YSaC, Vol. 1218: Straight outta Compty
2012 March 28
Black/ silver. leather computer chair like new! – $45
Nothoing wrong with chair. It is execlent condition. Really compty. Wheels on bottem work good. Etc.
For questions please call. Jaime at ##########.
I do not check emails so please call thanks!
All Right!
Stop whatcha doin’
’cause I’m about to ruin
the chair and the style that ya used to.
It looks funny
But yo, it costs money here
so yo world I hope you’re ready for chair.
The compty chair is your chance to do the compt.
Do the compty compt, come on and do the compty compt…
You know – maybe a Digital Underground take wasn’t the way to go here.
You down with Etc?
Thanks for the link, Kristin!
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love him.
Did he wear the nose while he wrote the post? I hope he wore the nose.
The nose plays.
/mixed-cultural-metaphors
“The Shadow’s nose….”
😉
Quiz nose.
I don’t suggest eating food from anyplace that has nose in the name of it.
You never know what might be in it.
Words fail.
.
o.O
Words fail you, Capn???
*addresses YSaC crowd*
Y’all are sittin’ down, I hope!!
Wow, I wasn’t paying attention, I didn’t realize that was Cap’n. I hope he’s not sick! 🙂
*checks Capn’s vitals on the Lounge screens* It’s a mild attack, should pass quickly. Get him a glass of water with significant impurities. 8)
Stat!
Clear! Zzzzzzzzzztt! Cap’n? Cap’n, can you hear me?
Windy, if memory serves, Capn revives with something a lil’ bit stronger than water. Perhaps we ought to try some 1800 or…
Agreed, Archie. I was talking in SCA code. A bunch of events are held in public places where alcohol is prohibited, so when the ruling tin hats of the event are presented with bottles of strong drink, it is always called water with significant impurities. 8)
Aha! That I did not know. I love learning new euphemismismisms!
Now — you will stay in the Compty Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven and a computer on which spell check has been disabled. Confess! Confess! Confess (but not by email because the Cardinal Inquisitor doesn’t check that)!
No one ever expects the Compton Inquisition!
Story time!
So, back when I worked for TacoDad, I was calling a client on the phone in order to go over blood-work results (TacoDad is a veterinarian). Well, instead of the line ringing like it’s supposed to, this particular client I was calling had one of those “Please enjoy this musical selection while we connect you” apps or whatever they are. I’m expecting something like Mozart or some other elevator music.
Nope.
Much to my amazement – and shortly thereafter, amusement – the Humpty Hump starts blaring from the phone. I’m laughing so hard I have to wave my co-worker over to listen, too. Thankfully, I was able to compose myself in time to leave a message on the client’s voice mail when she didn’t answer.
Confession time! I used to have Wild Thing (Ton Loc, not Troggs) as my callback song and had to change it. My kids never called.
One of our customers in South Carolina (who sounds on the phone like he’s a very professional, calm, vanilla type businessman*) has Pantera as his listen-to-this-while-you-wait music. The first time I heard it I was laughing when he picked up. I think I embarrassed him, he stammered and stuttered when I asked him about it and said something about needing to change that.
*Of course, people don’t always look like they sound. He may be covered with tattoos and have big discs in his ears and hoops in is nose. You never know.
I HATE those waiting music apps. I end up with an earworm for the rest of the day, and I tend to be grumpy by the time the answering service picks up. Especially since it takes extra airtime minutes for it to pick up.
Geez Louise…I changed it! Now I only embarrass them with my Master Yoda GPS voice.
Ooh, I have that!
“Turning left, you will be doing.”
A friend of mine has a dalek voice on hers. Funny as heck, but hard to understand.
What animal provides the silver leather?
And maybe it is just me, but does this leather chair look threadbare?
The same one that provided the silver leather for Dorothy’s shoes (and imagine my disappointment when I found they were silver and not ruby).
I believe it’s the rare, silverback silvairius*.
*this is probably not true..okay, I totally made up that name.
It is always so disappointing finding tidbits like that out. I’ll never forget when my father told me that Dorothy died “because she took so many drugs”.
He was a warm and caring man.
Well, she DID hallucinate an entire world, complete with a talking lion, green-skinned witches, and awesome winged monkeys, but I have a feeling what really drove her over the edge was that Munchkin who hanged himself.
Dorothy had to change to red from silver because the film quality in those days was so iffy that the silver just burned holes in the pictures. True story.*
*Possibly.
Dorothy had NOTHING on Alice. Talk about a druggie…. “Eat me to make me small. Drink me to make me big. ”
She made Grace Slick’s head explode.
Silver leather comes from critters like my cousin, the silver fox.
No, fur is not murder. My fur never hurt anyone. My fur is soft and cuddly.
I think that’s “meat is murder”, and I disagree with that.
My meat never hurt anyone. My meat is…
For the love of all that is sacred OMV, please do not finish that sentence!
“Nothoing wrong with chair.” Move along folks, nothoing to sea hear! Move it along, no straggling. Don’t make me whip out my baton!
So the wheels on the bottem work good. What about the other wheels? I think Sparky’s hiding something and trying to sell defective goods. I’m just sharp like that. You gotta get up purty early in the morning to get anything past The Monkey!
*walks away, slurping coffee from llamanun mug and scratching her behind*
I don’t see a problem here. The compty chair is merely a hybrid of a comfy computer chair….
…Kind of like a Bennyfur, a Katycruise, and an Angelpitt.
p.s. It would have been nice if Sparky had picked his underwear up off the floor before he snapped the pic.
You are required to remove your underthings before sitting on Compty.
He was going to “photoshop” them out, but the sexy personal assistant had hidden the markers.
It’s his own fault for sniffing them.
Oh lordy lordy, I hope you’re talking about the markers, Ghostie. Please please please be talking about the markers.
Maybe underwear removal is part of the Etc. functions of the chair. Though now that I say that I am shuddering.
Get away from my drawers, you silver-leather chair
Ooh, the wheels on the bottem keep on turnin’
I don’t knew whore I’ll be tomorrew
Wheels on the bottem keep on turnin’
I don’t knew, I don’t knew-e-ew
Nanananana
Speaking of wheels.
I went into an ultra touch car wash and asked them if they accepted walk-ins.
Tomorrow I think I’ll put on a blue shirt and tan pants, then walk in the middle of a walmart and say, “That’s it! I quit!”
Does the same company make camping equipment? I often hear of people being In Compty Tent.
I need to send gazillion doors to Bianchi … In Compty Tent is now the place where a number of people I know live. I will shorten it to ICT … and, ironically, that too is true.
Ooooo! Occupy Craigslist!
No, monkey. Those folks are Craigslist are In Condy Nent. (Which might also explain why Sparky removed his undies before taking this picture).
“…on Craigslist…” even. Sheesh.
OSMR Craigslist. C M Sparkies?
No, you don’t know me.
The urban dictionary defines “bottem” as debris that sticks to the bottem of your feet when you walk around barefoot. So I must conclude that the bottem wheels pick up debris so they are like those damned shopping carts that go thump thump thump as you push them down the isle.
“Bottem Girl” is a best hoe that would do anything for her pimp.
“Execlent” sounds like some yuppy is giving up his compty chair for lent.
The person selling this chair doesn’t weigh very much. Because as everybody knows that if you weigh alot and you sit in a comty chair, it will go THOING as it hits bottem.
Hoe, hoe, hoe, Happy Execl(nt)!
OMV, I am just now eating again after reading that first sentence. Ew ew ew!
*checks feet
Heavy leather
Black and silver
computer chair,
just like new.
Really comty.
The bottem wheels
spin like 45s.
The chair has
nothoing wrong with it.
Et, et, et, et, etcetera.
Heavy leather
Black and silver
computer chair,
just like new.
Really compty.
The bottem wheels
spin like 45s.
The chair has
nothoing wrong with it.
Et, et, et, et, etcetera.
Sparky compty had a great chair,
Sparky compty smoked some wild hair.
All the thesaurusi and all the Websters
Couldn’t put Spark’s words together again.
Smoked hare? Please confurm.
If you’re having chair problems I feel bad for you son.
I got 99 problems but the wheels ain’t one.
99 dead baboons?
….in the big parade, with 112 coronets on the siiiiide….
It’s got the underwear right on the floor
Some say the chair ain’t leather, sure
Don’t email me on the com-pute-or
It’s on the Craigs, stupid — how could you ask for more?
Like new at $45…. I got a black leather chair that WAS new for only $5 more and didn’t have to worry about and sparkies sitting on it underwearless beforehand
Ack! Corner!
Well I was jut repeating what others were saying about that possibly being underwear on the floor. Less “corner” and more “eww”
Yes, but your reference to hands added a new layer of squick to it.
The ghostie with the mostie Punchity Punch Punches! Maybe. Yeah, I gotta tally up the first quarter here any day now. Right after I file my taxes. It’s March what?
Good Morning, Shock G!