YSaC, Vol. 1075: Chickens are decent people.
2011 September 9
Different types of furniture
40′ Big Screen TV- 125
Mirror 3ft by 5 ft- 50
Camcorder- 60
BB guns automatic-60
M4 Rifle- 80
Pistol – 303 Chickens 5 weeks old- 10 each
Fooseball Table- 125
babycrib- 40
600 bundle for 500 Cash
also would accept trades
I’m trying to figure out who would want to buy chickens, an assault rifle, a camcorder, a mirror, and a crib as a bundle. The best I can figure out, someone is planning on making a serial killer baby chicken-butcher movie, which they would artfully film in reverse by pointing the camcorder at the mirror, and then playing it back on the 40 foot television while playing foosball.
In other news, chickens are furniture now.
Thanks, Nicole!
Chickens, weapons, and camcorders are all furniture. Good to know.
Maybe you can keep the chickens in the crib when not training them to take part in your chicken militia. They can use the mirror to adjust their tiny gas masks (or whatever that is in Fig. 1). The camcorder is used to film the best performing chickens for display on the TV to future chicken recruits. For R&R, they get to play foosball.
[mask corey] It looks like the safety gear (goggles and face mask) worn by paintball and airsoft players to protect their faces from stray shots.[/corey]
It’s that or Jason has gone goth emo.
All the weapons have orange tips. Doesn’t that indicate they are not actual bullet firing weapons?
Yep. The orange tip means it’s a replica or toy gun, so they are probably airsoft guns and not actual BB guns.
The better to shoot grandma with.
You ever tried to sit on a chicken?
NOT.A.CHAIR!
No, but the cocks … uh …
*corner*
Hi Lola, Windy sent me to the corner earlier…Could you hold my cock and pullet for a minute while I get a drink?
What?
But Windy!?!? I’m already in the corner!
Once when I was already in the corner I was handed a shovel and told to dig. I left it there, find it under Taco’s thong.
Anything under the thong stays under the thong…
That is what we all fervently pray.
Apparently the TV is as big as the broad side of a barn. Forty feet! WHEW. I wonder if it’s plasma.
EDIT: and yeah, that’s already been pointed out. But I didn’t think the chickens in the back heard it.
Oy.
It’s good to be prepared for the…. CHICKEN APOCALYPSE.
It is as was once prophesied – “And lo,the nuggets shall rise up against man and barbecue sauce shall flow across the land!”
I read about this once, it’s part of the Roostafari religion.
From what I understand, the most famous Roostafarian is Bawk Marley.
Brazilian doors to both of you. I love you people. For the chickens in the crowd: bawk bawk bawk bagawk!
Ah yes, the chickbokalypse. I’ve dreaded it.
I prefer it breaded.
It would have been nice if Sparky had posted a picture of his chicken/furniture. I’ve been looking for a Laz-E-Boy reclinirooster.
Don’t you mean a Laz-E-Bok?
I also wanted a picture of a chick. Chicks should be armed with the masks and airsoft guns but kept in the crib to ambush nosey relatives or neighbors. That kind of makes them a piece of furniture. Deadly feathered minions of Sparky. If we change that to mean chicks of the human kind then you get a new kind of furniture featured in some freaky porn.
I guess there are no fat kids wearing native hats in this dude’s tv viewing area. And the pic of the chickens didn’t turn out because…..you know…..chickens.
Or possibly chicken ninjas – maybe that’s what the black mask is for.
I ordered the Ninja McNuggets the other day, but all I got was an empty box.
We all know those aren’t made out of real chicken. But they are made out of real McNinjas
Chicken please!
Ninja, please!
Wherever you are. I can’t see you.
Chicken Ninjas are the worst. They look all cute and harmless until suddenly VOOM! you’re missing an arm and the family has gone vegan.
Looks like everything you would need to film, “Rambo, the early years.”
AKA, “Rambo First Steps.”
“Rambo – Extra Crispy”
I’ve been longing to redecorate my living room in Early Chicken. And he takes trades! Maybe I can trade him my previous decor theme, Mid-Century Swine.
Might not be such a great idea, people would always be pulling up to your window trying to order the 15 piece bucket.
Might not be so easy – my apartment’s on the fifth floor.
Then you’re safe unless one of the Jetsons gets the munchies.
[Flashback of Mr Pak in his floating sampan/restaurant–q.v. Fifth Element]
Look what the chicken dragged in! Times are hard, and Sparky McWattlehead must sell off his prized possessions, including the three youngest chicks in the flock. Oh well, at least the chicks are weapons trained and eager to help their new owners take over the world! I bet they start by cutting the power grid in Southern Calif
Are you pondering what I’m pondering Windy?
This is a realy comfy chair. I just wish it would lay more eggs.
Just watch out for the pecker if you wear your thong…
Corner, again?
Hammy, Corner.
Taco, if it stops producing eggs, you can always make Chair Noodle Soup.
Ok *pouts*
*gets out frying pan*
Anyone care to have some green chair eggs with Hammy?
I do not like green chair eggs with Hammy.
I do not like them in Miami.
IT’S A TRAP!
How about in your jammies?
Or with fava beans and a nice Chianti?
[off topic]
I have a rather nice Ruffino Chianti, and no one locally who drinks red.
[/ot]
I do not want them in a crib
I will not eat them with a bib
I do not like them, Ham the Can
I am not a Green Chair Eggs fan
I would not eat them in a mask
Not even with a shot from Lola’s flask
I do not like them, Ham the Can
I am passing a Green Chair Eggs ban
Seuss may have just flown the coop
Come on, people! Chair Noodle Soup! It’s funny!
It’s never funny when you have to floss the lint out of your teeth. And don’t get me started on the staples and splinters….
Ooh…look! It’s SpongeBob SquarePants reflectoporn on the TV.
“I see dead
peoplechickens!”GARY!
I stared at the mirror pic.
I blinked and stared again.
All I could think was – why, for the love of all that is holy, do you have so many ball caps lined up on the bed???
Maybe that’s a dresser–the mirror is alleged to be 3′ x 5′, and the caps are above it.
As to quantity, well, I’ve eight (+1) ‘everyday’ gimmees, and another 10 (+2) ‘other’ caps.
Yes, SpaceCapn…but I am convinced they are perched on a bedspread and I’m pretty sure you don’t store yours on the bed.
Do you?
*backs away slowly..just in case*
Racks on wall; another rack on inside of a closet door.
Just like any other well-armed poultry would.
That helmet is staring into my soul…
*looks over to the right*
Heyyy…that’s me…in the bawks!
So, umm…I assume these lederhosen are IF’s?
You may not want to check the underwear drawer too closely if it jingles when you open it.
Oh, yeah, CJ, you’re in the box today. The telegram must have been delayed.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I found the ad for this. My immediate reaction was “HOLY MACKEREL! JUST WHAT I NEED FOR MY “COLLECTION”!” and then I remembered I don’t have a “collection”. So, instead of buying this awesome bundle I could use during a zombie apocalypse, I sent the ad to YSaC.
I think some of the pieces were missing anyway.
More than a few of the pieces are missing. And that before we start Glasgow assessing Spark’ . . .
Dang it, my Adores are “broke” again. 4 straight days working, now back to random.
Sparky’s missing *something,* that’s for sure.
(o/t)
Hubby Monkey had yesterday off and he replaced the wireless brower and I now have the internets on my laptop again! Woo hoo! I can now use my puter at home for something other than an entertainment center.
Hubby rocks. Even if it took him months to do it, he rocks. I think I’ll keep him. Now if I can just get him to hang that shelf fer me.
*digs sexy Monkey panties out of drawer*
Turn your heads, y’all.
Battery operated tweezers?
Monkeys be hairy.
Er, I meant “browser”. IT’S TACO’S FAULT!
Monkey ain’t hairy, monkey be “natural”. Thank you.
I was thinking of monkeys in general but thanks for sharing, Peachfuzz.
Darn it, y’all just cheated me out of bird seed I could have earned by correcting that! I hope you’re happy!
Monkeyplease, we had to go there, and you know it. <G>
Is anyone wondering where the baby from that crib went?
Nope.
Was presuming the modern usage where “crib” = “pied-à-terre” which, in this case was a Malibuchicken Barbie (House) and was just not photographed.
That, and any speculation on Sparki breeding always causes my mind to skip over those bits like a victrola in a tornado.
See, this is where I have to wonder if they mean a “baby crib” or a “babycrib”. I think in this case, they mean the crib is small and young. Somewhere, there are two grown cribs searching for their baby crib. Poor cribs.
Hey, Nicole! Are you part of Dave’s ferret tribe?
CJ, my computer shut down just when I was about to give you this: Punchity Punch Punch! Hopefully Mike can get my replacement pc working this weekend and it won’t be a problem any more.
G’Morning, Marche aux Puces!
Are they decorator chickens? I find using chickens brings a certain… outdoorsy feel to a room. That and the smell of chicken poop and feathers covering everything.
I just have to say that Roger Ebert put this site in a tweet the other day and I have been parked here since laughing until I cried! This site rocks my world!!!
Welcome, Vetty! Please read and comment more often!
Why, no. I am not, Windrose. I was the original ferret face here. Dave stole my idea and left me no credit. Typical ferreter.