The 8 suckiest Craigslist ads, page 2 …

5. Update to YSaC, Vol. 333: Database fail LIVE!

A while back I posted this shining example of when spambots go hilariously awry, featuring this post:

The craigs list – 34

Hello. I am an MAN looking for an WOMAN who is LAID BACK. I am 21 years old and I like to WATERSKIING and also to CAMPING. I am a good sense of humor with a fun and tall.

My favorite movies are TITANIC, FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, and [ERROR: MOVIE NOT FOUND], but I’m not into chick flicks.

I like to take my dog, MIFFY in the back seet of my HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTOR CYCLE. Maybe you would like to ride with us?

My favorite music bands are ABBA, AC//DC, and AIROSMITH.


Not content to leave awful enough alone, boyofutica has turned this post into a live-action dating video:

This. Is. Awesome. The rubber duckie bit at the end made me cry with laughter. Thank you!!

6. YSaC, Vol. 463: A different use of the “slimy” tag …



1959 was a very good year for Crisco. It had an excellent growing season, with not too much rain. This 1959 Crisco is drinking well now, and will continue to age well for the next forty to fifty years. The Shortening Enthusiast gives it a 94. Pairs well with cheese, particularly a 60-year Gouda. Good mouth feel, with a slight slime factor on the first taste that is taken over by the final taste of rancid.

What is it with people on Craigslist and expired Crisco? At least those people weren’t trying to charge actual money for it.

Thanks, Matt — I don’t think I’ll be eating anything for a while after seeing that.

7. YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition.

Just making sure the “possibly awesome” tag doesn’t feel neglected:

Ceramic bald Lionel Richie bust wanted

I am looking for a replica of the bust made in the Lionel Richie “Hello” video.

However I’d like it to be bald as I intend to recreate that lovable afromullet with some sort of cream cheese dip at parties. Not that I have many parties, but if I had this, I might start. I’d like it to be maybe about a foot tall. It really has to look like that bust (which oddly enough doesn’t look like Lionel Richie at all) or it won’t be worth it. Hopefully it can be the same orangish-brown matte finish that is in the video but I understand making it safe for a cheesy-afro might lead to some compromises.

Please email me with a bid including a breakdown the cost of supplies and labor. I can also exchange for computer repair (mac/pc, virus/malware repair, etc) or maybe a 12″ G4 iBook,

Thank you to Curtis for informing me that terracotta would not be a good choice for a food-safe sculpture.
Take care.

You have cream cheese as your hair,
You have pimentos as your teeth;
You’re a bust of Lionel Richie,
With ceramics underneath
Tell me how to make the dip
For I haven’t got a clue
And I want to tell you so much, I love you …

Thanks, David!

8. YSaC, Vol. 615: D’oh! A deer, a bedazzled deer …

Deer Feet, gun/coat hanger, (be-dazzled.) – $50

This is a very unique piece, more for a young girls room. It has five deer feet that are used for hanging coats, but could also be used to set a gun on.The feet are painted to rezemble more of a zebra, and each hoof has rhinestones added to the tip. The backboard is black with speckled pink. Also forgot to mention there are five design handkerchiefs hanging from the hooves.Very unique piece, one of a kind, hope you like it!!

Because what young girl wouldn’t love to have a coat/gun rack made out of five bedazzled deer feet?

Thanks, Samantha!

17 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 July 8

    There’s a reason why I “liked” the clay head from the Lionel Richie “Hello” video on FB….. <3

    Adores: 0
  2. 2010 July 8
    Steph permalink

    They’re all so fail-tastic! I knew the truck of bees would be there… and the not.a.Lionel… Should’ve expected the Crisco.

    Adores: 1
  3. 2010 July 9
    Windrose permalink

    How do you suck at Craigslist? Let me count the ways.

    So now I’m wondering what the top 20 would be. Shirley there would be one of many advertising one item and showing photos of another unrelated item.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 July 9
      gloria snockers permalink

      stop calling me shirley

      Adores: 10
      • 2011 May 1
        David S permalink

        Oh wow. I laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughed!

        Adores: 1
  4. 2010 July 9
    TacoMagic permalink

    I’m rather surprised that the red table didn’t make the list.

    We love you red table!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 9

      No way TM, red table is the BEST ad ever. It’s in a class of its own.

      Adores: 6
  5. 2010 July 9
    LimeLolly permalink

    Ah…. sweet fail mysteries of life.

    Adores: 3
  6. 2010 July 16

    What no clothespin jeebus? That’s okay, I at least got a new way of saying WTF out of it…

    My fav…has to be the spambot gone awry w/rubber duckie…

    Adores: 5
  7. 2010 August 30
    kelly permalink

    So I found this site by accident and have now spent the last ten minutes crying I’m laughing so hard at the lionel ritchie bust thingy. It was actually the new song that put me over the edge. Someone needs to record that shit and make the bust the star of the whole damn thing.

    Adores: 5
  8. 2011 January 3

    If the lack of a Lionel Richie bust is what’s keeping you from having parties, then I suggest that you not have parties even if you find one.

    Adores: 7
  9. 2011 February 11
    Andrea permalink

    Has anyone ever noticed that the blind chick in the Hello video turns out the light after she finishes reading? Why would she need a light on to read Braille?? She’s BLIND!!
    I have been wanting to get that off my chest since junior high!!

    Ah. Thank you.

    Adores: 9
  10. 2011 May 12
    kepod permalink

    The deer hoof rack has FIVE feet. FIVE. So there were at least two deer required for this project. …What happened to the rest of the feet? D:

    Adores: 7
  11. 2012 January 17
    Lindsay permalink

    How were the not.a.lion posts left out of this?!?!?

    Adores: 2
  12. 2012 March 5
    Loki Madcap permalink

    Why does the deer foot gun/coat stand have 5 feet……what happend to the other feet!!

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 May 15
      Windrose permalink

      There’s an echo in here.

      Adores: 1

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