YSaC, Vol. 1734: One without so much strawberry tart in it.

2014 July 25

Do you want a pet, but don’t have time to deal with all those pesky needs they have? Here’s two possibilities that might be right up your alley:

Frozen Meduim Rat

condition: new
Its a gray frozen rat we recently sold our snake and we had a extra frozen rat, if any one wants it we dident want to throw it away.

Now, to my mind, “new” condition for a rat is probably still breathing, but whatever. It’s low maintenance! It doesn’t need food! It doesn’t need water! It doesn’t even need oxygen! It does, however, probably need a cool place to keep the smell down.

Still too much work?

Free to a good loving home

Free to good home, “Boulder” has been a wonderful companion.

However we are forced to downsize and are moving to an apt.

They do not allow Boulders on the premises

Boulder is very quiet, he will just sit with you for hours on end.

Please give Boulder a good home.

Boulder doesn’t need refrigeration, so you could start here, and when you feel prepared, work your way up to dead rat.

Thanks for the posts, Michael and Alisha!

23 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 July 25

    They’re both pining for the fjords.

    Adores: 4
  2. 2014 July 25
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Rats! I thought that if I was boulder, great things would be mine! Now I know life is nothing but a small frozen rodent looking for a nice warm belly, I mean erm, home. Perhaps we could bury it under some sort of large, heavy, igneous object…

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 July 25
      capnmac permalink

      Don’t be so sedimentary, that’s clearly basaltic 🙂

      Adores: 4
  3. 2014 July 25
    meeshybee permalink

    I hate it when people take their pets for granite.

    Adores: 8
  4. 2014 July 25

    Poor Boulder….

    I knew this would happen.

    When people started getting their Pet Rocks back in the day they had no idea just how large these things get when full grown. And, some of these babies can live upwards of 1,000 years!

    Why I’ve seen whole fields covered in boulders of different sizes, and it’s apparent they were just taken out and dumped by callous owners.

    People, please, for the love of clothespin jeebus, do your homework before bringing a pet into your life!

    Adores: 17
    • 2014 July 25

      I’ve even heard of a boulder that grew so big, it became its own city!!!

      Boulders, not just for landscape, but for life.

      Adores: 4
    • 2014 July 25
      nojazzhere permalink

      On the other hand, you don’t have to worry about a “frozen medium rat” getting too large….he will always be a “medium”, never a “large” or “x-tra large”.

      Too bad we can’t freeze our children when they’re around six or seven….they’re so cute at that age!!!!

      Adores: 4
      • 2014 July 25
        windrose permalink

        NJ, you CAN freeze your children, you just need to have a really good story when nosey people want to know where they are. And if your power goes out, just make sure you have an escape plan, or are resigned to wearing orange jumpsuits.

        Adores: 2
      • 2014 July 25
        Demon Duck of Doom permalink

        Actually, we don’t know the rat’s size, only that it’s a meduim, which I’m guessing is a clairvoyant desert dweller.

        Adores: 4
  5. 2014 July 25
    HamCan permalink

    Sparky you’re a tool place a big ad
    Thinkin’ on your feet, gonna sell a big stone some day
    You got rat on some ice
    You big ick-face
    Pimpin’ your boulder all over the place

    He will He will rock you
    He will he will rock you

    Adores: 7
  6. 2014 July 25
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Yeah, I heard Denver was getting too clingy lately.

    Adores: 1
  7. 2014 July 25
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    So they sold their snake one rat, but had a spare lying around. Is there some reason Snakey didn’t want to buy two? I’d be suspicious.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2014 July 25
    Ralph permalink

    Sorry Sparky #1, but I don’t want to get involved with a frozen Gray, even if it’s only a rat. Those aliens are not bashful about abducting humans in return. I’ve always ordered from rodentpro.com which sells good old ‘Murcan white rats.

    And Sparky #2 is guilty of my pet peeve on craigslist — not telling us the size, age, sex, or reproductive status of his pet. With my luck. I’d be stuck with a bunch of gravel running around the house and getting into my shoes.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 July 25
      mudslicker permalink

      No info if it’s had all its shots or if it has papers either. I mean, what if I wanted to show Boulder?

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 July 25

        Mudsy, do you use one of those over the shoulder boulder holders to show your boulders?

        Adores: 4
  9. 2014 July 25
    Brer Fox permalink

    I thought frozen things turned blue.

    Adores: 1
  10. 2014 July 25
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I don’t know if Boulder’s stony silence means he’s ignoring me or he’s a good listener.

    Adores: 2
  11. 2014 July 25
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I’m surprised Kazi hasn’t mentioned that nobody needs a frozen medium rat when they have a large frozen tundra.

    Adores: 1
  12. 2014 July 25
    Brer Fox permalink

    I won’t have another pet boulder. The last one I had jumped up on the foot of bed and splatted me against the wall. I was in traction or weeks.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 July 25
      Brer Fox permalink

      On the up side, a boulder is easier to pet than an halibut.

      Adores: 1
  13. 2014 July 25
    P-Rex permalink

    It does, however, probably need a cool place to keep the smell down.

    Not keeping them cool makes them very artistic. They develop an uncanny ability to draw flies.

    Adores: 3
  14. 2014 July 25
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Which is better?
    Well, you can have your beverage on the rocks.
    You probably don’t want your beverage on the rats.
    Then again, the frozen rat is colder than the boulder.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2014 July 26
    Brer Fox permalink

    Hey Boulder! Watch me pull a rat out of my freezer.
    Nothin’ in my fridge…Presto!
    No doubt about it. I gotta get me another snake!

    Adores: 0

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