-year warranties for parts and labor.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 August 30

      Must be nice to have lemon laws in your state.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 30
      Windrose permalink

      I think Sparky means grate as in it will be tossed in the fireplace soon after it’s received.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 August 30
        Spaceman.Spiff permalink

        That, or Spark’ is used to seeing their “craft” put through a shredder . . .

        [shudder]or it’s an obscure reference to cole slaw “dressing” [shudder]

        Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 30
      Lola permalink

      Better deal than most of that kind of girls I’ve known, then.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 30
      mudslicker permalink

      I think Sparky meant to say, “This one is soiled as is.”

      Adores: 8
    • 2011 August 30

      I don’t know what everyone is complaining about. I’ve always thought that the cuntry girl has great pillows.

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 30
      drmk permalink

      The others have one-year warranties for parts and labor.

      But not on spelling.

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 August 30
      ToBScholarly permalink

      A finely crafted grate would be a welcome gift! No one has ever gotten me a grate before.

      Adores: 0
  9. 2011 August 30

    :squints at photo:

    :tilts head:

    :closes one eye and hops on one foot:

    You know – if you look at it just right, it does sort of resemble a c…

    Hi, corner! I didn’t see you there.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 30

      Clam.

      It resembles a clam.

      Oh…wait…

      Hey, any coffee slices left over there ghostie?

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 August 30

        Just a couple of amaretto-banana, but there’s a loaf in the oven-pot.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 30

          We better get out the big cistern-pan. I have a feeling we’re going to need to make lots of coffee slices today.

          We might as well declare today to be a corner open house.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 30
          nonsensicalcat permalink

          Hmm. There aren’t enough chairs in the corner for all of us. I’ll bring in some pillows…

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 30

          That’s okay, I think I’ll just stand.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 30
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          ok, over the weekend, I saw a craft article on making pillow covers from

          [drumroll]

          t-shirts.

          Leave it to Sparki to be ahead of that curve . . .

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 30
          Lola permalink

          Quiet t-shit pillow alone time?

          *hoses out corner with brain- and eye-bleach*

          Adores: 5
  10. 2011 August 30

    Neddle Neddle Neddle, I made it out of thread
    Neddle Neddle Neddle, cuntry girl is blue and red!

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 30
      mudslicker permalink

      This cuntry girl is dark red and blue
      And took me a moth to do.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 30

        I think the cuntry girl is half full…

        I’ll be in the corner.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 30
          mudslicker permalink

          Here…let me personalize that for you….

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 30
      Lola permalink

      cuntry girl is blue and red

      I really, really, really don’t want to know why. That sounds painful.

      Adores: 5
  11. 2011 August 30
    CoffDrop permalink

    Things that I didn’t know grew on trees………

    Adores: 1
  12. 2011 August 30

    So uh….

    uhh……….

    *Looks around uncomfortably*

    Shoudln’t there be a hole in that pillow?

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 30
      Windrose permalink

      Good thing you’re already in the corner!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 30
        Lola permalink

        Pretty sure the Snark Lounge is one big corner, today.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 30

          I thought we renamed the snark lounge “The Corner” after that day when the innuendo got out of hand.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 30

          You’re going to have to be more specific than that.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 30
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          It’s way more fun when the innuendo is in hand… *cigarwaggle*

          Adores: 10
        • 2011 August 30

          Isn’t that “In-your-end-oh”?

          Adores: 1
  13. 2011 August 30

    It’s posts (and comments) like today’s that get YSaC classified as a hardcore pornography site. For shame.

    We should all sit in the corner and think about what we’ve done… and try not to laugh so much when we’re thinking about it.

    Adores: 9
  14. 2011 August 30
    Karmyn permalink

    So that’s what she’s hiding under that skirt.
    I’ll be in the corner.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2011 August 30
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    “Persnalized.” That’s a funny way to spell “pecil.”

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 30

      I don’t care how it’s spelled, no amount of alcohol persuading would ever convince me to personalize it with a neddle.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 30
        Lola permalink

        That may be because you don’t have a pecil, CJ.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 30
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          As a general rule, pecils ought be needle (and nettle) free zones.

          [thud]corner has a corner?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 30
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Recursive Corner is the name of my Vertical Horizon cover band.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 August 30

          Lola – darling do you know how hard difficult it is to remain a lady and not respond to your pecil observation?

          Damned hard difficult, I tell you.

          Like being solid as a rock hard difficult.

          It’s a throbbing painfully, hard, difficult task to accomplish.

          I’m just glad I’m up to it.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 August 30
          Lola permalink

          CJ, I heart ye (TM FM) and your html skills! 8)

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 30
          funky monkey permalink

          Hey CJ, do you need a cig after that post? I think I do.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 30
          Lola permalink

          In rereading CJ’s post, it becomes less funny and more alarming when I think abou the “From Behind … Suddenly” part.

          Adores: 1
  16. 2011 August 30
    Evil Spud Boy permalink

    This girl should see YSaC vol 803 for some nice signage with which she could advertise her business.

    Adores: 5
  17. 2011 August 30
    MandaB permalink

    I believe Cuntry Girl is part of Playboy University’s “Study A Broad” program.

    Adores: 17
  18. 2011 August 30
    mudslicker permalink

    Dear Sparky:

    I would like to place an order for 100 of your chair-grate pillows. Enclosed is my check for $50K. How many moths will it take to fill this order? I need them for my website christmass.ect., so sew fast.

    p.s. are “produts” some sort of new professional donut hybrid?

    Adores: 3
  19. 2011 August 30

    Got a telegram from the line earlier.

    No. (stop)

    Effin. (stop)

    Way. (stop)

    Something tells me the line won’t be returning…umm…ever.

    Adores: 5
  20. 2011 August 30
    Windrose permalink

    OT — Eclectic Blue needs our love and support today.

    Adores: 4
  21. 2011 August 30
    CraigsLister permalink

    Sparky McDaniels hear
    all y’all keep picking on us craigslisters but i see nothin’ wrong with cuntry girls fact is i knowed i cuntry gal oncet bless her heart
    so i recomposed a tune bout this cuntry gal


    Daisy went down to Georgia, she was looking to neddle and sew.
    She was in a bind ‘cos she was way behind, her OBO’s were runnin’ low.
    When her Christmass gifts and grate birthday gifts turned out that they weren’t so hot.
    That’s when Daisy pumped a craigslist ad and said: “boys let me tell you what:”
    “I bet you didn’t know it, but I’m a cuntry girl too.”
    “And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a deal for you.”
    “Now you’ve got some pretty good lookers here, but give this girl her due:”
    “I’ll set my pillows against all yourn, ‘cos I’ll personalize it for you.”
    A boy said: “My name’s Johnny and it might be a sin,
    But open your doors, for you won’t regret, ‘cos I’m gonna fetch my kin.”

    Johnny you rosin up your bow and play that tune right smart.
    ‘Cos hells broke loose in Georgia and Daisy deals in hearts.
    And when you’re done you get this silky pillow for your chair.
    But pay up front, a price she thinks is fair.

    So Daisy opened up her house and she said: “I’ll start this show.”
    A moth flew by her fingertips as she took up neddle to sew.
    And she made new produts used all by hand and started her customer list.
    Many’s a kith an’ kin came in and the business got so brisk.
    And when they’d finished, Daisy thought: another hunnert bucks a throw.
    “Cos I personalize, each one, there’s the stain that you can show.”

    Fire on the mountain, run boys, run.
    Daisy’s opened house and she’ll sit your son.
    Daisy on a pillow, rakin’ in dough.
    “Granny, can I go there?”
    “No, child, no.”

    Now Daisy bowed her head because her straits had gotten dire.
    She hung her pillows up and she roused the menfolk’s ire.
    Johnny said: “Daisy just come on back if you ever get it fixed.”
    But Daisy said: “You broke my cyst, I’m done with all you hicks.”

    Fire on the mountain, run boys, run.
    Daisy’s opened house and she’ll sit your son.
    Daisy on a pillow, rakin’ in dough.
    “Granny, can I go there?”
    “No, child, no.”

    I know, corner…

    Adores: 5
  22. 2011 August 30
    Ralph permalink

    “…took me a moth to do.” When moths make a to-do, they start crying. Did you ever see an old moth bawl?

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 30
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Gotta have a magnifying glass to see moth bawls.

      Adores: 4
  23. 2011 August 31
    Windrose permalink

    FM, this is going to hurt you more than it does me. 8) A lot of alots more.
    Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, JOHN MARTIN SOMMERS!

    Adores: 0
  24. 2011 September 6
    Tikal permalink

    I don’t comment much, but I had to post and say that this post has unfortunately gotten this song (‘Cuntry Boner’) stuck in my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zc88O04XCV8

    ^ NSFW, by the way. It might also pollute your soul. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    Any suggestions for a replacement earworm?

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 September 6
      LimeLolly permalink

      Are you a famous person? My reply depends on whether your answer is yes or no.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 September 7
        Tikal permalink

        Er, only in my own mind. Yourself?

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 September 7
          LimeLolly permalink

          Yes. I am the Queen of Denial… perhaps you’ve heard of me?

          And a new earworm: Donnie and Marie Osmond’s I’m A Little Bit Country…. there… isn’t that better? ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0

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