YSaC, Vol. 1112: Nobody ever sings the second verse.
2011 November 1
kitthen free
we to give free who like then they keep mouse way for peolpe who like livne
in field when grass long yes those longn thing we have 4 cute kitthen all they need
it like food water awarm home or barn with hay after we buy thing you on line
but get phone people ask about then com e over but call or shown up or hange up
when tell some well for m ich i hate here people here rude stuc k up back kind heart
xxx-xxx-xxxx thanks you
Thanks for the submission, Chad!
Call or shown up or hange up. That’s life. That’s what people say. Given free kittens in November, neutering cats in May.
It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.
I been a muppet, a coffer, a frigate, a poet;
A prawn and a thing.
I been up and down and over and out;
And I know one thing;
Each line I try myself, cats on my face!
I just pick the mouse up and fit water in the cage!
That’s light!
*sighs…*
I just love the old standards.
A female chicken belonging to David Hasselhoff’s car.
I figured that it was genetic engineering gone horribly wrong.
So do catroosters (catoosters?) meow at the crack of dawn?
Mine is overambitious (or chronologically challenged). She starts around 4:30 am – a bit before the crack of dawn.
Also, is dawn a plumber?
“who like then they keep mouse way for peolpe who like livne in field when grass long”
So what I get from this is… there are people who like living in a field when the grass is long, but not if there are mice.
[matt]Those mousists[/matt]
“we to give free who like then they keep mouse way for peolpe who like livne”
And the mice apparently kill people.
the vampire rat holding the unbubbler in my avatar approves
We blit this cidy on kitthen free!
Indeed we did, Taco, but remember, that was only after a long time of going thorough the dessert on a hoarse wiht no naeme.
Or maybe it was a hearse wiht no naeme. That was so many bees ago, I can barely remember.
*removes hat and places hand on heart*
I think we have a new YSaC anthem.
“The Spark-spangled Posting”
Not spangled, mangled.
Common mistake.
Written by classic poet Francis Scott Kitthen.
As a public service, I’ve translated to German and then back to English:
kitthen free
————————————————– ——————————
We share that you hold the mouse button the way for peolpe like how Livne in the field when the grass is long indeed the Longnes what we have 4 cute kitthen everything they need it, such as food water awarm home or barn with hay, when we buy something on line .
But then people ask about getting phone com e, but by phone or show up or to cleave
While some say also I m here, I hate the people here are unfriendly stuc k back up good heart
xxx-xxx-xxxx thanks you
Much better, camille, muuuuuuuuch better.
I… I…
“when tell some well for m ich i hate here people here rude stuc k up back kind heart”
Sounds like junior high school. Or at least how I described it in my angst-filled poetry I wrote at 14, when I was full of FEELINGS.
sounds like when I try to type without looking at the keyboard
Is that to the “Born Free” tune?
Kittehs for free!
For where long the grass grows
Keep warm when the snow blows
Kittehs free
For youse with kind heart
Beauthiftul, Funky.
*wihpes teahr*
Careful what you wihpe it on. Those things can stain.
Thank you! And, reminding you of Bob Barker reminding you: Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered.
*Price is Right music*
*jots down PSA*
Ooops…here I thought it was always, “Have your sparky spayed or neutered.”
My bad.
Well, you can’t have him un-neutered now, so best not to fret about it.
Have your spider paid and frittered.
It makes perfect sense to me.
I see the LolCat Lyrics site is now up.
“Weur in ur muhzik
Writin ur sohngz”
Oh, the ad was written by the kitthens! Of course! Suddenly it makes so much more sense.
They’re actually giving away the owners…
Because they want smarter ones? Good call …
Clearly the owners haven’t been meeting their needs for mouse-filled fields, food, water, and barns with hay.
I can only imagine what would happen if my own kitthens had internet access.
“Vet food only! Catnip rolled in raw meat! Automatic can opener! THIS IS ALL WE NEED!”
is “kitthenfree’ the 21st century version of the old ‘kiss and tell’ game I used to play last century?
It’s the new version of Olly Olly Oxen Free; they changed it to “Sparky Sparky Kitthenfree”.
I love that this comment and response are between two feline avatars.
Thank you, because I wouldn’t know WHAT the hell a kitthen needed if you didn’t tell me that. And that’s almost more embarrassing than the time I showed up to work and they told me I needed to wear clothes.
Of Mice and Meow?
If the first verse is sung at major sporting events, is this the verse that’s sung at minor ones? Or is this just the way the first verse sounds after the third championship round of collegiate fraternity beer pong?
In my experience biking past frat houses daily, the official anthem of the third championship round of beer pong is Pearl Jam’s Alive.
It sounds a lot like British police sirens mashed up with the wailings of rabid three-legged wolves being attacked by squirrels on meth.
I think that’s what they were playing during beer pong at frats when I was in college, too – back when the song was actually new. Anyone else suspect that it’s some of the same, always-five-credits-shy-of-graduating frat guys now, just like it was then?
I used to live within a good tee shot of the Francis Scott Key bridge, and I had always thought that they should use that musical pavement technology to make it play the Anthem as you drove over it.
[corey] Key didn’t write the music, only the words. The melody was written by a Brit. [/corey]
And yes, that musical pavement would be awesome there! However, can you imagine how insane the people that lived near it enough to hear it constantly would be?
Angel, if by “insane” you mean “patriotic,” you can have my share of sanity. Some of us actually love this country.
You’ve got me there – no better song to have playing in your head all day and night every day and night!
Perhaps if more people heard it in the pavement, they’d sing it correctly.
My Anthem Corey Pet Peeves:
-People who turn it into a 4/4 meter
-People who run through 5 notes for ‘banner’ in the last strain. It’s four. There’s a jump.
It’s actually illegal here in the great state of Michigan to perform the anthem basically any different than straight-up. Which effectively shelves the John Williams Does the Anthem version I arranged a bunch of years back.
I’ll add a pet peeve to that list:
People who church it up or sing it real slow and pretty.
It’s not Amazing Grace, people.
It. Is. A. Song. About. War.
And, seriously, if you are playing it at a live sporting event, don’t fuck with the arrangement. Some of us like to sing along.
I think the bridge playing the anthem every time a car drove over it would be a bit much. How about just when IF hits it with a golf ball?
I agree with the basic premise of this ad, that mean people suck. Nice people swallow. Oof! Corners aren’t supposed to travel that fast, are they?
Um… Windy?
I’m not sure you unblubled that quite right.
Back To School, Sparkette.
“…I was a kitthen of the grass field yes when I keep mouse away for people like the back kind heart used or shall I water awarm yes and how we buy thing you on line and I thought home or barn with hay and then I asked we to give free who to free again yes and then asked about then com e over yes but call yes my 4 cute kitthen and first I but get phone peolpe ask yes and like livne in grass those longn thing need like food yes when tell some well for m ich i hate and yes here rude yes stuc k up yes.”
Meowly Bloom’s soliloquy – always a favorite of mine.
So, the next verse is the one about that Mexican feller who can’t see, right?
Hah! I get it! Jose!
Sorry, I’m always behind.
Our house was overrun by disgusting kitthens. But no more, thanks to kitthen free, the new kitthen traps from Ronco™!
Just set out your kitthen free in the evening, and the next morning you kitthen problems are over! Just empty the kitthen free in the trash, and enjoy your fully kitthen free home!
Thanks kitthen free!
Order now and get 2 free pupheh frees!
Bianchi, posting that next to your avatar is … an interesting juxtapostion.
And I wish I could fling more doors at you!
I’m hearing it as “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”.
But then again, I did just get back from Walmart, where every day is Xmas.
…and every night is prom night.
Even Yoda would have trouble with this one.
Mr. Sound, sir, here is your Punchity Punch Punch! I got up early to bake it so it would be fresh and toasty.
Good Morning, Kitthens!
As a musician, I felt compelled to actually sing this as written. It was painful, to say the least.