YSaC, Vol. 1265: The fears of a clown …
2012 June 1
Rare beautiful piece!!
Beautiful art piece! Only for a true collectors. MAKE OFFER. NO LOW BALLING! By email or phone : xxx xxx-xxxx
Up to this point in my life, I have successfully avoided coulrophobia. But no more. Oh, sure, it looks innocent enough, with its hair that appears to be sculpted from some Pepperidge Farm cheese log and its dead eyes … but I’m pretty sure that I will never sleep again. The more I look at it, the more I’m convinced that that is a ring of blood around its mouth from where it has been feasting on the souls of small children, and that the lace ruffle collar is really just a bib.
Thanks, Scott!
Female version has NO LOW BALLING!
With that board where it is, there will be no low balling regardless.
It’s a beautiful morning here in the corner.
There is 7 levels of
hellwrong with this piece. That phallic stick/stick-up-the-butt is 2 levels right there.What? Creepy Clown is eveolving!
…
Congratulations! Your Creepy Clown has evolved into Butt-Pole Demon!
I guess since no one else will touch this monstrosity carved from spray foam insulation and children’s nightmares, it decided to take matters into its own hands.
Perhaps it should be returned to Cathy?
“The terror, which would not end for another twenty-eight years–if it ever did end–began, so far as I can tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain.”
They FLOAT! They ALL float down here!
There’s something terribly wrong here in Derry, and you know it! […] I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Easter Bunny. I believe in the Tooth Fairy. But I don’t believe in you. This is battery acid. Now, you disappear!
Beep beep, Mudsy.
Monkey, you’re NOT helping. I’ll sick Jack Torrance on you.
Is that a threat? Don’t make me break gunslinger on you, do ye ken?
Mudsy, is Clown Wood more powerful than Lightning Wood?
It’s a lot slower, wanda. And whatever you do, don’t smell the flower!
*big shoes make it hard to get around*
There, I fixed it for ya!
Dangnab auto-korrect, oughta read:
For fire place! For blind collectors Only. MAKE OFFERING. NO LOUD BAWLING! By email or phone : xxx xxx-xxxx
I will glady remain a false collectors.
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
*Deep breaths to calm down*
OK, I think I’m bet-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Relax, Taco. We’ll have that nice mailman from the commercial (‘if it fits, it ships”) priority mail it to my ex in-laws. It will be right at home there.
Awwwww! I want a creepy clown to send to MY in-laws! Preferably one with teeth.
I’ll share my used duct tape shipment, if it helps. I’m still waiting for the shipment of Great American Foam. They never delivered. Grmph.
“ARGHH” used to be my personalized licence plate. It was my response to idiot drivers.
“NOSPARKIES” just won’t fit.
[complete, left-field, aside]
Bestest vanity plate I have ever seen: “BLANK”
[/aside]
Yes Cap’n, I thought about that one, then getting a frame that said “GO” on top and “YOURSELF” on the bottom.
I don’t know what’s worse. The creepy clown or that creepy curtain.
*damn it! I wanted SIX views of it!*
Ah, but what is lingering behind the curtain? Let your imagination feast on that. Enjoy!
If there are six views, and Seven Levels; does this make one of the Levels a “Bonus Level” in Realtor-speak?
:rocks back and forth while wearing Hug-Me Jacket:
Can’t snark, clown’ll eat me.
The clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
The clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
The clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
The clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
The clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
The clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
If we put the demonic doll and the haunted hawk in the same basement, would the resulting singularity of Evil create a black ho-
A DOOM HOUSE?
Sadly….from my crappy mobile phone….it looks a demonized version of Howard The Duck. Everybody run NOW!
Sis!
I think she’s wearing Jimmy Chew Off Your Face shoes.
*the bile yellow soles are a giveaway*
LimeLolly: Whya no chicken?
You know why. Chickens are mostly armless.
It’s ALL chicken.
Great, drmk (BBUY), I think you’ve collectively scared the YSaCers shitless.
Pleasant dreams everyone!
No… I’m pretty sure I still have sh… stuff. It’s all in my pants, but there is no ‘less’ of it.
What is the meaning of “scared shitless”? Does it mean you’re so scared you can’t shit? I think “scared shitty” would make more sense. At least, that’s how my bowels work.
Ah! One I can finally field semi-intelligently: when your body goes into fight or flight response, peristalsis is less necessary, less water is used in the intestines, more for sweat.
Also, the origin of “shitting bricks” as less water gets into the colon as a result of fight or flight.
(I’m no Capn, but I done good in Anat & Physiology)
I understood the phrase came from observation of birds, who “drop ballast” when startled. Which, from the avian perspective is good in that less weight is less weight, and the droppings are a potential toxin/ink cloud/irritant to predators.
Or some such.
Gack, it’s 5 on Friday . . .
Is this on?
Crickets?
*pokes head above
coversfortified cave of impenetrability*Squee! I’m in the bawks! I’d like to thank my inner Maggie Smith, without whom this honor would not have been possible.
And, the Sparkies..always the Sparkies.
Oh I got some strings to help me stalk,
to help me creep,
to help me kill.
I had strings,
but now I’m free,
to chase you in your dreams.
Hi-ho the me-ri-bowls,
I love to eat children’s souls.
I want the world to fear,
Going to bed every night!
This is why most recipes for cauliflower au gratin do not include a pacifier.
But does the cauliflower carpet match the cauliflower drapes?
It’s Clarence the Quidditch Keeper Clown
How does this even qualify as beautiful? In which maniac’s eyes? Hannibal Lecter has more taste. John Wayne Gacy? OK, answered my own silly question.
Get. It. Away. From. Me.
Seriously, if anyone wants me I’ll be behind the sofa. Crying.
*hands ratwoman her blankie*
Here, this will help. Warm and straight from the dryer.
Wait… weren’t you using the clown to warm that up?
Panels 1-3: No, why would we ever sell you? Of course we’d never sell you. OH GOD IT’S GETTING CLOSER!
Just like ol’ Gacy did,
I try to keep the bodies hid.
Hanging from these strings I fly,
then creep into your room and tie
the knots of a clown
when there’s no one around.
In other craigs list news, A Boise, Idaho man was arrested today for offering sex with a 3 year old girl on craigslist. A search of his home revealed he had child porn on his computer along with videos of men having sexual contact with children.
Sorry, I said man, I don’t know what to call him, but he’s not a man.
He floats through the air with the latest of greaves,
(no, no) with plates full of cheese, (no, no)
with the birds and the bees, (he can’t miss)
The daring young clown on the flapping tripeze,
the treazing flyp flyp,
the trying flip flip,
the tre… tri truh umm,
the horizontal bar.
Are you in voice, Winstead?
*reads Wikipedia article*
the concept of a clown as a figure of fun was unknown in classical Greek culture
I agree with the ancient Greeks on that.
CJ? CJ!! *looks under blankets* Wonder where she went? Oh well, Punchity Punch Punch and Judy!
Who left this adorable marionette here?