YSaC, Vol. 587: Post the Monkey!

2010 February 24

Need Help Posting Pictures to Craigslist? I CAN HELP Funiture!


I can help you post any pictures to your ad on craigslist.

I will even come to you and take the pictures of your items for sale.
Then Ill post your items to sell on craigslist.

If you don’t have time to list your item or you just don’t know how to post or add pictures to your posting, I can do it for you.

FOR JUST $20 YOU GET:

Big Beautiful pictures and as many as you want or need to show potential buyers the detail they need to want to buy your item.

I’m no way affiliated to craigslist, but I do use craigslist and there’s a lot of good sales but NO PICTURES to help sell the items. Most people viewing craigslist want to see pics of your items. I assure your pictures will sell your item.

Sellers!!! do not sell yourself short, if you really want to sell your item add pictures, especially yard sales, and garage sales etc.

If you need help e-mail me or call me.

[email]

###-###-#### text Msging are welcome.

"t"

I’ll be glad to help.

Example size pictures.

Example 1

[The second picture is exactly the same picture at a different resolution.]

Wow! For $20, you'll add pictures to my Craigslist ad, something which I could do for free by myself? That's fantastic! That's like charging people to flag Craigslist ads! The only thing that would be more perfect would be if, after we posted this here on YSaC, someone contacted US for help with posting pictures on Craigslist.

It also raises the question: If you are trying to impress potential clients with your mad photo posting skilz, why THIS particular picture? There's nothing like a monkey on a bedspread to say "high class commercial photography." And there's nothing like eating hay when you're faint.

"'I should think throwing some cold water over you would be better,' Alice suggested: '-or some sal-volatile.'
'I didn't say there was nothing better,' the King replied. 'I said there was nothing like it.'
Which Alice did not venture to deny."

Thanks for the link, Jessica!

103 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 February 24
    penguin permalink

    I can hire him to take pictures of the coupons I am going to sell on CL. Sweet!

    Adores: 7
  2. 2010 February 24
    Ron permalink

    To be fair, he says he'll help FURNITURE post pictures on craigslist, not people. And furniture does have trouble doing that, what with the lack of hands at all. And chester drawers and the armore are too busy preventing the French to do it themselves anyway.

    Ron

    Adores: 46
    • 2010 February 24

      Major water-spewing and tears running down the cheeks ensues!!

      Elebenty-hunnert!!!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 February 24
      penguin permalink

      I'm a couch potato. Does that qualify?

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 February 24

      So that is where my Not.A.Lion pictures and nacho fountain went! My furniture must have sold them on CraigsList. I always thought my desk was up to no good.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 February 24

        Kelli...I don't know how to tell you this, but your other furniture is trying to sell your dinning set and your cuoach on CL.

        I...I thought you'd want to know.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 February 24

          Coco - I can live without the dinning set, the noise was driving me crazy, but the cuoach is supposed to be helping my chairleaders this weekend.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 February 24
        TacoMmagic permalink

        Kelli... I've begun to suspect that my furniture has been seening your furniture behind our backs.

        I'm filing for for a dumpster.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 February 24
        Windrose permalink

        That beautiful table you wanted to sell? The couch gave it away for free!

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 February 24

          Windrose - Not my Red Table for Sale! They took it for free?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 February 24
          Windrose permalink

          The very one!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 24

      Precisely. It's obviously the furniture that has been posting ads on Craiglist all this time. And how would an Ottoman know how to spell itself? Have you ever seen a couch at a spelling bee? I rest my cabinet.

      Adores: 16
    • 2010 February 24
      CapnMac permalink

      Thought he spelt that as "fun-iture" which suggests some sort Spoonerism-slip of over enjoying the "D" side of B&D, perhaps?

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 24
      D / DM permalink

      Look again. He didn't say FURNITURE at all.

      I think he was promising the extreme FUNITURE his customers would have working with him to post a add on the criag'slist.

      Adores: 1
  3. 2010 February 24

    The ad starts with an offer to help "funiture", but then goes on to describe awesome skilz with a camera.

    I'm left confused and disappointed. My "funiture" is in need of an intervention, especially since it has been taking a beating from the new man in my life. He's two, and everything he touches turns sticky.

    "Funiture" is feeling used and abused, and here I thought I could get him the help he needed...all for only $20! Sigh...

    Adores: 5
  4. 2010 February 24
    sarajean80 permalink

    I wonder if they would accept a tub of vintage cereals instead of actual money?

    I've also got this minty shell...if you hold it up to your ear, you can hear the internet laughing at you.

    Adores: 25
  5. 2010 February 24
    mudslicker permalink

    Awesome! Lamar is back!

    But alas, Curious George* does not have that come-hither look like HYPNO-DOG!

    http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3468

    *I love it when artistic photographers use big words like resolution. Makes me feel like they're totally legit.

    Adores: 2
  6. 2010 February 24
    Windrose permalink

    So, you don't think this is going to be a huge money-maker? *stashes camera and monkey under the funiture, whistles nonchalantly*

    Adores: 6
  7. 2010 February 24
    Colleen in MA permalink

    Can someone help me post my comment? This internets thing is so hard. If you could just go ahead and post my comment for me, there's $20 in it for ya! And you should know - I'm a frequent commenter, so there more where that came from. Maybe we could work some kind of arrangement out. Perhaps a bulk discount if I sit on you?

    Adores: 19
  8. 2010 February 24
    Lola permalink

    My "funiture" is so damn helpless (I have to move it myself!) I'm glad these people have taken up this cause. However, I don't think I want my furniture posting pictures to Craigslist. My furniture cannot tell tales *ahem*, and that's the way things should be.

    Adores: 5
  9. 2010 February 24
    TacoMmagic permalink

    1. I have an item that I want to sell for $8
    2. I have no knowledge of how to take a picture let alone post it.
    3. I hire an enterprising ass clown for $20 to do it for me.
    4. My item sells.
    5. I've made $8.

    Seems straight forward to me.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 February 24
      mudslicker permalink

      You're using the cat math calculator again TMm. You totally forgot to figure in taxes.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 24
        Windrose permalink

        What's the going tax on Craigslist scams these days?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          mudslicker permalink

          8% of Wholesale, Retail or Ripoff.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          TacoMmagic permalink

          Sqrt(broccoli) dollars.

          Adores: 0
  10. 2010 February 24

    A bit off topic, but does it bother anyone else that Curious George doesn't have a tail?

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 24
      Heather permalink

      Got too curious with a guillotine.

      Also, I'm presenting my punch card! Woop woop! This is my second featured comment. The first one was eons ago and I can't even remember what it was, sadly.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 24
        Windrose permalink

        Well-deserved, Heather. *punchity-punch* Too bad your first Don't Suck appearance is lost in the misty vales of prehistory. But the good news it, this one will be recorded forever in the forums.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 24
      Hartster permalink

      Curious George doesn't have a tail... because someone else was spanking the monkey.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 24
        Windrose permalink

        Ah, no wonder he looks shocked.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          TacoMmagic permalink

          He must have eaten the free sausage.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          Hartster permalink

          Yes, The Man With the Yellow Hat did it. Ah, why's it always gotta be The Man?!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          Lola permalink

          How shocked can he be when he appears to be wearing a half-shirt that says "Get (or Got) Curious"? Shockery should be expected to come with the territory.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          Windrose permalink

          Don't you know you're going to shock the monkey?
          Darling, please!
          Don't like it but I guess I'm learning.
          Monkey, monkey, monkey.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          Hartster permalink

          Ah, yes. "Curious George Discovers Meth". I'll be reading that book at Read Across America Day to grade schoolers. Followed by "Curious George and the Cosmetics Testers".

          Adores: 6
    • 2010 February 24
      mudslicker permalink

      I'm more disappointed that this Anne Geddes of the animal world didn't even attempt to engage the viewer by posing George in an interesting primate composition. It just screams for something monkeyesque such as hanging with deer carcii (I'm adopting this word) from the swing set monkey bars...

      ....or flinging poo from the inside of a French prevential amore.

      Where's the $20 worth of pathos and suffering for your art "t"...? All we get is crotch with no tail.

      Adores: 6
  11. 2010 February 24
    Camille permalink

    Why am I seeing ads for beef jerky?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 24
      Windrose permalink

      Camille, me too. The Fat Man's Jerky does sound interesting. If only there was a picture of it.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 24
        Lola permalink

        I don't want to see the fat man's jerky. I want him to put it away, the pervert.

        Adores: 13
    • 2010 February 24
      mudslicker permalink

      I'm getting Stove Top stuffing recipes.

      Woo Hoo!!! Putting the "fun" back in funeral again!

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 24

      Uh. My ads all say: "How I Get Free Sausages! Thanks to this website, I never have to pay for sausages anymore. "

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 24
        Lola permalink

        My dirty mind suspects there's a euphemism there somewhere.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          TacoMmagic permalink

          My dirty mind suspects the same thing.

          It also has several suggestions on how to get free sausages.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 24
          Windrose permalink

          I had free sausage this morning. 8) What? TMI?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24

          Yes, TMI: Too Much Innuendo. ;-)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 February 24
          Bacontini permalink

          Bacontini not have de sausages, but Bacontini still free to those who like de breakfast meats.

          Yes, put Bacontini's meat in your mouth for de rich flavor of bacon. What, why you back away from Bacontini? He only want to give you his meat for free.

          Oh hello officer, Bacontini think there is a mistake. He only offer to let these people eat his meat and now dey are angry. Why you cuffing Bacontini?

          Apparently Bacontini go now. He will see de ladies later.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 February 24
          Lola permalink

          Bacontini, here's a tip for jail: don't talk about or get out your tea bags OR your meat. Safety first!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          Bacontini permalink

          Luckily, Bacontini keeps his rim greased, so he always ready for attention even in de jail.

          Why you look at Bacontini dat way?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 February 24
          mudslicker permalink

          Ewww...Bacontini...you put the "pig" back in "pork"...!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 24
          jackie31337 permalink

          What I want to know is where I can get some free vegetarian sausages. All the ones I've seen around here are meaty.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          sarajean80 permalink

          Meatless sausages can be satisfying, but every once and a while you kind of want something a little more substantial.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          CapnMac permalink

          "equal oppertunity sausage" causes me to think of such items as boudain, haggis, blood sausages and the like. Which can be rather nice in discrete, well-executed, doses.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          sarajean80 permalink

          Don't forget the chorizo! I like a little spicy sausage every now and then.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 24

        Do you like the links, or the pattys? I prefer Pattys to Links.

        BTW, really great singing Jackie. Do you naturally sound just like Julie Andrews? :)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          sarajean80 permalink

          I am an equal opportunity sausage aficionado.

          And I second the kudos to Jackie and everyone else who is to blame... er, I mean "responsible" for the video. Way to go, guys!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 25
          jackie31337 permalink

          Thanks jg and sarajean80. I don't always sound like Julie Andrews. I'm generally pretty good at sound-alikes (I also did the female vocals for A Whole Nude World 11 years ago), but my natural tendency is more toward opera.

          Adores: 0
  12. 2010 February 24
    emesis permalink

    Regardless of price, I'm just not sure about the basic concept.

    Most of the furniture items I've seen posted on craigslist would be much easier to sell if they didn't have any pictures. How on earth can this guy assure me that the pictures of my hideously flowered couch will help me sell it?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 24
      TacoMmagic permalink

      Indeed. Were there pictures with the items, most of my livingroom set would actually match. And I couldn't possibly stand for that.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 February 24
        sarajean80 permalink

        Same here. If anything I owned actually matched, I'd probably spontaneously combust. Most of the soft surfaces in my place are covered with towels or slip covers to catch the cat hair anyway. (By "slip covers" I mean "quilts with the fewest holes in them")

        Adores: 0
  13. 2010 February 24
    Hartster permalink

    This poster who is helping furniture take pictures better make sure the furniture is of legal age. Wouldn't want to be an accessory to sexting. (Is that a Murphy bed in your pocket or are you happy to see me?)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 24
      jackie31337 permalink

      You mean pictures like these? I'm reasonably sure all the furniture pictured here is of age, but you never can tell with some of these retro chairs.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 24
        Windrose permalink

        Bleach wash, please. Sigh. Should know better than to follow every link blithely like that.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Yes, please pass the bleach this way when you are done, Windrose.

          Jackie - please tell me you just googled that, and it isn't a web site you regularly visit. Please?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          Windrose permalink

          *passes bleach to LurkRealClose* Hmm, seems to be losing its strength.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 25
          jackie31337 permalink

          I have to admit that it was not the result of a quick search for pictures of furniture in compromising positions. I can't remember how I first found Furniture Porn. I've been aware of it for a REALLY long time now. It's one of the more hilarious (and less disturbing) examples of rule 34 I've seen.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2010 February 24
    Windrose permalink

    Trying to lure Develish1 back to the comments:

    see more Lol Celebs

    Whoa! Didn't realize the link was so massive! Good thing it was reduced to that little bitty thing there. 8)

    Adores: 0
  15. 2010 February 24
    EclecticBlue permalink

    Curious George and the Homemade Throw Pillow from the 70's

    Or, alternatively, I've got: Curious George and the Unfortunate $20 Crotch-Shot

    Other ideas? :-)

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 February 24
      Lola permalink

      Curious George and the "where's the money" shot.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 24
        sarajean80 permalink

        " Curious George and his Gambling Problem"

        "I swear, I'll have the bananas by Tuesday! What are you doing? Let go of me! I already gave you the hat, I have nothing... No, not the tail, not the...!" CRACK

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 February 24

      "Curious George In...I Was Young And I Needed The Money"

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 24
        sarajean80 permalink

        There is a creepy CraigsList-Casual-Encounters-posting air about that pose.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          Lola permalink

          Dead on, sarajean. All that's missing is a companion picture - blurry close up of his (nonexistent, in this case) genitalia.*

          *Ever seen the blog "Desperately seeking ... something"? It has a disclaimer before you click in because it's defo NSFW. It is both hysterical and pathetic, so of course I love it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 24
          sarajean80 permalink

          *googles "Desperately seeking … something"*

          Thanks Lola, now I am sad and giggly at the same time. I didn't know I could do that.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 25
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      "Bi-Curious George Hides the Banana of Love"

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 February 25

        *snorting coffee out of nose*

        Adores: 0
  16. 2010 February 24
    Bavec permalink

    See, thought this person has Tourette syndrome where they have to FURNITURE! shout out a certain FURNITURE! word when they are having a conversation. FURNITURE! How unfortunate.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourette_syndrome

    Adores: 1
  17. 2010 February 24

    I'm confused by that "t" just sitting there in the middle of the ad. What does it mean?!?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 24
      Windrose permalink

      Stephanie, I think that's his handle. His web name. Who he is to his on-line community. Could be a her, for that matter. But he will sell you that t for 2 dollars. 8)

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 24
        TacoMmagic permalink

        He also pitties the fool.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 February 24

          Fool! You talking a whole load o' jibba jabba!

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 24
      mudslicker permalink

      I'm assuming "t" is the name of the Fujifilm fool who placed the ad.

      Adores: 1
  18. 2010 February 24

    Curious George hated the advent of the Internet.

    The one time he gets the paper stuck to his arse, and some asshat's around to forever capture the moment on film.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 February 24
      sarajean80 permalink

      Ah, the good ol' days - when you had to wait until someone was famous to leak embarrassing nude photos of them to the press.
      Now we have Facebook, where you can get (in)famous for posting embarrassing nude photos of yourself.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 February 24

        So true, sarajean...which brings up a question...why do people who do that ASSume the only folks who are going to see said photos are the ones they intend to see said photos??

        Adores: 2
  19. 2010 February 24
    Windrose permalink

    OT -- I just discovered the group Neanderthal Sponge Cake. 8)

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 24
      mudslicker permalink

      Headlining for FatMan's Beef Jerky (actual ad over there ------>)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 24
        Lola permalink

        Now the ad generator is featuring "Sausage Maker Seasonings
        Create Your Own Succulent Sausages [italics added] using our Mixes." Which is waaaaay too potentially innuendo-filled for me ... I think my brain has given up trying to do work today and is instead just generating smut.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 24
          sarajean80 permalink

          I'm getting the eponymous Fat Man's Jerky and wireless ethernet adaptors, a combination that I find very odd and disturbing.

          Adores: 0
  20. 2010 February 24

    I wonder if Curious George chewed his tail off when he was hung from the swingset...

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 24
      Hartster permalink

      Nope. He lost his tail on the monkey bars, which is the other playground equipment that will be included. (You know, I knew people who lost their tail on the monkey bars....)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 24

        I knew people who got tail on the monkey bars.

        Adores: 3
  21. 2010 February 24
    queensbee permalink

    maybe they left it with the swing set and the deer.... i still cant get that image outta my braim.

    Adores: 0
  22. 2010 February 24
    JAMen permalink

    Get the monkey some pants!
    Pervert.
    Monkey porn is the last thing I need right now.
    I thought we were paying that other guy to block this kind of smut!

    Adores: 2
  23. 2010 February 24

    Poor George, who knew that his experiment with the ether was just a gateway into harder drugs and harder living. Look at him now, taking low paying "modeling" jobs for amature "photographers." Bet that breaks the man in the yellow hat's heart.

    Adores: 1
  24. 2010 February 24
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    I like the part about using photos for yard sales and garage sales.

    So, first you stage your yard sale in advance. Then this guy comes by and takes photos of a bunch of crap spread around your yard. Then you pack it all back up, post an ad, and pull everything back out a few days later for the actual yard sale.

    Sign me up!

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 25
      mudslicker permalink

      You're not getting with the program BS!!! The pictures are well worth it and are "what you NEED to show potential buyers the detail they need to want to buy your item"... That is just so obviously worth the tradeoff.

      Adores: 0
  25. 2012 July 20

    Achten Sie darauf, wecken dass Lesers Wunsch . Meine eigene Der Immobilienmarkt Inhalt Stücke gemeinsam mit dem allerbesten Kosten tendenziell sind in der Regel Dinge, Ihre pic in unserem $ 17, 500 Haushalt. In Anbetracht Interessierten Lernen Typen von Haushalt neigen wir dazu, kann gut zahlen für der? Viele Fans Zuschauer sind im Allgemeinen viel zu! Es ist ein . "Necken Zoll louis vuitton taschen
    13. Sie haben bestimmt beschriebenen fundamentalen Bestimmungen und zusätzlich das sein wird mysteriösen hin breite Öffentlichkeit insbesondere zusammen mit muss erwähnt artikuliert. Stellen Sie sicher, gekommen zu sein kontinuierliche in ihre Arbeit mit;

    Adores: 0
    • 2012 December 7

      Attention, benevolent overlords! German spambot ahoy!

      Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS