YSaC, Vol. 1226: I saw three screaws on Christmas day…
2012 April 9
holder for charisma’s tree – $5
its green three screaws IT HOLDS WATER FOR THE TREE
Call JAKE at ###a##one-#### You can see my other posts by copy and pasting my phone number. Thanks for looking!
I went to high school with a girl named Destiny. I wonder if she’s got a cousin named Charisma? Because I can’t think who else would need to hold up Charisma’s tree. Unless that’s some sort of euphemism. In which case… ew.
Also – IT THANKS WENDIE FOR THE POST
Speaking of girls with unfortunate names, Sparky has screawed up a famous line from James Thurber:
“Under the spreading Chastity….”
I know that poem! “The bear foot boy with a cheeky tan something something!”
You’ve just reminded me of one of my father’s old jokes about a larcenous bear and a Chinese lumber merchant, the punch line of which was “a boy-foot bear with teaks of Chan.”
Spark threatens us with “screaws” and expects we would search for [its] other posts (postes)?
That tree was so charming.
At least a plus 7!
A real Prince in the Woods, ya know.
Anything can happen in the woods
But what if no one’s there to hear it?
Maybe the tree belongs to Charisma Carpenter. Haven’t seen her on tv much since Cordelia carked it, so perhaps she decided to pursue something appropriate to her surname and is growing trees for the timber industry.
Poor Charisma…totally screawed over by Buffy for a mere $5.
If Charisma has a feaux tree, will the screaws still work?
Naeux, Dave.
Say it isn’t saeux.
Raw puns all are the laeuxest form of comedy, therefore the root of all wit.
Ha ha ha! What a silly, obvious typo! He typed “Call JAKE” when it is clear his name is actually Steve.
Call me Ishmael.
You can call me….Roy.
But you doesn’t have to call me Johnson!
This is me Johnson,
This is me Johnson in holder.
Any questions?
And Betty when you call me you can call me Al.
Just don’t call me collect.
Why would we call you Collect? Your name’s Dave and/or The Ferrets.
You can call me Roy, you can call me Al, just don’t call me late for supper.
Or he reversed a few letters and really means ” J all CAKE.” I have no idea what that means, but I like cake.
I like pie!
I like cheese.
I, like, totally agree? Like fer sure? Like you know? Like awesome!
Cheesecake pie are like, yummy!
cha·ris·ma tree [kuh-riz-muh tree]
noun
1. Theology . a divinely conifered gift or power.
2. a spiritual power or vegetable quality that gives an individual plant influence or authority over large forests.
3. The special virtue of a fir, pine, cedar, etc., that conifers or is thought to conifer on the plant holding it an unusual ability for leadership, woodiness of vegitation, or the like.
Oh let’s not go down that
furfir road again!Holder for charisma’s tree
Fa la la la la la la la la
It holds water for the tree
Fa la la la la la la la la
It is green and has three scre-aws
Fa la la la la la la la la
Call on Jake to see some mo-aw
Fa la la la la la la la la
There, I fixed it.
The year is just speeding by! Yesterday was Easter, today is Charismas. I haven’t even got enough bees gathered yet.
I know, I’m still not done spying on my neighbors for McCarthy Day.
“Are you now, or have you ever been a Communist?”
Awesome. Is the next day Interrogation Day?
camille…Enough with the “law’s” we already have enough of them. It’s only 1 day after easter….. Common!!!!!!!!
It’s poetry!
its green three screws/IT HOLDS WATER FOR THE TREE
resting on the baes/IT HOLDS WATER FOR THE TREE
$12 at Walmart and my cat sleps in it/IT HOLDS WATER FOR THE TREE
I have a Chutzpah tree. It is bold enough to not need anyone to hold its water, thanks!
*dials ###a##one-####*
Darn, it’s always busy!
a##one
and##a
two##and a….
It is a darned unique phone nuber. I want letters in mine now.
Yikes, or *number.
purple fish is red
I used to have a tree like this only we called it Sibyl.
“Hold your water for the tree, Sibyl!”
Charisma’s Tree is IF’s eco-friendly Destiny’s Child cover band.
It’s also the local off-broadway musical.
We have an introvert’s tree at the TacoHut. It’s a nice little tree, but we can’t put any of our flashier ornaments on it. Which is fine, since we own a lot of Star Trek and Star Wars ornaments.
A good lesson in how spellcheck’s first suggestion isn’t always the correct one.
Will the green three screaws really hold water?
Is SCREAW SCREAW SCREAW what a hawk-donkey says?
Is Jake out of his charismatic tree?
Will Jake fence his other posts by pasting his number?
Find out the answers to these questions and more.
Tune in next time on Why Sack’s season finale.
Does Charisma’s tree have a lot of presence?
(I hope my question holds water.)
LOVE the My Cousin Vinny reference! LOL!
When I’m green, I’m two screawed to hold my water. If I had an extra screaw, Charisma wooden treed me so bad.
“Thanks for looking!”
Yeah, no problem. I always try to look good now. Last time I didn’t look, I walked right into charisma’s tree. I broke a small round “ornament”.
Wow! The corner is charismatic today. It’s compelling me to com… umm, compelling me hither.
Screaw you guys, ahm goin’ home!
-Eric Cartman, king of charisma
Question… why did the three green screaws follow the star to the charisma tree?
To get to the udder sigh?
I’ve been looking for a fake Christmas tree with lights on Craigslist for awhile now…silly me, I haven’t been spelling it correctly. Hopefully, I will have better luck between now and December 1.
*types “feaux Charisma’s tree with collared lattes” in Craigslist search box*
A latte collar is that little paper sleeve thingy that always falls off, isn’t it?
Yes! They’re made by the same company that makes those little packs of chicklet lookin’ thingies that come in shoes in purses.
Around here, we have to buy our shoes and purses separately. I like the idea of the matching shoes being in the purse!
I had a Charisma Tree in my Bag of Holding for a while. It gave me a +3 bonus on any encounter but died due to lack of watering. Had I only knew of this…
Awwww man, you got screawed!
In all seriousness though (silly on this site I suppose) but isn’t it pretty pathetic when there’s at least one sparky out there who doesn’t know how to spell “Christmas”?
Eumienitz belled rung?
Or “screw”…just sayin’.
One? One? Grammy, you need to step back and count again. 8)
What? What? Oh, never mind.
LimeLolly, you have the distinction of receiving the first Punchity Punch Punch from my new computer!
Good Morning, Sandy Claws!
Whoo Hoo.. I feel special. Or that itchy feeling is just eczema…