YSaC Vol 1313: Triskaidekaphobia
2012 August 8
Need a paper re-worded
I have an 8 paper that I just need to be re-worded. Just take every paragraph, and change all the words. It’s a paper on healthcare. Email me at ###########. I need this done by tomorrow afternoon. We can discuss payment.
Um OK. I mean, as long as I can change ALL the words, I’ll do it. It will, of course, be a paper on the role of molybdenum in the War of the Oaken Bucket once I’m done. But since you didn’t specify any particular form you wanted the final version to take, I’m sure that will be just fine. Besides, you wouldn’t want the final paper to still be about health care, would you? That would be boo-ooring.
Thanks for the link, Johanna!
*chooses YSaC volume 1193*
*copy, paste, print*
Done! Now where’s my money.
Need a paper re-worded
(You have a problem)
——————————————————————————–
I have an 8 paper that I just need to be re-worded.(You should ask someone to slap you upside your head.) Just take every paragraph, and change all the words. (Let’s log into the school computer and replace your grades with cheese.) It’s a paper on healthcare.(Cheese is a somewhat healthy dairy product.) Email me at ###########.(We can paint it on Velvet…) I need this done by tomorrow afternoon.(This will be finished this morning.) We can discuss payment.(Stand in this field and that bull will charge you.)
*heeheehee, money, money, money
” War of the Oaken Bucket”
The bolognese could have won if only they would have asked their allies, the Salamese, the pastramians, and the Spammerians.
They would have still needed some olive tapenade and cheese. Muffalettas anyone?
If we are going to discuss food all day, I’m outta here!
dieting are we?
Just lick the screen. Probably tastes the same.
*licks screen*
Mine tastes like despair and bad dreams. Ew.
:lick:
Mine tastes like nose-coffee and lemon Pledge. I think I need to have a talk with our cleaning people.
:lick, lick:
Dust, coffee slice crumbs, and bird. . . stuff. Ew.
You purple an 8 pancakes that Bob just ran to aliens re-infested. Just squirrel every donut, and PAINT ALL THE THINGS. It’s a rock on Mars. HMU at 867-5309. I flash this wolf by August afternoon. Bob can run dolphins.
*puts pen down to admire work*
There, that should do it!
*e-mails masterpiece and awaits payment*
*sniff* So beautiful, it’s the most moving thing I’ve ever read.
My favorite : “squirrel every donut”.
You
had
me
at
donut.
*breaks down into quiet sobs*
*bursts into song*
Squirrel every donut,
Clone every scream,
Pancake every washrag
Until your self esteem!
2nd verse, different from the first!
Drive drive drive your hair
Deeply with sour cream!
Cheaply quickly madly lovely
A lawyer eats a dream!
I’m Pony the Egged I yams;
Pony the Egged I yams, I yams!
I got meringued to the mirror next floor
Ant she’s bin meringued seven tines bee fort!
Squee! I love music day at YSaC!
I’m not sharing my money with y’all..just so you know.
On the plus side, Sparky’s got enough for an 10 paper now.
I hope he appreciates us.
[xeroxes eight pages of dictionary]
Heers yur paper.
Now, letz talk ’bout whacher givin’ me whats Vito doan break you laigs.
Just stick the phrase “help it’s a scam” somewhere on page 5.
Along with any (or all) of the following tucked in at odd intervals;
“I can hear the voices of the fruit roll-ups calling to me.”
“Do you like me? Circle Yes or No.”
“I bet the teacher won’t even bother reading this far. What a dumbass.”
“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.”
“My hovercraft is full of eels.”
“molybdenum”
A trace mineral we would add to the water to feed our greenhouse tomatoes.
aka, Molly-be-Damn, the small mining town featured in “The Brothers O’Toole”
More fascinating than Sparky’s ad is Dan’s comment. Thanks Dan.
T.A. Flashbacks!
Aaaarrrgh! Freshman Comp Nightmares!
It burns us!
I’ll be in the closet cuddling my Strunk & White.
+1 for Sparky realizing teachers can detect papers plagiarized from online sources.
-1000 for deciding to do it anyway.
-1000000 for deciding to not even do it himself.
Craigslist: For when you’re too lazy to even do your own cheating.
I have a state policy that I need re-worded. Just take every policy, and make it for the federal government. It’s on health care. Email me at potus@whitehouse.gov. Don’t tell Mitt.
Dan, I was with you until this War of the Oaken Bucket business. Now I just think you’re full of bologna.
If Sparky knows he can’t just plagiarize Wikipedia, he should also know there are internet tools that will rearrange it for him for free.
Isn’t that what Obama did with Romneycare?
I’ve heard of A4 paper, but what’s an 8 paper? A8 would be really small, so I could reword it in a heartbeat!
“We can discuss payment.”
We can but I’d rather just have cash in hand. I mean, what are words for (besides replacing all the other words in an 8-page paper)?
“…because no one listens anymore…” Thanks for the earworm, Lita.
The key to a good paper is to start with a reliable source.
Forget all you people. I’m going to go take a stroll down Mockingbird Lane.
You may want to take a detour. I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill.
wanda, I don’t want to alarm you, but you are starting to spend a lot of time in the box. This will go on your permanent record. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, , William D. Coolidge!