YSaC, Vol. 1309: Though the JJ Abrams lens flare is a nice effect.
cow head – $35
Perfect for girls room.
Call
xxx-xxx-xxxx
How is this perfect for a girl’s room? It isn’t even bedazzled, for pete’s sake! Well, okay, it’s got glitter, but that’s not a proper bedazzling. Everyone knows that if you’re going to put animal carcasses in a young girl’s room, that they need to be properly bedazzled.
Although, hmmm. There’s no apostrophe in “girls”, so maybe we’re not referring to the room of one particularly morbid yet perky girl who happens to like animal skulls painted in Playskool-bright colors.
Maybe this is one of those things they do at theme restaurants, where they put some kind of obscure symbol on the bathroom door and then expect you to figure out which room you need to go into.* This would go on the door of the ladies’ room? But (a) what would then go on the door to the men’s room, and (b) we’re still missing an apostrophe.
William is responsible for this. Blame him.
* Really? You expect me to be able to tell the difference between a chicken and a rooster after I’ve had four beers? Really? And you’re throwing me out? Oh, it was the part where I started yelling, “Hey, nice cock!”? Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Wow, dunno where to begin. Like that looks like a bovine skull, if without teeth of eye sockets. It’s a comforting blue, but the lion-stripes are confusing.
As is what appears to be an infringement of the IP of a ’70s major musical group.
Spark’ uses the word “girls” and given sparkii-spelling, really meant “Gzymblj” the infamous dehorned bovine demon of [location]. (The possessive of collective human females in sparkii being “gurlz” and the plural possessive “gyrlz’s” QED).
Given the probable nature and source of the skull, would it be terribly naughty to as if the pigment used was milk paint?
Ahem, with respect, Cap’n, those are Not.A.Lion stripes – not LION stripes! Please pay attention in future or you will be fed to the Not.A.Tigers.
It’s perfect for a girl’s room if the girl in question gets her decorating ideas from seventies album-cover art.
Is Gravatar not going to place nicely with me today?
No, you just misspelled your email address with a “0” where a “o” should have been.
Oh!
D’oh!
Oh! Oh! OH!
I’ll have what Dan and Windy are having…
Ah…that’s what Georgia O’Keeffe’s pieces are missing – glitter.
…and a male element*!
*and when I say element…
Ghostie’s plan for instant wealth;
1. Purchase bright blue lion-striped skull from Sparky.
2. Mount skull to plaque that reads “Genuine Souvenir of Pandora.”
3. List skull on eBay for one million dollars.
4. Wait.
I was hoping for at least a Hello Kitty bow instead of the Ed Hardy winged heart.
🙁
A quick “Hello Kitty bow” search on eBay produces 9,306 results, Mudsy. I’ll bet you a free tv that you will find something to suit.
Sanrio is such a commercial hors (the “s” is silent—or “ilent”).
I remember the good ol’ days when the only kids who had Sanrio stuff were the ones whose parents could afford to shop at the one store in the area (possibly the state) that carried Sanrio stuff and also didn’t mind driving all the way across town to pay four times as much for school supplies with furr’n cartoon critters on them. Now that blasted kitty is everywhere.
“Ed Hardy winged heart” produces only three results, none of which is on a wall hanging…making this cow head a rare steal at $35. *nods sagely*
I’d much rather steal it than pay $35 for it. But I’d much rather forget I ever saw it. Since the only “girls room” at my house was turned into a bird room 4.5 years ago, this would give the poor creatures the wrong idea entirely.
5. Profit!
As someone who routinely sits back and ponders how much work has been put into something, I am stunned by the amount of forethought and planning that went into making this hideous mess. There is a cow that did something horrifying in a past life to merit Karma coming back around at a respectable fraction of the speed of light and subject its earthly remains to that.
I have a friend from high school that was part of a Def Leppard/White Snake type garage band that would have loved this. Probably still would. Hum. Christmas IS just around the corner.
Nothing says “Season’s Greetings” like a tarted-up cow skull.
Looks like somebody ate the blueberry bubble gum at Willy Wonka’s and it didn’t sit too well.
I can’t decide if I should go with Tarted Up Skull or Tarted Up Cow for my Lady Gaga Tribute band.
Windy – yes.
If IF can have more than one band, so can you.
Two things:
1) not.a.realcowskull
2) “Head.” Heh heh.
The girls moved slowly through the hallway, keeping a close eye on the door. The arrow on the wall had pointed this way to the restrooms, but now they were faced with a dilemma – which door was the one they wanted? The cow skull stared back at them (which was difficult to do, since it had no eye-holes).
It was dim in the hallway, (after all, it was twilight) and very quiet. Too quiet… Suddenly, a small light came on, reflecting off the cow’s skull! “OMG!”, screamed one of the girls, “It’s, like, all sparkley and stuff!” Her friend didn’t say a word, just dug in her purse for the crucifix and wooden stake she always carried. She stepped closer to the skull and, holding up the crucifix, said “Bite me, Guernsey of the Undead.”
The skull responded, “Mooooooooove closer….”, then grinned, revealing the glistening fangs protruding from the one jaw that remained of its hideous head.
(to be continued*)
*This may not be true.
I would like to amend your story to include “moocifix” and “wooden steak”.
Holy Cow! The duck is in the box! We’re all Triple D fans today.
(Somebody had to say it. I get all the grunt jobs. Maybe I can ask One to make the cow patty jokes today.)
Yippy aye yay!…
Edit:….Cow Patty!
Woo hoo! But where’s ghostie? You might as well put in a permanent cat door so she can come and go as she pleases.
My mother used to describe what passed for scintillating dinner conversation in her somewhat backwoods family growing up. Her prime example was “The duck looked through the hole today.” I’m hoping there’s a hole in the box, or it’s going to be a quiet meal tonight.
I’m fine out here in the Lounge, I’m still icing down my last punch from Mama Windy.
I have a hole-related story from my Mom regarding my great-grandmother’s pie safe; it begins with “Dad was slaughtering a pig and decided to save the gall bladder…” and explains why there is a long, splash-shaped hole in the side of that particular piece of furniture.
*skooches chair close to ghostie*
Ooooh..do tell!
Ok, had to ask uncle Google what a pie safe was. Looks suspiciously like an
armwararmorarmourarmoire…It’s basically an armoire for food – the doors have panels of mesh or punched tin and you would put baked goods like bread, cakes, or pies inside to keep the bugs off. Ours is older – Great-Gramma traded her wedding dress (worth twelve dollars) for it sometime back in the eighteen-eighties – so it has a punched tin front.
Apparently Grampa decided to save the pig’s gall bladder to use the liquid as paint thinner and put the organ in a bowl, sticking it in the pie safe to keep the flies away from it. (Yes, the safe was full of baked goods at the time. Grampa was not known for having well thought out plans.) The gall bladder tipped over at some point and the fluid dripped down the inside of the safe where no one noticed it, eating a hole right through the wood. Gramma was not happy.
It occurs to me that there should be a corey in that first paragraph somewhere. Feel free to mentally add one.
::mentally removing all pig gall bladders from all storage areas of house::
*Whew* that was close!
I saw the head and immediately thought theme bathroom. Thankfully, it appears I’m not the only one. It is nice to be among my people. Bless you, my YSaC friends.
Whap! Whap! Whap! Dude, that’s my skull! I’m so wasted!
Birdy, birdy in the sky,
dropping whitewash in my eye.
Oh my, I’m glad that cows don’t fly.
Yippy aye yay, Cow Patty!
A guy walks into a bar with a black and blue skull on his head.
The bartender asks,”What have you got there?”
The guy says, “That’s what is left of my cow Bessy, she’s had a pretty tough time lately.”
The bartender says, “Yeah, it looks like youv’ve been banging her all week.”
As I sit here, I start to wonder,
what might have laid my cow asunder.
Was it wolves? Maybe a fox?
Maybe some Over-frustrated bullocks?
What has taken my cow as plunder?
When I find out, it’ll be six feet under.
That’s all I got.
Awesome! I feel so relaxed!
Like a glittered cow head
Hanging up in the room of Theresa or Betty Jo
Like a glittered cow head
Getting snark and derision from people I don’t even know
No offers coming over the phone
There’s an earworm I did not need. Bedazzled Cow Skull would have been awesome, if only the Sparky of little art talent had gone the extra step.
Sorry. I do not choose the earworms, they choose me.
Oooo.. yay! Now I have the star of my next nightmare. Who said CraigsList is unhelpful?
Sort of looks like a horse head to me but the zebra stripes might be tricking my feeble brain.*
And given how girls love horses, I’d think this is a bad idea for a girl(‘)s room. Sorry, I can’t use the apostrophe until I know the kind of room intended.
*Not particularly trained in the recognition of skulls denuded of flesh.
My Dearest Lord Whipshishair,
It appears our long quest to discover the whereabouts of His Most Supreme Holiness, Bluenoggin, may at last have come to fruition.
Last night, during intensive research at a local hangout known to attract followers and detractors of Bluenoggin alike, I chanced upon this ad from Craigslist.
It appears Bluenoggin has, once again, been hanging around a girls room.
Or, possibly a girl’s room, the announcement wasn’t clear.
Please forward the necessary funds to retrieve His Most Supreme Holiness, and tell that bitch Lady Amplebottum she can stop the crying and wailing now.
And, no I won’t lift the curse. She should never have taken Bluenoggin from his rightful place to begin with.
Does the woman understand the confusion she caused while he was gone?
Sincerely,
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Fiefings and;
Manager, Blue Cow Saloon
I see by your outfit….
Streets of Laredo, FTW! Thanks, Ralph, for giving me an earworm today of one of my favorite cowboy songs ever…
I prefer the Smothers Brothers version (starting at 2:15).
Yes, have them on cassette, very funny.
I have the LP. Vinyl, Baby!
Demon Duck of Dune! Er, Doon? DOOM! That’s it, doom. All righty then, off you go and remember to look both ways before crossing the snark. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Laredo!