YSaC, Vol. 1482: One hundred years of suckitude.

2013 April 2

Car Wanted Imperfect ok SWAP for Eclectic Library 300 Kids perfect

I have a wild useful entertaining selection of books i collected for internet sale used to near new antique vintage also
If you have children of any age this is a fine information base which they will have while growing
Most are identifiable with a mag glass in photos-> there is no cheap filler eg reader’s digests encylo’s nat geo’s book club ed’s
[maybe a couple for collectibility or cover art]
Books retail in present condition at over 3k

My auto interests are
*Honda *Volvo Wagon *Any Van>>>>>>>>>>> FOUR Cylinder Only
Condition variable-> No rust buckets- clutch brakes electrical problems ok but must have title

***No calls until I hear your refined abbrebiated description- i have no trash and expect the same.

Yep, Sparky is trying to barter piles of old books for a car. But not just any old old books — these are books that your children of any age will love and reference over and over again — rather than turning to, say, the internet for information! Yes, sir, your children will dig through these musty tomes more often than you can say silverfish. And there isn’t any filler at all, except for the filler that’s in there.

That’s right, your four year old will absolutely beg you to read and re-read Solar Heating Design (published in 1977) over and over again. It’s fun and educational for the whole family! Think of the nights spent curled up on the sofa sharing the Almanach Vermot 1934 with your loved one. Your pre-teen will love the Drawing the Female Figure, published in 1975. (Well, okay, that one might actually be true.) And when you’re walking to work because you’ve traded your car for a pile of books, at least you’ll have 100 Years of Siamese Cats and the Color Atlas of Cancer Cytology to keep you company.

Thanks, Brenna!

31 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 April 2

    Oh, those were the days! I remember begging my mom to read Uri Geller’s My Storm in Japanese every night. Later, I would ask the psychiatrist to read Murals of Thailand, and to act out the scenes in the pictures. My childhood was so special!

    Adores: 1
  2. 2013 April 2
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Hey, let’s not be too hasty. Books like “Drainage and Irrigation Maps of Mendocino County, 1978-1983”, “The Care and Feeding of your Furby(C)”, and “Seriously, This Book Is Made Of Solid Gold” might be worth their weight in gold.

    Adores: 4
  3. 2013 April 2

    I have a wild useful entertaining selection of books i collected for internet sale

    I can’t imagine why that didn’t work out.

    Most are identifiable with a mag glass in photos

    Maybe they are if you have the TV Cop Show Image Enhancement software package, version 2.2 or higher.

    Adores: 4
  4. 2013 April 2

    He excludes rust-buckets, but doesn’t specifically say the vehicle can’t be infested with bees. I think I may know a good match here.

    Adores: 8
    • 2013 April 2
      DigitalAxis permalink

      Or how about the Porsche with the well-ventilated front end?

      Adores: 1
  5. 2013 April 2

    Holy carrots –“Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality???” Is that like when kids bite other kids because they don’t get enough meat in the home?

    And did I just raise the ghost of Pedobear?

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 2
      camille permalink

      [ corey ] “Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality” is an intentionally humorous book from the 1980s. [ / corey ]

      Adores: 2
  6. 2013 April 2

    *closes eyes and rubs forehead*

    Sparky – I don’t care if you have a first edition of The Bible, signed by God Himself…there’s no way in hell I’m taking 300 children off your hands.

    Adores: 12
  7. 2013 April 2
    camille permalink

    True story: when I was selling stuff on eBay full-time (back before I decided to go to law school and get a grown-up job), my relatives would send me all kinds of junk to sell. Talk about unrealistic expectations! My sister-in-law sent me a box of old books – not a single one in the box was worth more than a nickel. It wasn’t even worth hauling them to Goodwill; they couldn’t have sold them either. My sister-in-law believed that because they were old, they must be valuable. But many books have gone out of print for a reason.

    On the other hand, I once bought four books at a garage sale for 25 cents each and sold the lot for more than a hundred dollars. Used book selling can be profitable IF you know what you’re doing.

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 April 2
      DigitalAxis permalink

      But does IF know what he’s doing?

      Adores: 8
      • 2013 April 2
        camille permalink

        There’s a cover band joke in there somewhere.

        Adores: 0
        • 2013 April 2

          “If you know what you’re doing” is IF’s Information Society cover band.

          Adores: 8
    • 2013 April 2
      PhantomBanker permalink

      My mother tried that with me once. She had the complete “collector’s set” of the original Star Trek series on VHS. Most of them were still in the shrink wrap, so she figured she could get a couple hundred dollars.


      Adores: 4
  8. 2013 April 2
    DigitalAxis permalink

    It’s the Eclectic Library 300: With improved traction, all-leather interior, and an updated copy of “Earth from Above” (pictured from below).

    Adores: 3
  9. 2013 April 2
    burn-account permalink

    Books? What is this heresy?

    Adores: 2
  10. 2013 April 2
    Ralph permalink

    There is no such thing as 300 perfect kids, no matter what their mothers tell you.

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 April 2
      kelli permalink

      There is if you follow the cooking directions carefully.

      Adores: 13
  11. 2013 April 2
    mudslicker permalink

    They only need one book and one match to take care of the lot of them*…. Fahrenheit 451.

    *i have no trash and expect the same

    Adores: 4
  12. 2013 April 2
    CapnMac permalink

    like old not vintage not unique antique snark broken busted plz haul way

    Adores: 2
  13. 2013 April 2
    PhantomBanker permalink

    **Squints, blinks, wipes eyes**

    Nope, still hard to read some of those titles. Except for that female figure one–that one jumped right out to me.

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 April 2
      PhantomBanker permalink

      Is that “Generation MILF” in the first picture?

      Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 2

      I have that book! Wait, did Sparky sneak into my house and photograph my boxes of books?

      :checks boxes:

      Dammit, he didn’t unpack anything!

      Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 2
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I spotted India, Japanese, Keith County Journal, The North American Buffalo Second Edition (now with more buffalo?), Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and Mali Man. As well as Semiotext[e] USA. WTF is a Semiotext[e] ?

      “Earth from Above” and “Drawing the Female Figure” are the only ones that sound even slightly interesting to me.

      Adores: 1
  14. 2013 April 2
    Tankerbell permalink

    Sparky’s automotive interests include “any van”, because the white, windowless one he had down by the river got trashed collecting those 300 children.

    Adores: 5
  15. 2013 April 2
    Fuselagier permalink

    I can’t wait for my kids to dig into “Atlas of Cancer Cytology”! Talk about building a foundation for success…

    OTOH, I would have very much appreciated “Drawing the Female Figure” when I was of a certain age, so I guess it balanced out.

    Adores: 2
  16. 2013 April 2
    LurkRealClose permalink

    A. If I had 300 Children, perfect or not, I would never have time to read books.

    B. I have some experience in book collecting, disclaimer: mostly in SciFi, Fantasy, and Modern Classics, and none of these appear to be worth anything, although I did not get out my mag glass. I do have a mag light, but they still appear worthless.

    C. Leaving on the “Used” stickers from the college book store does not generally enhance the value of a title.

    D. Profit? No, no, I don’t think so.

    Adores: 2
  17. 2013 April 2
    Texchanchan permalink

    That is the book collection of somebody who doesn’t read. It’s the residue after the garage sale is over. The Friends of the Library might sell them for a dollar a box at the semi-annual sale. Recycle them.

    The only other use I can think of is habitat for termite experiments.

    Well, mulch.

    Adores: 2
  18. 2013 April 2

    This is the aftermath of a horrible scientific experiment seeking to observe what happens if you raise 300 perfect children on a steady diet of Uri Geller, nude drawings, crackpot theories about the consciousness of water, and “treats!”

    The previous experiment, which raised 200 imperfect children on a steady diet of Robert Crumb, Dianetics, drawings of the heads of ship captains, and 60s cookbooks with horrible washed-out pictures, resulted in five serial killers, Martha Stewart, and that guy in your neighborhood who always plays music too loud at night.

    Fortunately for their grant money, this translated in Cat Math as a complete success.

    Adores: 4
  19. 2013 April 3

    TC, tigprincess, You were safe from clowns while in the box, but now it’s time to leave. Exit through the lounge. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Great Expectations!

    Adores: 1
  20. 2013 April 4

    Oh my gosh, this one had me laughing so hard my stomach hurts! Keep em coming!

    Adores: 1
  21. 2013 April 5
    Flavia permalink

    I’m sure I can’t be the only one on here that has moved and downsized their library. Boxes and boxes carried into Half Price Books and you walk out with less than $100, and that’s a charitable estimate. But these old books are special. Children will love them (if there’s one thing young people dig on, it’s anarchist journals from the 1980’s.)

    Sure, I’ll give you my Honda, dude. But wait. It’s a V6. Is the deal off? Damn it.

    Adores: 1

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