YSaC, Vol. 1402: Blue in Green (or possibly the other way)
Hey folks! Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? Of course you do! Who doesn’t? (I also wish to state for the record that ranch dressing on Buffalo wings is a crime against nature.)
Salad Dressing
3 – 16 oz. bottles of Blue Cheese Salad Dressing …. Not expired, but getting close.
####### Family says “Best By Dec 31 2012”
Wish-Bone says “Best If Used By Dec 19 2012”Sealed, never opened and stored in a pantry. We just decided we don’t like Blue Cheese anymore!
Please reply to this posting … & include a phone number. I’ll call you with the address.
Now let’s leave aside the question of just how the ###### family decided that it’s safe to consume this stuff for precisely twelve more days beyond the listed date; perhaps you’re just not ready for the commitment required by an entire sixteen ounce jar of salad dressing of questionable vintage, let alone three. Maybe you’d like to work your way to guzzling down 3/8 of a gallon of blue cheesy goodness a bit at a time:
HEINZ BLUE CHEESE DRESSING INDIVIDUAL PACKETS 0.25 EACH
### ### ####
1 PACKET IS FOR ONE SERVING (ONE SALAD MEAL)
ITS NOT A 100 PACK..ITS LOOSE PACKETS A QUQRTER FOR EACH PACKET
For just one QUQRTER, you can not only practice your blue cheese guzzling skills, but have the highest scoring Scrabbletm word ever!
Thanks, Jason and Lauren!
“…stored in a pantry.” Don’t look; the salads’s dressing. What a fiend we have in cheeses.
Lettuce hope the fickle family changes their minds about blue cheese again…soon. They must be buying by the carton.
It’s condiments like this that make me question whether coming here is a gouda-dea.
Ogle & Voyeur Dressing?
Carnac the Magnificent reads Craigslist posts from December 20, 2012:
Vintage salad dressing
###### Family says, “This will only increase in value.”
I mean, bleu cheese is already mold, right? What could possibly go bad?
…and as Alfonse stuffed the last of the individual salad dressing packets in his pants as he prepared to leave his job as Chief Fry Master forever, having been fired even though that beeyotch of a manager had no good reason, never mind she’d caught him huffing from the whipped cream can again, he only vaguely wondered if Ray Kroc had indeed began his empire this way as Alfonse had been led to believe by Biffy, the Head Lettuce Shredder……
Been a long time since I rode a bike–does the shredding happen before or after the salad tossing?
Capn! Corner! Now!
Actually, those are two different brands of blue cheese salad dressing: “Western Family” and “Wishbone”. So the two different expiration dates make sense, and you don’t need to censor out the “Western” part because it’s a brand, not an actual family.
*headdesk* I can’t believe I didn’t see that.
Well, I blong to a western type family, but I lack ma cheese yella.
Does that mean you have them Accidental Familee values?
Came to {corey} this, got beaten to it. Silly Ostrimu :-p
Look, people, these ads are all about opportunity and this here is an extraordinary one. You can taste test three different brands of Blue Cheese dressing for the low, low price of free, free, and a quqrtr. You have virtually nothing to lose here.
Except maybe your stomach.
And, possibly, your taste for blue cheese dressing.
And, probably, your belief in humanity.
We three cheese, expired and blue,
On your salad and cheeseburger too,
You won’t believe it till you heave it,
All over yonder loo.
O Cheese of wonder, cheese of funk,
Cheese with floating chunky gunk,
Smells horrendous, stinks tremendous,
We sold it because it stunk.
Taco, I am not putting that in the box. *retch*
Edit: Okay, I changed my mind.
Probably for the best, it would never smell the same.
I am sooooooooo glad I’m in there today. Lord knows how long the decontamination might take.
Hmm, Carols
O Holy Bagel (Winter Bagle for the Orthodontists)
Slider Night
O Tatertot, O Tatertot
Willy Wonkaland
What, we used up the songs the other day?
Good King Worchestershire?
What (Sour Cream &) Chive is This?
O Hoagie Night?
Joyeux Nougat?
I’ll take unusual cheese facts for $300, Alex.
The answer – Novak Djokovic, famous tennis player, just finalized a deal to buy the world’s supply of cheese made from the milk of this animal on a single farm in Serbia.
What is donkey?
Correct [this is true].
Unusual cheese facts for $400, please
The answer – This state ranks #2 for cheese production in the United States entirely because it is the nation’s largest producer of mozzarella.
What is New Mexico?
Correct [this is true].
Unusual cheese facts for $500, please.
This traditional sheep milk cheese from Sardinia, Italy was once availabhle only on the black market because it contains live insect larvae.
What is formaggio marcio?
We would have also accepted casu marzu, which is now legal because it is considered a “traditional food” [this is true].
Unusual cheese facts for six, please.
The answer – a daily double.
I’ll wager $2700.
That will make this a true daily double if you are correct. The correct way to dispose of bottles of blue cheese salad dressing that was never opened and is a week before the epiration date.
What is post the dressing on Craigslist?
Ooh, I’m sorry, the correct question is what is throw in the trash can. That means you are now broke –beep beep beep —, and that sound means the round is over, and since you are broke you are eliminated from the game. So sorry.
Hopefully the second vendor has checked the dates on his product, or the packets are not the only things that will be loose.
So… does expired salad dressing get a burial at Hidden Valley?
I can’t believe there is so much of a glut in the blue-cheese-dressing market that surplus bottles are being sold on Craigslist.
I guess we should just be glad that Sparky didn’t donate soon-to-expire product to the local food bank or something.
CJ, you okay in there? The door was stuck, I couldn’t get you out of the box! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Robert H. Cobb!