You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. LXVII

Written by

drmk

in

3 lacawates valtrus-suka–update 10/4–only 2 left

i have 4 of these, if interested email for address(value of these-well you know)these are still in good oncdition,they are free for the taking
sorry no pic camera is brocken
only 3 now
updated sat morning,now theres only 2 available –i mite keep one

I have no idea what this is, but I really, really want one.

And, as it turns out, it’s a Googlewhack — if you Google for “lacawates valtrus-suka” to find out what it is, you get exactly one result — the original Craigslist ad. Of course, now you’re likely to get this page as well.

(*Hello, everyone who arrived here from trying to figure out what a lacawates valtrus-suka is!*)

Submitted by Kris — thanks!

Comments

41 responses to “YSaC, Vol. LXVII”

  1. jess Avatar
    jess

    whatever it is, it must be popular if there are only 2 left now…

  2. Kiraboo Avatar
    Kiraboo

    I love this part: “(value of these-well you know)”. No, sorry, I don’t know, I don’t even know what you’re selling. But considering the horrible spelling in the rest of the post, I’m guessing it could be just about anything.

    I also had to laugh at this: when I Googled lacawates valtrus-suka, Google asked “Did you mean: cacawates valtrus-suka?”, and when I clicked on that- NO RESULTS!! Google, you’re so helpful.

  3. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    I know, isn’t that hilarious? The same thing happened to me when I googled for it, and I thought, “Oh, a cacawates valtus-suka must actually be a thing.” But, alas, no.

  4. John R Avatar
    John R

    I know – why does Google do that? What taunting, condescending algorithm was invented to make us feel stupid?

  5. anon Avatar
    anon

    I couldn’t find anything for that phrase but I did find a band called Cacawates on MySpace. I also found some other videos on YouTube labeled Los Cacawates but since the descriptions and spoken languate is Spanish, I’m not sure what they are about. I couldn’t figure out what the heck valtrus-suka meant.

    Either option is a reasonable bet since the spelling resembles that of most MySpace users (Cacawates), or lacawates could be a contraction formed by an ESL writer for L’acawates (Los Cacawates) although I have never seen that before.

    So many mysteries, so little time.

  6. anon Avatar
    anon

    Doh!
    languate=language.

  7. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    That doesn’t really make sense with the rest of the post though — not that the rest of the post actually makes sense, mind you.

  8. bobora Avatar
    bobora

    Cacawates is a phonetic spelling of the Mexican Spanish word for peanuts (cacahuates). I don’t know what a “lacawates valtrus-suka” is, but somehow I doubt it has anything to do with Mexican peanuts.

  9. Nathan Avatar
    Nathan

    But at least its in good oncdition. I hate it when I order a lacawatas valtras-suka and it comes in bad oncdition.

    Almost as bad as when your camera brocks.

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      I think you mean “when your camera brecks.” Brock = past tense.

      1. tigprincess Avatar
        tigprincess

        please stop! my keyboard will breke from splti ocffee. LOL xx

  10. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    I can’t stop crying over this one and all of your responses.

  11. Heidi Avatar
    Heidi

    okay, this is my new favorite website! hahahaha! I laughing so hard, my stomach hurts! ha!

  12. Ellen Avatar
    Ellen

    As it turns out, it’s NOT a Googlewhack. To be a legal Googlewhack, you must enter 2 real words (they must individually link to a definition) that together return exactly one hit. Made up words don’t count. Sorry.

  13. Tonya Avatar
    Tonya

    A suka is the Russian word for bitch (slang). I don’t know whether this site has a cuss-guard, but in case the word is bleeped out, it rhymes with hitch. I am every bit as stumped as to the other two words… Maybe it’s a new language… like when cartoon characters do something screwy and they say things like “lacawaca-waca-waca…” Perhaps he is selling a cartoon bitch?

  14. KikiMayMay Avatar
    KikiMayMay

    “lacawates valtrus-suka” actually hits three websites now. I was curious. The third hit? A twitter account–evidently concerning the election riots in Iran.
    I just don’t get it.

  15. Stationary Avatar
    Stationary

    I suspect it refers to lacquerware, especially as specific types are usually referred to by their Japanese or Burmese names (like tsuikin), but Lord knows there’s no way to tell now. I can only regret I didn’t get a chance at my very own lacawate valtrus-suka. :c

  16. roughpaws Avatar
    roughpaws

    Wanna know something absolutely awesome?

    Over a YEAR has passed since this post apparently graced the epic pages of craigslist, and google still has no better results then before.

    However..
    If you start typing in “lacawates”, google automatically pops up with “cacawates valtrus-suka” now.

  17. Yuri Avatar
    Yuri

    Suka- in Russian mean bitch!

  18. knockerovels Avatar
    knockerovels

    In Russia bitch mean to YOU.

  19. lavachat Avatar
    lavachat

    My Guess: the dork sounded out the botanical name of an indian/african mint hybrid (meaning the plant, not the sweets):
    Leonotis (nepetifolia) Baltru-Suka
    A red-blooming hybrid of a perennial medicinal herb, grows to about 3m, blooms July to October. Named after the native gardener that bred it – so valtru-suka might be a valid transcription.

    For a healthy plant you’d get about $10 – 30.
    My mother loved them, had some varieties.

    Sorry to spoil the fun – I really lmao reading that and all your comments – but deciphering strangly spelled zoological/botanical names is a knee-jerk reaction with me.

  20. Rachael Avatar
    Rachael

    The mystery is solved! Good work, Holmes.

  21. GrahamT Avatar
    GrahamT

    Someone else please tell me they’re seeing this, too.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Seeing, not believing. Alien Pron!

    2. penguin Avatar
      penguin

      Trerheawl misread and thought the name of the site was You Suck at Porn.

    3. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Admin: the post the above comments refer to has been deleted (and reported) as being spam.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        drmk to the rescue!

  22. NotABrainiac Avatar
    NotABrainiac

    So, someone suggested “cacawates”…cacahuete is the Spanish word for peanut, but other than that, I got nothing.

  23. abster Avatar
    abster

    lavachat seems to think it’s somebody who attempted to phoenetically spell a plant called: Leonotis (nepetifolia) Baltru-Suka

    but aren’t we giving this CL poster waaaay too much credit? i don’t mean to be prejudiced against people who post CL ads that are THIS bad, but what are the odds someone who can’t spell “broken” is hanging onto some fancy gem of a plant AND knows what it is called. sort of.

    1. Astrognash Avatar
      Astrognash

      More importantly, Lacawates ≠ Phonetic Pronunciation of Leonotis.

      **motions for posters stuck in the deep dark bowels archives of YSaC to come into the Snark Lounge currently located in the June 2010 wing. Y’know, where there’s more than just the occasional regular showing up to check if anyone has solved an ancient mystery, and there are few spiders. But there are more zomb

      1. drmk Avatar
        drmk

        Astrognash, I love when people go read old posts! I love it even more when they read old posts and comment — and hopefully, when they then start commenting on the current posts because they recognize all the in-jokes/memes/stupid things that go on around here.

        1. Steph Avatar
          Steph

          Oh, yes. I finally figured out the whole Bacontini thing… I have yet to figure out Corey, though… I guess I haven’t gone far enough back.

        2. jg Avatar
          jg

          Steph, if you go to the forums, under the ysac memes you can find the source of Corey. As an aside, one of the things I remember about Corey was that really we were nice to him, and tried to be helpful. He just didn’t want to play along.

        3. Katimomkat Avatar
          Katimomkat

          Steph, seeing as I’m replying to your question more than three years later, you may never see this comment. I found the definition of [Corey] on Urban Dictionary. It’s useful for figuring out what most of the acronyms used, such as BBW, M4W and gl, mean. [In my defense, I’ve never read any “Personals” ads before.] I hope this helps.

  24. Caleb Avatar
    Caleb

    And this person can vote.

    Shame on democracy!

    1. NotMyName Avatar
      NotMyName

      Where does it say that they can vote? I don’t see the logic. Yeah, I know this is probably a very old comment, but still…

  25. HerbalDog Avatar
    HerbalDog

    There are now 4 pages of Google results, mostly asking what a lacawates valtrus-suka is. LOL!

    1. LurkRealClose Avatar
      LurkRealClose

      Up to 6 pages, now. 🙂

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        And still, no clear answer. How interesting!

  26. funky monkey Avatar
    funky monkey

    I may have overlooked where someone else dug this up, but here:

    http://cybernations.wikia.com/wiki/Asevor

    Funny.

  27. AnnaEA Avatar
    AnnaEA

    I think this might be phonetic French. I don’t speak it very well at all, but the end of “valtrus-suka” is very close to va le tres sucre , roughly “the very sweet” or “adorable”.

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