YSaC, Vol. 504: They’ve nested so long they’ve hatched a baby!
2009 December 3
CHIPPENDALE STYLE NESTING TABLES – $25
TWO little nesting tables – price is for the pair. Perfect for tea and strumpets. Cash only; delivery available. Email or CALL ME at (xxx) xxx-xxxx.
These two tables — go ahead, count all three of them, there’s two there — are perfect for tea and strumpets. You can tell that this person has been storing their strumpet on the top table for quite some time. I personally store my strumpets in my amoure (thats’s storage thing for guys, you know, but I use it for my strumpets).
At least they got “Chippendale” right, which is more than I can say for these folks:
chip and dale dining room chairs – $150
6 chip and dale chairs, two have arms four do not have arm. two need some repair. Mahogony wood
Thanks, Amanda and Romeo!
The second ad must be talking about those cute little Disney chipmunks.
Does that means there are 3 Chip chairs and 3 Dale chairs?
I’d only consider buying those if they came with the original Gadget and Monty side tables and the Zipper 6 place dining table.
Hold on a second I think the early 90s are calling me, I’ll be right back…
Just as I was reading this, my phone actually started ringing. It might have been the 90s as well, but I was expecting a call from the 1880s, so you never know.
Perhaps – but some of those poor chipmunks are armless.
Who would rip the arms off Chip and Dale?! How can they be Rescue Rangers without them?!
Ed-
I first read it and thought it said chip and dip.
And I want it served in tacomagic’s awesome sombrero!!!
Is eating chip and dip out of my sombrero anything like drinking champagne out of a Prima Donna’s shoe?
If so I’m flattered… I think.
In other news: Nacho, nacho hat. I wanna eat a nacho hat; nacho, nacho, nacho, nacho, nacho hat.
If nacho hat, then whose?
hehe…
it’s nacho hat, its’s my hat.
sorry.
I hate it when some company (often Disney) comes up with a cute name for something that is a play on a real word, like “Chip and Dale” for Chippendale. The reason I hate it is because to many people, the real word BECOMES the cutesy Disney pun. Example? Well, the aforementioned one, of course; but here’s another one. Everybody knew that the jolly old elf’s name was Santa CLAUS until that Tim Allen movie came out in the early ’90s. Now I see his name misspelled Santa CLAUSE all the time.
To be fair, with things like “French Prudential” I don’t think that misspelling can be totally blamed on the “Evil D”. I’d hazard a guess that most of the people spelling it like that would probably have spelled it that way even without Tim Allen making a bad movie.
Aww I was looking for tables more suited for trollops. Darn.
Can I use it for harlots, maybe?
Maybe harlots. Definitely not tarts.
I’m in need of something for my slatterns, sluts and slappers. These are close but … I don’t want to lower my standards or look cheap.
What about moistened bints?
nice Python reference Coco!
You’ve convinced me. I need some new fornicature.
Can fornicature also be infernoture?
Ch-ch-ch-chip and Dale, dining room tables! Ch-ch-ch-Chip and Dale, dining room tables!
I don’t know… I find the first one kind of charming. 🙂
The top of the tallest one is pretty faded, though. I’m guessing it was once under a window, the darker circles probably mark where potted plants were kept.
Poor thing must be waiting for lost-compass and his Murphy’s Oil Soap.
Hmm… a massage à trois? Intriguing.
now look what you did. We wont get any sense out of lost_compass now for at least an hour.
That’s where they parked the strumpet. Them’s strumpet marks.
That’s a lovely bit of strumpet right there. And she’s got two sisters.
Now, see, that’s obviously just a typo. The poster is just imagining that you’re share a pot of darjeeling with Miles Davis and Wynton Marsalis.
*you’ll, not you’re. I didn’t get the dang edit function. (Got a “400 Bad Request” instead.)
Dang klutzy typing spoiled my jape.
…which, you will be glad to discover, is an anagram of
“desalinated gloppy pygmy zit junk.”
After reading that, I think I’ll pass on the tea. Even if it would be with Miles and Wynton.
So—I lit a fire. Isn’t it good? Ma-ho-go-ny wood
I was hearing it as “My agony” to the tune of “My Sharona”, but I like your version better.
Anyone remember to bring the special brownies?
Apologies for stepping on your post isaac. I responded with my own before carefully perusing content.
Nice to know we shared a brain cell today though.
Thanks, isaac – if I’ve got to have an earworm, I’m glad you made it the Beatles. This sure beats those recent, horrible days of Rupert Holmes, “Porker Face”, and “Dick in a Box”.
The real question, of course, is whether the owner tells his/her guests that he/she’s serving tea and strumpets.
“Hello, Bishop, come in. I’ve made some lovely tea and strumpets for your visit.”
“Um… really, you shouldn’t have…? Makes a nice change from crumpets.”
Maybe you’re supposed to have the strumpets serve the tea.
Lulz
It’s obviously where you place the refreshments at a vicars-and-tarts party. Perfect height for the strumpets. Convenient for all.
A what-and-WHAT party?
This has the sound of British humour.
oh Sarajean, you’re missing out if you haven’t been to at least one V & T party in your life: missing the complete humiliation of wearing the costume, the drunken groping, the serious hangover, the hideous photos appearing on FB, not that i’ve been there people, nuh-uh, that was some other type of biscuit.
sweetbiscuit,
Now I REALLY want to go. (Yes, really. I need to get out more.)
There’s a vicars-and-tarts party toward the beginning of the (pretty funny) movie “Starter for 10”. That’s the first and only time I’d ever heard of one. I need to get out more too. Preferably to London.
There’s one – well, there’s *supposed* to be one, hence the comedy – in Bridget Jones’ Diary, also.
I have been studyig Hogarth prints for too long. My first thought when I saw those spots on the table after reading it was perfect for strumpets, was “Oh, that table has VD.”
It has the French Prudential pox!
In the wild, the normally placid Chippendale table becomes highly protective of her young, and will inflict painful splinters on any interlopers.
Well, of COURSE you want Chippendale tables if you’re a strumpet! Who else would want “erotic male dancer” tables?
Wait a minute! Enjoying chippendale’s makes me a strumpet?!?!?! Crap, now I can’t run for office.
I think there are actually just two tables there (count the legs). The top table appears to have a little built in shelf, is all.
I think the legs of the Papa Bear table aren’t visible because the Mama Bear table is pulled out a little bit. All we can see are her legs and the Baby Bear legs.
(Look at the way the legs connect with the table surfaces.)
I wasted a minute of my life there zooming in to see the pic better. After doing so though, I could see three tables, and indeed three distinct sets of legs. Isasc is right about one hiding the other, but you can see the tops of the largest tables legs if you look closely.
Now I need to rest my eyes by looking at something soothing. any suggestions?
Probably not this.
aarrrggghhhh, my eyes! I needed eye bleach the first time I looked at that thing.
yes Dan, that’s just mean-spirited….but i like your work.
I have a Chippendale’s Calendar from 1985.
now that sounds far more soothing.
Tea and strumpets – what a great Malapropism!
anyone else got an advert for ‘hospital bedside cabinets’ ?
Nope, got church chairs, antique furniture, and stacking chairs.
These strumpet tables are like the babies of the nude dining room table.
I’m getting ads for church chairs and pews. My ad box seems to be clinging to yesterday’s post.
edit: This was supposed to be under Tig’s post about hospital cabinets 🙁
Me too. It’s okay. I’ve been meaning to redecorate….
In the “Early Inquisition” style?
6 handicapped mahogany wood chipmunks (as opposed to stud-monks) for sale?
Sign me up!
Oh wait. Never mind. I would have so been there if they were made of Norwegian wood instead.
KTHNXS
-J. Lennon
Is “Mahogony” made when you combine “Mahogany” and “agony?” If so, perhaps the tables can be used with the Pews of Pain.
Repent, Strumpets!
Personally, I’d rather my strumpets be panting than repenting.
I’d tell them to repaint, and thin no more!
Ow.
WIN!
I want the chip and dale rescue ranger tables, please.
Okay, it was early when I first read this. The first cup of coffee had not yet percolated the life-giving molecules of caffeine to the general area of my brain. So now, thanks to you, I have a mental picture of Chip (dressed as only a Chippendales dancer can) and Dale (dressed as a strumpet), sipping tea whilst occupying a nest atop a small table. The nest, a tattered conglomeration of cast-off thongs, G-strings and a skimpy Beadazzled schoolgirl outfit, centers around a pole where even now Chip is currently wearing naught but a pair of black leather chaps and thrusting wildly to the primal rhythms of “Macho Man”.
I need more coffee and a pint of bleach, please, for my brain.
and possibly a lie down in a darkened room, followed be several lengthy therapy sessions.
Warm up the generator and pass the electrodes, I’m going to need some therapy to remove the image CanonicalKoi put in my head.
How will I ever watch the Rescue Rangers again without shuddering in horror?
We never will, unfortunately. You’ve seen it, with your minds eye….. You can’t unsee it!
I’m sorry, but the label on my brain clearly states:
“ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE!:
Not responsible for loss of articles, children, naivete or pets. Contents may have settled in shipping. Contents may have mutated in shipping. Internet memes will be promptly euthanized by a licensed veterinarian. Offer not valid in Nebraska. Void where prohibited.”
Still need more coffee. Maybe a little Lava soap.
But there still is NO RULE 6.
I’m pre-emptively invoking Rule 34. Somewhere out there, there is a pornographic drawing of Chip and Dale.
So I go to UrbanDictionary.com to look up “Rule 34” and this is their example:
“I invoke rule 34 on the Rescue Rangers. What have I done.”
What are the freakin’ odds?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule%2034
I think I’ve seen some, actually… Or That description up there is so visual that I think I’ve seen it already……
No way, that was their example? Must… resist… searching…
Note to self, do not read that again with a mouth full of chai. It nearly went all over my computer.
Heh… she keeps whores on her table XD
The preferred (politically correct) spelling is hores.
It looks like there’s only room for mine hores.
Oh please. As if strumpets would just sit nicely on the table. They’d be off and heaving their bosoms as soon as you turned your back.
Since the price is for the pair in the first ad, does that mean you only get to pick two? I’d totally go for the ity-bitty table and the largest one and keep them nested. The gap would filled with strumpets of course as I really have no other place to house my collection.
Your strumpets must be tiny!
The nesting tables would fit right in with this French Prevential furniture.
This reminds me of the time a woman stopped me on the harvester I was operating and asked me if she could get a picture of me next to my concubine.
Did you reply, “You could, but it would upset my wife? It’s kind of a sensitive topic.”
I grew up in an area that prominently featured combines during certain parts of the summer, and am now imagining a mistress bedecked in green and yellow John Deere gear and reclining seductively against a grain elevator.
XD XD XD
I love the comments on this blog! They’re almost as good as the posts themselves.
Good grief, I am getting a little hot and bothered Lola! I am a country boy through and through. Green and yellow are the color of love in my book.
OMG; the comments on YSaC often leave me giggling but you guys have outdone yourselves with this one. I am helpless with laughter.